wrote this for a class. decided to post it. enjoy!
I'm here to warn you of danger. What danger? You ask? I'm warning you of the unbelievably short human, and his golden light! What did he do? you ask; and how much bad tuna did he eat?
My name is Archibald, the penguin, and here is the record of the crazy human!
Allow me to backtrack. T'was a week ago, and I was walking home from a successful hunt for fish. The fish were running away from a ship and I was paranoid that the humans on board poisoned them. I'm a veteran of multiple leopard seal attacks and I've fought hard to keep my wings intact, so anything that isn't my kind, they die before they can do anything. It was just Isy, Snoh,Kold, and me walking home to our families. All of a sudden, we were surrounded by golden light.
And when it cleared, we were in a strangely huge and definitely not familiar place.
It was warm. Not summer warm with even worse than that.
We were being watched by large humans, who stood around us in a big circle. Not one of them had the usual thick, dense fur, which could only mean one thing. They lost their fur when it was hot! The shortest human had weird yellow moss on his head, not like fur, but it still gave off that vibe. They also had weird sticks as long as their bodies, and seemed to be semi naked. The short one was shouting at the top of his lungs! Probably calling more of his kind to hunt us down and eat us. I was terrified, but as leader of the group I had to do something.
I saw a way out through a strange hole in the glacier and ran as fast as I could, telling my brethren to follow me, only for the evil forcefield to stop us all in our tracks. Some of the humans laughed, while others stared. My group huddled together, even though it was too hot for that. Seriously, where was a cold breeze when you needed it?
"Uh... Archibald?" Kold asked me.
"Yes?" I replied slowly.
"What kind of fish did we eat this morning?"
"I dunno, but stay put."
Isy came to our other side, "Hey, I'm hungry"
"Quiet!"
"How will we get back home?" Snoh asked.
"I... don't know." I admitted truthfully.
"Do you think they wanna eat us?"
"Possibly."
If this was yet another tactic to hunt us, I would not take it lightly at ALL. In fact, I would destroy them for it. I hadn't fought the leopard seals as much as I did to die at the hands of humans without the strange fur that they usually were covered in when they came to see us! I got in front of my flock and began squawking as loudly as possible. But it only seemed to make them laugh louder.
Then, another human walked in through a rectangular hole in the bizarre glacier we were in. His skin was brown, and the moss on his head was even more ridiculous. He left the room just as quickly as soon as he saw us, and we all followed him. No way were we staying with the strange humans who may wanna eat us! The weird, short human held up some fish, and I admittedly could not resist the idea of food, so me and my group waddled over. We all ate some as he handed them over, and walked us out to the outside. it was chilly, but not as chilly as home.
Another weird human with the same long stick they all carried watched him, and they began talking in their weird language. I walked toward the pool with Snoh, and we almost got eaten by a strangely colored crocodile. It was as white as snow.
I squawked loudly, and ran toward my group. Now crocs could camouflage, great! What else does this bizarre day hold? Leopard seals that could fly?! Humans who could glide across ice using loud demons again?!
The weird human from earlier walked over, and said a weird call while pointing a weirdly shaped stick at us. It looked nothing like an icicle, but did look like the ones the other weird humans used, and the gold flash came again. We arrived back home, on the ice.
The others all think we just ate bad tuna, but I think otherwise. Now, I'm preparing for war! I
will destroy the weird humans and their sorcery!
Wait, oh no, it's happening again, HELP! I MUST DEFEND MY PEOPLE!
SQUAW!
*Cue Archibald poofing away in a golden flash