Alexandra Potter
Chapter Twelve: Revenge is Not a Dish
Scene 5/5
Alex woke in her own bed. She sat up, disoriented, to find the dorm empty.What's going on?Her thoughts went immediately to Daphne, her mind filling with the image of blood soaked sheets. She could still smell it - the metallic tang that couldn't be ignored.
Her stomach trembled and Alex ran to the bathroom. The moment she entered the stall she hurled, her empty stomach wrenching as it tried to turn Alex inside out.
Oh god. It went so wrong. I never meant for... that. For Daphne to -
Alex shook her head, refusing to think like that.She'll be fine. She has to be. Snape was there - he'll have helped her. She cleaned herself up and headed over to the mirror. Whoever had taken her back to Hufflepuff had fixed her up: though pale, her face was clean, her head clear. The pain in her scar was just a memory.
What was that all about, anyway?Her scar had never been anything other than a mark on her skin - until last night. Untilhehad come. Alex's stomach flipped again, this time in fear.What's going to happen to me? Where's everyone else?
It wasn't until she dressed that she realised her wand was missing. She searched for it everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found. She checked her watch: almost eight o'clock. Breakfast would be almost over.
The Great Hall - already full - burst into whispers as she entered. Everyone was looking at her, and not in a good way. She'd never been popular with the Slytherins, but the looks of venom they sent her now made her want to run away. And it wasn't just her own year - the seventh years were whispering too, staring at her with calculating eyes.
Alex looked around - Draco wasn't there. Working on automatic, she walked over to the Hufflepuff table and went to take the first seat - next to Hannah.
"That seat's taken," she said, placing an arm across it so Alex couldn't sit.
"Piss off, Potter!" shouted a voice down the table - a boy; Alex didn't recognise his voice. She glanced towards Peter, the prefect, but the older boy's face was stony.
"Move along, Potter," he said, waving her down the table.
Alex didn't protest. She wandered down the table until she found Lily. She was silent as Alex sat, watching her with wide eyes. Her stomach still roiling, Alex didn't eat anything. She wasn't even sure why she'd come to breakfast. At last, Lily spoke.
"Is it true?" she whispered, pouring Alex some orange juice. Alex didn't touch it.
"Is-" Alex croaked, and she cleared her throat. "Is what true?"
"People are saying... they're saying youkilledDaphne," said Lily, glancing sideways at those around them.
What hope Alex held onto seemed to plummet from her stomach to her bladder. It was good she was sitting down, because had she been standing she surely would have fallen.
"Daphne's dead?" Alex said, her voice barely a whimper, but Lily heard.
"Well, the teachers aren't saying anything," said Lily, "but Susan heard it from Sophie who heard it from Pansy."
Alex went straight from breakfast to Potions, walking in a daze. Some part of her remembered they had a test today, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Daphne was dead. She arrived at Potions to see her classmates gathered around the heavy oak door, where a piece of parchment had been stuck up.
CLASS CANCELLED. RETURN TO YOUR COMMON ROOMS AND PREPARE FOR THE TEST.
"There she is!" someone said, and they turned to face her as one. Alex noticed Sophie Roper at the back of the crowd, her eyes red and puffy. She looked almost as bad as Alex did. Astrid was there too, watching Alex with narrow eyes.Probably wondering if I'll get her in trouble too.
"Sophie -" Alex began.
"Don't youdaretalk to her!" said Mandy, stepping between them. She was a big girl in every sense of the word, with a round face and frizzy blonde hair. "Not after you did!"
"I-"
"You've not got long, Potter," Mandy said, glancing at the crowd behind her for confidence. "You'll be expelled for this."
Alex wanted to throw up again - Mandy was right. They knew she did it. She should've been expelled already - what were they waiting for? She wasn't going to waste the time she had.
"Sophie?" she repeated, trying to look past Mandy, "can we talk?" She had no idea what she wanted to say to her. She just felt it was important to say something - anything. To say sorry.
Sophie stepped forward, and Mandy stepped out of the way. They stared at each other for just a moment. "You should go," said Sophie, looking down at her shoes.
Tears welled up in Alex's eyes and she turned to hide them. "Okay," she said, and wiped her face dry again.I can't even apologise, now. She left Potions but didn't return to Hufflepuff, as the sign instructed. She went to the library instead - to the deepest, darkest corner of it, where no one could find her - and sat on the floor, her back against a bookcase.
She was going to be expelled. She was certain of it. She was going to be expelled and thrown out of her home, forced to return to the Dursleys. Forced to live as a Muggle, her wand broken. Worst of all, Alex knew she couldn't argue against it. It was all true: she had killed Daphne. It was all her fault. There wasn't anything to hide behind, this time. No excuses, no "they started it", no "it was her own fault". It was all on her.
Alex didn't leave the library until lunch, heading towards the Great Hall out of habit. She wasn't hungry, but for some reason she had been left to wander free.When will they expel me?she wondered, and then she saw him -Draco!He was crossing the small courtyard, alone. It looked like he was coming from the East Wing, not Slytherin.Strange.
"Draco!" she shouted, making him jump - the courtyard was empty. Everyone was probably already at lunch. Draco turned to face her, and Alex knew something was wrong. His eyes were red, his hair messy, and his robed were rumpled.
"Alexandra," he said, and when Alex went to hug him he stepped back. Alex's heart sunk.Not him too. She'd thought - hoped - that of all of Hogwarts, maybe Draco wouldn't judge her. Would tell her everything would be okay.
"Draco, what's wrong?" said Alex.
"What's wrong?" said Draco, his voice shrill. "I've just been questioned - by the Aurors! Me! All because of you! You told me it was safe!"
"I thought it was," said Alex, some small fire of defiance still burning deep down. There was no way she was going to let him blame her foreverything. He'd been a part of it too.
"Well, it wasn't!" said Draco, throwing his arms up, and he began to pace. "You told me it was safe, and I believed you. I helped you to - to dothatto Daphne." He stopped pacing, and turned to face her. "You tricked me," he said, quietly, "you used me."
"No, Draco, it's not like that," pleaded Alex, reaching for his hand.
"Get your filthy hands off me!" Draco shrieked, slapping her hand away. "Father says I should be checked for love potions," he said, drawing himself up. "It's the only explanation for why I would ever have been with you."
For the fourth time in one day, Alex began to cry. "Draco, what're you saying?" she said, "you don't mean this..."
"I do," said Draco. "We're done. Don't come near me again."
He walked off. Alex watched him go, stunned. Everything was falling to pieces around her. Her whole life was crumbling down.
It was only fair. She had taken Daphne's life. Now she would pay with hers. She suddenly knew she couldn't face the Great Hall again. She wandered over to one of the benches and sat, staring at the fountain at the centre of the courtyard.
I wish... I wish Mum and Dad were here.
It had been a long time since Alex had wished for her parents - she'd given up such dreams a long time ago. They weren't coming back. She had to look after herself now. She had no family, and in that moment she felt it keenly. There was no one who would accept her come what may. There was no one should could turn to.
A door slammed, and Professor Sprout walked into the courtyard. She moved briskly over to Alex's bench, her face strangely solemn.
"Professor Dumbledore will see you now," she said.
She led Alex through the school like a prisoner to be executed. Alex didn't resist, but nor did she go eagerly, each step heavy. The walk to Professor Dumbledore's office was all too short.
"Up you go," said Sprout, giving the password, and the gargoyle took her up.
She raised her hand to knock on the door, but it swung open before she could. The office was unchanged since their dinners. A large fire filled the room with warm light, and Dumbledore sat tall, throned behind his mighty desk. Her wand was resting before him, and a roll of parchment. He was not smiling, and there was no twinkle in his eye.
Alex looked down the moment she met his eyes. She couldn't stand to be seen by him thus. Shame filled her - she had let him down. She shuffled over to the seat opposite Dumbledore, and waited.
Silence stretched out, and finally she looked up.
Dumbledore's face was grim. And yet, he didn't look angry. It was worse. He looked upon her with sadness. With pity. At last he spoke.
"Daphne Greengrass is in St. Mungo's spell damage ward. It is not yet certain if she will live. Tell me why you have done this thing."
Alex looked to her shoes, her throat dry. How could she explain it?
"I don't know where to start," she mumbled, still looking at her shoes.
"Then start at the beginning," he said, his voice lacking its characteristic warmth. "And look at me when you do so."
With a great force of will, Alex looked up and met his piercing blue eyes. It felt like her entire soul was bare to him. And then she told him. She told him of Daphne's prank, of her plans for revenge, of the Restricted section. She told him about practicing somniamancy, of recruiting Draco into her plan. Throughout it all he sat unmoving, his hands folded on top of the desk, a perfect audience.
"And then she came to me after Charms, and said she had my cloak," Alex continued, a great weight seeming to lift from her as she told the story. "So I-"
"Wait," said Dumbledore, moving for the first time. If Alex didn't know better, she'd think he looked alarmed. "Miss Greengrass is in possession of your father's cloak?"
"Yes," said Alex, wondering whythis, of everything she had said, had made him interrupt. He flicked his wrist and a wand appeared in his hand. For a brief, terrible moment, Alex shied back, thinking he was to use it on her, but it merely produced a flash of silver light, rushing into one of the walls quicker than she could follow.
"Very well," said Dumbledore, sitting back. "Continue."
After that the story didn't take long. She recounted her trip into the dream world, her invasion of Daphne's dreams, of how she had confronted Daphne, before the nightmare took the form of Voldemort.
"You say your scar hurt?" said Dumbledore, his wand appearing once more. He stood, walked around the desk, and moved his wand around her face. "Did it still hurt when you awoke?"
"Yes," said Alex, wondering what it meant, "and it was bleeding."
"Indeed?" he said, and Alex thought she heard something of the man she knew there. "I presume you woke up after Voldemort cursed you?"
"Yes," said Alex, "the curse, I'd never heard of it before..."
"You wouldn't have," said Dumbledore, sitting back down. "Or at least, I should hope not. It appears I have been remiss... I apologise."
Alex gaped.Hewas apologising toher?
"Yes, Alex," he said, nodding at her expression. "I am ultimately responsible for all that occurs within this castle. I apologise. I should have reined you in sooner."
Alex frowned. "What do you mean, sir?" she said, confused. This conversation was not what she expected.
"Do not think me blind, Alex," said Dumbledore, "I know much of your activities over the past months. I have watched with dismay the way you have treated Miss Granger, and Miss Greengrass. Youmustunderstand the seriousness of your actions."
"I do, sir," said Alex.
Dumbledore sighed. "I'm afraid you do not," he said, and he pulled a large binder from a drawer. "This folder contains every assignment you have written, every test you have taken, every report on your progress by your teachers." He leafed through it casually. "It is quite the read. Such performance has few equals in the history of this school."
Alex nodded, wondering where he was going.
"You are intelligent, Alex, and talented. And yet you lack that most vital of qualities: sound moral judgement." He paused. "In that matter you are not so different from your peers. However, to combine it with such talent... look at me, Alex."
Alex looked up again, meeting his eyes.
"I shallnotpermit the rise of another Voldemort," he said, and there was a harshness to his voice that was completely unfamiliar. Alex swallowed.
"I'm not like him," she said, quietly. She wasn't so sure of it herself.When had Voldemort killed his first victim?
"No, you are not," said Dumbledore, and he leaned back, his voice back to normal. "And for that I am most thankful. But you must be careful, Alex, very careful. It is a delicate line you walk. That we walk." He looked back down to the roll of parchment on his desk. "On this occasion, you have crossed that line severely. Punishment is in order."
Alex swallowed again, and her stomach wobbled dangerously.Here it comes.
"This," said Dumbledore, taking up the scroll, "is the order, signed by the Board of Governors, for your expulsion from Hogwarts."
Alex blinked rapidly, trying to at least keep her dignity, when Dumbledore clicked his fingers. A ball of flame consumed the scroll in less than a second.
"What...?"
"Having heard your testimony, I have deemed your expulsion premature," said Dumbledore, and, though he wasn't smiling, some measure of warmth returned to his voice. "You are not beyond redemption, Alex, not yet. In seeking to correct your mistake last night, knowing that you would face punishment, you have demonstrated your remorse. And, while you have clearly displayed appalling judgement, the involvement of Voldemort cannot be ignored."
Alex couldn't help it - she smiled.I'm not going to be expelled!Mortified, she tried to hide it, but she couldn't stop the wave of relief that washed through her. It was like she could suddenly breathe again. "Thank you, sir," she said, but Dumbledore held up his finger.
"However," he said, pulling a parchment from his desk drawer. "A crime of this magnitude cannot go unpunished. I am suspending you from Hogwarts, so that you may reflect on your wrongdoings and - hopefully - learn from them."
The feeling of relief faded. She would have to go back to the Dursleys. And then she would have to return to school in shame.Better than expulsion, though.
"How long will I be suspended for, sir?" she asked. A week was standard.
"Indefinitely," said Dumbledore, scribbling on the parchment without looking up.
Alex blinked. That was as good as expulsion! "But, sir, I thought-"
"Unfortunately, Alex, this is out of my hands," he said, and he stood up, finished with the parchment. He walked over to the fireplace. He looked back at her not unkindly. "You are going to have to learn the hard way, I'm afraid: actions have consequences."
He tossed a handful of powder into the fire and it turned green. A black man stepped through, wearing scarlet robes. While not as tall as the Headmaster, he was still big, and broad shouldered. Everything about him screamed strength and authority, from the confidence of his step to the way he shook hands.
"Dumbledore," the man said, his voice a deep baritone.
"Auror Shacklebolt," said Dumbledore, and Alex stiffened in her seat.What's going on?"Welcome to Hogwarts. I trust that you will handle this with all due delicacy."
Shacklebolt nodded, and turned to Alex.
"Alexandra Alice Potter," he said, stepping forward. "By the authority of the Ministry of Magic, I am placing you under arrest."