(AN: Lines in bold are not mine but taken from Rowling's one-shot, "James & Sirius Prequel" which can still be found on Mugglenet. (Linked at end of chapter on AO3.) It is referenced in this chapter, one of few things I use from Rowling beyond the books/movies since this came out before she outted herself as a TERF. Also, it's bloody hilarious to hear James say "Unisex" & I'm not missing out on that!)

(11) Unisex

It was over a week before Sirius left the hospital, but he didn't return to the House of Black. He was now in the Potter Manor, along with everything out of his room now put into what used to be a spare guest room. His motorbike was standing in the garage next to the Ministry car of Charlus Potter.

Charlus had used a Reparo charm on it since the bike was not damaged by any magic, just bumped & scraped by the crash, so Tri looked like new.

Sirius felt weird waking up in yet another room after being accustomed to the hospital room for so long. It took a few moments for his brain to catch up before the disorientation left him & he realized he was in the main guest room of the Potter Manor. Then he woke up fully. This was now HIS room & it was across the hall from James's room.

Sirius got out of bed & headed downstairs to find breakfast already served & waiting for him. James was sitting on one side of the table, stuffing his face with eggs & toast. They shared a look before Sirius sat down & started eating as well.

After a few minutes of silence, Sirius finally decided to get it over with. "So, when are you going to Moony's?"

With a groan, James pushed his toast around before answering, "Some time next week."

"Same time my father gets out of Azkaban," Sirius said. "I hope Moony will be okay."

"That's not your fault," James said. "Your Dad would have found out eventually. Besides, Regulus helped him."

"There's an Auror checking up on the Lupins every now & then," Charlus said as he came into the dining room. "Right now, there isn't much anyone can do except put an unplottable spell on the place. Only a select few know where the Lupins are right now. We're among those."

"I'm amazed the Ministry cares enough to keep Remus safe instead of taking him away," said Sirius.

"There's no rule for or against the parents keeping their infected child," said Charlus. "Also, they're currently in France & don't really have to bow down to the Ministry here except when Remus comes up into Hogwarts. He was rejected at Beauxbatons, don't forget. France doesn't allow dark creatures in schools. Britain is a bit more ambiguous about that & also, Dumbledore is the one who insisted on taking Remus into Hogwarts."

"What makes Remus different from other werewolves?" James asked. "He is the first & only werewolf puppy to get any education."

"Simple," Charlus shrugged. "He isn't insane. He's never killed anyone & has never tasted human blood. Dumbledore is trying to keep his human nature as the dominate one. That's what makes Remus so unique."

"He better be unique," James said with a laugh. "After all, he's the only guy at school who can ride a unicorn. Those stupid beasts don't seem to mind him but one of them threw me into the lake a couple years ago. I hit the rocks!"

Sirius choked on his eggs as he laughed. "I remember that!"

"So do I," Charlus was also laughing. "I got an owl about how you injured your arm & busted a rib. Like Jim? Stay away from unicorns. A two year old boy should know that."

"Why don't you both shut up?" James scowled as they laughed harder.

"Wish I could have seen it," Charlus teased, patting James on the head as he walked by. "Oh, your hair feels normal, again."

"What do you mean?" James asked, as he picked up a piece of toast & threw it at Sirius to shut him up.

"Well, a few nights ago, it felt like you had some hard lumps in your hair," Charlus said. "But I couldn't see what they were in the darkness."

Sirius dropped the piece of toast back into his plate (he had been about to throw it back at James). "Lumps?"

"Oh, that was Peter," James said rather quickly. "He had put some tiny butterfly clips in my hair but don't worry, I got him back real good for it!"

"Oh, was that it?" Charlus replied as James & oddly enough, Sirius as well, both nodded vigorously. "Well, good thing you got him back then," he said as he finally left.

Once he was gone, both James & Sirius let out a sigh of relief. Sirius leaned over the table a bit. "Is that still happening?"

"Dude, we're learning on our own," James defended. "I can't control Prongs in my sleep. It's hard enough when I'm awake."

Sirius glared into his plate. "We're lucky Animagic isn't traceable, at least."

James just nodded as he finished his breakfast.

The next few days went by slowly for Sirius. At the same time, they seemed to zoom by. Though it seemed like James at least was talking to him again, both could feel the dragon in the room. James would be going to France without Sirius for the first time since they had all met Remus. Neither broached the subject for a while.

Sirius was glad to be back on James's good side again, but often wondered why James was the first one to forgive him. "Why are you talking to me, again?" Sirius finally asked one evening while they were lounging around on a short sandy beach by the small lake behind the Potter Manor.

"Well, I'm kind of stuck with you permanently," James said. "Don't have much choice in the matter."

"Is that it?"

"That's it," James said, but he was grinning like an idiot. Sirius just stared at him like a pathetic puppy. James finally took pity on him. "Fine. First of all, I've had the displeasure of knowing you my entire life. We grew up together, even before Hogwarts. Also we're related. You know what they say. You can pick your friends, not your relatives."

Sirius threw his towel at James. "Quit it!"

James just rolled around, laughing. "Come on, mate. What did you expect me to say? You walked into it."

"Prongs," Sirius groaned.

"Alright, alright," James said. "Look, honestly, I hate being stuck in the middle. You & Remus sure pulled a stunt on me & Peter. We're both left trying to pick up all the pieces. You know Remus has a hot temper, bit like Miss Evans."

"Yeah," Sirius finally managed a smile as he took his towel back. "We both fell for short tempered partners."

"We're doomed," James said.

"I am," Sirius countered. "You're not. Evans never liked you at all & why would she? I don't know what a lady would see in you. OW!"

James had punched him on the shoulder. "I'll get her. Eventually."

After a few moments of silence, Sirius said, "Right now, you probably have a better chance than I do."

"I'll talk to Moony when I see him," said James. "He just needs some time."

"You yourself said you don't won't let me around him," Sirius pointed out.

"I haven't forgotten," said James. "I stand by what I said so long as Remus doesn't want to see you. Ultimately though, I think it's up to that wolf of his. Remus mentioned it in a letter to me while you were in the hospital."

"The actual wolf?" Sirius gasped. "What does he want?"

"Something about packing bonds & other bonds," James said. "Anyway, we have bigger problems. When we all go back to school again, we're going to be stuck in close quarters. I know you can use the guest dorms but that just takes care of evenings. We still all have to go to classes together & then of course, there's the full moon. I don't even know how that will work with only one large animal to hold the wolf back. Wormtail can't do much in his small form & Prongs usually has help from the Grim."

"I didn't even think of that," Sirius said. "He might not be able to get out without a complete pack."

"Yeah well, not much we can do about that, right now," said James.

"I really miss him, Prongs," Sirius whispered, not expecting to be heard.

"I know," James said, his stag-sense picking it up anyway. "But again, nothing I can do about it. At least, not right now. But Sirius? If he doesn't want to try again, you're going to have to leave him alone & I will make sure to keep you two separate."

"Yeah," Sirius sighed. "I know. But I certainly won't be going back to girls any time soon."

"Thank Merlin!" James exclaimed. "I can't count how many times I've walked in on you shagging someone."

Sirius stared in horror at him. "You've...walked in...on me...having sex?" His voice had come out in a high-pitched little squeak.

James was once more rolling around laughing. "No but oh my God! Your face!"

"I hate you," Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Your face!" James said again, wheezing.

"Well," Sirius said with an air of changing the subject. "I'm going to take Tri out for a spin."

"You do that!" James was now wiping tears from his eyes. "I can't see!"

Sirius rolled his eyes & began walking towards the house, pulling his T-shirt on. It was emblazoned with a large golden bird that both he & James had. The bird was a Phoenix. Sirius could hear James coming up behind him, still laughing under breath. "Are you quite finished?" Sirius complained. As James finally calmed down, Sirius added, "For a virgin, you've got quite the mind."

"Yeah well, I have read up on it," James said. Sirius tripped over something as they entered the garage. James went on, "I mean, I do need to know some things about girls if I'm ever going to start that."

"Dude, shut up. You haven't even kissed anyone, yet. Even Remus beat you on that one."

James glared for a fraction of a second. "I'll get to that," he defended.

"You have no idea how to kiss, do you?" Sirius asked as he pulled on his leather jacket.

"How should I know? I've never done that, yet!"

"But you're reading about it," Sirius teased.

"Just some medical books on the subject," James said.

"So you don't have any hands-on practice. Got it," Sirius said, pushing Tri away from the sidecar leaning against the wall.

"Who would I practice with?" James asked incredulously.

"Hmm, I don't know," Sirius answered as he set Tri on the kickstand. "Peter. Me. Remus."

"I'm not gay & neither is Peter."

"It's just practicing how to kiss," Sirius said. "Not a marriage contract." He leaned over the seat, looking the bike over.

"Come here."

"Huh? Why?" Sirius muttered, passing a hand over the seat.

"Would you get over here?" James all but snapped.

Sirius stood straight. "Sorry girl. I'll be back in a moment." He patted her handle bars before turning to find James standing there, hands on hips. "What do you wan—OOF!" James had grabbed him by the collar & yanked him close & now suddenly was ramming his tongue down Sirius's throat & doing a rather messy slobbery job of it, too.

They broke apart a moment later, panting & looking anywhere but at each other.

"OHH KAY!" James finally spoke. "We're not doing THAT ever again."

"I'm just glad you didn't do this at school," Sirius said. "There's enough rumours going around about us."

"I'm pretty sure Evans is the cause of all of them," James said.

"Yeah," Sirius said as he swung his leg over the seat & kicked up the stand. "Say, do you want to come with me?"

"Whoa now!" James put up both hands. "Kiss maybe, but I'm not having sex with you."

"The bike, you daft sod!" Sirius pointed to the seat behind him. James blinked dumbly like an owl which unfortunately gave Sirius time to make things worse. "Get on, behind me. ON THE SEAT! Merlin dammit!"

"Right," James said. "The seat. You want to take me for a ride?"

Sirius put his forehead down onto the handlebars as both finally just started laughing. "Alright!" Sirius gasped for air as he felt James settle onto the seat. He started Tri up at last. "Your Dad put a charm on Tri. Do you feel anything on your eyes yet besides your glasses?"

"Sort of."

"It's a wind protection shield," Sirius said. "No matter how fast we go, it won't hurt our eyes. Now, hang on!"

James barely had time to grab around Sirius's waist before the bike shot forward into the night. The bike gained speed as it nearly flew down the lane, street lamps whizzing by. The air whistled around them but they barely felt it.

"How fast does Tri go?" James screamed out in Sirius's ear as the wind whipped the words away almost as soon as he spoke.

"Very!" Sirius screamed back. He zipped around a corner. They went all the way into London before he slowed down at a muggle gas station & parked the bike. He took off the jacket & put it in the storage space under the seat, then brought James inside & got two slushies of mixed flavours.

As they went back outside & sat down on the bench under the light, James said, "You're pretty comfortable in the muggle world."

"I wish I was born that way," Sirius said.

"They won't accept you."

"I know," Sirius said before having more of his slurpie. "That's why we have a statute of secrecy."

"No, I mean," James hesitated before going on. "Muggles don't like alternate lifestyles. You & Remus could get into a lot of trouble."

"Oh, that," Sirius sighed. "Yeah, I know. We have to keep it quiet out here."

"Ow!" James put one hand to his head. "Something's wrong."

Sirius took James's drink away before he dropped it. "You're fine. You just took too much at once. It's called a brain freeze."

"Mmm. Brain freeze?"

"Too much ice at once," Sirius laughed. "No magic on these drinks so you feel the freeze. It'll pass in a minute." He started expertly sipping his drink.

"Dude, I'm friggen high!" James put his head back, lightly hitting the wall.

Sirius laughed into the straw, making the slush bubble a little. "No, you're not. Just give it a minute or two. Keep rubbing it."

"Uhh!" James groaned as he lowered his hand a few moments later. "That felt so weird."

"I got them a few times until I figured it out," Sirius said, handing James's drink back. "Just go a bit more slowly."

James tried again, sipping a few ice crystals & letting them melt in his mouth first. "So, how fast does that bike go?"

"Almost double the speed as she normally would," Sirius said. "I tinkered with it a little before trying to escape. That's why Dad had to apparate right in front of me to knock me off."

"Oh wow!"

"Also ... she can kind of fly," Sirius added.

"Fly?"

"Been playing around with some flying charms like on a broomstick."

"How did you dodge the trace?"

"Used Dad's wand," Sirius said. "I'd like her to go high up but I didn't have time to work on that, too much. But she can already go up about twenty feet or so."

A car pulled into the gas station as Sirius & James finished their drinks. It had blue lights on top of its roof that were turned off at the moment. Sirius got up & marched towards Tri without another look but James took his time to glance at the car. He saw two people get out, wearing uniforms. He hurried to catch up to Sirius.

"Why does that car have lights on top?"

"Jim, listen to me. Shut up & keep walking."

"Uhh, sure?" James took one more look at the officers, one of whom was currently refuelling the car with the petrol. "What's those uniforms for?"

"James," Sirius put a hand on his cousin's arm & pulled him along. "Don't look at them. It makes coppers antsy. We have to get out of here, now!"

"Coppers?"

"Police. Muggle Aurors. Get on."

"Oh!" James hurried onto the seat behind Sirius. "Why are you so antsy?"

"We don't have helmets."

"We don't need them," James said. "We have the shield charm on."

"We know that, but they don't. Now, grab hold!" Sirius revved up Tri. "We're about to break a shit-ton more rules in three—two—ONE!"

The bike shot forward once more into the street. As predicted, sirens were soon heard following. They had even called in backup & a few cars were now currently chasing the bike right out of London. It went on for nearly fifteen minutes before Sirius suddenly ended up at a dead end with a high brick wall.

"Just follow my lead," Sirius whispered to James as both watched the cop cars come down the alley, scrapping their sides in the narrow path.

"You've dealt with these coppers before, haven't you?"

"Maybe," Sirius said. "I have an idea."

Once the officers managed to get through & get out of their cars, one cop ordered the boys off the bike. Once they were standing next to it, the cop started barking about rules they had broken before demanding some names.

"Names?" repeated the long-haired driver. "Er—well, let's see. There's Wilberforce... Bathsheba... Elvendork... "

"And what's nice about that one is, you can use it fora boy or a girl," said the boy in glasses.

Sirius was trying so hard not to laugh & he could feel James's fingernails digging into his arm. They took out their wands & shouted Bombardia Maxima. The cop cars all shot back down the alley in a huge blast of power.

Thuds could be heard as, of all things, three men on broomsticks flying in the air collided with the flipping cars. Sirius & James got back onto Tri & Sirius started her up once more.

"Thanks very much!" called Sirius over the throb of the engine. "We owe you one!"

"Yeah, nice meeting you!" said James. "And don't forget: Elvendork! It's unisex!"

At that, Sirius yanked up on the handlebars, making Tri rear up so much that the bike took off & flew over the wall. They landed back on the highway & zoomed home to the Potter Manor. They went into the garage to park Tri.

"That was freaking awesome!" James exclaimed.

"I know, right?"

"Where'd you get Elvendork from?"

"I'm reading Lord Of the Rings, so my brain wanted something Elven but I can't make up names as well as Tolkien, so...yeah, that came out instead. Not quite what I wanted to say, but it worked. You calling it unisex though. I nearly died!"

"It's the best I could come up with on such short notice," James said, still laughing ridiculously.

"Want to hear something crazy?" Sirius went on as they headed for the inner door leading into the house. "I dated that cop's daughter last summer!"

"WHAT? NO!" James fell through the doorway to his knees, laughing harder than ever. "NO!" He pounded the floor with his fist.

"Yep, I sure did!"

"Stop!" James sobbed. "I can't laugh any more. It hurts!"

"SIRIUS & JAMES! GET THE FUCK INTO THE LIVING ROOM NOW!"

That stopped everything in the blink of an eye. James slowly got to his knees again before standing up next to an equally shocked Sirius. Charlus stood there, glaring at them. James had never seen his father so angry before.

"Is something wrong?" James gulped.

"YOU TELL ME, JAMES CHARLUS BLACK PEVVV—Potter! Now get in there or so help me, Merlin!" Charlus pointed with his wand before leading the way.

Before either boy could move, both yelped as they felt their earlobes in a pinch. Dorea had come up behind & snatched each of them, one in each hand. "I am very disappointed in you boys!" She pulled up on the lobes as she marched forward, dragging them along & didn't let go until they entered the living room. "Go sit down. Both of you!"

James whispered to Sirius as they headed to the couch, "I never heard him swear like that before."

"I think he knows what happened," Sirius muttered, rubbing his ear.

They meekly sat on the couch across from three Aurors sitting in armchairs, glaring at the boys. Each Auror had various degrees of bruises on their faces & one even seemed to have suffered a broken nose. Sirius & James instantly knew that they were the three who had been flying by on broomsticks, but they kept silent.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Charlus demanded.

"What do we say?" Sirius asked, trying to play as dumb as possible.

"Sirius, what the hell did you do with that bike?" Charlus tried again.

"We went for a ride."

"What else?" Dorea prompted, standing next to her husband. "James? Care to explain?"

"Just a ride," James echoed Sirius.

"You boys did a lot more than that!" Charlus snapped. "You attacked both muggle & magical Aurors alike!"

"We didn't do it on purpose," James said.

"You threw cars!" Dorea shouted.

"We didn't mean to hit anyone," Sirius interjected.

"We just went out for a ride," James added. "What's wrong with that?"

"James Charlus!" Charlus glared at his son as Dorea moved into the hall to answer the door once more for yet another visitor. "Riding the bike is fine & you both bloody well know that is NOT what we are talking about. Guess what? You just lost your privilege of going to France this summer!"

"Dad!"

"Shut up!" Charlus aimed his wand at James & cast a silencing charm. For good measure, he put one on Sirius as well & then charmed them into place on the couch so that they couldn't move. "Racing your motorbike in muggle territory. Using a combined spell to blow up a street. Using various magic spells in front of muggle Aurors AND—AND YOU HAVE CAUSED SEVERE INJURIES TO THESE POOR MEN! Throwing a car at OUR Aurors? What is wrong with you? Either of you? Sirius, you're already banned from going to France, so I'm taking that bike! You want it back? Boy, you better find a way to EARN it! What is going out there?" His eyes flicked to the archway as he heard more voices.

"Mrs. Black!" Dorea was shouting. "Stop it."

Sirius & James could only gasp in a breath at the name.

"My husband is not with me!" Mrs. Black retorted. "The Aurors contacted us as well over this but must I remind you that only Orion's name is on the restraining order?" She shoved by & entered the living room. "Well, now, Sirius. This is a fine kettle of mermaid fins! Do you hate your family so much that you have now tainted our name right into the Ministry? Answer me, boy!"

Charlus rolled his eyes before flicking his wand.

"Could not care less!" Sirius spat.

Charlus rolled his eyes, again, before flicking his wand, again.

Once more, Sirius felt the bind of the silencing charm.

"Maybe you don't care about me or your father but you're ruining things for Regulus now, as well!" Mrs. Black shot at him. Sirius just shrugged. He still didn't care. Mrs. Black shot a dark look at James. "None of this would have happened if it weren't for you!"

"That's enough!" Charlus now pointed his wand at her. "Walburga, I will deal with James myself as well as Sirius."

"Huh!" Mrs. Black sneered. "I suppose you will. Know what? You can keep him. He's bloody useless to us & a damn shame on our name." She looked once more at Sirius. "I'm blasting it!"

Sirius glared at her in defiance. She turned & stormed out.

Charlus finally released Sirius & James of the silencing charm, but still kept them tied to the couch. "Do you have any idea of the amount of cauldrons I had to stir to make sure neither of you are expelled? Huh? ANY IDEA?"

"Sorry. We're sorry."

"No, you're not," Charlus huffed. "Not yet, but I'll make sure you're both very sorry, indeed. Now go to your rooms. Both of you! NOW!" With a flick of his wand, James & Sirius could move again & they were on their feet before they could blink.

Sirius was the first one into the hall. He broke into a run & fled upstairs into his room. Everyone heard the door bang shut. James walked up the stairs & hesitated at the door. He heard the adults talking in low tones down below, so he opened Sirius's door & slipped inside. He found Sirius on the bed, face buried into the pillow.

"Um, Sirius?" James tried as he moved closer. "Are you alright?"

Sirius lifted his face from the pillow. "She's blasting it."

"Yeah, what does that mean?"

"My name," Sirius said. "They're removing it from the family tree in our living room."

"So? Why do you care?"

Sirius rolled over onto his back. "I-I don't know!" He pushed his hands through his hair. "I don't care. It's just—it's fine. I don't. Mmm!" He sat up sharply, clutching his forehead for a moment.

"Sirius?"

Sirius sat still for a moment before lowering his hands. "Bella once told me that if your name is blasted from the tree, it hurts you like a headache. I never believed her. Until now." He sighed & looked up at James. "Done. It's-It's done, now. I'm off the tree."

"But you're with us, Sirius," James said, sitting down on the bed. He put a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "You'll be fine. You're here."

"It's the only thing that's stopping me from having a meltdown," Sirius muttered as he lay back. James curled up next to his side.

"I wonder where those three Aurors came from?" James asked. He felt Sirius shrug. "I've never seen Dad so angry in all my life. That was...that was something else."

"Yeah," Sirius said. "Sorry about France, Prongs. Now Remus is going to be short two of us instead of one."

"I'll try talking some sense into Dad, tomorrow," James said. "We can't all leave Remus alone."

"Do you think you can change his mind?"

"I hope so," said James.

They lay on the bed together in silence for a few minutes. Sirius finally asked, "So, is this what getting into trouble with your parents actually supposed to be like?"

"What do you mean?"

"If that was my Dad down there, he would have used the Cruciatus curse on us," Sirius said.

"Oh," James sighed. "My parents would never do that. The most they have ever done before now was maybe a clip over the head or something. Usually more of a laugh than anything else." He gingerly touched his red earlobe. "Never got grabbed before. That was new!"

Sirius took a long time before saying, "Is this really the first time you got in trouble with your parents?"

"Pretty much," James said.

Sirius stared at the ceiling. "Dad is right. You are spoiled rotten."

Both started laughing uncontrollably for the next several minutes. James finally got up & stretched before going to the door. "I better get to bed. Don't worry. I have every intention of going to France. I'll get it sorted later."

"I hope so," Sirius said as James left.

Sirius lay awake in bed for a long time. He heard things get quieter down below & eventually, it seemed that only Charlus & Dorea were the only adults there as the others had finally left. Sirius waited. He could hear the stairs creak as James's parents finally came up the stairs.

But neither of them opened his door.

Sirius knew full well that if he had been at the Black home, one of his parents, usually his father, would have barged into his bedroom just to torture him some more, but that didn't happen here. He didn't dare relax even though he knew that the worst the Potters would ever do to him was yell & perhaps snatch up an earlobe.

But the confrontation was truly over & left in the living room. It was strange knowing that nothing more would be coming tonight.

What about tomorrow?

They would never do that. Sirius thought over what James had told him. Was the moment of trouble truly over?

It was late in the morning before Sirius finally was able to sleep. His body was sore from being tensed up & ready for the spell of pain it was used to getting but now, nothing had happened. It got even weirder for Sirius when he learned the next day that James had slept all night without a care in the world. James ... was not afraid of his parents. Sirius kept silent on the matter as he had to remind himself yet again that he was no longer under the dictatorship of Black nobility. Though distantly related, the Potters could not be more different from the Blacks if they had tried.

Yes, they still gave him & James looks of disappointment. Tri was still locked under a spell Sirius couldn't break through at the moment, but otherwise the bike was fine. James was still banned from France & finally, after another day, Sirius allowed himself to worry only about that. There was really nothing else to fear from living in the Potter house.

(AN: Ripped off Lord Of The Rings with the ear grab thing.)