13
Had Snape not been a puppet when he realised where his hiding place of the day was, he would have tiptoed out of the room and then run. As it was, he had no choice but stay put on top of the headboard of the Dark Lord's bed.
Snape was horrified. He could only guess what the dark wizard was going to do to him once he realised that the potions master had seen him in his nightwear. Given the choice, he'd have preferred to be lost in some obscure hiding place until the bell saved him. Who would have guessed that the Dark Lord slept in baby blue pyjamas which were covered all over with little reindeer? Said reindeer didn't move, so the pyjamas were muggle!
Our potions master waited on tenterhooks for the Dark Lord to wake up and the catastrophe to strike but, alas, the snakelike man slept and slept and slept although Snape was pretty certain that the search for him was well under way all over the castle.
Suddenly something moved in the room and it took Snape a moment to realise that an owl had come in through the magical window which enabled post owls to enter. They were installed in the more luxurious tower rooms to enable the residents of the room to receive their post in their quarters without having to go down to the Great Hall.
Said owl – one of the school owls if Snape was not mistaken – was carrying a red envelope. And here the potions master had thought the situation could not get any worse.
Who in their right mind wrote the Dark Lord a howler? And at the crack of dawn to boot! Everybody who knew the evil wizard was aware that this could only end in murder!
Suddenly a second and a third owl entered the bedroom, and both were carrying a howler, too!
Snape would have paled in human form when more owls followed until there were more than a dozen.
The howlers started to smoke. Snape braced himself internally. He just hoped he wasn't going to be hit by a stray spell!
Then it started.
"Snape in a Cape!" a youthful voice roared, and then another and another.
Snape turned human and fell off the headboard because a place that is big enough for a puppet's behind is not necessarily for a fully grown man's.
The Dark Lord woke with a shriek. Sitting up and drawing his wand was one fluid motion.
"Avada kedavra!" the wizard roared.
The howlers exploded once they had delivered their message. The owls shrieked in terror. A well trained post owl didn't bat a lash at one howler, but they were not trained to be exposed to so many in quick succession.
"Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra!" shrieked the Dark Lord.
Funnily enough, nobody died.
Snape rolled out of the bed – it was sheer luck that he hadn't fallen on the Dark Lord's head – and into a kneeling position.
"My Lord," he said as meekly as he could, "Santa opted to use your bedroom as a hiding place and Potter's patronus inspired his fellow students to use howlers to turn me back. I beg your forgiveness!"
"Santa?" the Dark Lord asked dumbly. "If it was Santa's decision, I can't blame you. But," he looked at Snape distrustfully, "why are you not dead? Are you in league with Potter?"
"Not at all, my Lord," said Snape. "You used your pointing stick instead of your wand."
"What a happy mistake!" cried the Dark Lord. Once he had recovered from his shock, he was no longer in a killing mood. "I would have missed you, Severus. So, who has won the prize today."
"I have no idea," admitted Snape. "There were around fifteen howlers and I couldn't make out which one turned me back."
"Let's go down to the Great Hall and ask Albus for advice," the Dark Lord suggested. One casual wave of his wand turned the reindeer pyjamas into his usual floating robes.
"Maybe Lucius can help," suggested Snape. "He's your chief strategist after all."
"Yes, that's a good idea," the Dark Lord held the door open for Snape to precede him out of the bedroom.
Lucius and Bellatrix were waiting in the common sitting area of the guest quarters. Both gasped when they saw Snape come out of their Lord's bedroom.
"Get your minds out of the gutter," snarled Snape. "Santa hid me in there!"
The group of four made their way to the Great Hall where Snape explained the problem to Dumbledore. The headmaster suggested several spells to determine the winner but it was McGonagall who found the best solution.
"Severus, why don't you put your memory of the scene into Albus's pensieve. If we look at it, at least one of us will be able to recognise the voice of the first howler."
The headmaster didn't wait for the others' comments but rushed to get his pensieve. When he came back with it, the Dark Lord was protesting passionately. "My bedroom is not a public space. You can't just go and all look at me sleeping!"
"What if we take a vow to never talk about what we see and hear in your bedroom but for the relevant howler?" asked Flitwick.
To this the Dark Lord agreed, the vow was taken and the teachers dove into Snape's memory.
"Blaise Zabini," all teacher's agreed when they returned from the memory.
The Slytherin was handed his present and the teachers plus the guests sat down to enjoy breakfast.
Blaise's present was in a small green cotton bag. When he opened it, dozens of tiny bright stars hovered out of the bag and positioned themselves in a circle a little above the boy's head.
"Zabini got a gloriole!" crowed Cedric Diggory from the Hufflepuff table.
"Saint Zabini," Cho Chang from Ravenclaw laughed.
"It's a reading lamp, you idiots!" cried Zabini. "Exactly what I wanted!"
"That's a great reading lamp," Draco Malfoy backed his friend. "Much more practical than a lumos spell, where you have to hold the wand while you read."
"Exactly, Draco!" Blaise agreed. "I have both hands free with my new lamp." He opened the bag again and the stars floated back inside obediently.