I said it would be late today. In fact, I was almost asleep about 20 minutes ago. The only reason I am not was because I needed to get into my pyjamas and now I feel more awake... If you've been here a while, you will know that Tuesdays have always been a problem, with me going straight from work to karate training and not getting home until nearly 10pm.
Anyway please enjoy this and I will see you Thursday.
SIX - Warm and comfy scarves, hats, and gloves in festive colours
Rachel had always wanted children.
There had been a time in her early teens when she had wondered why some people had children but she knew that had more to do with her parents and her own upbringing. And any feelings she had around wanting her own children was because of her parents.
Which was still true years later.
She wanted to be the opposite of her parents and she wanted to make sure that any children she had would know that they were completely and utterly loved.
Being a stepmother to Michael had brought her to a realisation as to how young children behaved and although it was stressful enough, Rachel knew that if she could get Eddie comfortable with the idea of going through another pregnancy and baby, she wanted to have her own. Only one though. Mainly because she didn't think that she could put Eddie through the pain more than once. She knew that he was still suffering from Stephen's unnaturally short life. She couldn't make him suffer more because of her.
And maybe because they agreed on the one, Rachel found herself with several items for their baby that they didn't necessarily need.
Like the hats, scarves and little mittens that she'd brought in preparation for their winter baby.
And she was certain that Eddie allowed her to indulge a little too much because they both knew that they were only going to have one and that it was her baby. Rachel knew that she would have to work on Eddie's dissociation with their baby but it had been a development that she had expected.
Which was probably why she bought the items in the colours that she had done.
And when she handed Eddie his, she tried to take some comfort in the small smile that he had given her in thanks.
She was certain that he wouldn't have expected her to buy herself and their daughter a matching set. Eddie's had only a scarf and hat while Rachel's also had matching gloves and their daughter's had mittens.
The look on his face when she revealed it was one that she couldn't read. He was usually quite unreadable to others but Rachel had learnt how to over time but that could have just been a by-product of them being able to trust each other. She thought that she might have overstepped a mark. Which was harder for her to do with him than it was for him to do so with her. She didn't want to lose him over a stupid scarf and hat. In fact, they had survived more important arguments but Rachel was unsure about this.
"Just let me get mine," Eddie said before he took the stairs a couple at a time.
Rachel watched him until he went out of sight and then turned to their daughter, who was staring up at her with a look on her face that could have been confusion had she not been so young.
And Rachel hoped that Eddie got better and that it wouldn't affect the relationship that he would end up having with his daughter. It wasn't the best situation to be in but Rachel felt some gratitude over the thought that it could all happen when Isobel wouldn't remember. Rachel knew that she would remember it. It was what she had feared.
But when Eddie returned with his hat and scarf, Rachel could believe that things were getting better between them all. That this was the start of Eddie healing. The start of them being a family. The start of Rachel being able to let go of her worries that she would lose the best man to walk into her life.
There was still a long road ahead of them but this was a good start.