Okay, maybe doing a public event after a traumatic experience wasn't the smartest move on Swerve's part. He just got so caught up in Rodimus' excitement- A late sparkling shower with friends sounded harmless. Rodimus had pitched the idea in his 'motivational speech' voice. It had convinced Swerve that this was a great idea.
Now, with his spark hammering in his chassis, and him shaking in his plating from the army of optics glued to him, Swerve wished he stayed in the medbay. There were optics everywhere, pinning him in the booth he designated as his home base.
This was out of control. There was an actual line that reached down the hallway of bots waiting to get a glimpse of the sparkling. This was making him feel claustrophobic.
It was all their captain's fault. Rodimus made a ship-wide announcement about the sparkling shower. He got every mech involved to help plan the party.
Rewind had set up a holo screen to display pictures of Swerve and Veer. Nautica repainted the banner in pastel colors. It had Thunderclash's name crossed out. Tailgate and Cyclonus created sparkling shower energon goodies in the shape of cute baby items like pacifiers. Whirl convinced Brainstorm to create a gender reveal confetti cannon.
That last part was a disaster. He could still hear the screams of the poor mech who was slammed into the bar with pink bits of paper lodged in his transformation seams. It was as hilarious as it was horrifying…..
Swerve ducked behind a stack of presents that were neatly organized on the table. Ultra Magnus had taken upon himself to monitor the situation and to help keep things orderly. Swerve would have appreciated it, if the big lug wasn't making his anxiety worse.
He kept threatening to put guests in the brig if they didn't start behaving themselves. There were a couple of tense moments where Swerve was certain a fight was going to break out. It stressed his poor spark enough that he considered asking Magnus if he could take off the freakin armor and just enjoy the party a little.
Veer, sensing her carrier's unease, started fussing in his arms. Her tiny face was scrunched up in a way that threatened tears. Swerve, ever the hostage to his own sparkling, gently rocked her in place. He mumbled soft pleads for her not to cry.
Rodimus leaned over and awed at the sight, "Someone is fussy."
'Yeah, me', Swerve thought to himself.
"Ya think she's hungry or…Oh I know! HEY REWIND!" Rodimus shouted across the room.
Swerve cringed as Veer started wailing loudly. He cursed under his breath, watching as pitiful fat tears rolled down her cheeks. He wiped them away and rearranged her to lay closer to his spark casing.
"Rodimus, lower your voice!" Mags scolded.
Even Whirl, from across the room, booed at the Captain for making Veer cry. Cyclonus yanked the copter back into his chair while Tailgate worked on hiding the confetti cannon. Smart. The last thing they needed was Whirl dishing out pink paper justice.
Rodimus, to his credit, looked at Veer with a guilty face, "Aw scrap, I'm sorry Veer. Uncle Roddy sometimes forgets to use his inside voice,"
Veer looked up at the Captain with brilliant blue optics. She blinked the tears away then hiccuped. Rodimus frowned, gently rubbing her cheek with his digit. Veer took a hold of it with her tiny servo which earned a happy gasp.
"Swerve! Look!" Rodimus said as if he'd been chosen by Primus.
Swerve smiled at the interaction. He couldn't stay mad. This ship was full of bots inexperienced when it came to sparklings. This was a big adjustment for everyone, him included.
"She really likes you captain," Swerve commented
"Aw, yeah! Hear that Mags? I'm her favorite!"
Ultra Magnus rolled his optics then to Swerve's surprise made a funny face when Rodimus wasn't looking. For a moment Swerve thought he was having a stroke. That earned a happy gasp from the infant. Rodimus whipped around confused. He frowned, not seeing whatever could have made her do that.
Swerve about died when Magnus did it again. Rodimus hiked up his spoilers when Veer cooed. He frowned then glared suspiciously at the ex enforcer. He leaned close then brought two digits to his optics then pointed them at Ultra Magnus.
"I'm onto you Mags."
"I haven't the faintest idea what you are referring to Rodimus."
"Riiiiiight- Lying in front of a sparkling? For shame," Rodimus shook his helm then grinned at Veer, "Isn't that right? Big bad Mags is lying."
Swerve laughed when his sparkling took the digit she was holding and then tried to stuff it in her face. Rodimus blinked then laughed saying that it was proof he was the favorite.
Rewind interjected by plopping a wrapped gift on the table, "That's because she hasn't spent time with Uncle Rewind. Isn't that right cutie patootie?"
Swerve eyed the new gift with suspicion. It was probably normal since Rewind brought it. Though he was paranoid after someone thought gifting a newborn a knife was a great idea. He suspected the Scavengers were involved. Yeah, that gift was staying far away from Veer.
"Uh no. I'm still her favorite. Just look at her~ she loves me," Rodimus boasted.
"That or it's time for her lunch… A single digit doesn't mean scrap. Plus I was there for her birth. Where were you captain?"
Swerve choked on a snort. He has a point… Much to the bartender's dismay, almost everyone here saw it. Really-He couldn't believe Rodimus missed the Ibex Cup. It was rather weird. Rodimus loves racing.
Nautica, who was tinkering with a Camien music box, looked up from her project with a smirk. "Ooh, the captain has competition now. Good thing I'm already the best aunt."
"I was busy! Doing captainy things.. look- It doesn't matter; I've already been chosen by the great and powerful Veer!"
Veer continues to drool on the digit that Rodimus refuses to take back. The speedster cooed at her then grinned at all the bots around him. Rodimus really was taking a liking to her.
"Now, what was it that you needed, Captain?" Rewind asked, scooting himself next to Swerve in the booth.
"Yes, Rewind. As your captain I bestow unto you an important mission. I need you to go through your data files and find some awesome music for my new tiny co-captain"
"Co-captain? How come my sparkling is getting a promotion before I am?", Swerve jokes, "And does Megatron know there's now a third co-captain?"
Rodimus used his free servo to wave away the comment, "Old Bucket head can get over that fact- Veer is so cute, she earned the title with looks alone. And Swerve buddy- Be happy for your daughter's success. Jealousy isn't a good look."
Swerve laughed, "Whatever you say 'captain'. Guess I'll go to Veer next time I need my liquor license renewed. Good to have friends on the inside."
Ultra Magnus scowled at that, "No, Swerve. You still are required to go through the due process of renewing your license. Cutie Patooties aren't pardons."
Rodimus snorted, "Hey, Mags! You've been practicing your jokes. Good one!"
Nautica made a disappointed, "Awe, I was going to ask Veer to approve my engine renovation plans.."
She reached over to boop Veer on her nasal ridge. That earned an excited babble and the clumsy waving of her free servo. The entire group awed.
Rewind, who apparently finished going through his database already, triumphantly, changed the holoscreen to display a cartoon. Four cartoon dogs appeared on the screen dancing. Swerve could hear the group happily yell out "MOM!", then continued to dance. He recognized it as that human child's cartoon called Bluey. The effect was instantaneous. Veer stopped drooling on the captain's servo and stared wide-optic at the big screen.
"Wait no! Veer, come back to me. Rewind, you evil son of a bi-" he hesitated. "Blue dog! You stole her away! I just say play some cool jams. Not whisk her away from the best uncle"
"Who's the favorite uncle now?" Rewind coldly replied.
"Sheesh, Rewind. That was cut-throat. Remind me never to get on your bad side," Swerve said while totally not watching the show alongside his daughter.
Rodimus deflated knowing he couldn't compete with the likes of Bandit. That dog knew how to be a damn good sire. For Primus sake- that heeler had a puppet unicorn. What more could a sparkling want?
Swerve, taking pity on the captain, decided to throw him a bone, "Hey Captain, want to hear a secret?"
That caught his attention. Rodimus nodded then leaned in close with his kibble hiked way up. Swerve got right next to his audio receptor and whispered:
"You are the only one who's digit she held,"
Rodimus jumped and fist pumped into the air, "Yes! In your face Bandit. Still the best uncle!"
Swerve leaned back in the booth with a smile. Not a fake one-no. One that felt right. One that felt real. He was…happy? Yeah, he was happy. And despite his hesitation this sparkling shower was turning out nice.
"Oh, hey Rewind. I wanted to ask you a favor," Swerve said basking in the warmth buzzing through his spark.
"Absolutely, Yes." Rewind said without hesitation.
Swerve slowed blinked behind his visor. He wasn't expecting such a fast answer. Not that he was complaining…but just to be sure.
"Yes? For all you know you are agreeing to clean my bar."
"Doubt that- you are weirdly anal about your system. I'm guessing you want me to watch Veer. The answer is a hundred times yes. Me and Domey have been dying to sneak in some private Veer time."
Swerve laughed, "Well, you read me like a book. Guess I'm too predictable. Maybe I should start doing weird stuff to throw off your game like–I don't know. Start saying weird phrases like…Hey Rewind, go eat a mango!"
That earned a pause. Nautica made a face while Rodimus looked like he was fighting off the urge to say 'that's what she said'.
…
"Okay, maybe not. That sounds like a weird innuendo. Please don't eat a mango near my sparkling." Swerve admitted.
That earned him some chuckles. Swerve grinned like a fool. It always felt nice to have bots laughing with him instead of at him.
"Aw what? Why can't I watch her?" Rodimus asked with a pout in tow.
"Because it's about that thing we talked about... Also I don't trust you not to steal Minimus' mustache and try to put it on her," Swerve said, eyeing Ultra Magnus.
"Oh! Yeah, okay fair."
The mech in question scowled down at Rodimus as if daring him to ever touch his mustache. Rodimus only grinned back at Magnus. Oh, Swerve knew that look. That was a promise. He better prepare to have a mustache wearing sparkling in the near future.
"Hey Swerve," a newcomer's voice cut through their group.
Their little moment was interrupted by a mech in line finally reaching the table. Crosscut. Oh, Swerve kind of forgot about him. The bot had holed himself up in his room writing a play or something from what he heard. The last time they really interacted was when Swerve held those fake auditions back on cybertron. Those auditions were hilarious but the two of them didn't have much of a chance to hang after the fact.
What could he possibly want? Well, besides the obvious, to see the sparkling. They weren't quite friends….And to Swerve's knowledge the mech didn't really care about sappy homey stuff. He was kind of surprised he showed up. Swerve glanced down at his daughter's blue frame. Then it dawned on him that Crosscut was very much friends with somebot important.
Oh.
Oh no.
Oh yikes on freakin trikes!
This conversation was about to get real awkward and he was way too sober to deal with it! He hadn't even had the chance to practice a speech in his helm.
Yep, okay, cool. He could handle this. It wasn't a big deal. Just the friend of your sparkling's sire coming to confront you about said sparkling. Normal typical stuff that happens at a sparkling shower. Yep.
"Oh heeeeey Crosscut. The Crosscutty. The CrossCussy," Swerve said, then immediately regretted the words that tumbled out of his mouth. He cringed on the inside but decided to double down, "It's, uh, nice to see you. What brings you here?"
The ex-senator approached the table with the grace of a well-trained high tower mech. His visor was transfixed on the miniature Blurr clone snuggled up in Swerve's arms. Crosscut then turned his attention to Swerve.
"There's something I'd like to discuss with you. In private if you don't mind."
Oh, he did mind. He minds a lot. This was the absolute last thing that he wanted to do at this very moment. But, he knew this wasn't something he could avoid long term. It was a conversation that was going to happen-...That didn't mean Swerve couldn't delay it a tiny bit for his mental health.
"Yeah! Sure, uh, could it possibly wait a couple of clicks? Me and Rodimus were about to go down to the communication deck. I got a call to make before it gets too late back on cybertron. Space time zones, am I right?" Swerve said offering him a grin
"..That's fine. Message me when you are through. Alright?" Crosscut said in this weird tone.
Swerve didn't know the mech well. But from their brief interactions together he didn't know Crosscut to be this serious. He was the same mech that helped him punk an entire list of eager future crew members. This didn't bode well.
"Um, yeah. I'll hit you up as soon as we wrap it up," Swerve said getting up from the booth.
Carefully, he transferred his daughter off to Rewind's eager arms. Swerve softens his gaze as he watched Veer nestle into his friend's chassis. She was a sweet little thing. Way too precious for this world.
Just like Skids. Swerve wished he was here. Skids would have enjoyed this. He glanced at Nautica still fiddling away with her gift. Anytime he looked at her it felt like someone was missing. It felt like the universe was unbalanced. Skids would make this party perfect.
"We'll be back soon. Comm me right away if she starts to fuss. There should be a bottle ready for her in my bag if she gets hungry. Okay? Oh! And remember if Tailgate wants to hold her then make sure Cyclonus or Whirl supervises. Love Tailgate but he has butter servos. And-"
"Swerve, relax. I got her, okay? Your comm number is on speed dial. Now shoo. Go enjoy your sparkling free time while you can, " Rewind said waving his servo away at him.
Swerve hesitated for a moment. It was silly, he would only be ten minutes away from her; yet, he struggled to just walk away. It took Rodimus guiding him towards the exit for the minibot to get his aft in gear.
On his way out he could hear Rewind go, "Wait? Did he say 'Whirl supervise' ?"
Swerve didn't get a chance to defend the wrecker. Whirl was surprisingly very careful around Veer. He had no doubt if Tailgate accidentally dropped her that Whirl would dive in for a save.
As they walked away Swerve stole a glance at Crosscut. The mech was still standing there with his arms crossed and his visor darkened. The playwright definitely had some words for Swerve. Maybe, just maybe, things would smooth over once he talked to Blurr.
Swerve pushed it out of his processor as they headed towards their destination. Right now, he needed to forget Crosscut and focus on what to say to Blurr.
Hi Blurr, remember me? I'm that minibot you hooked up with-
No, Swerve cringed. He didn't want to say that in front of Rodimus. His booty call should remain private. Maybe he could try…
Hey zippy! Speedster King! The Ibex champion! Just calling to congratulate you on the win pal. Oh, yeah this is your buddy Swerve. You remember me right?-
No, why did he always get weird with nicknames? That would probably irritate the speedster. Zippy? At least he could be original with the slagging names.
Blurr, I had your sparkling!
..Nope. Starting a conversation like that would scare any bot off. Frag this was hard.
"Swerve, do you want me to do the talking?" Rodimus asked. "You're kind of rattling in your own plating buddy. Also we're here," he made his way to the communication hub.
"YES!", Swerve blurted, then covered his own intake embarrassed. "Uh- yes..please. That would be great. Cuz right now I'm pretty sure my mouth will say something stupid and completely ruin this for Veer. No pressure, right? Just the future relationship between my daughter and her sire is at stake. Oh, Primus I'm doing that thing. You know, that thing when my mouth won't stop moving because I'm like super anxious and-"
Rodimus slapped a servo over Swerve's running mouth. In all honesty the bartender was thankful that the captain was shutting him up. He knew that once he got going it was almost impossible to stop.
"Relax, Swerve. We got this. I've known Blurr for eons. He isn't going to react as half as bad as you think. Now, sit back, relax, and let Rodimus, the master of awesome speeches, work. "
Swerve could only nod with a servo still covering his mouth. He watched as Rodimus threw him a thumbs up then quickly punched in a combination of numbers. Once the enter button was hit Swerve froze.
The console started to output the dialing sound. Unlike the time Swerve tried to call before, it didn't spit out an error message. The one Rodimus had was the real deal. It was trying to connect to the other side.
Swerve just stood there as it kept ringing. And ringing. Annnd ringing. Till the call was dropped.
"Huh, that's weird. Blurr usually picks up before the first ring. Fragger loves to be first" Rodimus said while leaning against the console.
So, they tried again. Once more the commlink just rang. They stood there for a couple more tries. Still there was nothing.
Swerve chewed on his bottom lip. He couldn't help the sting of rejection stabbing his spark. This felt like the Blaster call all over again. Only this time he had a friend to witness it.
Swerve stood staring at the blank screen. No one picked up. The only thing he could see was his own pathetic reflection staring back at him.
"He must be really busy- We'll try again later buddy. Let's get back to the party and forget about it for now." Rodimus said, trying to distract poor Swerve.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," Crosscuts voice said from the entryway.
It startled Swerve out of his self loathing staring contest. He turned his attention to a nervous looking Crosscut. He walked over like a mech about to be executed. There was this heaviness to each of his steps.
He stopped right in front of Swerve. "He won't be picking up."
Rodimus bristled at the ex senator, "Yeah? Want to explain how you know?"
Swerve watched on as Crosscut rubbed his own helm. The mech looked mad uncomfortable with whatever he had to say. He first looked at Rodimus then at Swerve.
".. Because he's offlined. "
Because he's…? Swerve took a step back, hitting the console. He stared at Crosscut in disbelief.
"It happened during the attack of Unicron. He lost his life helping bots evacuate," Crosscut continued.
"What? No! There's no fragging way that Blurr is-.. Swerve, are you alright ?"
Swerve didn't catch whatever Rodimus said after that. His processor was too busy swimming with the new information.
Blurr, his hero, his idol, and one of the few reasons he kept going was dead. Just like Skids. Just like Ironfist. Just like Pipes. All dead. All gone from Swerve's life without a final goodbye.
For a second he could recall the sight of Skids' grey lifeless frame. The place that yellow sunny optics should be were now a dark bleak empty hole. The brightness that Skids used to bring was replaced by a lifeless husk.
That was the prize Swerve won after surviving the DJD for a second time. Another friend to bury and more hope for the future lost. Maybe it would have been better if he'd offlined instead.
"O-oh…I see," Swerve said, glancing down at his pedes.
Rodimus slammed his servo against the metal console, "That's not funny Crosscut. Swerve, don't listen to him. He's just yanking our chain. Frag off and go mess with someone else!"
Crosscut didn't move. He stared at them with pity in his visor. Swerve swallowed thickly as his words sunk in.
For a brief moment Swerve considered forgetting the party, the call, and this conversation. He could just go back to his room. He wanted to turn off all the lights so he could lay in his berth with no sensory input.
His digits twitched. Swerve wanted to scratch at his protoform. He wanted a distraction. No-he needed one. Any kind- From his experience physical pain could wash out the emotional.
He could do it. He could send out his holo form and nobody would know. Just like he did for months before. This time nobody would find him.
Swerve's engine hiccuped in distress. This conversation, this moment, didn't feel real. Blurr was dead. Blurr would never meet Veer. Veer would grow up never knowing her sire.
Guilt washed over Swerve. Lost in his own pain, for a moment, he forgot about his creation. He was selfish.
Veer didn't deserve a carrier so willing to abandon her with a hologram. She deserved better than that. Primus, Swerve hated himself.
She was the last bit of joy Swerve had. Yet, here he was thinking of ways to disappear. He should be focusing on her. He should go back to the party and hold her close.
"I need to go," Swerve said, pushing himself away from this conversation.
"Swerve wait-" Rodimus called out.
The bartender flashed his friend a sad smile, "Party guests are waiting and Veer needs her lunch. I'm heading back. Thanks for trying to help Roddy. I appreciate it."
Swerve made a quick exit out of the hall. He headed back to the bar to play pretend. He was good at that. It'll be fine. If not for his friends then for his creation he'd put on the best performance. He was Swerve! The wacky side character.