Thankfully, Matthew and Sarah seemed quite oblivious to her and Strike's presence in the tiny pub. Strike returned a few moments later pushing a full glass of white wine toward Robin while taking a long sip of the foam on top of his lager.
"As someone who has had a fair bit of experience dealing with shite exes," said Strike eyeing Robin over his pint, "The surprise meetings are always the worst. You're well shot of him"
"Look," he said leaning in "Matthew is just beginning to realize what exactly it is he's lost when he chose to shag that prize of a human. The prick." Strike said clinking his glass to hers with a wink.
Robin smiled down at her glass.
"I'm grateful to Sarah, in a way." said Robin with a steadying breath, "If it weren't for her wanting to be with Matt so badly that she intentionally left an earring for me to find, I might actually be sitting there with him looking miserable."
"And Instead you're stuck here with me looking miserable- Thank Christ for Sarah." said Strike, flashing a lopsided grin, "I should buy her a drink.."
Robin felt some of her emotion subside in their little bubble of friendship.
"To be honest, you've always been more of a laugh than Matthew," said Robin smiling, "not that it's hard to be more interesting than a man who only speaks passionately about tax withholding and the property ladder.'
Strike looked pleased nonetheless.
"Whereas- I am an ornery cunt who speaks passionately about body decomposition rates and changing witness statements…"
Robin met his eye with a raised brow, "What woman in her right mind wouldn't enjoy a bit of serial killer chat to investment talk any day?"
"Speaking of Matthew, I have to come clean about something, Robin." said Strike, aiming to distract while sipping idly at his pint, "I've had more than a few detailed fantasies about breaking Matt's nose…. Still do in fact. When I'm hacked off, I imagine caving in his nose and it never fails to put a smile on my face."
Robin let out a shocked laugh,
"That's a strange kind of chivalry I guess- but why? Matt's not really done anything to you? I mean, we both know he's a bit of a shit…but.."
Strike contemplated for a moment before answering,
"I dunno… I think he is the quintessential corporate prick that could benefit from a good punching from time to time- just to knock some of the smug off." He flashed her a wicked grin, hesitated and then pushed on,
"But on a more personal level- I don't think I can ever forgive him for treating you like did." His index finger tapped gently on the side of his glass, eyes downcast and brow furrowed,
"He didn't really like the things about you that made, well… you I suppose. It seemed like he wanted you to be as small minded as he was." Strike made a disgusted face, "Anytime you were brilliant- it pissed him off- the arsehole"
Strikes eyes found Robin's briefly with a look of sincerity
"...He should have been bloody proud of you. Instead the prick got jealous and tried to humiliate you any way he could manage - up to and including shagging Sarah out of spite."
Robin closed her mouth on her look of surprise. With a flush of pleasure at his unprompted kind words she reflected that for all the times that strike had seemed so oblivious to her relationship struggles, his keen mind had actually missed very little and oddly it warmed her to think of how much he'd resented Matthew.
Robin did not know how to respond to statement like that, so instead she opted to turn the conversation back to the couple in the corner,
"You know that Sarah had her baby?" said Robin, "Matt is living his little domestic fantasy now."
Strike let out a small derisive laugh
"Parenthood doesn't suit him."
Robin pulled a face at that.
"We don't know that- I always thought Matt would make a good father, even if he was a shite lover"
Strike Blanched a little at this.
"Shite lover was he?" said strike with eyebrows raised, "Well, I can't say i'm shocked. He seems to lack basic human imagination."
Robin felt her color rising, but she laughed in spite of herself, "I was talking about the emotional aspects of being a lover."
Strike gave her a skeptical look, leaning in conspiratorially, "but I bet he was a bit shit in the sack, too."
"I'm hardly the expert on good shags," but added defensively, "He was fit, though- IS fit though."
Strike's noticed her blush and it made him smile inwardly. Robin appeared more cheerful than she had all evening- and especially since realizing that Matt and Sarah were there.
In all the years he'd known her, he'd made a concerted effort to shy away from conversations that could be perceived by her to be overtly sexual or flirtatious. Clear lines had to be drawn to prevent himself straying beyond friendship and into a more personal kind of intimacy. He knew now that he was undeniably in love with his partner. For better or worse and despite his effort to the contrary - He was closer to her than he was to any other human.
With every shared experience He found himself respecting her more, trusting her more, and oddly missing her more when she wasn't with him. He could not have said the same about Charlotte even after years of intense intimacy. The longer he was with that woman, the more he had lost respect and distrusted her. In the end it was a relief in a way that she had told an unforgivable lie about the baby that never existed.
The emotional aspect of his and Robin's relationship had grown steadily through the years despite his attempted distance. He had been careful to keep All sexual attraction for Robin neatly boxed up in a corner of his mind, and only occasionally did his desire break through. Only when he was at his weakest did his guard fall but overall, he tried damn hard and did as well as he thought he reasonably could , he had thought this more chaste version of closeness would prevent himself from having further inconvenient feelings for her. It hadn't done that and in fact, it had done exactly the reverse.
Above all, this exercise had taught him that what he needed most in his life was Robin. His fruitless attempts to distract and displace had led him through a series of desirable women, but, every liaison ended in a one sided heartbreak. Strike had not shed a tear over any of them- and each in turn discovered how futile a relationship was after realizing that they had each committed the fatal sin of not being the one woman he told himself he could never want.