Wade didn't consider himself a light sleeper. Being the middle child of three in a city condo, he was used to noises and had accustomed to tuning out the ambience of the night. There were mornings where his own alarm clock didn't stir him from his sleep. What reason did he have to stay on-guard through the dark hours? Bottom line, when he slept, he slept good.
Tonight, all it took to wake him was a gentle hand touching his face and the quiet sobs of the woman lying next to him.
His eyes opened slowly, his vision adjusting to the shining light that was Ember. Her glowing aura stood out from the darkness that surrounded them. She wore a pained expression which crushed a suffocating weight on his chest that made it impossible to breathe. Her glossy eyes, those beautiful orange eyes, they stared at him with a longing, desperate gleam; one he wouldn't have recognized had he not seen it already.
The past week hadn't been an easy ride. Repairing all the damage in Firetown caused by the mass flood was proving to be an incredibly draining process. But the Fire people found great comfort in the fact they weren't going to be making these repairs alone. Wade and his family insisted on helping, physically and financially. The Lumens had tried declining all their offers to pay for damages in The Fireplace, but in the end Water people proved to be quite obstinate in the matter—especially Wade. He was always eager to help Ember in any way he could, and this time was no different.
Slow progress was still progress. Over the course of six days, they'd managed to accomplish more than they expected. Almost all the pipes had been fixed, and repairing broken walls and sweeping up water from the basement was much easier to do as a group. It was actually quite nice, seeing as how the Lumens and Ripples were getting along well, so much so they could even consider each other friends. Surprising, considering how much disdain Bernie had for Water people not long ago. But when one of them saves your daughter in a life-or-death situation, that prejudice tends to be re-thought.
Amidst all of the shared laughs and family bonding, Wade had noticed that something wasn't right. Ember's mood was...off. Her smiles were forced and she was strangely quiet during conversations. She would barely speak more than five words at a time. But what truly set him on edge was the way she looked at him. Whenever he caught her sneaking a glance from across the room, or even when they kept full eye-contact throughout a discussion, he would notice something wasn't right. There was a certain glimmer absent from her eyes. Her gaze resembled that of someone looking at a stranger, or even a ghost. It was admittedly unsettling to see.
It wasn't until three days ago, when Ember had persuaded him to start staying with her at night—which took a bit of convincing her parents as well—when he would discover the reason for it all. She claimed it was for convenience, to save him the trip from the city and back every day.
But that night, he was awoken by the sound of sniffles, and opened his eyes to discover the woman he loved bawling her eyes out right next to him, rocking herself back and forth against the bed. He didn't think twice before pulling her into his embrace. It had taken her a moment to fully accept his affection, but once she did, a wall had come crashing down in her mind and all emotion broke loose. It was the most he'd ever seen her cry.
And he would continue to witness it every night since.
Wade smiled weakly as he placed his own hand over hers placed atop the side of his face. Oh, how he loved her touch. It was warm and tingling, yet tender and soft all at once. He could never get exhausted by it, not even now, when the reason she was touching him was to ensure that he was actually, truly right in front of her.
"Ember, it's okay." His voice, soft and smooth as ever, spoke to her in a reposeful whisper. "I'm here."
She shut her eyes in response, breathing unsteadily onto his chest as her head had bowed meekly. Within the pitch black of her eyelids, she could still see the images of that day playing on a haunting loop; Wade's bubbling body and the hot steam surrounding him as he evaporated into thin air, all while there was nothing she could do but sit and wait. Wait for him to die. Wait to be found by her family.
Ember would never forget the feeling of him holding her in his arms, her head buried in his chest while they waited for the inevitable. There, Wade was dying, and he still found the effort to comfort her. His last moments were with her. His last thoughts were of her. His last words were to praise her and her everlasting beauty.
She could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him. She could somehow change the entire world for the better and he would still be too good for her. Wade had given her his heart, he had trusted her with his unconditional love, and what did she do to repay him? She took his life.
One doesn't sit in a dark, empty room for hours after losing the love of their life and simply forget it ever happened. Everyone else might've thought she was okay, checking up on her well-being every now and then just in case. But Wade knew better. He was the only one who would ever know just how badly the events truly broke her.
Ember may have built up walls, but Wade knew how to bring them down. He knew how to get her to open up, he just had to approach this gently. And most of all, he had to be patient, but persistent.
"Ember, look at me." He raised his other hand to her chin and delicately lifted her face towards him. "Please, love, open your eyes and look at me."
She hesitated for what seemed like an entire minute, fighting back tears as his words echoed in her ears. She was terrified to even think about opening her eyes, scared of what she may find in front of her. If Wade wasn't there when she did, it might actually destroy her.
But eventually, she gathered the little strength she had left and complied. The relief in her face was subtle but apparent, however the cascade of melted fire droplets down her face didn't cease. Wade never thought it could hurt so much to see someone cry, but the shattered pieces of his heart proved otherwise.
"It's okay." He spoke again, inching his face closer to hers ever so slightly. "You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
Normally his words brought her solace, and every night it was the same routine. Ember would wake up crying from a bad dream, or she wouldn't even sleep at all and break down from memories alone. Wade would wake up almost right away and whisper sweet nothings to her until she drifted back to a peaceful slumber.
But not tonight. Something was different and neither of them could determine why, but the reason for it didn't matter. Ember looked more wounded than ever before. She was trembling like her light could burn out any second. Her thoughts were spiraling out of control and she couldn't stop herself from falling down a pit of despair. Her mind was at war with itself, fighting back and forth between "he's real, he's right in front of me, he's safe, he's alive," and "he's dead, I'm just imagining it, he died and it's all my fault."
Her flame slowly dimmed as she suddenly burst into another fit of tears, her glow faded to that of a dying candle. Wade instantly pulled her into him, running a soothing hand down the small of her back while he protectively tucked her head beneath his chin. "Shh, shh, it's alright." He repeated over the sounds of her aching sobs, "It's alright, Ember. I'm here, let it out."
Let it out. Something she never used to allow herself to do. Something she would scold herself for. Wade was the only one who didn't antagonize her for her emotions, but why? Her outbursts were often aimed at him and he still encouraged her to express those deep-seated feelings to him? God, she loathed herself even more.
Still, with the condition she was currently in, there was no point in burying her thoughts any further. Soon she managed to find her words, and with a heavy sob she finally asked;
"Why don't you hate me?"
That made his water run cold. "What..?" He slowly broke from their hug to face her again, his expression perfectly conveyed his bewilderment.
This time Ember was able to maintain eye contact, but her next words only continued to break what remained of his heart. "It's my fault that everything happened.. it's my fault you died. I killed you.." She choked on a sob, "How can you still love me after all of that?"
Wade's frown was a mix of shock and sorrow. The pang in his chest continued to agonize him, but he knew his pain was nowhere near what Ember was going through. Her scars were far more severe. Her mind was plagued by guilt and had convinced her that she was a murderer, which couldn't be farther from the truth. But what could he say to convince her otherwise? Her fragile state of mind wouldn't listen to reason, she wouldn't believe anything he had to say.
Nevertheless, he had to try. One of them had to be strong in this situation and right now Ember just didn't have that strength. But she'd already been so strong for so many years, it was only fair that he take that role now.
Wet, gentle hands cupped her face and wiped her tears from beneath her eyes. Their gazes met, Wade's full of determination and sympathy, while Ember's still lacked a certain light that he missed so dearly. "Ember, you didn't do anything. You were only doing what you thought was right. You were protecting your family's legacy—"
"But that's not more important than your life!" Ember cried harshly, gritting her teeth as if something had stabbed her in the chest.
Wade continued, completely dismissing her rebuttal, "My choices are mine and mine alone. Whatever happens to me is not your doing, it's mine. I chose to come back, I chose to put my life on the line."
She wasn't having it. Her light continued to dim, at this point she looked as if she might snuff out completely. "But you only did it to help me..." She argued weakly, shaking her head. "Everything you've ever done was to help me, and I— I never.. I just.." Frustration took over for a brief second, before the sorrow returned at full force. "I don't understand how you can love me..."
He let out a soft chuckle in response, hoping to lighten the mood even just a little. "Then you must not know me or yourself very well." Seeing no reaction to his joke had him retreat from the playful mood immediately, but his smile remained as he stared into her eyes with familiar adoration. "Ember, you are everything I've ever wanted. You really don't understand just how much you've changed my life. You make it worth living! And if I can return the favor, then I'll be the happiest man alive."
He made sure to put emphasis on that last part. Alive. Because that's what he was, and Ember had to know that now. She had been driven mad with grief, she still didn't know what was real and what was just her mind playing tricks. Hell, there were times where she refused to believe any of this was real and that a single blink of an eye will cause her to return to the hearth where she spent her last moments with him.
But Wade would make sure she knew real from fake. He would remind her as often as he had to that he was, indeed, still alive and well. It didn't matter how many nights he had to spend waking up to her crying, how many of her breakdowns he had to witness. He would hold her and assure her that he was still here, and that he loved her with all that he had.
Ember's lip quivered as she reached another precipice of tears. "Wade.. I'm sorry." Was all she could say in response. Her voice was giving out and she honestly didn't have the strength to continue fighting him on this. She was so tired.
Wade placed a light kiss over her face just between her brows before pulling her into a tighter, more secure hold, pouring all his love and assurance into the simple display of affection. "Shh, it's okay. You have nothing to be sorry for."
His hand reached for hers and pulled it towards his chest, just above his heart. Ember's eyes opened slightly to stare at their connected hands, and for the first time in what felt like a century, her lips curved up into a sealed, genuine smile. It scared her just how much the whole ordeal had taken its toll on her, but maybe, just maybe there was hope for her to heal her mental scars.
And who else but Wade would be the one to pull her out of this ditch of darkness she was trapped in? Rather or not she deserved him, he still loved her and desired to give her the life she wanted. She'd denied him that chance too many times before, and she almost lost him because of it.
Well, she was not going to continue making that mistake. She loved him too, more than anything, and she wasn't going to waste this second chance she'd been given. No, they were going to live the life they wanted together, just like they deserved.
After a while, the sobs began to die down and her light gradually brightened to its normal radiance. No other words were exchanged, other than Wade occasionally whispering his affirmations to her. The two just continued to lie in each other's arms, savoring the bittersweet silence shared between them. Ember had laid her head in the crook of his neck, listening to almost inaudible sounds of his water moving and watching the tiny bubbles move around in his neck and down his arms. She found that counting them helped distract her from intrusive thoughts, and even brought her back to a sleepy state.
But she didn't dare to drift to the unconscious without telling him one simple truth; "I love you, Wade.. I love you so much."
In the back of her mind, there was always a nagging voice that warned her before falling asleep or leaving the room he was in, that she may never see him again. That whenever she opened her eyes or came back to the same room, he would be gone, and the cycle of mourning would continue. Tonight the voice wasn't nearly as vocal, in fact Ember had tuned it out for now. But still, it needed to be said. She would never miss an opportunity to remind him of her feelings ever again.
Wade smiled and held her closer, resting his hand on the back of her head. "I love you, too, Ember." He whispered sweetly in her ear, offering another calming kiss to her sleepy face. "Light of my life.."
Ember fell asleep with a smile grazed across her face, and that was more than enough to lift the weight off of his chest. Finally, he could breathe. Eventually he fell asleep as well, more than content knowing his Ember was safe and cared for. And if later she woke up crying again, needing some more assurance, then he would be happy to provide.
Things were rocky now and there may be more dark paths along the road of healing. It may take days, months, even years before Ember recovers. Hell, she may never fully move on from what occurred between them. No matter what, Wade was going to be there for her. He would be her shoulder to cry on. He would be her anchor when she was too weak. And he would do it all with a smile on his face, because that's what you do for the one you love.
Embrace the light. He was once told. And that's exactly what he planned to do, for as long as he lived.