ELLIOT'S POV
Jan. 14, 2018
Olivia Benson
I'm all settled in here in Rome. Or at least moved in. Kathy has made a group of friends and Eli loves his new school. Me? I work. I'm not enjoying not being in the same time zone as you. I miss your presence. Or maybe I miss the idea that you were on the same continent as me. That maybe I could run into you at any point.
I hope you really are happy. I hope you have met someone and created a family of your own. You deserve the family you always wanted. You were my family. And you don't abandon family. I'm so sorry. You would never abandon your family. You are better than me.
My therapist didn't follow me, so I haven't gone in over a month. I can feel myself going back into my old patterns. I didn't like that version of me. It's taking everything in me not to call you. But how do I call you and act like I didn't just vanish from your life? I want to believe that one day I can come back and it will be okay, but I'm not sure I will ever get over it. I will never forgive myself
You deserve better.
Elliot Stabler