Ella's POV:
There is a knock on the door that pulls me out of my thoughts and Stef walks in.
"Time to eat guys." I don't look at her or move. I just stay looking at the ceiling. I still feel pretty weird. How long is this supposed to last?
"Ella, please come down stairs," Stef says.
"I'm not hungry" Actually, I am STARVING. I have a giant need for food right now that I can't quite explain, but I don't want to go down there with everyone.
"Sweetheart, please come downstairs," She tried again.
I sigh and just listen. I am in enough trouble as it is. I get through dinner easily. I ate so much food. I looked up at one point and Mariana couldn't hold in her laughter because I just kept going. I felt like I hadn't eaten in a month. We ended up laughing so hard I was brought to tears. Everyone else joined in because it was so contagious. Even Stef and Lena couldn't help but laugh a little, though I could tell they were trying not to. It felt like a small victory on my part.
Dinner is over and Jude suggests a family movie. I just look over to Stef and Lena, not really sure what I am allowed to do after getting grounded.
"I think that sounds great," Stef says, giving me a wink. I frown. Why are they being nice to me? Did they forget I am still under the influence?
Everyone goes into the living room and I head to use the bathroom. When I am finished I go into the living room and notice all of the spots on the couch and chairs are filled. I can't help but frown. There were a perfect amount of seats for everyone until I got here. I don't belong here. What am I doing? Why have I been so accepting and just calling Stef and Lena Mom and Mama, I don't even know them. I was so desperate for a sense of family and stability, but I don't even know who I am anymore.
"Sweets, come sit with me," Stef says, opening up her arms wide for me. She is on one of the chairs. I look at her and just shake my head. Then look at Lena.
"You could sit with me too sweetheart." She offers.
"I'm good. I am going to go to bed." Before anyone can say anything I turn around and head upstairs. I lay down in my bed and two seconds later I am out.
Lena's POV:
I look over at Stef as Ella goes upstairs. She nods and then I get up to go find her. I hear Stef telling the kids to start the movie.
I softly knock on Ella's door and hear nothing. I knock again and nothing. I start getting a little anxious so I walk in and she is laying on her bed.
"Ella?" I try. Nothing. Is she okay? Her chest is moving up and down. I get closer and realize she is asleep, well that was fast. She is squirming quite a bit. I gently lay my hand on her back and start stroking it. She seems to calm down instantly. I do this for about ten minutes and decide to let her sleep. As soon as I lift my hand to leave, she squirms and turns seeking for my hand again. I can't help but chuckle and rub her back for another ten minutes. I decide to go back down stairs, but when I stand up to leave she starts squirming again and whimpering.
"'I'll be right back," I whisper in her ear. She settles down for a minute so I quickly leave. I am not sure if she is aware of what is happening, but part of her seems to be. I go into my room, put my pajamas on, use the bathroom and brush my teeth. I sent a quick text to Stef saying that I was going to lay with Ella. I walk back into her room and set my phone on the nightstand. I peel back the covers from her bed and slowly slide in. Instantly her entire body turns towards me and she latches on to me like a leech. I can't help but laugh as she used to do this as a little girl. It warms my Mama heart that some of her mannerisms are the same. This is really my little girl. She situated herself so half of her body is on top of me. I just hold on to her tightly and let sleep take over me.
Ella's POV:
I wake up to my alarm going off in the morning. My body feels all tense and tight. I go to move but something is keeping me from doing so. I open my eyes and realize someone is in bed with me. I jerk away and see it is Lena. Was she here all night? I realize I am practically on top of her and our arms are around each other.
"Easy there baby," I hear her say and open her eyes.
"Ma- I mean Lena, what are you doing here?" Lena frowns and I know it is because I decided to stop calling her Mama.
"You were having a really rough night last night honey, whenever I would leave you would squirm and whimper. You were pretty out of it, probably from the gummy, so I stayed with you. I wanted to make sure that you were okay." Lena says.
I can't help the blush on my cheeks. How embarrassing. It was also very kind of her. How am I supposed to push them away when they do such nice things?
"Oh, thanks, I am going to go get ready for school," I quickly get up, grab clothes and head to take a shower.
After I shower I go downstairs and stop half way down the stairs before I am seen. I hear Stef and Lena talking in the kitchen.
"I swear to God Callie is just like you," I hear Lena laugh, "Strong, stubborn and reckless."
"Hey!" Stef exclaims.
"If I didn't know any better I would have thought you gave birth to her yourself Stefanie. She is a mini you." Lena says. "I also know she is your favorite." Lena whispers.
I freeze at this. They have favorites?
"Oh you are one to talk, Jude has you so wrapped around his finger, it isn't even funny." Stef quips back.
"He is my little buddy, he melts me." Lena says sweetly.
I feel my face go hot. What about the rest of us, are we just chopped liver? This makes my decision to stay away from them even stronger. I am over them and their fake love. I was forgotten about. They brought four kids home when I was kidnapped and alone, like I was just replaced and didn't matter. Now they are their favorites? The two newest ones? I hate them. I hate them all. Maybe not Mariana and Jesus. Brandon I am indifferent to, but I feel bad for him. Maybe I should befriend him as he is also like me. The forgotten biological kid.
I slowly walk into the kitchen and grab breakfast. We have to eat every morning here and I don't have the energy to argue.
"Morning Moms" Callie says walking into the kitchen. I watch Stef walk over and give her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I can't help but roll my eyes at the exchange. Whatever.
"Morning Ella!" She says kindly. I just glare at her and then get up to clean my dish.
"Is everything alright Ella?" Lena asks.
"Peachy." I say, grabbing my bag. "I am walking to school."
"No, you are not," Stef starts. "You are not allowed to go off on your own right now."
"Well, stop me then." I walk to the front door and just as I am about to step out of the door a hand comes and pushes it closed.
"Ella, that was not okay. You don't get to talk back and completely disobey what I am saying." Stef starts.
"I don't care, Stef." She looks at me and seems shocked I called her Stef.
"So I am Stef again? What's wrong Ella?" She says.
"Nothing, and my name is Gabriella," I say, glaring at her.
"Honey, what is going on? It's like a switch flipped. Is this about you getting in trouble? Even though you are grounded it doesn't mean we don't love you anymore. We are still the same, we are still your parents and nothing will ever change how we feel about you. You made a mistake, all kids do, we have to hold you accountable and help you make better choices, but it doesn't mean we care about you any less. " Stef says, very lovingly.
It is almost hard to brush her off, but not impossible.
"Honestly Stef, I was stupid for thinking we could all be one big happy family. I don't belong or fit in here. I am the long lost child everyone forgot about. I don't compare to your other kids. I just feel like this isn't worth it. I'll just pretend this is like every other foster home and wait until I turn 18. Then I will leave and none of you have to see me again." I open the door to leave dramatically after my words and Stef slams it shut again. I turn around and grab Stef's arm that is on the door. I take my other hand and put it on her other shoulder, getting ready to push her away from me. Stef's eyes are wide in shock that I am about to get physical with her. Just as I am about to lean in and push her away from me, I hear the most intimidating voice I have ever heard.
"ELLA, ENOUGH!" I drop Stef's arms immediately and look over to Lena, surprised. I shiver, the tone was so icy it sent chills down my back.
"In NO way shape or form, is it okay with you to get physically violent with us. Go sit on the couch." I just give her a glare. No way is she telling me what to do.
"NOW!" It causes me to jump and I quickly make my way to the couch, now frightened I will get punished physically.
Lena walks over to the coffee table and sits in front of me. She rests her hand on my knee and I instantly jump, very high. I cover my face with my arms and just wait. I hear a sigh and feel someone sink on the couch next to me. I jump again and move away.
"Baby," Stef starts, "we will never physically harm you honey. Please look at us."
I don't.
"Ella, Mom is right, we would never. I raised my voice to stop you from physically hurting Stef."
"I wasn't going to hurt her." I mumbled.
"What did you say sweetheart?" Lena asks, not having heard.
"I wasn't going to hurt her okay! I am not some monster! I would have never hurt Stef. Ever! I don't hurt people!" I start getting worked up and crying. I don't want them to see me this way so I stand up and turn around.
"That is good sweets, but it looked very much like you were going to push me." Stef says calmly.
I turn around with tears streaming down my face and see the look on Stef and Lena's face soften slightly. Why are they so caring?
"I was going to push her back, but gently so I could run off. Not hurt her," I say looking at Lena. "I would have never really hurt either of you." I let out a sob and sank to the floor. I wrap my hands around my knees and rock back and forth. "I promise, I wouldn't have hurt you, I have never hurt anyone." I sob some more.
Stef slowly approaches me and wraps her arms around me. I tense, but let it happen. I don't want them to think I am truly violent. If I pushed Stef I would have made sure she wasn't hurt.
"That is good honey, but even if you wouldn't hurt me, it isn't good to put your hand on people like that. Especially me as your parent and Mother. It is not okay. You don't get to push me away. I wasn't hurting you, I was preventing you from leaving. I know you are really upset right now and I am worried about you going off. I just want to keep you safe." Stef's voice cracks when she says the word safe and I look up at her. I can't help the guilt. I know Stef hurts from letting me get taken. I start feeling remorse and compassion seep in. I try to ignore it and not feel bad, but it's hard.
"Ella sweetheart, this is really hard. We are getting to know each other and figuring out what it means to be a family. There are going to be really hard parts of our relationship, but we can't give up. The love is there, we will work through everything else. I promise. We are here for you and we aren't going anywhere."
I just start crying again because I am so confused and I don't know what to do. Part of me believes and loves them, but thinking about last night and then hearing they have favorites, I can't help but feel hatred towards them. Like they brought me into this world and then don't care.
"Honey," Lena says as she softly rubs my back. I can't help but lean into her. To be honest I thought I was her favorite or at least we had a special bond. I remember she loves Jude more than me and I pull away. I didn't ask for any of this. I hear her sigh.
Lena continues, "What changed? It seems something upset you last night and you haven't been the same since." I shrug.
"Come on baby, what was it, hmm?" Stef says brushing hair out of my face. She looks at me so softly and lovingly I am not sure how to respond. I am so confused.
"Well," I may as well tell them. "It started last night when I didn't have a place to sit. I just realized that I shouldn't be here. I don't belong. I am not like you guys. You don't know so much about me. You probably wouldn't like any of it. I have done some really bad things. I grew up in rough neighborhoods with friends that you would probably not let me hang out with. I just feel like I am a fish out of water and it made me realize that I have let my guard down too much. That I shouldn't just come here and act like a family. In reality, we are not. We barely know each other. You just happened to give me some DNA."
"Honey, that is not true. We are a family, we-"
"Please, please can we not right now." I beg, not able to have this conversation right now. I feel so hurt that Callie and Jude are their favorites. It's not my fault I haven't been around. I watch Lena look at Stef and sigh.
"Okay, please get your stuff for school, we are leaving in five minutes." Stef says. I breathe a sigh of relief and run away as quickly as I can.