Dearest One

by benslerbensler

All the letters that Olivia and Elliot wrote to each other throughout the 10 years that they never sent. TRIGGER WARNING ON CERTAIN CHAPTERS-LOOK AT THE TOP OF CHAPTERS

17. Chapter 17

OLIVIA'S POV

Jan. 14, 2016

Elliot Stabler

I don't know why I keep putting myself in these situations. I have a child now. A child I love beyond anything I can describe. I can't tell you why I do it. Maybe it's some sort of underlying denial of happiness. All I know is that I don't want to keep doing it.

I walked right into a hostage situation. I was willing to die for a family I didn't even know. I understand that is what a police officer does. To serve and protect. I understand that. I keep going above and beyond when I don't need to. I didn't need to go into that townhouse. I didn't need to do any of it.

I always talk about myself. I never want to know how you are doing. I think a little part of me is still hoping that you are miserable.

Lt. Olivia Benson