Dearest One

by benslerbensler

All the letters that Olivia and Elliot wrote to each other throughout the 10 years that they never sent. TRIGGER WARNING ON CERTAIN CHAPTERS-LOOK AT THE TOP OF CHAPTERS

12. Chapter 12

***TRIGGER WARNING; SUICIDE***

ELLIOT'S POV

May 11, 2014

Olivia Benson,

I started therapy. I hate it. I still have nightmares. I still am struggling to get out of bed. I don't know what therapy does other than play with my fucking brain and make me feel shitty. I feel like a guinea pig being used for experiments. Nothing is helping.

I almost got fired from my security gig. I might quit anyway. It was never a permanent job. Just something to keep the lights on and keep me out of the house. I want to see you. I want to hear you. I love you too much to come back. If I actually loved you, I would have never left. Maybe I just hate everyone. I do. Except you.

Elliot Stabler