Chapter Twenty-One
"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place."
Arley had always heard people talk about death. They always said it didn't hurt; some people liked to say that it was a lot like falling asleep, easy as one-two-three while others would say it was like floating away, as if she was a balloon being released from a small child's grasp on a warm summer's day.
Arley had imagined her own death so much so over the years— even before she got the ring as a young child in the foster system —she wasn't surprised when she opened her eyes after closing them in Yellowstone— after closing them in Wally's arms —and found white.
Nothing but white.
Arley got to her unsteady feet and swayed as she turned in a circle. As she spun, Arley was unable to help but notice how though she was just as cold as she'd been in Wally's arms, her ring was just as warm as she could recall from right before her eyes closed.
"Arley Gluck." Arley spun and saw one of the last people she'd expected to lead her into the afterlife. She blinked.
The man wearing Nabus conduit wasn't Kent Nelson, he was younger. Not the boy Arley had been shown, from what Arley could see from the skin peeking out from behind the helmet, this person was far to white to be that young boy.
"Nabu," Arley nodded hello, "Don't tell me my punishment for the rest of eternity is to spend it with you?"
"Of course not Arley Gluck, I've done nothing to deserve that kind of punishment," Nabu joked, his hands stretched outwards, palms turned up. "Besides," he added, "You're not dead."
Arley's brows shot up at that, her hand pressed against her stomach, where Morrow's creation had ripped through her.
"How?"
"Look," Nabu waved a hand and motioned for Arley to turn. She did and a mirror twice the size of herself stood behind her. It hadn't been there seconds before.
It showed Arley the clearing. She was in Wally's arms like she could last remember. Superboy was on her other side, holding her hand up to his heart as his shoulders shook with sobs.
Her eyes were closed but she was smiling. Her teeth bloody.
It was morbid and sick but Arley couldn't help but notice how content she looked in Wally's arms. How for the first time in years, there was no pinch of her brows or downturn of her lips.
Arley's heart clenched at how peaceful she looked.
Fire from the magma filled crevices raged around them as Barry arrived on the scene, ashy faced and horror struck.
Several green lights touched down in the clearing.
Several Lanterns all landed.
Arley took three steps forward as she watched the men who all had a hand in raising her— Hal, Kilowog, John and Guy —pause, registering what was happening in front of them.
"No," Hal said. There were tears in his eyes. His face was white as he reached out to Kilowog's shoulder for balance.
He looked like the gentlest of winds would knock him over. Kilowog didn't look any better; the alien looked shell shocked.
"Arley!" Arley's eyes flew to Katma. Where Hal and the others had frozen at the sight of her, bloody and unmoving, Katma had hit the ground running.
The Korugarian woman slid across the ground to where she, Superboy and Wally all were.
"Oh my girl," Katma whispered as she grabbed Arley's face between her hands. Slowly and then all at once, with all the speed of tenured Lanterns, the others began to move into action.
Kyle and Arisia began to fight the flames around the clearing as Barry and Laira moved both Wally and Superboy away from her so that Katma— and Kilowog, under Katma's instruction —could begin to work on her.
"That's right," Arley nodded to herself as she watched the scene before her with unblinking eyes, "You were a doctor."
Kilowog hovered over Katmas shoulder, bending his constricts to whatever Katma needed.
A ship landed on the outskirts of the clearing, closer to the fire than to the Bioship. Dick and Kaldur, Oliver, Bruce, Dinah, Manhunter, Wonder Woman, several other people Arley could vaguely remember reading about over the past few months— Teen Titans —all unloaded from the ship.
All of them were ignored by Artemis, M'gann and Dubbilex as they and the unconscious but young Roy Harper they were carrying, exited the bunker.
He was so young. He couldn't have been more than fifteen. Fourteen, more than likely.
Arley wondered when the Light had grabbed him; if it had been after Oliver Queen's public adoption of him, or if Savage had plucked a child from their home and used their clone like a sick and twisted puppet to dangle in front of Oliver until they got what they wanted.
Arley watched as Dubblix and M'gann knees buckled from the heat but never faltered as they rushed to Superboy.
"Roy!" Oliver shouted. He took off at a breakneck pace from the ship he'd exited from and ran towards Artemis and M'gann. Dinah was hot on his trail; her face had turned a sheet white.
Laira was trying to calm Superboy. Arley watched Laira— with a pinched expression of her own —as she explained that Katma would take care of her.
That Katma would save her.
"Arley is one of us, we care for our corpsmen, please just settle down, Katma and Kilowog have to focus right now, you can't get in their way."
Arley watched as Artemis pulled a knife on the Green Arrow, stopping him from stepping any closer.
"Back up!"
"Take it easy!" Oliver snapped back, his hands in the air but his eyes on Roy.
Laira and Superboy turned; through the mirror Nabu had conjured Arley watched as Superboy's eyes flickered to her body before he moved in front of Artemis and M'gann, shielding them from any incoming attack.
His arm was messily bandaged; Arley peered closer and saw that he had used his shirt and two unburnt sticks as a splint.
"The hell we will, M'gann clear him!" Artemis ordered. Pride bloomed throughout Arleys chest. "Arley—" there were tears in Artemis' eyes, "—I'm not letting just anyone get their hands on Speedy! Not after everything we've gone through to get him back! So back the fuck off!"
"Guy!" Katma yelled, her voice near hysterical, as the others from the ship began to crowd around, "We need bacta!"
"I'm not leaving her!" Guy snapped, he'd been standing by Arley's feet looking more and more unbalanced with every move Katma made.
"Guy!"
"I'll go," John said, roughly cutting off any further arguing, his eyes blazing and shoulders rolled back, "How much?"
"How much can you carry?"
"You can keep her stable until I get back?" The ground tended to soak up blood. Arley saw the puddle underneath herself; there was so much blood on Katma and Kilowog's uniforms.
There was blood on Wally and Superboy.
There was so much blood.
Arley was far more than just acutely aware that the blood she was watching stain everything, was her blood.
"I think so, but you need to be fast, she won't hold out long without actual medical care and I can't move her until she's stable." And with a meaningful look in her direction— it was pleading and sorrowful and angry and happy all at once —John blasted off.
"It's the real Green Arrow Artemis, he's good," M'gann said quietly. She was crying; her eyes were locked on Arley's body.
Arley couldn't help the knot that formed in her stomach as she noted how everyone was looking at her. The knot was in her stomach and chest and throat; she was angry and sad as she watched the Tamerian on Dicks team wrap her arm around him and Kaldur gripped Wally's shoulder, like at any moment he would collapse.
Like any of them cared.
Arley turned away from the scene before her and looked at Nabu. She couldn't help the sick feeling that rolled over her as she steadied her gaze on the Agent of Order.
"Why are you here?" She asked, "Why not just let me wake up wherever they have me?" Why bother with me?
The thought was bitter in Arleys head, it burned as it balanced on the top of her tongue. She didn't say it but from the saddened look in Nabus eyes it didn't seem like she needed to.
"We need to talk, last time we spoke you said you did not want to know your destiny, that it wasn't a concern of yours."
"It's not," Arley shrugged. Arley didn't know how her story ended because she already knew. If she wasn't dead yet she would be soon enough, there was no future for her that didn't involve what she already knew; pain and blood and suffering.
And death.
Nabu seemed to sigh at Arleys response and with a snap of the fingers a picnic table appeared from nothing. Nabu motioned for Arley to sit. She did, and as she did she noticed a door she hadn't seen before over Nabus shoulder.
Just like the table it had appeared out of nowhere.
"It is though. Arley Gluck you have seemingly given up on life."
"Why is that your business?" Arley asked, "Why is whether I'm done with the fight any of your fucking business."
"Because I am Doctor Fate and it is my duty to maintain the order of the universe but before that Arley Gluck, I am someone you promised justice for," Nabu replied, "My father killed me. He orchestrated my death, my children's deaths-the death of the woman I loved and the deaths of my kinsmen. He has blood on his hands that he must pay for."
"Then you make him!" Arley shouted, "I'm done! I'm tired, why do I have to fight him? Why do I have to bleed to get you or anyone else justice! Why am I less important, more-more fucking expendable!"
"Is that what you believe? Truly?" Nabu asked, his voice low. "You believe you are expendable?"
"I know it."
"Even after what I showed you?" Arley got to her feet shrugging.
"They didn't care before, they won't care later. If they buried me tomorrow almost all of them would be over it by the end of the week."
"But not all of them."
No, not all of them.
Not Hal or Guy or John or Kilowog or Katma. Not M'gann or Superboy or Dubbilex; they'd hold onto her. At least for a while before they moved on with their life's like the natural progression demanded.
But most. Most of them would move on and continue on with their lives without so much as a blink.
Dick would just save the world with his team; Arley doubted he'd even make the funeral. Heroics got in the way of daily life all the time and he had made it more than clear what he thought was more important than her.
Then their friendship.
Kaldur would tuck her away with his water barers once more the same way someone would pack away winter jackets or summer shorts. Maybe she'd pop up in the back of his mind from time to time but never more than that.
Roy wouldn't know her; Arley doubted she had ever known the real Roy Harper. And while the clone might come to her funeral and perhaps might miss her, he would do it out of pity and self loathing.
He'd forget she'd existed the same way he had been for years as he wrapped himself up on a blanket of self loathing. Not even her mourning period would be hers; it would be about his humanity and his self-worth and his coming to terms with what he was.
And Wally, he'd just continue on with his girlfriend. He'd go on dates with her and marry her one day; he'd live the life Arley had always pictured them having, with her and maybe he would talk about her whenever his childhood came up but Arley was sure that he wouldn't think of her anymore than he had been the past few years.
"Why do you care, Nabu? Really, this has to be more than just some sad camaraderie between your father's victims," Arley spit.
"Of course it is," Nabu drawled. "Like I said, I am Doctor Fate. I am an agent of order but I am nothing without my weapon."
"What?" Arley's brows drew together.
"What sword is forged without flame? What mace is made without being beaten and modeled? What is something the universe never dose Arley Gluck?" Nabu asked, rising with every word until he too was standing with his hands flat against the table top, learning over at Arley.
"I know you know the answer." Nabu turned his head to the mirror and Arley couldn't help but follow his line of sight.
Once more it was her.
She was ten and she'd just taken her first life on the job the week before. No one was talking to her about it; no one would talk to her about it.
The council of Guardians had applauded her for it initially. They'd all been so proud of her for doing her job and saving her fellow corpsmen and sector partner. They claimed she was finally showing the true makings of a Lantern; a warrior of willpower.
Hal and Guy wouldn't acknowledge what she'd done in order to save the red head. And Kilowog had simply given her a pat on the shoulder as he'd told her she'd "Done her job".
But the applause nor the reaffirming pat on the shoulder helped Arley from the nightmares that had come one after the other. It didn't stop the fact her hands hadn't stopped shaking since she'd severed the warlord's head.
None of it helped her. So taking refuge under the statue of Avra, the first Lantern, Arley tucked her hands under her armpits in hopes that would help them stop shaking and sat.
Maybe she was a fluke, Arley couldn't help but have thought. Maybe she should never have gotten her ring; maybe the ring found her by mistake.
Maybe becoming a Lantern was a mistake.
"Green Lanterns Arley, is that you?" Arley's glossy eyes snapped upwards and caught sight of Scar, one of the fifteen Guardians who sat on the council.
Scar had been one of the few Guardians to advocate for her when she'd gotten her ring. Despite her age and her humanity Scar had claimed that there was a reason her ring had picked her.
She'd claimed this had just meant Arley was meant for greatness.
Her mistake.
"Yes ma'am," Arley said, getting to her feet. Her heels clicked together as her trembling hands rested at her side.
As she blinked back her tears with a clenched jaw Arley tried clenching her hands into fists so that Scar wouldn't see them tremble as she floated down to Arley.
"Green Lanterns Arley," Scar said slowly her chin tipped upwards, "Are you alright?"
"Yes ma'am." The lie was instant. Scar's nose twitched, the Guardians lips tipped up into a smile as she twisted at the waist and looked at the statue of Avra.
"You know Lanterns Arley Gluck, you're not the first Green Lanterns to find solace in this statue, nor do I expect for you to be the last."
"I'm sorry ma'am, what?" Arley blinked.
"You're upset child, even though you lie it's clear as day," Scar replied.
"I'm-I'm sorry ma'am," Arley stammered, her heart in her throat as she found herself caught out in a lie. A tiny and inconsequential lie, but a lie to her superior all the same.
"For what?" Scar wondered, "Lying to me, or your tears?"
Arley felt her lips pressed together for a moment.
"Lying?" Scar pulled a face, her lips tugged downwards and her hairless brows creased like that wasn't the right answer. "Being sad?"
Scar waved Arley off as she turned her back to the young Lantern so that she could fully face the statue of Avra.
"He was a good man," Scar said a moment later after having studied the statue in a calculating sort of way, "So unsure of himself in the beginning. Do you know—" Scar turned her head to the side so that she could look at Arley through her peripheral vision?" "—Do you know why the other Guardians and I put this statue here as opposed to anywhere else in Oa?"
"No ma'am." Arley had never given it a single thought.
"Thank you for your honesty Green Lantern Arley Gluck." Arley hadn't noticed it at the time, back then she'd thought she was being chastised but now, through the mirror Nabu had conjured, Arley could see a smirk playing on the Guardians face, teasing her. "You see after his first true battle Avra came here. Back then Oa was not as big and this was nothing. It was just sand. I found him here. Like you, he was crying."
"He was?" It seemed so odd that someone— a legend; someone more myth and mystery than man —like Avra would cry over anything. He seemed so invincible.
The Book of Oa had made the first Lantern seem so perfect. So invulnerable.
"Of course he was, unlike the others the rings had chosen, Avra was not a soldier. He wasn't a warrior or a fighter of any kind, he was a scribe and he had come out of his first battle with more blood on his hands than most people ever have on theirs."
Arley's fingers that were clamped to her sides, curled into fists.
"Why did the ring choose him?" Arley asked, "He was just a scribe." That wasn't really her question but Arley couldn't get the words Why did the ring choose me? Out the same way she could get her question about Avra out.
"Why not?" Scar rebuked. "Do you think he was not worthy?"
"Of course not!" Arley responded before tacking on a quieter "Ma'am."
"Then what are you thinking Green Lantern Arley Gluck?"
"I-why would the ring choose a scribe? Why would it—"
"—Pick you out of everyone in your sector?" Arley nodded. "Because you are worthy."
"What if the ring made a mistake?" Arley asked so quietly she was almost inaudible.
"A mistake?" Scar scoffed, she smirked, "Green Lantern Arley Gluck you have read the Book of Oa, have you not?"
"Of course ma'am," Arley's brows creased, unsure of where her superior was going.
"What's something the universe does not do?"
"I'm sorry ma'am what?" Scar blew a hot puff of air out of her mouth in response to Arley's question.
"It's make a mistake, Green Lantern. The universe does not commit mistakes or accidents, what happens, happens because it was supposed to-that ring on your finger is supposed to be there. The ring that landed on Avras was supposed to be there."
"But why ma'am? Why us?"
"Why you?"
"Yes!"
"Because it was written so," Nabu said from where he stood.
"What?" Arley turned away from the memory and to Nabu. "What do you mean it was written so?"
"Some people are trusted into their roles by happenstance. The universe dose not make mistakes but some roles out there are left blank so that people can fumble their way into them by happenstance. You however, you were not plucked from some life and then thrust into a world far greater than yourself because you fit a mold, you were made for this. You were not just chosen for your role Arley Gluck, the universe crafted you by hand with a specific purpose in mind."
Arley felt her breath catch in her throat as she remembered the beatings, the nights when she was younger and went hungry. Liquid fire flooded through her as she recalled blood soaking her hands and uniform at ten and eleven and twelve. Her hands shook as she recalled the cell she'd been locked up and hidden away in for three years and everything that had been done to her in it.
"Are you telling me I've suffered because someone thought I'd what? Be able to handle it?"
"Weapons are not made—"
"—I AM NOT A FUCKING WEAPON!" Arley roared. "I was a little girl! I was a child! And I suffered for what? Because someone-something? Thought I'd make a great fucking punching bag?" Hot angry tears dotted the corners of her eyes, "I'm done Nabu, I'm over it."
"No," Nabu said in return, "You're not."
Arley threw her hands up, her fingers threaded themself through her hair and tugged.
"Why do you get to make that decision for me, huh? Why do you get to tell me when I can or can't throw in the towel?"
"Because I am an agent of Order. A warrior for the universe to facilitate itself through. Because," Nabu said softer, "We may not be friends, Arley Gluck, but you are someone I have found myself respecting and I will not watch you shoot yourself in the foot and take yourself out of the game just yet."
Though tears fell, wetting her face, Arley smiled At Nabu.
"I'm not taking myself out Nabu, I'm just following the natural progression of life. I mean what do you do with a gun that doesn't work or a sword that's shattered or a bow that's snapped in two?" Arley asked rhetorically.
"You fix them." Arley's brows came together; her answer had been to replace them. To throw the old ones out and make way for newer and better and not damaged weaponry.
"And if you can't? If they're too broken to be mended?"
"A sword with a shattered blade can still slit a man's throat. A gun that dose not shoot can still be used to bludgeon someone and a bow that is broken is able to gorot a man nonetheless," Nabu said as he stepped closer and closer to Arley.
The Agent of Order placed his hand on Arley's shoulder. "If it cannot be fixed, it doesn't mean it is worthless. Arley Gluck, you must live."
"It hurts though," Arley whispered. "Living, it feels like drowning. Like I'm trying to tread water and I just can't keep my head above long enough to get an actual breath in."
"I know Arley Gluck and I am sorry. Truly. If I could make your pain stop I would," Nabu swore and Arley believed him, she heard the promise in his voice.
"Nabu?" Arley asked, her eyes glossy with tears she'd been fighting to hold back.
"Yes?"
"Does it get better? Do I ever get to breathe?"
"Yes. Not soon though, and not for a while to be honest. A war must be won before weapons may be set down and retired."
"Ending Savage doesn't end this all, does it?" Why couldn't she just cut the head off the beast, hang it on her mantle and call it a day? Why couldn't she have peace?
"A hydra doesn't have one head anymore than an octopus has one arm or a puppet is able to stand on its own-there is more to the Light than just my father."
Arley looked up at Nabu. She knew about Sinestro; about how Savage was reaching for the stars but for him to be doing someone else's bidding— either willingly or unwittingly —caused the former Lanterns' innards to curdle.
"After the war, when all the dust is settled, are my people okay?" We're Hal and the others? Her team?
Wally? The boys?
They may not have cared about Arley but no matter how hard that fact of life beat down on her like a drum Arley cared for them.
She loved them with her seemingly forever beating heart because she didn't know how not to.
"You lose some, I will not lie, but where there is death there is life."
"Who?"
"I can't tell you that Arley Gluck, you're stubborn. You would sooner stand in fate's way than part with a loved one."
"Damn right!" Arley would let the world burn for her people.
"And that is why I like you." The door that had been behind Nabu shot open with a loud bang and Arley clutched at the Agent of Orders arm.
The door moved, it rushed at Nabu and Arley.
"Nabu I'm not fucking kidding, who dies!" And like the whale in Pinocchio, the door swallowed Arley whole, throwing her forward and back.
And into a bed.
"Son of a bitch," Arley wheezed as she tried to sit in the bed she'd been placed in.
Sirens and alarms around Arley— altering everyone and their mother that, wherever she was, something was amiss —blared as she began to shift her weight in the bed so that as she sat up, she could rip the nasal oxygen tube that's been wrapped around her head off, and throw it to the floor.
Arley couldn't help but frown as she bent her left arm. The IV line she'd hadn't noticed immediately when she'd woken up, uncomfortably pressed against the crook of her elbow; the needle having wiggled from the place it'd initially been inserted.
"Respect my ass," Arley grumbled as she looked around the room she'd been placed in. "Fucker."
Arley couldn't help her vitals spiking as she realized she didn't know where the room she was in, was.
Her throat tightened. Waking up in Cadmus labs, strapped to a table with Psimon and Sportsmaster standing over flashed through her mind.
She wasn't strapped down but still; she had no idea where she was.
She knew she wasn't on the watchtower; the sky— not deep and dark space —outside the floor to ceiling windows was blue. The room she'd been placed in looked like a hospital room.
The room looked sterile; the floor and walls were white. Her medical charts were digital and on display above and behind her bed reminding Arley of something she'd see on another planet and not Earth where Arley was sure HIPPA was still a thing.
There were also four other hospital beds in the room to her left and the floor to ceiling windows to her right. The other beds though, while they weren't stripped of sheets, had thin linens lining them. Arley's palm pressed against the heavy knitted quilt that had been trapped over her.
The corner of Arley's lips flickered up; someone had thought while she'd been out that she would get cold.
It had to have been Katma, before the Light had taken her Katma had been learning how to knit and after so many years away Arley was sure the Lanterns had learned to knit a blanket by now.
Arley began to slip her IV line out of her arm when the door or the hospital room she was in opened and a teenager wearing tan pants and a purple jacket stepped into the room.
Arley didn't do as much as blink at the teenager's green skin and pointed ears; years in the Corps had desensitized her from the fact different species tended to look so different from one another. She did however tensen as he beamed at her whilst closing the door behind him.
While Arley was pretty sure she knew him from somewhere the hair on her arms still stood on end as the teen— who wasn't much younger than her —walked further into the room and closer to her.
"Dude, you're awake!"
"Yeah, I am."
"And you're sitting up!" He spoke loud enough Arleys eyes narrowed at him. It was like he wasn't speaking at her or to her, but for the benefit of someone else.
The space under Arleys skin began to crawl and though the young green skinned man was quick to shut off the blaring alarms and loudly beeping machines, Arley's own mind began to go on high alert.
DANGER! WARNING!
RUN!
"Yeah, I am," Arley said again instead of bolting.
"How are you feeling?" The younger man asked, this time lower as he grabbed Arley's arm between his hands and slipped her IV out.
"Fine." The younger man's brow arched.
"Dude you got an arm run through your middle."
"And?" It wasn't even the worst to be done to her. Sure it hurt but if had been quick and she'd bleed out even quicker; Sportsmaster had always taken his time with her.
He hadn't just made it hurt but he had always made sure she could endure more.
"Intense," the teenager said as he reached to the side table next to Arley's bed— Arley tensioned, ready to fight the younger joy off with nothing more than her bare hands —and grabbed a tiny flashlight. "Do you mind looking at me for a minute dude?"
Biting back a snarl, Arley did and the green teen grabbed Arley's chin between his fingers, just like Doc Thompkins always had when assessing if Arley was concussed.
"What happened to Roy, where's he?" Arley wondered.
"Green Arrow took him to Start City, said he wanted him close to home."
"And my team?" Arley asked. "Why are you here?"
"Batman didn't want you overwhelmed by everyone and Nightwing says I have pretty good bedside manner so Kyle said I should come in when you woke up."
So many names she knew. Arley looked at the younger man.
He was just talking. And yet despite all his talking and name dropping, he hadn't answered her question about her team and their whereabouts.
"Right," Arley nodded. "Can you get my team for me? I need to make sure they're okay."
"Dude, you're the one that gored by a robot!"
"And?" Arley blinked, "They're my team." The green skinned young man smiled at Arley so bright it almost burned.
"You know Nightwing always said you were kickass but woah!"
"What?" Arley blinked, her mind begining to swirl.
He hadn't told her where her team was.
"Right you've been gone awhile-Nightwings Robin."
"I know that," Arley snapped harsher than she'd meant to, "I meant when the hell did Dickie tell you I was kickass?"
"Oh," the green skinned teenager— Raven? He was on Dicks team but Arley couldn't recall his name —said. "I don't know, years ago probably. I used to grill Nightwing on the heroes he knew. I was a member of Doom Patrol before I joined the Titans and whenever he was tracking down leads on you—"
Whatever Dicks teammate had said after telling Arley that the former Boy Wonder would track down leads on her whereabouts had fallen on deaf ears because her initial awakening in Light clutches played at the forefront of her mind.
Wally with glowing green eyes and a panicked voice; "Wake up!"
Nabu had sent her back to fight. He'd rallied her so as not to allow herself to lay down and just roll over when she came to admit this myriad of lies.
Savage had her. The League was infiltrated; Roy's clone had said it was just him but it wasn't. It couldn't be.
Katma had saved her life and she had been captured once more.
Arley's heart rate spiked.
History may not repeat but it often rhymes, and yet as she realized she was once more in the Lights clutches, Arley felt fifteen all over again.
She had been made for this. Crafted to suffer and suffer, endlessly.
"Dude are you—" an urgent knock came from the door and just as Dicks teammate rested his hand on Arley's shoulder and turned his head towards the door, Arley jumped into action.
She crashed her elbow into the side of the green teenager's head; he bounced off of her elbow and the wall with a yelp as Arley stood from the bed.
She'd been made to fight until her teeth and lungs were just as bloody as her knuckles and her legs could no longer carry herself or the weight that had been given to her years ago.
She threw off the finger monitor that had been monitoring her pulse. The green teen had been starting to get up and rise to his feet when Arley grabbed the back of his dark green hair and slammed his forehead against the metal sidebars of the bed she'd been in.
The door handle began to turn, "Stay out!" Arley shouted as she searched through the same side table Dicks teammate had gotten the flashlight.
She grabbed a scalpel.
"Arley?" It sounded like Hal. He sounded worried and concerned. Arley squeezed her eyes shut. She had to remind herself it wasn't. This was another trick of the Light. "Arley are you and Beast Boy okay? What's going on in there?"
Arley's eyes opened and as she scanned the room for an escape route her bottom lip quivered. She needed to wake up.
"Arle—"
"—Stay out there or I'll fucking kill him!" None of it was real. Nothing was real. She needed to wake up.
WAKE UP! Arley told herself. She hit herself once in the head with a closed fist, and then a second and third time but when she opened her eyes and still found the walls of the room she'd supposedly woken up in and Hal and Guy— Arley's knees shook at the sound of Guy Gardner calling her "Nightlight" —trying to get her to calm down.
Vandal Savage had her.
If he had her then something had happened to her team.
Panic turned to anger and that quickly warped into an almost homicidal rage as she thought of Superboy back in his pod and M'gann back on a lab table, cut open and studied while bits of her were harvest for the Lights nefarious purposes all while Artemis and Dubbilex had to be dead.
Her friends were dead. The others and herself captured.
Arley's hands shook.
Fight smart, not hard and you'll live to see another day.
But Arley didn't want to live, especially without her team.
Not without her family.
"Arley we're coming in—"
"—Shut up!" Arley screeched; she couldn't breathe. She had to. She'd promised Superboy a life; she'd sworn to M'gann that she'd be okay. "You're not fucking real, so shut up and tell Savage to suck my dick!"
Arley looked at the linens lining the beds and the floor to ceiling windows and how they were spaced.
"Arley, please you're-you're not okay," Hal said as Arley flipped the wheels of one hospital bed up. "You need to listen—" She flipped the wheels of another hospital bed up.
"—What I need is my fucking team! I don't know who the fuck you are—" Arley tied the sheets in the room together before tying them to the bed she placed next to one of the windows.
"—But when I get out of here and find out, you are so dead, do you hear me! You and Savage and rest of the fucking Light—" Arley backed up across the room and running as fast as she could, she threw the bed at the window, sending it straight through.
"Arley!" The door flew open, it hit the wall with a resounding bang, and Arley grabbed the shoddily made rope of sheets she'd thrown together and with her heart in her throat, she jumped through the window she had just smashed.
Only to crash through the window underneath the room the Light had made her think she'd woken up in.
Glass cut into Arleys arms as she rolled out a long the floor and into her feet as she stood, scalpel bared and ready for a fight.
"Holy shit!" She turned, despite the pain in the soles of her feet and saw two people. One of them was the Tamerian Arley could remember seeing from the mirror Nabu had shown her.
She was beautiful, even if she wasn't real.
And the other was a young man made up of cybernetic parts; he had a glowing red eye.
Before Arley had gotten far— or anywhere at all —the door to the room Arley had thrown herself through opened. Several people— Dick and Wally and Batman at the forefront of the small crowd —entered the room while Hal and Guy and Kilowog all hovered in the window, cornering her.
Arley's heart rate spiked as she held the scalpel out in front of her the way she would a knife.
Hal set down in the room she was in, his hands out in front of himself placatingly.
"Arley, kid—"
"—Shut up! You're just another trick damnit!" Everyone got closer.
"Arley," Dick tried, "This isn't a trick. This is real."
"No-no it's not! My team's—"
"—On their way," Bruce said, "Manhunter was showing Dubblix and M'gann his apartment, he wants them to have rooms there. And Superman took Superboy to Smallville. The Kent's wanted to meet him."
"And Artey you lying sack of shit?" Arley snapped, the small of her back hit a yellow topped counter. "If the rest of my team is just so conveniently out, where is she?"
She was cornered.
This was it.
"Artemis and Dinah went to find her sister. Apparently Cheshire's been in Jump City for a while now. Artemis wanted to bring her on board."
"Yeah right!" Artemis didn't hate her sister despite her sisters criminal ties to Ra's. Arley knew that. Arley also knew she had impeccable mental fortitude which made her wonder how the Light also knew that.
Shouldn't they have assumed Artemis hated her sister the way she hated her father? Had they gone through Artemis' mind the way they'd done with Roy?
When Arley woke up would she find someone with Artemis' smile and face and memories but not her? Not the same Artemis Arley cared deeply about?
"Arley," Wally whispered, "It's true, please listen to Hal, you need to calm down. Your team is on their way, we sent an alert to them when you woke up."
Wally Rudolph West looked liked shit. His skin was pasty and his hair was oily, like he hadn't showered in days. He had deep, dark and heavy circles under his eyes.
He moved on. He didn't look for her. Arley had dreamed of him rescuing her, that had been the only thing that had gotten her through those years in her cell but he hadn't.
Because he had moved on.
But he didn't lie to her. He'd woken her up the last time.
Arley squeezed her eyes tightly.
When you die in a dream you wake up in real life. Her eyes shot up her heart hammered.
Wally had woken her up last time.
He wasn't doing that this time though; last time he'd grabbed her almost bruisingly. Last time he had said he loved her and only wanted to protect her.
He—Arley brought the scalpel to her throat.
"No!" Several voice screamed. Tears started cascading down Arley's face, she could feel them as her eyes shut.
They were burning cold against her hot face.
"I'll wake up!" Arley told herself, trying to will herself to drag the thin blade of metal across her throat, "I'll find them, I'll find them and kill Savage."
"Arley!" Wally's voice was louder, "You're already awake! This is real!"
Wally didn't lie. Not to her. But he had to be lying. He had to be a figment of her imagination.
"Shut up!"
"No! I'm not letting you do this, Arley look at me!" She didn't. She heard glass being crushed under someone's foot and Arley pressed harder against her own skin.
She had to be strong. For her team.
She had to—the blade wasn't gone. It was still pressed against her throat but a hand was on Arley's forearm; a body was pressed against hers.
She opened her eyes and Wally West was only a hair's breadth away from her.
He was older. He still had the same freckles she'd fallen asleep counting years ago and a nose she had loved to kiss because when he bent his head down to her it was what she could reach.
He still had the most amazing green eyes.
"Arley," he whispered, "You're awake. This is real. I'm real."
"You can't be," she said just as softly. If he was real he wouldn't be there with her. If he were real he wouldn't care.
None of them would.
Not him or Dick or Kaldur and yet they were all there with her.
Her head hurt almost as much as her heart.
Everything hurt. This was why she hadn't wanted to wake, why she wouldn't have minded if she had died in Yellowstone.
Wally grabbed Arley's other hand and pressed it against his chest. She could feel his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest.
It was the same sound that she used to relax to when she and him used to lay out together on the Coast City Beach together. It was the sound she still craved even after everything.
Even after knowing she wasn't allowed to anymore.
It was steady and true.
And it— Arley looked up at Wally, the scalpel faltering from its spot against her jugular —was real.
"My team?" Arley whispered.
"I promise, they'll be here soon. They're safe, Arley," Wally said her name with the type of revenue people prayed in, "You're safe."
Safe. She hadn't been safe in years. She never would be again. Savage was alive. The Light was active; Wally's hand moved from her forearm and cupped the side of Arley's face.
She couldn't help but lean into it.
Nor could she help but sob as the scalpel dropped, clattering against the tile flooring as she leaned into Wally. His fingers threaded through her hair as she rested her entity against his being.
"I got you," Wally promised as he swept her up into his arms. "God I got you."
He said it like a promise. Like he would never let her go again.
Wally West didn't lie, not to Arley but as he lead her out of the room, Arley knew he had to be.
He couldn't still want her.
He had moved on. He had let go a long time ago.
…
When Arley had been brought back to the hospital room she had more or less destroyed in her escape, the hospital bed she had tied the linens to had been pushed back into its original place and the teen— Beast Boy, Hal had called him —was laid out onto said bed.
Arley ignored the glare she was getting from the purple haired teen that hovered at Beast Boys bedside. Dick stayed next to his teammates but his gaze was on Arley.
She could feel it and Wally's gazes boring into her. Wally had been pulled away by Kaldur so that Katma could have easy access to work on Arley.
Katma fluttered around Arley rubbing bacta onto the cuts on her arms and feet after picking it the shards that Arley had stepped on; "You need to be more careful Arley," Katma had said softly, "We-none of us, can lose you again."
Arley just blinked and kept her eyes focused on the tile flooring of the room.
She was back. With Lanterns galore surrounding her— it wasn't just Kilowog and her dad's and Katma but Laira and Arisa, Tomar and Ch'p —Arley knew she was safe.
That she was home. And yet her heart beat loudly in her ears and everything in her body told her to run. That she needed to get out.
"Hey kid," John said, Arley didn't look up at him— she couldn't; this was real but none of it felt real, none of it could be —but her brows arched up and together. "You must be pretty hungry, you were out for a while, anything in particular you want?"
"No," Arley whispered. She was back. "I'm fine. Not hungry, thanks."
Was this how ghosts felt? Out of time and out of place, surrounded by familiar places and faces but knowing they didn't belong in the slightest.
Arley knew the girl they wanted her to wake up was dead. Arley knew she wasn't her anymore; she couldn't even say she wore that girl's face anymore.
Arley touched her scar.
"I'm sorry," Katma said, her eyes sad, despite the small smile she was wearing, "It's been so long, there was nothing we could do about it."
"It's fine," Arley murmured, still not looking at anyone in the room. Still ignoring there stares and the burning in her gut that was telling her to run, "I didn't expect you to."
She hadn't expected to wake up but even when she had— when she'd thought about life after the fight —Arley had never imagined her scars being gone. They were a part of her now.
"Arley," Hal said almost pleadingly, "Look at us. Please."
And she wanted to. But if she did, everything would become real. She'd be able to see the years on their faces just as they could see them on hers.
They'd see that the girl they wanted to wake up was dead and gone, never to return.
The door opened; "Arley?"
Arleys hazel eyes flew to the opened door.
M'gann. It had to be; she looked human— dark skin and braided hair —but Arley knew that voice. M'gann was wearing a baby pink blouse and skirt that reminded Arley of the Heathers movie and Dubbilex hovered right over the Martian girls shoulder; his usually worn hood missing and drawn down.
"Megs?" Slowly M'gann's disguise melted away until a pale white Martian girl with no hair and a protruding brow bone was left standing in the doorway. "You're okay!"
Arley moved; despite several sounds of protests and the pain in her feet, Arley threw herself from the bed and into her friends arms, wrapping them tightly around the Martian. M'gann hugged her back just as tightly.
"You're okay!" Arley said again, this time into M'gann's shoulder.
"Of course we are," M'gann laughed, her fingers twisting into Arleys hair, "You were the one that got hurt-Arley," M'gann said quieter, with tears in her eyes, "You almost died."
"I'm sorry."
"You can't leave us like that," M'gann said as she made room for Dubbilex in their hug. Arley wasted no time in accommodating the genomorph; her arm went around Dubbilex's shoulders whilst M'gann's looped around his waist.
"I won't," Arley said, "I promised you guys safety—"
"—Not for us Arley," Dubbilex said, "You can't leave us like that because we care about you."
Heat rippled across Arley's face. Unsure how to respond to the genomorph's claim, the former Lantern just squeezed her teammates tightly before letting go at the sight of the Man of Steel and his clone, Superboy.
Arley could see blonde behind the two Kryptonians.
Despite the residual pain in the bottom of her feet Arley ran at Superboy who also ran at her. Arms wrapped tightly around one another; Arley wrapped her arms around the clone's middle while only one of his was wound around her shoulders. The other was snaked around her waist.
"You're here," Superboy breathed into Arleys hair. She could feel his nose pressing against the top of her head.
"Of course I am," Arley smiled as she pulled back, she moved— despite Superboys clear reluctance to move —so that she had Superboys arm in her hands. "It's healed?"
Superboy nodded, "Once Clark—" Superboy motioned to Superman, "—Got it set I healed pretty quick."
Arley looked at Superman and her brows shot up. He hadn't changed much, there were no new streaks of grey or wrinkles; no what cause Arley's brows to shoot upwards was the ugly yellow-green flannel the Man of Steel wore.
"Kryptonians heal pretty fast," Superman added. "It's nice to see you again, Arley. I'm glad you're home." He smiled kindly at Arley so much so that her eyes dropped down away from the aliens face and to the floor.
Home.
Home had never been a place for Arley, as a child trapped in the system and then a Lantern in the Corps always on the move, it wasn't a luxury she could afford. Home had always been the people that meant most to her and for years that had been the boys.
Had once been Wally.
But her home wasn't her home anymore. It hadn't been in years if those internet new articles were anything to go off of.
"Thanks," Arley murmured, she felt Superboy place a hand on her shoulder only for it to be ripped away when Arley was tackled.
And though Arley's initial instincts were to fight she froze at the sound of a handful of different, chastising voices calling out "Artemis!"
Despite the sound of feet rushing forward undoubtedly ready to help both of them up, Arley wrapped her arms around the blonde and squeezed.
What Nabu had shown her in the mirror played through the forefront of Arley's mind; pride flowed through the former Lantern as she remembered Artemis taking charge of their team and protecting them and Roy.
"Hey." Arley could feel Artemis' smile against her ear.
"Hey." The two girls pulled back from one another; Artemis was on her knees in front of Arley while Arley sat half up, her legs bent and her elbows holding her up.
"Bats said you were seeing your sister?" Artemis nodded and turned; at the end of the hallway, next to Dinah— who Arley barely looked at —there was a young woman older than herself, and with a Kabuki mask tied to her hip.
"This is Jade," Artemis introduced; Jade took several steps forward and Superboy followed. He hovered behind Artemis' sister as the older woman crouched down so that she was eye level with Artemis and Arley.
Arley could taste the tension in the air coming off of the heroes that were crowded around the door frame of the hospital room.
"Jade, this is Arley."
"Artemis tells me you're planning on kicking our old man's ass," Jade said. Her voice was rough.
"I'm planning on taking his fucking head," Arley corrected. Jade smirked at Arley's words; Superboy snickered into the palm of his hand behind the older woman.
"And here that's what I was planning."
"Great minds think alike."
Jade's eyes narrowed and she leaned closer. Arley knew what the older woman was looking at; she pressed her right middle and index fingers against the scar on her face.
"I was sixteen," Arley said as she looked at her knees. If she didn't focus on the people around her then it was like they weren't really there and she wasn't really telling them. "My mother had just died and he wanted me to have something to remember her. She was one of the Joker's victims."
"I'll kill him," Arley heard Guy seethe, but her focus was on Jade who was rolling one sleeve of her dress up. "I swear to God I'll fucking do it!"
There were four cigar burns.
Artemis looked away.
"He doesn't even smoke," Jade said humorously.
"It's bad for the lungs," Arley quoted Sportsmaster. The scars on her back didn't hurt anymore, but some nights when she couldn't sleep Arley could recall how they had burned.
Jade nodded in understanding before she stood. She stuck out her arm for both Artemis and Arley to take; they did and when they were standing Arley noticed how Jade wasn't much taller than her.
Arley turned to Artemis, though she nodded at Jade, "You spoke to the others?"
"That's why I went to get her."
Arley smirked. "Welcome to the team."
"Do I have to call you boss?"
"God no." Arley looked at Superboy and the turned to M'gann and Dubbilex, "Show Jade where to put her stuff on the ship while I get dressed."
"We're leaving?" Superboy asked surprised.
"What?" Hal took three steps forward before Arley could answer, "No, no you're not."
Arley didn't look at her adoptive father. "We should, any alert you sent to the team could have been intercepted and Savage could know I'm awake. It's better to strike when he's still unsure and unsuspecting."
If they hit him while he was still collecting his bearings— figuring out if she was a live and awake —then they had an upper hand.
"And how the hell do you plan on doing that without a ring?" Arley's eyes narrowed at the wall she was staring at.
She had an idea on how to bring Savage down with her ring.
"Arley you told Kyle yourself, Savage is working with Sinestro. You can't fight him, not with the people he has at his side. Not alone."
"I won't be alone!" Arley looked at Hal. For the first time since she awoke, Arley looked at Hal.
He looked old. There was gray in his hair and wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead. Though it had only been three years Hal looked as if it had been a decade and yet despite the years not being kind to him, he didn't look different.
His eyes were still kind and his laugh lines still deep. He still looked like the Hal she knew.
Arley's fists clenched at her side, "I won't be alone," she said softer, "I have my team. I have allies."
"Yeah kid, us," Hal said.
"No." Hal's face crumbled.
"Arley, how can you even think that, I-we love you, we're here for you." But he wasn't. He was there for the girl that disappeared. That died. The one she left behind in that cell under the rubble of Cadmus' Laboratories.
He would shirk at the person she had become. When they all saw she was no longer worthy of the ring they would flinch at her bloody demeanor.
"Arley," Artemis wrapped her hand around the scared girl's wrist, "Fight smart, not hard, right?" Arley just blinked, "It's smart to fight with the League, surprise or not."
"She's right," Dubbilex chimed in, "This is war Arley, we need any and all help we can get. Staying here and using the League to help us end the Light, it would be best."
Safest.
Dubbilex meant staying with the League would be safest. And he was more than right; even if it hurt Arley— even if every second in the Tower around people who were only waiting for a dead girl to come back to life felt like razor wire digging and digging into her heart —objectively she knew it was the right decision.
Superboy had been in Smallville. Batman had said M'gann and Dubbilex had been with Manhunter because he was opening his house to them.
They needed to live after this.
Nabu's promise of one day things getting better fluttered through Arleys mind.
It felt like another lie she was being fed, one to make her nice and playable for a fight that she'd been made to— burnt and beaten and molded —fight in.
"Fine," Arley hissed behind clenched teeth, "We'll stay." Hal, nor anyone looked released; if anything Hal looked more stressed.
Arley's nails bit into the center of her palm as she looked at M'gann.
"Are my clothes on the ship because if I stay in this—" Arley motioned to the medical gown she'd been put in, "—Any longer, I'll scream."
She was going to scream for other reasons anyway; everyone kept looking at her like they were readying themselves for something. Like they expected her to do something.
All Arley wanted to do was hit something. All she wanted was to claw at her own chest and tear out her hemorrhagic heart so that she could bare it for everyone to see; they wanted the girl she used to be and Arley almost— there was a small part of her twisting away in her stomach —wanted them to hurt when she showed them the proof that the girl they wanted her to be was dead, never to come back.
She almost wanted them to hurt like her.
"No, they're not." M'gann answered, "We moved everything out of the Bioship and to our room a few days after we got here. Your stuff included."
Arley couldn't help but shift at the announcement of a few days. She warmed at the fact M'gann hadn't said her room, but rather their room.
After so many months of the three then the four then the five of them all— and Wolf —bunking together it would have been weird if Arley had a room all to herself.
The last room she'd been alone in had been her cell.
"How long was I out for?" Arley wondered, tucking her hands under her arms.
"Almost two weeks," Superboy answered.
"Fuck," Arley swore as she nodded. Arley licked her lips, "Whatever it doesn't matter. Megs?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you show me our room? I want to change."
"Of course Arley." And then M'gann was leading her down the hall. Arley could feel everyone's stare into her back with every step she took.
Arley wondered as they walked, if she did rip her own heart out of her chest, would the weight that sat upon it still be there as she held it up for the universe to see the horrors it'd inflicted upon her.
Or was she the dead weight compressing the bleeding organ.
Was whatever was left of that girl— the girl they all wanted to wake up —what was crushing her heart and would carving it out herself rescue it from that girls remnants?
Arley didn't turn around as she and M'gann turned the corner.
Not that she didn't want to. God did she.
But she knew, it wasn't her they wanted and so there was no point in looking back at them when she knew it— Arley could feel it in her bones —as soon as they realized that too, they would all leave her behind, no different then what they'd been doing these past few years.
Notes: AND SHE'S AWAKE AND THE INITIAL REUNITING HAS HAPPENED! So obviously it's sad and Arley is angry at everything, but what did we all think?
I've had this Nabu scene in my head for months; I mean Fate telling Arley she's nothing more than "Daddy's blunt little weapon"???
That was my favorite.
As was her break out scene, Wally talking her off the proverbial ledge. (Originally it wasn't supposed to be a proverbial ledge he talked her off but I don't know, I liked this version better).
Anyway what was your favorite scene in this chapter??? What are you hoping to see next chapter when I go more in depth on Arley being back???
Anyway, until next time!