John Phoenix was out late one night skulking around like he owned the city. Because he did. He crossed the street when suddenly some headlights shone on him!

He turned and saw a car barreling towards him at exactly 88 miles per hour! Not even John Phoenix could've dodged it as it rammed into him! John Phoenix got stuck to the car and it pushed him along too at 88 miles per hour before finally stopping in an unfamiliar place and time.

John Phoenix pulled the driver out of his seat.

"Holy shit are you okay?" said the guy. John Phoenix took his driver's license, his name was Marty McFly and so John Phoenix gave him a fine for reckless driving.

"But I wasn't driving reckless!" said Marty. "I was escaping from terrorists so I used the Delorean to time travel to the 1950s."

"Okay."

John Phoenix got into the Delorean to use it again but the engine was broken because John Phoenix's body destroyed it so they needed a new one.

So John Phoenix and Marty went to Doc Brown's house.

"Great Scott, John Phoenix! Yes, yes, I understand your situation completely. I'll build a new time machine by tomorrow," said Doc.

John Phoenix and Marty decided to turn in for the night. They found a house belonging to Marty's mother Lorraine and she let them stay there.

Lorraine then sat next to Marty and said "hey sleep with me sexy."

"STOP BEING INCESTUOUS!" yelled John Phoenix and he threw her into jail for being incestuous.

The next day...

John Phoenix went back to Doc's house to see if the new time machine was done.

But the new time machine was not done, because Doc had been MURDERED!

"GREAT SCOTTTTTT!" yelled John Phoenix and he called the police.

The police came and arrested Marty! But John Phoenix knew it couldn't be him because he had an alibi. Thus, he would be his legal counsel in his trial.

John Phoenix investigated the corpse and found out he was stabbed.

Courtroom.

"Court is in session for the trial of Marty McFly."

The defense was John Phoenix.

The prosecution was George McFly!

"Why are you doing this Dad!" said Marty.

"I'm sorry I have no choice!" cried the wimpy, pathetic George who had bruises on his face. "Marty killed Doc and I have a witness who can prove it!"

Biff Tannen came to testify.

"I went to Doc's house cause I was sick and the Doc's who ya go to when you're sick. But then I got even sicker cause I saw that slacker there and he murdered Doc with a gun!"

"OBJECTION DUMBASS!" shouted John Phoenix. "Doc Brown wasn't killed with a gun he was killed with a KNIFE!"

"Oh nooooo!" George wept.

"This means!" said John Phoenix. "That Biff Tannen is an UNRELIABLE WITNESS!"

"No!" said Biff. "What're you standing around looking pretty for McFly, raise an objection like I told you to, punk!"

George stopped crying.

"No Biff, today's the day I stop letting you bully me around!" said George.

"You little shit!" said Biff.

"Okay John Phoenix's argument is sustained!" said the judge. "But now we'll never know who killed Doc Brown."

But then John Phoenix had an idea. He looked closer at the crime scene and noticed there was a machine next to Doc's corpse.

"Wait a second!" said Marty and he tried turning it on. "Oh shit! Doc managed to finish the time machine before he was killed!"

"This is his final gift to us, the final piece of evidence that will identify the culprit," said John Phoenix.

John Phoenix went to the past to the moment Doc was murdered and the court watched the murder happen.

The murderer was BIFF TANNEN!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Biff. "I'LL GET YOU YOU LITTLE PUNK!"

Biff got arrested.

"Thanks for solving Doc's murder John Phoenix," said Marty.

"Yes thank you too young man," said Doc's corpse.

"DOC YOU'RE ALIVE?" said Marty. Doc revealed he was wearing a bladeproof vest and everyone laughed.

John Phoenix returned to the present.