Note: Another standalone fic, unrelated to my other writing. I was faced with a dilemma... go to bed, or quickly write something. I am a fool. I'm not even sleeping on it to check for edits in the morning.

Dunno how many more standalone fics I'll be writing while I avoid finishing certain chapters of So Close, but two in two days probably says something about my ability to dodge work before I'm ready to tackle it.

Partners

"Get over yourself, Yuy!"

Wufei knew there was nothing quite like a petulant Heero Yuy, frowning by himself, glaring daggers at you, to set a person on edge. Heero looked downright hurt, but also somehow extraordinarily murderous. He wasn't sure anyone else in the entire galaxy could pull off a look like that.

"You can't be this upset. Are you seriously this upset?"

Heero's eyes only became more intense. He was sitting on a bench with his back to a picnic table while wearing full fatigues. A helmet and weapon were laid out in front of him. There was a redness to his face that might have been embarrassment but could have been anger. Only Duo could ever truly tell the difference.

Trowa came up beside him and handed a bottle of water to his partner. They were dressed identically, though the taller man had ditched his helmet and weapon in the proper storage unit rather than carrying them around. When Trowa dropped to sit next to Heero, he gave him a nudge with his elbow. He got no reaction from him outside of becoming the new focus of that patented Heero Yuy glare.

"For the love of..." With a frustrated growl, Wufei stalked over to where his friends were seated. "Are you planning to sulk all damn day because Duo chose me over you?"

Heero's eyes darted to meet Wufei's, and Trowa gave a silent signal not to continue that line of questioning. But in Wufei's eyes Heero was being ridiculous. And he had no patience left.

"He's my partner, Yuy!"

"He's my partner!"

Wufei scoffed loudly and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. "He's your life partner but he's mine in the field. And he chose correctly."

Trowa looked horrified, and scooted himself farther away from Heero, unsure of what reaction his friend would have to being one-upped by none other than Chang Wufei. Not everyone understood the depth of friendship between the Chinese man and his American partner. Some people incorrectly assumed they were a couple, in spite of Wufei being married to Sally and Duo being in a committed relationship with Heero.

Within their friend group their dynamic was often teased, but never made awkward. Both Heero and Sally were always secure with their respective situations, knowing those two loved each other fiercely and platonically. But today a line was crossed. An event none had foreseen occurred, and Duo, when given a choice, picked Wufei over Heero for the first time ever.

Paintball teams were a bitch.

In a low growl Heero explained "I just don't see why he picked you over me in battle. I'm the one who's got his back. I'm the one who's supposed to be there for him!"

Holding a hand to his left temple like he had a headache coming on Wufei barked "No! You're always mistaking that! That's my job! I'm the one who has his back in battle. You're the one who welcomes him home afterwards!"

"Well I was his partner first!"

"That was half a lifetime ago, Heero! Get over yourself! He's been my partner in the field longer than he ever was yours!"

Trowa had no idea what to do. His friends were at each other's throats. Quatre was MIA somewhere off with Duo, and he did not have the social skills to stop this argument. If anyone tried to rope him in to take sides he was doomed. He considered his options for retreat, but they were limited and escape would not go unnoticed. When Heero turned to him his heart sank and his brain froze up.

"Can you believe this asshole?"

There was no way for Trowa to answer Heero's question and remain neutral. He just sat there, wide-eyed, wishing he'd stayed at the refreshment booth and not actually brought Heero a bottle of water in an attempt to improve his mood.

"Don't you think he's just mad that we defeated the two of you?"

Green eyes darted to Wufei, and no words came to mind that would maintain neutrality. Could he pretend to have amnesia again? Would that remove him from this debate?

Their voices raised and the volume made Trowa flinch. He never had a problem with loud noises while on the job, or else he'd never make it as a Gundam pilot, let alone an expert in artillery or a Preventer's agent. He was even fine with it during sex. But in those times his guard was up. He was prepared for it, expecting it, and sometimes even anticipating and welcoming it.

In his free time, outside of sex, loud noises physically hurt. Particularly when they originated from human voices. He was a fool to think paintball could be anything other than all-out war between his friends.

I really am a clown, he thought, to think anything different.

He was once again seriously considering retreating when he spotted Quatre and Duo approaching at 3:00. Quatre would rescue him. He was certain. Because if his lover didn't rescue him from this sensory nightmare he was running away to the circus.

Trowa wasn't paying enough attention to notice who shoved who. He only noticed Duo dash between the two men, and then everything got quiet. When he looked up, he realized he should've looked down. Heero and Wufei were both lying flat on their backs with Duo between them. The braided man was on his knees, a hand squarely centered to each of their chests, pressing them into the ground to hold them still and glaring at them for all he was worth.

Shinigami came out to play, even though the paintball game was over.

"What. The hell. Is wrong with you two?"

The venom in his voice was unprecedented outside of life and death situations, and both Heero and Wufei were smart enough to take him seriously. Unfortunately, neither responded in a timely enough fashion for Death.

Duo gave them both equal shoves further into the ground as he demanded "Explain yourselves!" and then pointedly shot Wufei a vicious look. "You first."

It took no time for him to respond.

"Heero's mad you chose me as your paintball partner!"

When Heero hissed snitch under his breath Duo rounded on him like a wild animal.

"Did I tell you to talk, Yuy?"

Heero quickly and tightly shook his head, and Duo's attention went back to Wufei.

"Is that all?"

"Trowa bet him you'd pick me and he's also mad he lost that bet!"

Trowa froze, and Quatre's comforting hand came to rest on his shoulder. He did not want to be part of whatever was going on, but thankfully Duo ignored him and remained focused on the men who started it all.

Without waiting to hear more, Death turned his fury back to Heero.

"Your turn."

"He's not wrong. I have no excuse."

They stared at each other for a long moment, tension radiating from them both. Duo's eyes narrowed, and he asked "That's it?"

Heero nodded.

"Why does that make you so angry you feel the need to act out like a hurt child?"

"You've never chosen Wufei over me before."

"And?"

"I don't like it."

"Seriously?"

Heero nodded, and Duo filled with rage. He shoved his two captives into the ground again, and hooked his feet around their ankles to pin them further into place. He didn't want them to easily escape.

"That's bullshit, Ro! You don't attack your friends over something so stupid! Jealousy does not look good on you. It's not—"

Duo's anger seemed to dissipate into confusion. He looked more closely at Heero.

"Hey. I know that look. Oh my fucking... Are you turned on right now?"

"Yes."

Wufei put a hand over his eyes and muttered "Highly inappropriate, Yuy."

Duo let Wufei go, then released Heero and sat back.

"Not cool, babe. Save it for home. But for real, all this was just because you're jealous I picked Wufei?"

Heero nodded. Duo turned around to glare at Quatre.

"Hey, Winner! Did you know about this bet of theirs when you told me the rules changed and we couldn't pair up with our significant others anymore?"

Everyone turned sharply to Quatre. Wufei was standing slack jawed, Heero was staring up from the ground in shock, and Sally took one look at everyone and turned right around to go back to the refreshment stand. Trowa, meanwhile, felt betrayed. Quatre was supposed to rescue him, not turn out to be the culprit.

His blonde lover, on the other hand, seemed entirely innocent in a way no one bought.

"Of course not, Duo. The bet happened afterwards. I just thought it would be interesting to see what would happen. I had no way of knowing Trowa would overhear me confidently telling Sally in his presence that you'd pair with Wufei, nor that he'd make a bet about it, or that your two partners would fight so viciously over you. I definitely didn't arrange for Sally and I to be taken out of the game early to watch this ridiculous dynamic unfold. It certainly isn't more entertaining than an honest paintball game."

When chaos erupted again, and Heero and Wufei turned their anger towards Quatre, Trowa covered his ears. They were too loud. Too close. Too angry. And worst of all, Quatre was the cause.

He wasn't soothing him or making things better, like usual. He was relishing in the discord sewn. Likely retribution for some perceived slight against him. Heero and Wufei did have some unflattering remarks about a party Quatre threw a couple of weeks ago. Perhaps this was his way of getting payback.

In any case, he was definitely running away to the circus. At least the lions were quiet.