ELLIOT'S POV
Sept. 21, 2011
Olivia Benson,
I left. I'm sorry. I killed Jenna. I killed Jenna and I left you. I left my partner. You have to understand I had to leave. Olivia, if I didn't make it a clean break, I would have stayed. I wish I could have told you myself. I was afraid that if I saw you, I wouldn't have been able to leave.
No excuse I could use could ever fix what I have done. No apologies could mend this. I am sorry. I am so sorry, Olivia. I wish I didn't have to leave, especially not like this. I wish I could stay. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.
I know I am holding you back. I have been for a long time. I need you to know that I never meant to hurt you like this. I love you, Olivia. I am a coward. I am a fool. I am a fucking moron. You have so much more potential than what you even know.
I hope one day you can forgive me, but I understand if you can't. I don't believe I would forgive you if you left like I did- but I know you wouldn't leave. You have always been a better person than I am. That's why I love you. You deserve something and someone better than me.
I have to let you go. Please let me go. I love you, Olivia Benson. Please don't ever forget it.
Elliot Stabler