Daniel Espinoza the Elf-Wrangler

If there was such a thing as Fate, Dan was pretty sure he'd somehow managed to piss it off.

Lucifer Morningstar had been sitting beside an obvious minor on the premises of LUX, serving the elf kid alcohol during business hours.

In public.

In full view of other patrons.

Ercan was huddled in the corner of the elevator, obviously embarrassed. Poor kid was way out of his element.

"How's your head?" Dan asked.

"Better. Doctor Linda said I don't have a con-coush-in anymore," the elf said, stumbling over the word 'concussion.' He looked up toward the ceiling of the elevator car. "I wish the Tower had these instead of all those flights of stairs."

"You live in a tower?"

"No, it belongs to Lord Aethal." Ercan shook his head. "His manor has a big star-gazing tower that his astrologer works from. When I go to do my twenty days of service as a houseboy each year, one of my jobs is to clean the Great Gazing Lens, which means I gotta haul buckets of water up and down five flights of steps twice a day." Pushing his glasses up, he smiled proudly. "I made a deal with the astrologer for that job, so I could pay for a proper set of spectacles."

"Are they a new invention for your… world, or-?"

"No. They're just really expensive. If I was a human, there'd be no way I'd live long enough to pay off that kind of a debt, but bein' an elf finally worked to my advantage for once."

For once? "What do you mean?"

"Well, I've lived with humans for most of my life." Ercan started hobbling toward off the elevator as the doors opened. "My elf parents probably abandoned me once they realized my eyes were bad." He sat on the couch and picked up one of the Dungeons and Dragons books from the (new) coffee table. "At least, that's what the humans kept tellin' me whenever I asked. I don't remember much from before turning fifteen; if I'd been human, I would've been about three." He held up Xanathar's Guide to Everything, "So, is this some kind of sorcery game that your mages use to summon creatures through? Lord Lucifer couldn't tell me very much about how it worked."

"Uh, not exactly." Dan sat down across from the kid and grabbed the Player's Handbook. "Here, let me show you."

After calling into the station, to basically say he was clocking out for the night, Dan found himself surrounded by a bunch of Ella's 5th Edition books and maps.

Ercan pointed toward the Player's Handbook. "I couldn't find anything in that one, and now I don't even know if what I've been told about elves is even true anymore."

"Okay, how about we set aside the books that are strictly for general reference first," Dan picked up the Dungeon Master's Guide, Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, and Volo's Guide to Monsters, setting them on top of Xanathar's Guide to Everything and the Player's Handbook. "These have more to do with rules and how to play the game, rather than any particular location."

Ercan scratched his left ear. "They wouldn't say anything about my village in them, then."

"Exactly." Dan quickly piled up the five campaign guide books that took place on the continent of Faerûn, or its world. "How about we go through these first. I'll list off a bunch of locations, and you tell me if any of them sound familiar, okay?"

"Okay."

"Let's see, we've got the region of Icewind Dale," he flipped through a couple of pages and read off town names. "Luskan, Neverwinter, Bremen, Bryn Shander, Caer-Dineval and Caer-Konig, Easthaven, Good Mead?."

Ercan shook his head.

"Lonelywood, Targos, Termalaine, or Ten-Towns…"

"No."

Dan set aside Icewind Dale. "Does the Spine of the World sound familiar?"

"I've never heard anybody talk about anything like that."

"What about the Sword Coast?" Picking up the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide, Dan turned to the first page that had a map. "Gundarlun, Moonshae Isles," not seeing any recognition in Ercan's face, he continued. "Silverymoon, Waterdeep-."

"Waterdeep! A lot of the older men talk about taking the merchant wagons there all the time." Excited, the young elf leaned across the coffee table to look at the map. "Where's it at?"

Smiling, Dan pointed to the small dot. "Right there."

Ercan's eyes skimmed across the area surrounding it. "Does it show a place called Aethalland? It should be close to the foot of the Star Mounts, near the Unicorn Run."

"That would be right around here," Dan moved his finger over the High Forest region, circling the Star Monts. "So, that's where you live. Somewhere around here?"

"Yeah." Confused, he looked up. "Why isn't my town on the map?"

Not knowing what to say, Dan flipped through the pages until he came to the section that supposedly described the High Forest. "Ercan, have you ever heard the names Morgwais, the Red Lady, or Lady of the Wood?"

"Should I have?"

Oh, boy.

That could've gone better. Dan watched Ercan from the balcony, sipping a glass of scotch, as Lucifer's therapist talked the kid down from his totally understandable freakout.

This had to be hell on the elf; waking up in an entirely different reality, only to find out that your entire world only exist here as a figment of some pot-head's imagination that got turned into an elaborate dice game.

"Don't give me that look, Lucifer," he grumbled at the Devil, who was lurking beside him. "You didn't exactly help."

Stubbing out his cigarette, Satan rolled his eyes. "Fine, you're right. Calling Gary Gygax's invention the illegitimate bastard of Tolkien, too much fried cheese curd, and LSD may have been a mistake."

"Gee, ya think?" Dan shook his head. "You really have no idea how to talk to anybody under the age of thirty, do you?"

Lucifer shuddered. "What in Dad's name would ever possess me to even want to?"