Disclaimer: The Among Us universe belongs to InnerSloth LLC and PlayEveryWare. This is a work of fanfiction and is not intended for profit or copyright infringement. I do not own the rights to Among Us or its setting/universe.

I have only a few seconds to process Del's reaction when the sound of a gunshot blasts through the air, making me scream. I drop to the floor on instinct, crawling on all fours as something heavy hits the floor on the other side of the table. I scramble over to Osiris and find him on his back, blank eyes staring, unseeing, at the ceiling, limbs splayed out. A single bullet hole trails from one temple to the other, blood trickling out of the wound. Another scream rips through my throat as I throw myself onto his chest, sobbing and pleading for him to come back.

"It shouldn't have been this way!" I groan, gripping the black fabric of his uniform in my fists. "Osiris...I'm so sorry...oh god..."

Tears run hot and fast down my face, dripping off my nose and onto his chest, quickly forming a small damp spot on the front of his uniform. I don't see Del but I sense him kneeling next to me.

The tears stop suddenly. The sobbing dies to a small choking noise until it's gone completely.

"Sage...I'm so sorry."

All it takes is these three words. The fire in my veins is back and this time I'm letting it burn until all of the rage I have locked inside explodes. I've been sitting on this anger for too long and it's time to let it out.

SMACK!

My fist hits Del straight in the nose. I feel something break beneath my fingers as a dull pain erupts in my knuckles. If I hadn't been running on so much adrenaline and anger maybe I would have started crying again, or even gasped in disbelief at what I'd done. But I don't. Instead, I feel a surge of savage pleasure at the look on Del's face as he fells backward with a surprised grunt, reaching up to touch the small trickle of blood dribbling from his nostril.

"You," I hiss, glaring at him as I try to pull Osiris's body out of reach. "You don't get to speak to me. You don't get to tell me anything. Not after what you've done!"

He looks shocked and genuinely hurt at my words.

"I don't -?"

"Oh don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!" Between my yelling and the constant blare of the alarm, my head throbs wildly. I ignore it, continuing to dig into him as much as I can. "Oh yes, you've been doing a great job hiding it, haven't you? I admit, I have to give credit where credit is due. But it's over now. Because of you almost our entire crew is dead and now Osiris is gone - all because you drove him to do this to himself. You did!"

I watch the battle as it plays out behind his eyes, trying to make sense of what I'm saying while also trying to come up with a believable lie. When he speaks again I'm frustrated to find that he is determined to continue playing dumb.

"Sage, I don't know what I did to hurt you, but whatever it was I'm so -"

"SHUT UP!" I scream. "Just...shut up! I don't want to hear any more of your lies. Haven't you hurt me enough? I'm tired of you pretending like your secret is still a secret. I...I know what you dare, Del."

The words come out in a rush, tumbling over each other as they leave my mouth. I gasp and inhale, shaking as I watch him carefully to gauge his reaction. It was a gamble, telling him. I know this. Once he realizes I know his secret he's either going to try and lie to me again or, more likely, he's going to kill me.

I don't like the look on his face at all. His nose is crooked and swollen but it does nothing to dampen the chill that runs through me at the expression on his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," I groan, leaning protectively over Osiris's body like I can still somehow save him from himself. "I overheard you talking to Lenna the other night. When you left I followed you out of concern. But instead of comforting you I heard..."

I can't finish. I don't need to. Del wipes the blood off his lip with the sleeve of his uniform and gingerly feels his nose. His frown of confusion flickers as the corner of his mouth quirks up in a nasty, knowing smile.

"And what am I, Sage?" His whisper is deadly.

My lip quivers but I force myself to maintain eye-contact. I will not look away. It's what he wants. I will be strong in the face of death. I am a professional. I will not let him get into my head like he did with Osiris.

"You're a monster."

"Come on, now. Surely you know me well enough to know that's not entirely true."

"I didn't want to believe it at first," I say, my voice hushed. "A part of me is still in denial. But I know what I heard. It was your blood I found on the floor that day - the blood that you claimed came from a weapons accident. You must have cut yourself when traveling through the vents in your alien form. Then you somehow killed Zale and Lenna killed Ebba and Kenzo. You're planning to kill me next."

With the strength I had no idea I still possessed, I let go of Osiris's body and slowly, shakily, stand. Del stands with me, slightly hunched as he leans against the table for support, his bleeding nose dripping freely onto the front of his uniform.

"So what are you waiting for?" I spread my arms out like I'm going to give him a hug. "Kill me."

Del laughs. Not his usual deep, comforting chuckle but a harsh grating sound like a metal shovel digging into gravel. "You know I'm not going to kill you, Sage."

"Why?" I snap, incredulous laughter bubbling in my throat. "Because you like me? You may have Lenna convinced I'm nothing but a distraction, but I can see deeper than that." I pour as much venom into my stare as I can, hoping it rips through his heart and into his soul. "Don't tell me...you love me?"

"I won't," he snarls, and I see with satisfaction that I've hit a sensitive spot. "You know, this hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me, either. I wasn't planning on falling for you, Sage. How do you suggest I should have handled it? Should I have suppressed my feelings and lived in misery? Should I have abandoned what I set out to do - what I vowed on the lives of my murdered parents that I would finish for them?"

"You should have done nothing!" I screech, scandalized. "If you weren't planning on falling for me then you should have come clean! You should have stopped what you were doing and -"

"And what? Died? Let Lenna kill me? Because that's what would have happened!"

"Better to die a martyr than a murderer!"

"And what do you know of martyrdom?"

"My grandfather died for his cause!" I choke out. "I know a lot more about it than you do! All you know is how to destroy and ruin lives. Look at what you did to him!" I gesture to Osiris's stiff body. "You practically grew up together! I don't care how many people you promised to avenge - you killed your best friend!"

"He did this to himself."

"You drove him to it! You and your lies and your awful promises and your sneaking around and your murder -"

"I get it!" he flares and I fall silent. "You may think you know the whole story but you don't. Until you know what really happened you don't get to judge me for what I've done! Your precious grandfather may have been a hero on your planet but on mine he was nothing but a mercenary. They pillaged our villages and burned out houses to the ground! Your grandfather was among those who tortured my parents for information. When they refused to talk they were slaughtered in front of me. I was five years old!"

I'm too angry to cry. Too incensed to feel any kind of sympathy for him. Instead I just stare at him, fists clenched, feeling betrayed and hurt and angry. I let my emotions wash over me, cleansing me of my desire to jump at Del and strangle him where he stands.

"You're lying," I whisper, only because I don't know what else I say. I don't actually believe he's lying. In fact, I'm convinced he's telling the truth. But I refuse to give him the pleasure of backing down from my accusations. "If you're so innocent and your actions are so justified, you'll have to do better than my parents were murdered!"

"What else is there?" He wipes at a fresh gout of blood trickling from his nose. A surge of intense pleasure at breaking it sings through me, mingled with the tiniest bit of guilt...

But only for a moment.

"I want you to tell me everything. All of it. From the moment you saw your parents die and your village destroyed to right now. That's the least you can do for me."

"I would," he says seriously, looking away from me - away from Osiris's body and the blood soaking into the carpet - and walking towards the door. "But we don't have time. Lenna is on the scent. She sabotaged the reactor core and she's lying in wait for Quill. There's no stopping her once she has her target. If you care about your brother and your own life, you'll put aside your pride and go help him."

He's right and I hate him for it. The desire to force Del to spill his guts about his past and his life is overridden by my desire to go back to Quill and stand up against Lenna. But what can I do? Despite all I've been through, I'm still nothing but a small, pale girl with skinny arms and a weak stomach. I've been betrayed and shunted and underestimated too many times. It's time for me to finally do some good for once.

Making sure Del's back is facing me, I bend down next to Osiris. His hand still tightly grips the hand of the gun. Hating myself, I pry the gun from his still-warm fist and hold it up to get a better look at it. It feels heavy and unnatural and cold. It taunts me, daring to pull the trigger.

As if I have the guts.

I place the gun in my pocket. "I'm sorry," I whisper to Osiris. I place a kiss on his forehead and close his eyelids.

The hallway outside Admin is deserted and Del is already gone. I know where he went - I saw his little yellow dot on the holographic table moving towards the Reactor room, where two additional yellow dots stand flickering next to each other.

Quill and Lenna.

The klaxon alarm continues to blare, more and more urgently with every passing second, pulsing red and angry. Shaking like a leaf, I run down the hall, not caring how much noise my feet make on the metal floors.

I sprint the familiar path back across the ship towards the Reactor room. I don't run into Del or Lenna along the way and my gut wrenches. At this point I'm not sure if Del would actually harm Quill after everything we've been through, but I wouldn't put it past Lenna. She's been a fabulous actress, that much is true. The bloodlust that exists in her veins is subtle when she wants it to be and overflows with power in the moment of the kill.

She's on the scent, Del said. Like a hound tracking a raccoon.

I skid to a halt in the entryway to the Reactor, taking in the scene before me. The reactor core continues to glow and beep angrily, drowned out by the screaming of the meltdown alarm. Crouched in the middle of the room is Lenna, only she's not Lenna.

Not anymore.

What I see is almost too terrifying for words. Nearly seven feet tall and hunched, she stands on two elongated back legs, toes lengthening to lethal-looking claws. Her arms are twice their normal length, narrowing at the wrists. Her hands are made of long spindly fingers and lethal nails. Her head is oddly stretched and warped, like I'm looking at her through a rain-washed window. Her jaw hangs open to reveal rows and rows of razor-sharp teeth. Her eyes are pitch black pools and her curls flare around her blood-splattered face like a halo. Long, whiplike protrusions flail in the air, erupting from her back like prehensile tails. I stand there, quailing in her presence, wondering how on earth I'm going to get out of this alive.

That's when I notice a smaller figure slumped on the ground at her feet - a figure wearing a lime green space uniform.

The green has been stained red.

I open my mouth to scream but instead of my own voice I hear an awful, spine-chilling rattling shriek that rips through the air, sending me reeling. It takes me a minute to realize the shriek cam from Lenna, who lunges at me. I stand rooted to the spot. In a split second she's upon me, long rubbery ropes of drool stringing between glistening teeth, dark eyes cold and unforgiving. She screeches again and lashes out at me with her claws. I duck just in time. Flat on my stomach, I panic, realizing I'm now prone on the ground in front of her. I close my eyes, praying for death to be quick...

There's a tremulous roar, deep and guttural, and another seven-foot figure launches itself out of the shadows at Lenna.

Del collides with her and the two of them go spiraling across the room, hitting the screens with a CRUNCH. Glass shatters and rains down on the floor. The noise coming from the two aliens as they struggle with each other is horrible. Shrieking and howling and snarling. The prehensile extensions wrap around Del and hold him tight as Lenna screams into his face, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, ending in a lethal-looking point. I don't sit around to watch the rest. Instead, I crawl across the glittering glass towards Quill's inert form.

Some people never forget the moment their whole life shatters. I remember the exact minute - the very second - I received the news of my grandfather's fate. I played it back on repeat for months, years. No pain would ever compare to what I felt then.

I was wrong.

Time slows down as I latch onto Quill's limp, bloodied body. All sound drains away as I throw myself onto his chest, ignoring the throbbing pain in my side and the glass digging into my knees, ignoring the screeches of the sparring aliens and the klaxon blare of the reactor core dying. I grp the back of Quill's head, my bloodied and bruised hands shaking as I wipe the congealed grime off his cheek. Someone is screaming. I realize it's me.

I don't know how long I sit there, mourning my brother. After a while I'm vaguely aware of the dark, hunched figure approaching slowly from my left.

I don't care anymore what happens to me. Quill is gone and it's all my fault. I sob over him, stroking his hair and rocking back and forth, howling and dripping snot and letting my vision run blurry.

"Come back!" I plead, gripping his hands and pressing them against my chest. "Please come back...come back to me..."

The shadow approaching me shrinks to the size of a human. From this angle I can't tell if it's Del or Lenna and I don't care. Death would be a welcome fate.

Then someone speaks and all of the sound comes rushing back.

"Kill her."

The voice is weak and broken and definitely female. It blink and look up at Del, peering through a waterfall streaming down my face. Lenna lies on the floor beneath the broken screens, her own body broken and bleeding even more profusely than Quill's. Even as I watch I see her claws shrink back to hands and feet, her prehensile protrusions slithering backwards into her spine, her arms and legs turning small and dainty once more. Her black clouded eyes fade to brown and her teeth shrink into their gums. She glares at Del, her expression hard. All of the strength has been sapped from her body. A gaping hole lies exposed in her side and she shakes with the effort of speaking.

"Kill her," she manages to rasp again, glaring at me with so much hate I feel my bones melt. "Finish the job!"

I look up at Del to find him halfway between his human and alien form. His limbs are normal length but his eyes are still black and void of light. The lethal protrusions jutting from his back flail wildly. His teeth are elongated and pointy but there's not as many of them. His skin is smooth and unblemished, apart from the blood and viscera coating the left side of his body. How he managed to get the upper hand over Lenna, I have no idea. But she's dying and she knows it. Del knows it. He looks from Lenna over to me, holding on to Quill's body like a lifeline.

"It's time to end this," he say. I close my eyes, waiting for the final blow.

There's a crack of a whip and a gurgling scream. I feel nothing. I open my eyes to find Del's prehensile appendage cutting straight through Lenna's heart. He lifts her into the air and slams her against the broken screen of the reactor, again and again and again until she succumbs to death. He releases her. Her body - now fully human - falls broken to the floor like a ragdoll. She's covered in so much blood I don't recognize her.

Tears still cutting wet tracks down my cheeks, I turn to look at Del. It's just the two of us now. If he chooses to kill me I'm completely defenseless against him. I look into his face, once filled with so much tenderness before kissing me. Now there's nothing. His countenance is slack and void of all emotion. He's human again but a darkness lingers in his eyes. I look back down at Quill and press my forehead against his, squeezing out more tears. Del's presence weighs heavily on me and I expect him to say or do something but he doesn't. He simply stands there, watching me mourn Quill. At this moment I realize that the klaxon blare of the dying reactor core has subsided and the flashing red lights are gone. Somehow, Del found a way to neutralize the reactor and save my life.

"It s-shouldn't have h-happened this w-way," I eventually choke out. "N-nothing should have h-happened this way...Not the d-destruction of your home, not m-my grandfather's d-death...n-not th-this mission..." I look back at Del, who stares at me. I think I see a flicker of something in his dark eyes. Sympathy? Regret? But it's gone almost as quickly as it came. "I'm s-sorry," I whisper. "I'm s-sorry about y-your parents and y-your village and e-everything that d-drove you to do wh-what you've done..."

"Apologies won't change anything." His voice is still deep but has taken on a gravelly quality, rumbling like concrete scraping against concrete. "Our fates have been determined."

He's right. Apologies will do nothing. Nothing can change the reality of our situation. I finally release Quill, who slumps to the floor, and stand shakily to face Del. Something around him emanates power. His mis-matched eyes follow me carefully as I stumble towards him and reach out for his hand. He doesn't resists as I lace my fingers with his. His hands are unnaturally cold. I step closer to close the gap between us and rest my head against his shoulder. His body tenses I sniffle into the fabric of his uniform and say quietly, "Kill me."

He doesn't move. Didn't he hear me? Anger flares hot and white through my chest and I grip the collar of his uniform, shaking him. "Kill me!" I say again, much louder. "Why won't you kill me, dammit! You said you would be ready when the time comes! There's no better time than now - do what Lenna said and finish the job!"

Del's fingers wrench my hands away and he pulls back, making me stumble. He creates distance between us again and looks into my eyes, unblinking.

"I already told you, Sage. I'm not going to kill you."

"Then you're a liar as well as a murderer!" I shriek, shoving him in the chest. My skinny arms and thin hands make very little impact. "Don't you see there's nothing left for me now? Everyone I love is dead! My career is ruined, I failed to carry out my grandfather's legacy, and there's nothing but destruction ahead of me! And what about you? Your family is gone, you murdered your own partner in cold blood, you betrayed me and used me, and you're adrift in the cold vacuum of space with nowhere to go but your desolate little planet! What do you have left to live for, Del?"

"What do you suggest I do?" he asks quietly. "Kill you and then myself, like Osiris? What is that going to solve? If dying was the only option I would have done it a long time ago."

"Then you should be dead," I say hollowly. "Just like I should be. You said it yourself - our fates have been decided. By joining this crew I signed my life away to you, destined to die at your hands. Why won't you kill me? You've killed so easily before. If you won't do it then I will!"

I feel the cold heavy weight of Osiris's gun resting against my thigh and reach into my pocket for it. Del's eyes lock onto the movement and his arm lashes out, clamping onto my wrist. I twist away from him and knee him in the gut, forcing him to release me. I grip the pistol and run several paces away before he can grapple me again. I've never used a firearm in my life, but I somehow know how to cock it to prepare the bullet that I will use to end my life.

I have it halfway up to my head when, faster than blinking, Del lunges and slams into me, sending the gun flying out of my had and spiraling across the room. My breath leaves my lungs and I gasp, struggling to breathe. The gun hits the reactor core and breaks upon impact, sending the different pieces skidding across the glass-strewn floor. I wheeze and collapse to a knee, clutching my chest as I flounder for air. I crawl on my hands and knees towards the pieces of the gun, hoping I might somehow be able to re-connect them and finally collapse into death's warm embrace, but another heavy blow connects with my side and I fall onto my back, staring up at the wires crisscrossing along the ceiling.

That's when I feel something sharp digging into my palm. It's about the size of my hand and when I pick it up I see it's a large, jagged pieces of broken glass. It'll do. Arms shaking, I raise the glass shard to my wrist. The edge of the glass barely breaks the skin when Del's face enters my vision. The heaviest impact yet connects with the side of my head. The last thing I remember before it all fades to black is the sadness twisting Del's face, tears running freely down his cheeks.

It's the beeping that wakes me. It worms its way into my brain and drags me back to consciousness like an annoying fly buzzing around my head. I try to swat at it but my arms don't move. How strange. I try to lift my arms again but some unseen force holds them down. I try to move my legs, only to find them similarly frozen. I begin to panic. Am I paralyzed?

Eventually I crack open an eye, only to be met with nothing but a blinding white light. I'm dead, I realize with relief. Finally...

But the beeping is still there. Is there usually beeping when you're dead? It's so annoying. I struggle against the invisible force holding me down. I strain against it, feeling a slight give around my wrists and ankles but not enough to break free. I grunt in frustration, twisting this way and that, trying and failing to move more than an inch in any direction.

Then there's a voice.

"Don't try to fight it, Sage."

I know that voice. I once found great comfort in that voice. But if he's here, then that means...I'm not dead after all.

A wave of anger and disappointment crashes over me and I stop struggling at once. I find that I'm able to move my head freely. I look over at the direction of the voice and realize two things at the same time. First, I'm currently at the helm of the ship in Navigation, where the blinking lights and beeping consoles of the control panels dazzle me. Second, Del sits in the chair that once belonged to Lieutenant Zale, his broad-shouldered frame silhouetted against the windows that look out over the vast expanse of dark space. As for me, I appear to be lying on some sort of table, strapped tightly to its surface with zero forgiveness no matter how much I struggle.

Guilt and despair surge through me as the memories rush back. I left Quill all alone. He's dead and it's my fault. Then I think about my attempt to kill myself right before Del knocked me out.

Del knocked me out...

"Don't take a single step closer!" I hiss at him, straining against my bonds, my body convulsing as he approaches the table. "How dare you! You've got some nerve, facing me after -"

"I saved your life," he says sharply. "I believe you should be thanking me."

"Thanking you!" I laugh harshly and barely resist the urge to spit at him. "After everything you've done? You should be dead - and so should I!"

"Yet here we are." He crosses his arms and regards me carefully. Calmly. Why is he acting to calm? "I had to make sure we both survived this - not only because I promised I would, but also because I owe you an explanation. Unless, of course, you're no longer interested in knowing my story?"

I stop thrashing, hesitation flaring through my mind. Curiosity about Del's life and childhood burns through me and I long to know more, but I loathe to give him the satisfaction of expressing my interest in him.

"I thought I knew who I was," he says quietly, apparently taking my silence as permission to begin. "I thought I knew what I wanted from life. I was so sure of my path. My parents were supportive of me up until the very end. They were slaughtered by George Korbel after they refused to give up information about the Polusian's secret transformation abilities. After their death and the subsequent destruction of my home I was sent to live with the village Chief, along with the other Polusian children who lost everything at the hands of the pillaging monsters from Earth. I wasn't a very social child - I was strange, even by Polusian standards - and it was difficult for me to make friends. When I met Lenna, all of that changed. We grew up together, she and I. Her charm was a force to be reckoned with and we soon became the best of friends - nearly siblings. Our Chief brought us up to be killers of stealth and precision. We never had a normal childhood. Most of my teenage years and young adulthood was spent on Earth, training in a military setting to disguise what I already knew about combat and assassination. I spent years on your planet training. Years. Then, when the time came to launch another mission to Polus, Lenna and I knew our time had come to take back what was ours - to avenge everything we lost."

He pauses to draw breath and give me a chance to say something. I don't give him the pleasure. I just stare blankly at him, jaw clenched, fists in tight balls at my side as I wait for him to continue. Before he does he takes a bold step closer and pulls up a chair so he sits level with my face.

"It was so easy at first," he whispers, expression drawn and tight. "It was so simple - ingenious, really. Sneak onto the ship under the guise of being two devoted crew members. Befriend people and lull them into a false sense of security, then, when the time was right, finally strike. We had to be careful about it, of course. Methodical. We studied the ship from front to back, inside and out, so we knew the inner workings and how to sabotage when needed. We couldn't kill indiscriminately. We had to take out the people with the most power and influence first. Warrick was the obvious choice. After him, we made sure our manner of killing was different every time. The goal was to confuse and scare - to plant seeds of suspicion and doubt and to keep everyone on the ship guessing. We took turns, of course, to keep our alibis strong and our paths clear. It's exhausting, transforming for long periods of time. It really takes a toll on our bodies.

"Things ran smoothly at first. It was so easy to act innocent, especially with emotions running high and people looking to me as a source of protection and comfort. It was a fine line, knowing how close to get to someone without erring on the side of vulnerability. I have a cold heart, Sage. Lenna had no heart at all. I wasn't worried about succumbing to emotional weakness. This is what we trained for, after all. Sneaking around, sabotaging, killing swiftly and silently, pitting people against each other. I'm a professional - I'm very good at what I do." His eyes adopt a glassy quality as his gaze shifts to an empty spot next to my head.

"Then, quite suddenly, I wasn't. Something happened that I wasn't prepared for. I was so caught up in my mission I failed to protect the vulnerable part of my heart. It was this failure that allowed you to break down my walls and worm your way into my life. You made a home in my mind and stayed there, festering like a fungus until I had no choice but to pay attention to you. You breached my defenses, and no matter how hard I tried to expel you and build them back up, the opposite happened. I became comfortable around you. Complacent. The idea of you was intoxicating and I began to think about how things might have been different if I were to choose love instead of hate.

"Lenna, of course, saw right through me. She cottoned on immediately and kept an annoyingly close watch on me after that. We still had a mission to do. We couldn't just stop what we started. She spent a lot of time threatening to flay me within an inch of my life if I let you get in the way of our revenge." I watch Del as he cries. "I can't imagine what you must think of me. I may be a fool for you, but I'm not fool enough to believe I can still have you. I ruined your life. It's my fault everyone you love is dead. I can't offer anything to make up for the pain and destruction I caused, but the least I can do is protect you from yourself. You wish you were dead, but that's not going to right any wrongs. I made you a promise that you wouldn't die on this ship, and I intend to keep it, regardless of how you feel about me. I've been carrying a lot of anger in my heart. My thirst for revenge is insatiable, even now, after slaughtering an entire crew. I still yearn to destroy everything your grandfather once held dear. Everything, that is, except for you.

"We're days away from Polus now. They're expecting me and Lenna to show up victorious and the sole survivors left on the ship. When we arrive I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do. Lenna is dead and one of our quarry is still alive. If you think I'm cold and unforgiving, it's nothing compared to the village Chief. She'll have your hide the moment she sees you. But I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to sneak you into our base of operations. You and Quill both."

"And why do you care about Quill?" I choke out, a fresh wave of despair settling over me at the thought of my brother's lifeless body.

"I don't care for him like I do for you, but I know how much he means to you. Lenna killed him but that doesn't mean it's over for him. I have his body in Medbay, preserved long enough to keep him stable until we reach Polus. We have incredible healers on my planet. Some call them shamans. If a body has been dead for a certain amount of time there's a possibility it can be brought back. It takes time, mind you. And extensive resources. But it can be done - I've seen it before."

"Don't be ridiculous," I tell him, looking away. "No one can bring someone back from the dead. And even if they could, why would any of the healers in your village care to waste their energy on a human?"

"Polusians may be enemies of MIRA but they're not all bad," he says quietly. "Some of them will understand. My aunt is a healer. She was one of the few Polusians who banded together to protest our mission to sabotage Polus II. The Chief stamped them down, of course. She and her band of renegades live in a secluded base away from the rest of the villages. That's where we're going when we land. We will want to draw as little attention to ourselves as possible."

"And what about me? What's going to happen when you bring a human into their midst?"

"I'm going to present you as a prisoner of warm" Del replies, like it's the most reasonable thing in the world. "There's no point in trying to disguise you or hide you from my aunt - she can sniff out a human for miles. But if I can sneak you past the Chief you'll be able to hide away in the secluded base until we can figure out what to do."

"And when she asks why you didn't kill me?"

Del pauses, a curious expression playing across his face. A small, sad smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. "I can tell her whatever I want. No matter what, she's going to see straight through me. No point in telling her anything but the truth."

"I bet that'll go down well," I snort. "A Polusian in love with a human."

"It's not unheard of. It's happened before. My aunt herself was in love with a human once, a long time ago."

"Right."

"I'm serious."

"Okay, sure. Let's pretend you are. How well did that turn out for her?"

"It didn't at all. The village Chief found out and slaughtered him on the spot. Ever since then she's sworn vengeance and isolated herself from the village. She hates humans because they're a reminder of what she couldn't have."

"Okay, so let's get this straight. You can't lie to your aunt about your feelings for me, which is the one thing that will spare me because she loved a human once, too. At the same time, my mere existence is a reminder of her pain and so the sight of me is enough to kill me. So what's keeping me alive?"

"You are," Del says, averting his gaze. Something like pain flashes briefly across his face but it doesn't leave his eyes. "I might be in love with you, but you've made it perfectly clear that you don't feel the same way."

You don't know how I feel, I'm tempted to blurt out. I hold my tongue. Not for the first time, I think about how complicated my feelings are for Del - now made even more complicated by the fact that he killed half the crew. What did I feel for him? Was I ever in love with him, even a little? It seems ludicrous, given how little time we've spent together. I try to measure how I feel about him at this moment, but my feelings are a kaleidoscope. Anger is the strongest.

Then why do I want to reach out and kiss him?

I shake the feeling away, tossing it out like garbage. I can't think like that. Not anymore. I'm a professional who made a fatal mistake by letting her emotions get in the way.

It's not a mistake I'm going to make again.

"I'm so sorry, Sage," Del says thickly through tears as he watches me trying to process. "I can't control how I feel, but I should never have acted on my feelings."

"We've...both done things we regret," I say slowly, closing my eyes because it's too painful to look directly into his. "You more than I, perhaps, but that doesn't mean I'm innocent in all of this. It's true that I never should have kissed you. I knew better than that. It's also true that whatever we once had can't go on."

The words shatter my heart as they leave my mouth and I find myself wondering why I even care. He's a murderer and a liar. He used me and played with my heart. Sure, he has a tragic past, but don't we all? I should loathe him with every fiber of my being, and I hate myself for feeling confused.

He nods, looking more lost and vulnerable than I've ever seen him. "I assumed as much. I know you're furious with me, and I don't blame you. I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me. As soon as we get to Polus I'm leaving my old lifestyle behind me and I'm going to work as hard as I can to atone for my wrongs. The first step is to bring Quill back to you."

I still don't see how it's possible. Lenna cleaved through Quill's chest with her claws, leaving gaping wounds. He bled out. It was all over the floor in the Reactor room. Surely, even the shamans on Polus can't summon enough science to undo something so final.

Del is the last person I should be trusting, but right now he's the only person I can trust.

"You say it happened before?" I whisper. Del lifts his head and pierces me with his blue-brown eyes, squeezing my heart painfully.

"It happens every once in a while. Under the right circumstances, and with the right tools, the healers on Polus can contact a soul and realign it with its old body, effectively bringing it back. There are cases where the person isn't exactly...the same. Sometimes a few personality traits or preferences are different, and they might have some amnesia, but otherwise they're the same. It's also extremely expensive - it requires a pure diamond the size of a human heart. It also relies on the soul being cooperative. Many times after a person dies their soul is content with the afterlife and refuses to return. In this case, it's nearly impossible to bring them back. If there's a soul that has unfinished business or died abruptly or early or still has connections with someone alive then it's a lot easier to reconnect it with its body."

"Quill wasn't ready to die." Even as the words come out of my mouth I doubt them. Did I really know what Quill wanted? I assumed he was happy with living, but after everything that's happened perhaps he thought as I did and welcomed Death with open arms?

"I suppose we'll find out, if you're willing to try."

"We'll try," I say. "That is, if your aunt is willing to do it. She hates humans, after all."

"She won't like it but the word of the healers overrides her own. She may be the face of her little inner circle, but they're the true leaders. If they decide to perform the ritual she'll have no say otherwise."

So the fate of my life and Quill's potential new life lies in the hands of a dangerous Polusian woman I've never met. It's so easy to make the sweeping generalization that all Polusians are violent and evil like Lenna, but that would be the equivalent of saying all humans are bloodthirsty mercenaries. There was clearly a time when Del thought this to be true, and look where it led him. I have no desire to end up like him and that's why I decide to embrace the idea that there are some Polusians, like these healers, who view all life as sacred and worth saving. Something happened that made Del realize this in his own heart, and now he's working towards making things better.

Or so he says.

"Please..." I strain against my bindings. "Let me go."

"Are you going to kill yourself?"

"No."

He raises an eyebrow.

"I promise."

"Fine. But you're not going anywhere without me."

I nod. It's a fair enough tradeoff. Now that the adrenaline of the encounter in the Reactor room has worn off, I don't feel as intense about dying as I did before. There's still a giant, aching hole in my heart after losing Quill and I still feel hollow at the thought of never seeing him smile at me again. But I have to admit, my curiosity has been piqued after hearing about Polus. I came into space seeking answers. The least I can do is stay alive so I can encounter the mysteries of the planet and find the answers that my grandfather and Dr. Barnett failed to discover.

Del works at the bindings holding my ankles and wrists and they release. I sit up on the table and rub at a kink in my neck. I suddenly feel very awkward and have a hard time looking Del in the eye.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"Don't make me regret it."

I shake my head and slide off the table, my bare feet hitting cold metal. I gaze around Navigation, taking in the large control panel that wraps around the room, the numerous rolling black chairs, and, grandest of all, the floor-to-ceiling curved window that allows a clear view of the endless expanse of space. This far away from Earth there's not much to see. The air has been getting steadily colder the closer we get to Polus and I shiver, wishing I was wearing my socks. I step closer to the window and collapse into a chair sitting in front of the main navigation panel. Del doesn't try to stop me. Instead, he sits in the chair next to me and we process in silence, staring at the blackness dotted with stars.

I don't know what's waiting for me on Polus, but it must be better than what I've left behind.

The End.