Alexandra Potter

Chapter Fourteen: Back and Back Again

Scene 4/6

The evening found Alex in her dorm, sitting on a cushion by the fire with books and parchments spread around her. Dumbledore was stretched out on the carpet to her side, soaking up the heat of the flames and enjoying Alex's hand stroking his fur idly as she worked.

She'd retreated there as soon as classes were over, unable to stand the whispers and the stares. She'd never minded it much, before, but it felt different now. When she'd first arrived in the castle people whispered because of You-Know-Who. It felt distant, disconnected. But now it was personal: they were whispering about something she'd done. Something she wasn't proud of.

It made her feel like there was a huge spot on her nose and everyone was staring at it.

So she holed herself up in her dorm and did her catch-up homework. She was trying to focus on her astronomy essay -- "the effects of Mars on destructive energies" -- but her mind kept wandering, thinking back to the events of the year. She just couldn't understand where everything had gone so wrong.

When had winning become so important to her? She'd wanted to beat Hermione so had gone out with Draco. That had lost her a friend. She'd wanted to beat Daphne. That had almost cost her freedom. At some point, she realised, she had stopped having fun.

At that moment she decided that next year would be about fun. No boys, no quarrels, no schoolyard politics.

The door opened and Alex turned to see Susan standing silhouetted in the doorway, the light of the landing spilling into the dorm.

"Hey," Susan said quietly, stepping into the flickering firelight. Alex couldn't help but smile. It was the first time Susan had initiated contact in months. "Why're you in the dark?"

"Didn't realise," said Alex. "Lumos." The lighting charms turned on, filling the room with a soft, slightly golden glow which seemed to come from nowhere. She indicated the cushion opposite her. "Sit with me?"

Susan hesitated.

"I'll do your hair," Alex added with a little smile, sweetening the deal. She pulled the cushion towards herself and puffed it up, making it look inviting. "Come on, get your brush and sit."

"Oh, alright," said Susan. She was pretending to look put out but Alex saw the little smile on her lips. Susan went over to her bedside table and fetched her hairbrush before joining Alex by the fire, her back to Alex's knees.

For a while they didn't speak, just content to enjoy a companionable silence as Alex brushed Susan's hair gently, more of a massage than any kind of practical hair-care.

When it seemed likely that Susan might fall asleep, Alex shuffled around to her side. "Your hair's so beautiful," she murmured, running her fingers through it, delicately separating strands to form a braid.

"Thanks," said Susan sleepily, "it's getting long, though. I should get it cut next time I'm in Hogsmeade."

"I like it long," Alex said, "you can do so much with it." She tied off the braid with a hair band and moved to the other side.

Susan shrugged. "I guess," she said, "it's all a bit too much work, though. I think I want something simpler, you know? It feels like I spend an hour on it every morning."

"Mmm," said Alex, who generally didn't have to worry about such things. They fell quiet again, several minutes passing before Alex spoke again. "I was thinking of dyeing mine, actually. Red, like my mother."

Susan opened her eyes. "Your mum had red hair?" she said, "I didn't know."

"Mr Lupin sent me some photos at Christmas," Alex said, tying off the second braid, hardly daring to believe she might have her friend back. "I can show you them later, if you like."

Susan smiled. "That sounds nice," she said. "Maybe we can show the photo to Helen and get her to charm your hair the same colour. Just to test it out, you know?"

"Perfect," said Alex, who could of course change her hair colour any time she liked. That wasn't really the point, though. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed this. "Listen, Susan…" Alex began, biting her lip, "about what happened… I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have chosen Draco over you."

Susan sighed. "You don't need to apologise, Alex. You already said sorry so many times... I just didn't want to hear it." She looked down at her hands. "It seems so silly now, but I was just soangry… I think the worst bit was that you didn't tell me. We were meant to be best friends, you know?"

"I know," whispered Alex. "Everything got soscrewed up."

"Tell me," said Susan, and Alex did. Not the censored version that the aurors got, nor the rehearsed performance she gave Natalie Poett. She unloaded it all on Susan: how happy she'd been at Christmas and how badly she'd wanted to be Daphne's friend. How hurt she'd been when Daphne called her a mudbood. How utterly alone she'd felt when only Lily was willing to testify.

The tears came freely and by the time their stomachs were rumbling, Alex's head was in Susan's lap, her face splotchy from crying.

"... and as soon as I saw the paper today I knew it was my fault. He looked sosad."

"Who did?" asked Susan.

"Dumbledore," said Alex, closing her eyes. Susan was stroking her hair and it was very relaxing. "He was smiling but I could see it in his eyes. If I hadn't messed up, he wouldn't have had to do it. I owe him big time."

"You seriously do," said Susan, a smile in her voice, "but I'm glad he did it."

Alex heard the door opening and twisted in Susan's lap, turning to see who it was.

"We're ready!" Lily said, before frowning and stepping into the room. "What're you doing? You're not even dressed yet."

Alex looked down at her uniform. "Er… yes I am."

"Not like that!" Lily cried, "quickly, put something nice on."

Alex looked between Susan and Lily in confusion. "Something nice? Why?"

Lily grinned. "It's a secret," she said, "now get dressed! You have five minutes."

"What?"

"Five minutes!" Lily repeated, before running away down the stairs, shouting all the way: "Five minutes!"

Alex got to her feet and raised her eyebrows at Susan, who had the grace to look embarrassed. "There, er, might be a party," said Susan, getting up and stretching. "I was meant to come and help you get ready."

"A party?" said Alex, confused, "what for?"

Susan giggled. "Why, for you of course! Now come on, what're we going to wear?"

Alex quickly swung her wardrobe open, pulling her dress over her head and slipping her socks off using her toes. A party! She didn't own any proper dress robes, but she'd accumulated a fair amount of expensive clothes over various Hogsmeade weekends. She pulled out a simple, light pink dress with a belt of black ribbon.

"How about this one?" she said, holding it up to herself and looking across to Susan, who was changing into a royal blue dress robe.

"Great!" said Susan, giving her a quick glance, "now put it on!"

She wriggled into the dress and pulled the belt tight before putting on some sandals. "Ready!" she called, deciding to leave her hair loose. "You done yet?"

"No!" cried Susan, who was struggling with the back of her dress. "Do me up?"

Alex took the flaps of Susan's dress and pushed them together, making sure to line them up right to avoid crumpling. The two sides fused together seamlessly. "There we go," Alex said, tucking the strap of Susan's bra under the dress shoulder, "all done."

The party was in the Big Room. They made their way down quickly, not meeting a single person on the stairs. It was oddly quiet. But the moment she opened the door:

"SURPRISE!"

All of Hufflepuff was there, dressed to the nines, spilling out of the door and into the stone garden, wearing party hats and blowing party trumpets. Tables ladened with buffet food lined the edges of the room and the ceiling was littered with floating balloons. A large poster above the stage declared:

WELCOME BACK ALEX

"Let the party commence!" called Peter Hadley, and the music started playing. A few people started dancing awkwardly, but everyone else rushed for the food, grabbing paper plates and stacking the food high.

Lily came skipping over to Alex and Susan. "Do you like it?" she said, grinning from ear to ear.

Alex pulled her in for a hug. "It's amazing," she said, releasing her and taking Susan's arm. "I can't believe this is all for me!"

Susan gave her arm a squeeze. "This is Hufflepuff," she said. "No one does a party better than us."

Or forgiveness. Somehow Alex couldn't imagine the Ravenclaws or Slytherins throwing a party for her after everything she'd done. The Sorting Hat, it seemed, had chosen well.

"I love your dress," Alex said to Lily as they walked over to the food. It was white and gold, with a layer of transparent gauze over the white lace.

"Thanks," said Lily, browsing platters of sandwiches cut into tiny triangles, "it's one of my mum's designs." They moved down the table towards the cold meats where Hannah Abbott was helping herself to a pork pie.

"Hey, Hannah," said Susan, taking some mini-sausages on cocktail sticks. "How was art club?"

Hannah's eyes flicked towards Alex. "It was great!" she said, her face becoming animated, "James showed us how to draw animated figures."

"That sounds amazing," said Susan as Alex leaned over to the ham. As she did so, she couldn't help but notice Hannah shying away. She tried to ignore it. "Is it a spell, or…?"

"Well, the pencils are enchanted," Hannah said, eyeing Alex nervously, "so you just have to imagine what you want it to look like at the same time as drawing."

"That's really interesting," said Alex, wishing she could get a look at one of the pencils. It sounded almost like they were a kind of wand. "I'm useless at art but maybe I should come along one day."

Hannah gave her a weak smile that lasted all of two seconds. "Er, maybe," she said, "I'm not sure if it's your kind of scene."

Alex blushed at the rejection. "Maybe you're right," she said, and half a dozen barbed replies came to mind. But Susan gave her alook, so she simply said, "I think I'm gonna get a drink."

She grabbed Lily's arm and dragged her away to the drinks table.

"Well, I guess we know how Hannah feels," said Alex, taking a glass and filling it was strawberry fizz.

Lily snorted. "You'll get used to it." She swiped the glass Alex had poured for herself with a cheeky grin. "She's hated me for years and I'm all right, aren't I?"

Alex laughed. "Depends what you mean by 'all right'," she said as she poured another glass, "you're a drink thief, for one."

"Hey! I resent that!" said Lily, and they went to sit down on some chairs by the radio so they could eat. "It was a well-earned reward for rescuing you from Hannah."

Alex fluttered her eyelashes. "My hero!"

Tiberius Slowe and Zach Smith sauntered over with butterbeers in hand and took the seats next to them. "All right, Potter?" said Tiberius. He was getting taller every day, it seemed. Alex was sure he hadn't towered over her so much at the start of the year.

"Congrats on escaping Azkaban," said Zach, sharing a snigger with Tiberius. Obviously they thought themselves very funny.

Alex ducked her head. "Er, thanks," she said, sending Lily a disbelieving look before turning back to the blond boys. ""I'm not sure if I'd put it that way, myself…"

Tiberius ignored her. "I bet you could get away with all sorts of shit," he said, "being the Girl Who Lived and all. You should curse a teacher next--"

"--McGonagall, for sure," suggested Zach.

"--yeah, McGonagall. She's always really boring."

Alex just stared at them incredulously. "I'm not going to curse a teacher," she said, "and for your information, I like McGonagall."

"All right, all right," Tiberius said, holding up his hands as if to imply she was being overly sensitive. "It was just a joke. But, seriously--"

"Hey, here's an idea!" said Lily, "why don't you piss off and leave us alone?"

The boys tried to laugh it off, but their red faces betrayed them. "Whatever," said Zach, flicking his long hair as he got up, "you coming, Tibes?"

The boys left and Alex and Lily shared a secretive giggle. "Really?" laughed Alex, "Tibes?"

Susan came over just as they were finishing their food. "You want to head outside?" she said, passing them a butterbeer each, "I feel like some fresh air."

The cold March wind was biting but it hadn't stopped the party: large braziers crackling with flames kept the cold at bay, each one surrounded by a ring of chattering students. The girls huddled together behind a group of fourth years, their presence going unnoticed under the noise of the group.

"So what're you doing for easter?" said Alex, wishing she'd brought her wand with her so she could cast a warming charm. The fourth years were blocking all the heat and she was beginning to shiver.

"I'm going home," said Susan, her eyes lighting up, "dad always does this really big scavenger hunt to find the eggs. I just hope he doesn't turn them all invisible like last year... even after I found them he couldn't turn them back, so I had to eat invisible chocolate!"

Alex laughed at the mental image. "I've forgotten -- how long's the holiday?" she asked.

"Three weeks," said Lily, "threebeautifulweeks of no work."

"You know we're going to have holiday homework, right?" said Alex, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Lily waved her hand dismissively. "I'll do it the weekend we get back," she said. "I'll be too busy during the holiday... we're all going to France together. Lizzie's bringing Oliver Wood."

"No way!" gasped Susan.

"I think she's actually getting pretty serious about him," Lily said, "I guess we'll see how it goes."

"He must be terrified," said Alex, "meeting the parents and all that. I know when I met--" She stopped short, suddenly remembering who she was with.

Susan rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you can say his name."

"Sorry," said Alex. "Anyway, when I met Lucius and Narcissa I thought I was going to throw up I was so nervous."

Lily scrunched up her nose. "If he hurls during the portkey I'm gonna kill Lizzie."

A particularly brisk gust of wind blew through their hair and Alex shuddered. "Let's go back inside," she suggested through almost-chattering teeth. "It's pretty freezing out here."

"Alright," said Susan, shrugging, but just as they turned to go they heard it -- the fourth years were discussing Alex, oblivious to her presence.

"... Potter almost killed a girl and she gets a party! Honestly, I have no idea what Professor Sprout was thinking. Why wasn't she expelled, again?"

Alex stilled and held her finger to her lips, forestalling Lily and Susan's interventions.

"Come on, Henry," said a tall, thin girl, "she's just a firstie, give her a break."

"Yeah, because that's what she needs," said Henry, his tone sarcastic, "famous, rich Alexandra Potter, if only the world could give her a break!"

Susan began tugging on Alex's arm, jerking her head towards to the door, but Alex stood firm. She wanted to hear more.

"Hufflepuff is the house of loyalty," said another boy. "No matter what she's done, she's still one of us."

Henry laughed. "You sound like the damn Sorting Hat," he said, "no one actually believes any of that shit. Have you seen the Longbottom kid? The Hat actually put him in Gryffindor! What a joke."

"Come on," hissed Susan, and this time Alex let herself be pulled away. They walked back into the Big Room without another word. The dancing had finally taken off: someone had turned the music up and a small dance floor had formed at the end of the room. But Alex suddenly wasn't in the partying mood.

Her eyes flickered towards the door. "Maybe I should go."

"Oh no you don't!" cried Lily, putting herself between Alex and her escape route. She took hold of Alex's shoulders and spun her around to face the dancefloor. "We're going to dance and you're going to have fun. And that's that."

Susan hooked her arm through Alex's. "Ignore the others," she said, gently guiding her towards the dancing crowd. "They're just gossiping. Enjoy your night."

The song changed to the Weird Sisters and the dancers cheered their approval. "Well, alright," said Alex as they joined the others, letting the beat guide her movements. "Maybe just one dance."

"That's the spirit!" cried Susan.

They danced all night.