Bella
"I'll be fine Edward," I say later in the day as I sit down on a large rock and wrap a blanket around my shoulders. We've come to a large clearing so that Jasper can start teaching the wolves how to fight. Although Edward still hasn't convinced him to let him join in the fight, he insisted on being present for the training.
"Sam, who is your best fighter?" Jasper says addressing the wolf at the front. He looks around at his pack and sends Jacob out to the front. "Alice can you count us in?"
Uneasy looks pass throughout the pack as they realise that the fighting is starting so quickly and with such a lack of preparation. If they're trying to communicate through Edward, he doesn't pass on the message.
Alice holds up three fingers and puts them down one at a time before dropping her hand to the ground and taking a quick step backwards.
Next thing, there's a blur of movement as Jasper runs towards Jacob and faster than I can blink has him pinned to the floor.
"Let's try that again," Jasper says taking a few steps back. "Pay attention."
This time, it takes Jasper a few more seconds to have Jacob pinned, but I can still see Jacob's embarrassment by the way he slinks back to his pack, his tail between his legs. I can only imagine the scolding he's currently getting from Sam mentally.
"As you can see, when you're one on one with a vampire, it's not so easy to contain us. You might have succeeded as a pack, but alone you're going to need a lot of work."
I listen as he goes on to explain the process of how vampires are changed and how, in the first year of life, they are so much more powerful. I can't help thinking that, although I'd been given a summary of the change, Jasper makes the whole thing sound much worse than I'd realised. It must take a really strong individual to make it through that level of burning pain, do I have that sort of strength?
"The most important rules of fighting newborns are to always expect the unexpected and never, I mean never, let them get they're arms around you."
Jasper then goes around the group, splitting everyone off into pairs, one vampire to one wolf.
"I want you all to fight how you would naturally fight. At this late in the game, there isn't time to start from scratch with a new style, so I'll go round tweaking what you've already got to work with."
He sets each pair off fighting each other.
To my human eyes, all I can see is blurs, but Jasper must be able to see everything in more detail because he's confidently going around making suggestions and corrections for both sides.
I look over to where Edward is paired with a large grey wolf who I suspect is Leah. Compared to the other pairs, Edward seems to be moving at less of a blur, but also with more purpose. I can't quite work out if he's just not needing to do better because of his gift or if he's worried about hurting a female.
Just as I'm considering going over to him to tell him to buck his ideas up and get nasty, Jasper jumps in on the situation and pins his arms behind his back. "This is why you're staying home!" he shouts in his ear and I can see the rage bubbling on his face. "Smart up or get out of here."
The taunting does it's intended thing because Edward then speeds up to match the others and within a few minutes has the wolf pinned beneath him. "Better," Jasper says. "But could be better. Wolf, act on instinct rather than thinking and planning. You just need to weaken him enough to stop him attacking you. Edward, thing three dimensionally."
Leaving the pair to work on his suggestions, I follow him with my eyes as he bounces around to each pair. He regularly stops in with Alice, and every time he does so I can see the slight tension in his brow from watching his mate fighting, but like the trained solider I'm now seeing in him, he keeps pushing through.
Around an hour later of non-stop fighting, Jasper finally calls time.
"How long do you need?" he asks Sam.
Edward responds on his behalf, "At least 4 hours he says. Some of them are hurt and need time to heal."
"I'm happy for any of you to return to the house for clothes and I can tend to any injuries?" Carlisle says walking forward, his usually smartly pressed clothes cacked in mud and grass.
"They're going back to the Res to switch out with the guard patrol, but they'll phone if they need anything."
Carlisle exchanges several more pleasantries with the pack before coming back to the family and leading us all home. Although we're going at a human pace, everyone needing the opportunity to mentally decompress, Edward still put me on his back to carry home.
Towards the back of the group, I can see Alice cuddled into Jasper's chest. I can see the looks of horror on his face and wonder what things he would have seen as a fighter. I feel immediately guilty for putting him in what is obviously a difficult situation for him.
As I'm watching them both, fascinated by the way they seem to sooth each other simply with their presence, Jasper looks over and locks his gaze with mine.
"It's not your fault," Edward says softly into my ear where my chin is resting on his shoulder. "Jasper will be alright, he's got Alice." It's true, watching them, I can see that they'll never need anything else.
"Will it be like that for us?" I ask, conscious of the fact that everyone can hear me.
"I don't know. From what I've seen, the mate bond is different for everyone. We'll find out soon though." He says, reassuring me of our conversation.
I can't think of a way to respond, so I just close my eyes and relax into the steady movement of Edward's steps back towards the house. The night is mild but comfortable and I'm pleased to have supported Edward in what appears to have been very important to him.
As we stride into the clearing of the Cullen's drive way, Edward shifts my weight around and places me gently on my feet, keeping hold of my shoulder's until I'm stable. "I should get you home. It's late and you've got school tomorrow."
"Get cleaned up first, I'm not in any rush." It's true, the cool night air has woken me up and I'm feeling surprisingly spritely for what I assume is well past midnight.
Edward takes my hand and leads me into the house, guiding me over to one of the armchairs to wait. "Please," he says slightly awkwardly, "stay here, I'll be back down."
He doesn't wait for a respond and when he returns a few moments later I'm still confused by his words.
"What did you mean by…" He cuts off my question with a quick jerk of the head and leads me back over to one of the cars. "Charlie will hear the engine, aren't we running?"
"It's too cold at that speed now. I'll park it a street away and someone can pick it up later."
Starting to feel the buzz from the evening leave my body, I shuffle over to where he's holding the door open for me and settle down on the seat. The car is cold where it's been sitting in the garage all evening, and the blowers send puffs of the freezing air directly into my face.
"Sorry," Edward says turning them off. "Rosalie was fiddling with them earlier."
The hum of the engine is soothing as he pulls out and I curl into a ball to keep myself warm.
"Thank you for dropping it back there," Edward says when we're clear of the driveway. I hum a questioning noise, too tired to open my mouth and form words. "The family, they're spending some time… bonding."
My face immediately flare's bright red at the insinuation.
"I'll miss that too," he smirks, "you'll get to used to it, maybe when you're my age."
Jasper's words about the change start to toss around in my mind and I consider questioning him further about what's going to happen to me. Though, when I actually try to formulate my thoughts into words, they go missing and I give up on the idea for now.
Slowly, the car takes us through town and close to the house. In what feels like seconds given how out of it I am, Edward is carefully putting me through the window.
I stand there, slightly clueless about what to do next, when Edward hands me a pile of clothes and sends me off into the bathroom to change. Stumbling out of the room, I pray that my body is going to stay with it enough to make it through changing without waking Charlie.
Thankfully, despite several rather loud thumps from me walking into everything in my path, he doesn't wake up and I'm soon under the covers fast asleep. I don't even notice when Edward tucks the sheets in around me.
The next morning, my alarm blaring wakes me up. I groan and roll over to silence the small device. For some reason, that night sleep had been much better than I've slept in a good long while, and I loath the alarm for disrupting my bliss.
"You can manage another half an hour," Edward says turning the incessant beeping off for me. "I hadn't realised it was set else I'd have turned it off. I'll make sure you're at school on time." I didn't listen to the second half of his words, I just let my body fall back into oblivion.
What feels like no time later, Edward is shaking me awake. "Now you do need to get up. Come on. Breakfast is sorted, you can eat on the way."
Letting him pull me to my feet, I throw my clothes on, not bothering with a shower, and trudge downstairs and straight into the car. On the dashboard is a still warm blueberry muffing waiting along with a thermos of coffee.
"I love you Esme," I mutter, knowing if she's still around she'll hear me.
The first bite of muffin is like heaven on my tongue and, to my surprise, I've eaten the entire thing by the time we reach school.
As promised, Edward has got me here with plenty of time to get to my locker on the way to my first class. I don't share my Government class with him, but he still walks me to the door before rushing to get to his own class.
I try my best to pay attention to the classes, and I'm thankfully able to turn in all of my homework on time.
"How was your day," Edward asks, meeting me at his car.
"It wasn't as bad as it could have been. Can we go back to yours?" I ask, wanting to avoid Charlie for as long as possible.
"Yep, we've got another training session."
On the way there, the clouds open and dump an excessive amount of rain down on the top of the car. I groan at the idea of sitting watching people fight in this weather. Forks may be ideal vampire weather, but it's certainly not ideal for me.
It's still raining heavily when we pull up in the garage.
"Hello," a voice that sounds like Rosalie comes from under one of the cars. "We'll be off then." She slides out from underneath and brushes her oil stained hands on her overalls.
I turn to Edward, unsure how to say that I don't really want to come this time, but I don't have to worry because Esme sticks her head around the door and calls us in.
"You can come," Jasper says to Edward as we move into the space, "Esme is struggling and I while I'd prefer you both stay behind, I can't deny the opportunity of another fighter."
Looking up at Edward, I can see a strange look of determination but also disgust on his face and I wonder what he's heard in Jasper's mind.
"Alice said you were coming," Esme says looping her arm through mine, "I thought I could help you with some more of that work while they're out. What'd you say?"
"Sounds great, thanks Esme." I smile warmly at her, grateful for the help and understanding of the situation.
The others all start to bustle around and then congregate by the front porch, none of them paying any notice to the pelting rain.
"I'll be back soon," Edward says placing a delicate kiss on my forehead. "Stay safe."
"I will," I say squeezing him briefly with my arms and then releasing him to go with his family.
Stepping backwards, I walk straight into Esme and jump away muttering apologies.
"No worries, come, let's get started. Does Charlie know where you are?" I groan in response, "You get unpacked and I'll send him a quick call to tell him you're with us."
Dragging my backpack over to the table, I unload the day's books onto the table. The Government work from today is the most pressing, so I pull that book in front of me and start to scribble some notes on the pad of paper.
Some time later, Esme silently joins me.
"I don't understand this big," I say pushing the book towards her.
Patiently, she explains the concepts to me and I work through writing my essay plan. Having finished that, I'm feeling much more confident about tackling it, all that really needs doing now is to write it all up.
As I put those books away and start to pull another towards me, Esme clears her throat. "I fear you're struggling with your father."
"I'll make it work, somehow. He's just wanting to know more, but I can't tell him and keep him safe. You can guess how well he's taking his daughter lying and keeping things from him." I say trying not to direct my anger towards her.
"It is indeed safer the less he knows, however, Carlisle and I spoke about it, and we'd be happy to speak to Charlie in your stead. We'll keep the bulk of the matter from him, but we feel we may be able to offer some reassurances without the need to disclose anything which may be dangerous."
"Really," I say, surprised by her suggestion. "You'd do that for me?"
"Of course, you are part of the family and we support each other. What is it that you fear so much?"
Fiddling with my fingers, I whisper, "Being alone. I don't want to be alone again."
"No one can control the future," I look up, thinking of Alice and her many attempts to direct the future. "Try to be in the here and now. There's a saying, the past is history, the future a mystery, but the now is a gift, that's why they call it the present. Remember that."
"It's so hard."
"It will be. You're protecting yourself, it's only sensible, but you can't change the future, you can only control your choices right now. When you're able, give yourself permission to be happy with what you have now, and time will show you that your heart is safe. Now, what's next?"
And, just like that, the difficult conversation is over and I'm left feeling a mixture of confusion and relief.
Opening the next book, we start to plod through the trigonometry questions.
"For someone who's never been to high school, you know this pretty well."
She laughs softly, "I didn't go to high school, but I did go to college. I've got a teaching certificate, though I never fully graduated as I wasn't able to take a work placement. Maybe one day I'll finish it."
Stunned by the revelation, but not surprised at her ability, I open my mouth to ask more about her life, but I'm interrupted by the phone ringing.
"Excuse me," Esme says dashing over to the phone.
Only able to hear Esme's side of the conversation in the empty house, I try to work out who she's speaking to.
"Thank you, I shall pass on the message," she says formally, "We appreciate the promptness of solution and shall be in touch soon."
There's the noise of the phone hanging up on the cradle and then being picked up again. "Jasper, Jenks phoned."