- Part 1 -

Arrhythmia

And when she says she wants somebody else,
I hope you know, she doesn't mean you.
And when she breaks down and makes a sound,
You'll never hear her, the way that I do.
And when she says she wants someone to love,
I hope you know, she doesn't mean you.
- Howie Day

"Do you want to have sex?"

Aubrey's gaze snapped up from her Calculus notes before she even realized she had processed the words coming out of Chloe's mouth. She looked around their room, unsure of who she expected to see seeing as they were the only ones who lived there. But surely Chloe had been talking to someone else – or Aubrey had severely misheard her. "I'm sorry?" she all but sputtered, sitting up on her bed. It wasn't the first time Chloe had proposed this question, but usually it was a joking follow up to classes being over for a semester and Aubrey not knowing what to do without anything left to study for.

Chloe rolled over onto her side on her own bed, still flipping through the pages of the grammar book she had borrowed from Aubrey for her English paper. "You know, sex? That thing where you and another person get naked and touch each other's-"

"I know what sex is," Aubrey interrupted her, flustered by the sudden conversation about it.

"I was beginning to wonder," Chloe remarked absently. She closed the book and sat up. "Do you want to have it?"

"I think everyone wants to have sex at some point," Aubrey nearly stumbled over her words, "Except for in cases of asexuality where-"

"With me," Chloe cut her off. "Not in general, Aubrey. Well, I mean, I guess in general too." She was beginning to sound flustered as well. "But specifically with me."

"Oh." The word came out rushed and high pitched. Aubrey rubbed her throat, completely caught off-guard with no time to think. "Um…"

"You can say no." Chloe put the book on the table beside her bed and stood up. She crossed the small space that made up their room in The Bellas' house, where they had finally decided to spend their Junior year, despite Alice, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I was just thinking we could try it. I mean, I've asked you multiple times now…"

Try it. The way Chloe said it had been so nonchalant that she might as well have been asking Aubrey to try a new restaurant or mascara. Maybe she hadn't been joking each semester. "Oh." Aubrey suddenly couldn't find any other words in her vocabulary. She almost reached for her dictionary.

"Or we could just make out." Chloe picked up Aubrey's notes and leaned over to put them on her table. "I'm tired of homework."

"So you want to have sex?" Suddenly Aubrey's words were back without warning and gave her no time to consider them. "Have you even had sex with a girl before?"

"Kind of," Chloe answered with a perplexed smile.

Aubrey pursed her lips together and tilted her head because how does one kind of have sex with a girl?

"Have you ever had sex with anyone?" Chloe tilted her head at the same angle, the corners of her lips curving upward in a soft smile. It was warm and safe in a way that made Aubrey feel like she was writing in a diary as opposed to talking to another person.

Aubrey swallowed, unsure if the time Brent Holly had slid his hand down her pants during junior year of high school counted. They had barely gotten their zippers undone before they both realized they were going to miss curfew and panicked. It made sense now. "Kind of." She looked down at her comforter, the sudden prospect of sex making her feel almost nauseous. Almost.

"Seriously, Aubrey, we could just kiss for awhile." Chloe stood up and offered Aubrey her hand. "Or just lay on my bed. Literally anything that isn't homework. Sex was just an option. I mean, I want to have sex with you. If you want to have sex. But we don't have to do it. We could do anything. Well, you know, not anything, but-"

"Okay." Aubrey grabbed her hand without her usual hesitation, mainly just to make her stop rambling. She didn't know what she was saying okay to, but her homework was done, and the bedroom door was locked. She did like kissing Chloe. It had been weird for awhile, being that close to another person. But then it became something else. She didn't know the word for it. But it was a different kind of nervous than the kind that made her nauseous, and somehow it was a nervous that felt good. It felt like reaching the bottom of a rollercoaster after speeding down the tallest hill – where there was relief, but her entire body still tingled.

"I'm not sure what we're saying okay to." Chloe seemed almost nervous. If that was a feeling Chloe ever experienced. "Kissing or sex? Or neither?"

"I don't know yet," Aubrey admitted. She stayed seated, unsure if indecision was okay. Could they start and then stop if it felt less desirable than kissing?

"That's okay." Chloe's palms were beginning to sweat. She pulled her hand back and wiped it on her pants. "We could just, um, we could just see where it goes?"

Aubrey nodded and slowly stood up. She looked across the room at Chloe's bed, unsure of the next step. There was no method to kissing. It wasn't like Calculus that had logic and steps. It always just happened for rarely explainable reasons. She already imagined sex was the same – but it was at least easier to plan out in her head than a kiss. She just needed a blueprint of Chloe's body and then she could develop a formula to… She realized her cheeks were suddenly burning. It wasn't like she had never thought about sex with Chloe. It was her entire face that was on fire now.

Chloe must have noticed her discomfort because she grabbed both of Aubrey's hands and pulled her to her bed. She looked at the floor for a few moments as they sat down before looking at Aubrey again, making eye contact in a way that sent electric shocks through Aubrey's bloodstream. "Can I kiss you?" She turned and positioned herself so she was facing Aubrey, not releasing their hands.

It was Chloe who once told her that not every question could be answered with words, and suddenly Aubrey knew what she had meant. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against Chloe's, not quite making as much contact as she meant to. Her hand instinctively went to the back of Chloe's head, her fingers entangling in her hair, and she drew Chloe in closer until their lips met and Chloe hummed her approval.

Aubrey had some experience in kissing before she met Chloe. But it wasn't like this. Some of the boys she kissed didn't move and they just stayed still with their faces awkwardly mashed together. And others, well, they were just gross. Chloe's arms wrapped around Aubrey and pulled her entire body in closer with such ease that Aubrey didn't realize what was happening until she was practically straddling Chloe's lap. It occurred to her that she had no idea how Chloe had so easily enticed her, and also that she was okay with it. More than okay with it.

"Mm." Chloe pulled back and placed her hands on Aubrey's shoulders. "Aubrey?"

Maybe their position wasn't okay. Generally, they weren't this close. And if they were, it was Chloe on top of Aubrey. Brushing away the knowledge that Chloe had pulled Aubrey nearly onto her lap, she tried to pull away, looking up when she realized Chloe wasn't releasing her grip on her.

"If we go too far, tell me and we can stop, okay?" Chloe smiled reassuringly.

Oh. Aubrey nodded quickly. "Okay." She looked at her lap for a moment she searched for words then made eye contact again. "You tell me, too."

"Of course." Chloe turned and looked around her bed for a moment then gathered up her pillows and placed them against the bed's headboard. She scooted back, pulling Aubrey along with her, until she was propped up against her pillows.

Aubrey sat back on Chloe's lap, intently studying the creases in the pillowcases. She tried to remember the backseat of Brent's car and how the two of them had gone from talking about their AP classes to him trying to take Aubrey's pants off. It was a blur and not the kind of helpful reference she hoped it would be. "I don't know what I'm doing." The words came out like a rush of air and didn't even sound like her own. And then she could barely breathe back in, wanting to take the statement back.

"That's okay." Chloe laughed lightly and tilted her head into Aubrey's line of sight. "I don't either."

Aubrey tried to speak but the words got stuck on the tip of her tongue. She knew that Chloe was no virgin. It wasn't like Chloe slept with a lot of people, but there were enough guys on campus who she ended up locked in a room with at parties during their Freshman year.

Chloe must have read her thoughts, because she leaned forward and stopped centimeters away from Aubrey's lips. "It's different with you." She brushed Aubrey's hair away from her face, running her fingers through it until they reached the end. "Like it means something. It's kind of scary."

xxxxx

"What?" Aubrey isn't sure if she heard her correctly. She tries to break away as she's led up the stairs, but Stacie's grip on her shoulders is unrelenting. "I'm not a lesbian." Stacie is implying she is, right? She's not. Not really. She's slept with Howie before. And a few other men that she tries not to recall. The only girl she has ever slept with, or been attracted to at all, has been Chloe. (Okay, there was also Beca, but she continues to search for reasons why Beca doesn't count. And Nikki is reasonably attractive, but that's different.) She's still not even sure what exactly is happening – too many thoughts swarming around in her head to even consider asking Stacie what she means by needing Aubrey's help to figure out lesbianism. Isn't that Cynthia-Rose's area of expertise?

"Whatever you call it then," Stacie corrects herself, grinning ear to ear as they turn down the hall. "What does Chloe call it?"

"Call what?" Aubrey feigns ignorance. She realizes she should text Chloe and tell her where she is. She pulls out her phone and unlocks it.

Stacie stops outside one of the inn's doors and slides in her key. "I already texted Chloe." She pushes open the door and takes a few steps in then turns to look at Aubrey. "I told her you'll be back before she knows it."

Aubrey stands frozen outside the door, not looking up from her phone. Last time she trusted The Bellas, which was only a few hours ago, she ended up wearing Beca's bra. It may have been worth it in the end, but she's had enough humiliation for one day.

"I don't bite," Stacie says. "Well, I mean, you know…"

The text message to Chloe is already open and Aubrey decides to say something regardless of whatever Stacie told her. She texts her that she'll be back soon and adds a heart. Then deletes the heart. Then adds it again and quickly hits send before stuffing her phone back in her pocket.

"Are you coming in or do I have to get Beca back here?" Stacie asks.

The worst part about the question is that, for a fraction of a moment, Aubrey actually has to think about it. Her features turn sour and she forces herself to walk into Stacie's room with feigned confidence. It's bad enough she let Beca drag her this far. She doesn't need her help dealing with The Bellas.

"Finally!" Cynthia-Rose sits up from where she was lying across Stacie's bed. "Beca took forever. Doesn't she know we're on a tight schedule?"

"I told her." Stacie shuts the door behind Aubrey. She sighs and takes her phone out of her pocket, turning so Aubrey can't see who she's texting. "Okay, I think we're ready."

"Ready for what?" Aubrey stamps her foot to get their attention. "I have to leave."

"Chill, Aubrey," Cynthia-Rose says and stands up. "We're gonna help."

"Help with what?" Aubrey's fists clench. She doesn't wait around for one more fucking vague explanation. Instead, she grabs the doorknob and flings the door back open.

"You didn't tell her walking up here?" Cynthia-Rose asks Stacie.

Enough is enough is enough and Aubrey storms out of the room.

"We tryna help with your date!" Cynthia-Rose calls after her.

Aubrey stops so quickly that she nearly trips over her own feet. Date? "Aca-scuse me?" There is no way they could know that she's taking Chloe out tonight. Or anything about her relationship (can she call it that?) with Chloe. Unless Chloe told them. She turns around and tries to keep her breaths even, panic sweeping through her stomach. "I don't have a date."

"Aubrey, we know you got a date tonight," Cynthia-Rose says. "We're not as stupid as you make us out to be." She pauses. "Most of us."

Stacie absently examines her fingernails. "We heard it through the grapevine."

"And we know it's with Chloe," Cynthia-Rose adds, "Everybody knows you been dating Chloe on and off since like freshman year."

Aubrey wants to ask how they know, but that would be confirming their statements. She straightens up and looks down her nose at them. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Cynthia-Rose stares back at her. "I know how hard coming out is," she says and walks toward the door, "But that's just rude to Chloe."

It's unclear to Aubrey whether it's more anxiety or anger suddenly boiling in the pit of her stomach, but she's forced to swallow down the bitter taste in her mouth. She stalks back toward Stacie's room and stops inches away from Cynthia-Rose. "You don't know anything about me or Chloe."

"I know enough to know that if you don't follow through with this date tonight, you're gonna break that girl's heart. And for what? To avoid The Bellas like you been doin' for years?" Cynthia-Rose shoots a look of disappointment straight through Aubrey's very being and shakes her head as she brushes past her. "We got you a venue and everything."

Aubrey wishes she was home. She literally makes a wish in her head, despite not being foolish enough to think wishes actually come true. "Why?" The word just slips out. It doesn't make sense that after she let down their A Cappella team, after she didn't keep in contact for years that any of them would go out of her way for her and Chloe. But then it does. It hits her like a ton of bricks that they're trying to go out of their way for Chloe – and she is getting in the way. Her glower slowly fades into a deep frown that feels like it's pulling her entire face.

Cynthia-Rose looks back for only a fraction of a second before she continues down the hallway. "Because, for some reason, I thought we was friends." She walks down the stairs. And suddenly the gears in Aubrey's head are trying to turn in opposite directions again.

"Um." Stacie doesn't seem to know what to say. She stands next to the doorframe, watching as Cynthia-Rose disappears from sight, then gives Aubrey a tight smile that doesn't quite match the rest of her expression. "I'm going to text the girls and call it off."

And break Chloe's heart. "Wait." Aubrey draws in a deep breath to buy herself time to think. It might not be that bad. It's not like The Bellas are going to go on the date with them. Or so she hopes. She wouldn't put it past them. But they can always get the night over with, and then she can take Chloe out for lunch tomorrow. She thinks about their new outfits and feels a pang of disappointment in her chest. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

Stacie's eyebrows tighten, and she steps away from the doorframe to reenter the room. "Because you would have said no." She says it like it's the most obvious answer there could be. And it is.

Aubrey's phone buzzes against her thigh. She hesitates before pulling it out and exhales a sigh of relief when she sees it's just Chloe.

'Just got out of the shower. See you soon!'

Aubrey studies the five hundred hearts tagged on the end of Chloe's message. She considers asking her to come upstairs. But she doesn't need help. And she is definitely not going to ruin the night. She exits out of the message and puts her phone away, trying to ignore how detached the action makes her feel from Chloe. "What do you need me to do?" She closes the distance between herself and Stacie's room then shuts the door behind her.

"Shower," Stacie replies immediately. She breaks into a grin. "You look like you've been running a marathon."

Aubrey can't argue that. Her damp shirt is becoming cold as well and sticks to her back and chest, and she can only imagine what her hair looks like. She slides her bag off her arm and into her hand as she walks to the bathroom and remembers the stuffed starfish. "Where's Sophia?"

"She's with Donald," Stacie answers. "I can text him to bring her over."

Aubrey nods and keeps it in the bag. She walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind her, locking it so no Bellas can accost her for whatever reason. There is only one Bella seeing her naked tonight (or ever).

"There's a robe hanging near the shower!" Stacie calls through the door.

Aubrey glances at the robe and doesn't feel like answering but calls back a "thank you" out of common courtesy. She pulls her new outfit and lingerie out of the bag and places them neatly on the sink for later then turns on the shower and strips off her clothes. She examines her cuts and scrapes in the mirror until it fogs up too much to see. CRAZY. The word flashes through her mind and she immediately turns her back to the glass. Maybe if tonight goes well, she can convince Chloe to go home with her tomorrow. She knows Chloe is more than likely thinking the same thing about convincing Aubrey to enjoy the rest of their week on the island.

Maybe instead, she'll text Brian later in the week and catch up on what's happening at work.

She pulls the curtain back and steps in the shower, letting her forehead rest against the cold ceramic tiles as hot water cascades down over her back. She closes her eyes and tries to convince herself that the heaviness rushing through her veins and weighing down on all of her muscles doesn't feel a lot like defeat.

xxxxx

"Does it scare you?" Chloe asked and collapsed back against the pillows. "Feeling something like this?"

The question caught Aubrey off-guard and she studied Chloe's face, almost trying to search for her own answer in Chloe's gentle smile and inquisitive gaze. She drew in a breath and started to attempt an answer, but then shut herself down. Fear was off-limits. She could have written a book with all the sayings her dad had about fear and why not to feel it. She reviewed them in her head in order to ignore the butterflies in her stomach and their intensity. "Thinking will not overcome fear," he always said, "But action will." She leaned forward, shifting her body until she was nearly lying in top of Chloe, and pressed their lips together again.

"Mm." Chloe wrapped her arms around Aubrey and entangled one of her hands in Aubrey's hair. She cradled the back of Aubrey's head and drew her in closer, carefully rolling them over until they had switched positions and she was on top. Her thigh ended up between Aubrey's legs and Aubrey's body instinctively pushed against it to relieve the sudden tension between her legs.

"I'm sorry." Aubrey pulled back and tried to slide out from under Chloe but found herself pinned.

"For what?" Chloe propped her elbows beside Aubrey's head and rested her head against her hand. "Do you want to stop?"

Aubrey shook her head. She really didn't. Chloe was a welcome change from Calculus. But with Calculus, she knew what she was doing. Chloe was radiating heat and she smelled like strawberries and vanilla and there were no numbers or figures that could describe anything she was making Aubrey feel.

"Okay, then relax." Chloe gently brushed the tips of their noses together. "Just try to, Aubrey."

"Okay." Aubrey nodded with as much confidence as she could muster. "I can do that." It was easier said than done when the inexplicable urge to touch Chloe's bare skin wouldn't budge from her mind.

Chloe gave her a knowing look, because when had Aubrey ever relaxed. She kissed her again, gently at first, gradually increasing the intensity until her lips just barely parted and her tongue encouraged Aubrey's to do the same. It was never how Aubrey imagined kissing. The spit. The germs. They weren't relevant; only the sweet taste of Chloe's mouth and how they could never seem to be close enough mattered.

She wrapped her arms around Chloe, her hand coming to rest on her bare back where her shirt had ridden up. Goosebumps spread across the entirety of Chloe's lower back and the realization that her palm against Chloe's skin had caused that reaction sent tingles down her spine. In the heat of the moment, she shut down thinking long enough to break the kiss and pull Chloe's shirt up over her head and then down off her arms. Unsure what to do with it, or how to fold it at the moment, she dropped it beside the bed where Chloe could find it later.

There was a brief flash of self-consciousness in Chloe's eyes. If Aubrey hadn't been looking right at her, she wouldn't have caught it. Or even guessed it. Not when Chloe paraded around their room naked as she was looking for clothes to wear on almost a daily basis. It took Aubrey by surprise, and she didn't realize she was staring until Chloe diverted her gaze downward. "I think you're beautiful, Chloe."

Chloe's cheeks flushed a light shade of pink and she bit her lower lip as her mouth curved upward. "I know." She smirked and winked at Aubrey, pushing herself up so she was sitting on Aubrey's leg. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Humble too," Aubrey deadpanned, rolling her eyes.

"Always," Chloe replied seriously before breaking into a grin and laughing. She grabbed the bottom of Aubrey's shirt and lifted it halfway up her stomach before stopping. "I think we should be even."

It occurred to Aubrey in that moment that they were actually going to do this. It wasn't an end of semester joke or a few minutes of kissing before laying in bed for awhile or falling asleep. She swallowed thickly then arched her back and helped Chloe pull her shirt up over her head. It wasn't like Chloe had never seen her topless before. It just had never been while straddling Aubrey's thigh, sending electric currents through her as her hands fell back down to settle on Aubrey's bare stomach. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. Not in a way that she wanted Chloe to move, but in a way that made her jeans feel too tight and like she needed to move herself closer to Chloe's body. It hit her that Chloe had tightened her legs against Aubrey's thigh and was clearly feeling the same way.

"You're allowed to touch me." Chloe said it less like it was permission and more like an invitation. "Anywhere," she added quickly.

Aubrey's throat felt dry. It wasn't like her to daydream, but how many times had brief thoughts of how soft Chloe's skin was or how distracting it was when Chloe was digging through her closet naked crossed her mind? It felt like she was constantly scolding herself in frustration. "Anywhere?"

"Anywhere." Chloe paused. "Except, like, my spleen or my lungs, or, like, places a serial killer would want to touch. That would be weird."

Aubrey wrinkled her forehead for a moment then chose not to entertain the conversation.

"Sorry." Chloe rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm just getting really nervous, because I really like you and-"

Aubrey pressed their lips together again to shut her up before the mood could completely deteriorate due to her incessant need to always be talking. "I like you, too." She pulled back and tried to figure out where to start with her hands. "I like you, too, Chloe."

xxxxx

It wasn't unusual for the Bellas to do each other's hair and makeup. Alice used to do Aubrey's. It was a good excuse to berate her. Something was always wrong with Aubrey, according to Alice. Her forehead was too big. Her lips were to small. Some days her eyelashes were too short, and on others they had somehow become too long. Her eyebrows each grew differently from the other. Her hair fell too flat without curls. She was too fat. She was too thin. It was always something. First, Aubrey lashed back. Then, she learned to sit in silence and wait for Alice to get bored. After that, she didn't care who did her hair and makeup as long as they kept their mouths shut.

But this is different.

Stacie hasn't said a word since she turned on her hairdryer and began running a brush through Aubrey's hair. The silence is deafening. It makes Aubrey feel like thousands of tiny insects are crawling across her skin, and it takes all of her effort to sit still. She doesn't know how to make small talk with The Bellas; she isn't Chloe. At least with Beca, well, at least with Beca, they can both act like they're Alice. She tries to occupy herself. She stares out the window at the apple trees, wondering how Chloe can spend so many hours staring into space while entertaining her imagination when all Aubrey can see in her head is an apple tree.

"It's must suck being here," Stacie finally breaks the silence. "It's weird for the rest of us and we never even dated Beca."

Aubrey exhales slowly and counts as many apples as she can see on the trees.

"You live in New York, right?" Stacie asks.

"Mhm," Aubrey answers, realizing she can't ignore her forever. And she'll take any conversation topic over Beca. "We live in Queens."

"Does your dad pay for it?" Stacie asks.

Maybe Aubrey wouldn't take any conversation topic over Beca. "I pay for it," she snaps. Her internship doesn't exactly provide luxurious living, but the firm is willing to pay her enough to cover rent and utilities. Chloe covers other basic needs. And they have some extra money. It's enough income that they may not be rich, but they're not exactly struggling either.

Stacie turns off the blow dryer and steps in front of Aubrey. "You know you're really pretty," she states as she grabs her curling iron.

Aubrey is having a hard time following the conversation. Small talk never seems linear. She isn't sure whether she is supposed to thank Stacie or respond with something completely random.

"Not like my type. I mean, you're a girl." Stacie twists the iron around Aubrey's hair, making loose curls that fall warm against her cheeks and neck. "But it makes sense why Chloe's always staring at you. So, what's wrong with penis?"

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey sputters and turns her head, staring at Stacie.

"Am I not supposed to ask that?" Stacie shrugs. "I mean, Chloe is beautiful. I get why you're into her. I was just wondering. But, hey, whatever tunes your toner, right?"

Aubrey pinches the bridge of her nose. "I didn't like girls before Chloe," she admits. "I didn't like anyone." It's not entirely untrue. There had been what she assumed were crushes and people that she tried to settle for. But no one that she actively wanted to be with.

Stacie takes a step back and stares at Aubrey, looking completely taken aback. "So, Chloe is your first girl?" She turns off the curling iron and puts it on the desk. "Wait, was Chloe your first time?"

"Can we talk about something other than sex?" Aubrey takes a deep breath in to resist getting up and walking out the door.

"I didn't know people actually ended up staying with the person they lost their virginity to," Stacie says, mindlessly sorting through her makeup. "In books maybe…"

"Maybe it's not about sex for everyone." Aubrey isn't sure why she's still entertaining the conversation, because she suddenly misses the uncomfortable silence. "Maybe sometimes, you just love someone."

"Eh." Stacie shrugs. She leans over and holds up her eyeshadow pallet beside Aubrey's face. "You know, we're wondering how it's not your wedding this week…"

xxxxx

Sex involved a lot of touching, that much Aubrey knew, but there was never a clear indication of where to start. Sex Ed taught her how babies were made and how to put a condom on a banana. And, 'The Talk', well, that was her dad telling her she wasn't allowed to talk to boys until she was married. Essentially, she knew to avoid boys and how bananas practiced safe sex.

Aubrey slowly placed her hands on Chloe's sides, rubbing her thumbs across the skin right below the front of her bra. She could feel Chloe's sharp intake of breath and the way she held in the air for a few seconds before her chest fell comfortably against Aubrey's palms again. Not wanting her apprehension to show, she slid her thumbs across the underwire of Chloe's bra and mustered up as much confidence as she could – knowing full well it was going to come across as downright bossy. "Take your bra off."

Chloe pressed her lips together like she needed to consider it. She traced Aubrey's bra straps with her pointer fingers, filling Aubrey's shoulders and chest with tension and warmth. "You take it off," she fired back, not looking up from where she was staring at Aubrey's lips. She leaned down and engulfed Aubrey in a scorching kiss before she could argue and slid one of her hands under the cup of Aubrey's bra, stroking her breast with her thumb.

Aubrey felt her back arch, but Chloe's body kept her pinned against the bed. A gasp formed in her throat and Chloe pulled away for a few seconds to allow her to breathe then slid her tongue between Aubrey's open lips and deepened the kiss. Aubrey slid an arm around Chloe's back and unclasped her bra with one hand. She slid the straps down her arms then with some effort tugged her bra out from between them and dropped it in the general area of their shirts. She wanted to feel every inch of Chloe's bare skin but settled for resting one of her hands on the small of Chloe's back and the other between her shoulder blades as Chloe pulled them both back up into a sitting position.

Chloe paused to breathe then started a trail of kisses from Aubrey's mouth to her jaw then down her neck. Aubrey's head lulled to the side without her permission and she caught a whimper before it could leave her lips as Chloe pressed a light kiss between her neck and shoulder. The chill that went down her back must have caught Chloe's attention because she pressed another kiss to the same sensitive spot, her tongue pressing against Aubrey's skin as she closed her lips to suck gently on Aubrey's neck. Aubrey's nails scraped lightly across Chloe's back and she held her breath, trapping another feeble sound before it could leave her vocal cords.

"You're too tense, Aubrey," Chloe murmured into her shoulder, "Just relax."

Chloe's words added an extra layer of tension to Aubrey's muscles.

Chloe reached behind Aubrey with both hands and unhooked her bra then leaned back and locked eyes with her. "Lay back."

Aubrey clenched her jaw involuntarily, ready to push back against the instructions without thinking.

Chloe breathed a soft laughed. "Aubrey, do you really want to fight me while I'm half naked on top of you?" She slid the straps of Aubrey's bra down her shoulders then added it to their growing pile of clothes. Her gaze remained locked with Aubrey's. "Lay back."

Aubrey conceded and eased herself back down against the pillows. It occurred to her that she too was half naked, and that Chloe was on top of her. She rested her hands on Chloe's hip, her fingers just above the waistband of her jeans. The air in the room felt cold against her chest, and Chloe's hands felt like fire as she slowly moved them to rest on Aubrey's breasts. She tried to sit up to pull Chloe in for another kiss, but Chloe held her down.

"Stop." Chloe leaned down and pecked Aubrey's lips. "Relax." She placed a tender kiss on Aubrey's forehead. "Just tell me if you want to stop." She scooted herself down and placed kisses across Aubrey's collarbone then worked her way down toward her chest, tracing her mouth between Aubrey's breasts.

Aubrey closed her eyes and took several slow, deep breaths, trying to convince her muscles to stop stiffening. She could feel herself sinking into the bed as Chloe's warm lips traveled from her chest down her stomach. "Stay there," she commanded, almost losing herself in the heat of the moment.

Chloe ignored her and sat up, the areas she had been kissing going colder than before. "Wait," she said, looking at Aubrey's frown. "I need to take these off." She fumbled with the button on her own jeans then quickly pulled down the zipper and maneuvered her pants off, throwing them toward the bottom of the bed. "Sorry." She gave Aubrey a sheepish smile, her cheeks flushing a light shade of red. The scent of Chloe's arousal became much more prominent with her pants gone. Aubrey's cheeks flushed as well as the area between her own legs was suddenly noticeably wet.

It wasn't that Aubrey never felt arousal before, but she was capable of brushing it off. It was a distraction from the important things, like school, and not something she put a lot of focus on. She had tried touching herself once, at some point during middle school, but it felt indecent and she stopped after a few minutes. Now, she was hyperaware of everywhere Chloe's skin touched her own and the way her jeans were pressed against her skin and increasing the need to feel some sort of friction between her legs. She quickly unbuttoned her pants and pushed them down her hips as far as she could, letting Chloe pull them the rest of the way off.

Chloe had no qualms with touching herself. Aubrey knew, because the amount of times she had walked in on it was more than she could count. She spent too much time brooding outside their door, wishing Chloe would just do it in the shower. It was normal to Chloe – never something she tried to hide or felt any shame or embarrassment about. It seemed impossible for Chloe to feel (or be) indecent, no matter what she did.

"I think about you naked a lot," Chloe said. It was so nonchalant, it took Aubrey noticing that Chloe's pupils had dilated, and she was staring at Aubrey with a giddy half smile to process the words. "Not like in a creepy way. Just…in this way." She placed her hands on the waistband of Aubrey's panties, her fingers just barely curling under the fabric. "Should we keep going?"

"Mhm." It was the only sound Aubrey could make. They had gotten this far, and if they stopped, Aubrey might have to reconsider the whole touching herself thing. She nodded her head, her thoughts racing a mile a minute but also feeling like they were swimming in the sensation of the thick air and how everything seemed to smell intoxicatingly like Chloe. She lifted her hips as Chloe slid her panties down her thighs then sunk back down into the bed again – vaguely thinking about how they were going to have to wash the sheets later in the back of her head.

Chloe somehow managed to get her underwear off while straddling Aubrey's legs. At this point their clothes were tossed in several different directions and not very neatly. Chloe leaned forward and pressed her lips against Aubrey's again, this time with a little less grace and a lot more eagerness. She rolled them onto their sides, hooking one of her legs around Aubrey's waist. It was like every inch of their bodies were pressed together, and every time Chloe moved, it increased Aubrey's need to be even closer. She couldn't seem to find a position that would relieve the growing need for pressure against her body.

Aubrey slid her arm between their bodies, stroking the inside of Chloe's thigh with the tips of her fingers. Chloe gasped and nearly knocked Aubrey onto her back again, her nails pressing into Aubrey's shoulder blade. Aubrey rubbed her fingers up and down the inside of Chloe's thigh, debating with herself about sliding her fingers a little further up.

Chloe pulled away from the kiss, panting, all of the muscles in her body becoming stiff. "Oh my God. Aubrey." She reached down and grabbed Aubrey's hand, pulling it to where she needed it. She directed Aubrey's fingers, sliding them up and down until Aubrey took control herself and began searching for the right spots that would leave Chloe seeing stars, exploring parts of her that she would have never imagined touching when she first met her. To be honest, she wouldn't even have imagined this an hour ago. The moisture between Chloe's legs soaked Aubrey's hand and Aubrey took the opportunity to ease two fingers into her, her chest swelling with pride as Chloe made a strangled whimper and arched her hips against Aubrey's hand.

Chloe caressed all of the spaces around where Aubrey needed her hand to be, clearly taunting her the way Aubrey hadn't meant to tease her before.

"Chloe." Aubrey could barely form words, but she could make a clear enough warning. She kissed Chloe's lower lip then pulled away a few centimeters and stilled her hand, stopping the steady pace of her fingers. She pressed her thumb lightly against Chloe's center with just enough pressure that she could feel a wave of fresh heat against her hand. Chloe made a noise that was somewhere between a pleasured moan and a pleading whine.

It got the point across.

Chloe lifted her hand and stroked Aubrey's center with her fingers. The contact sent a tremor through Aubrey's entire body and her brain felt like it was short circuiting. Her breath hitched, and she bit back a moan. She crashed her lips against Chloe's again and resumed moving her hand back and forth, her knuckles bumping roughly against Chloe's as Chloe slowly rubbed her hand up and down. Aubrey knew Chloe was trying to get a reaction from her, so she knew the right places to touch, but Aubrey found herself holding back, trying to keep some control over herself.

Chloe broke the kiss, breathing harder, her chest pressing against Aubrey's every time it expanded. She gulped and tightened her leg around Aubrey's waist, the pace of her fingers becoming erratic. "Faster," she begged, her lips brushing against Aubrey's, "Please. Aubrey, I'm so close. Fuck."

Aubrey picked up the pace, trying to ignore the fire pooling in her lower abdomen. She made use of the length of her fingers, sliding them back and forth until Chloe tightened around them, crying out and gasping at the same time. She rolled over against Aubrey, pushing Aubrey onto her back and ended up on top of her. Her hot breath blew against Aubrey's shoulder as she came back down, still shaking as her muscles relaxed.

"Let go, Aubrey." Chloe rubbed her fingers up and down, finding a steady pace that sent shockwaves through Aubrey's entire body.

Aubrey tilted her head back against the pillows and closed her eyes, still holding on to her last thread of self-control. She wanted to give in. Pleasure coursed through her like electric shocks, and it was the best thing she had ever felt. Chloe was the best thing she had ever felt. But she found herself trying to take slow breaths, so she could bring herself down enough to tell Chloe she was done. Something told her to reach down and stop Chloe's hand, but that was the last thing she wanted. Frustration tangled itself up with everything else she was feeling and before she knew it, tears were stinging her eyes.

Chloe must have sensed Aubrey's struggle because she lifted her head and pressed her lips close to Aubrey's ear. "Hey, it's okay," she whispered, still sounding like the wind had been knocked out of her. "Let go, Aubrey, I have you. It's just me here. It's okay. Trust me." She pressed a tender kiss to Aubrey's lips and picked up the pace with her fingers.

Aubrey wrapped both arms around Chloe and slid one of her hands in the Chloe's hair as she gave into her. A wide range of feelings, both physical and not, coursed through her entire body then exploded like fireworks in all of her pulse points. The cry that had been lingering in her throat was all at once being muffled by Chloe's mouth and she clung onto her tightly until she could breathe again. Her skin felt like pins and needles as she came to grips with herself again, and immediately she began trying to process the moment of relinquishing herself to Chloe. It felt like a rush of relief. Her tears of frustration turned into tears of confusion and need. The air suddenly felt thick and her breath hitched in her throat as she tried to swallow back feeling anything.

Chloe lifted her head and crawled off of her, her brows furrow in concern. "Aubrey?" She brushed Aubrey's hair away from her face and tried to make eye contact. "Did I do something wrong?"

Aubrey quickly covered her face with her hand, her features crumbling before she could stop them. She shook her head. This was exactly the kind of thing her father had warned her about – how other people would try to knock her guard down and strip away her power. He had never mentioned that it would be Chloe who would do this and how it would take the weight of unbearable pressure off her shoulders. She knew she was supposed to hate herself for this – but for the moment, she needed Chloe to be in charge of whatever happened next.

xxxxx

There's a knock on the door and Stacie looks up from applying mascara to Aubrey's lashes.

"Open uuuuuup!" Sophia sings.

There is another knock, followed by Donald's voice. "Special delivery," he says, "Come pick up your package."

Aubrey remembers the starfish she left in her bag after getting dressed and can't hold back a grin.

"Coming!" Stacie calls back. She takes her time finishing up Aubrey's eyes, ignoring Sophia's yells from the hallway, before opening the door.

"Mommy!" Sophia swings her arms open wide then throws them around Stacie's legs. She peers around Stacie's legs, her eyes widening at the sight of Aubrey. She emits a high-pitched squeal and bounces up and down several times before bolting across the room. "A Bee!" She half jumps, half climbs into Aubrey's lap.

"Hi!" Aubrey grins and gives her a light hug. "How are you?"

"Good!" Sophia bounces up and down on Aubrey's lap. "I, I, I with Daddy!"

"I was with Daddy," Stacie corrects her. She shuts the door on Donald without saying goodbye and walks over to the two of them. "Lipstick, lipstick, where's my rosewood pearl?" she murmurs to herself and begins digging through her makeup case.

"That sounds fun," Aubrey says, adding an extra level of enthusiasm to her voice. "What did you do?"

"The park!" Sophia throws her hands up in the air, knocking the lipstick Stacie picked out out of her hand and back into the bag.

Stacie sighs and looks at Sophia.

"I have something for you." Aubrey doesn't want to force Sophia off her lap, but also, she can see Stacie's dilemma of trying to apply makeup with Sophia in the way. "It's on the bed."

"For me?" Sophia clambers off Aubrey's lap and runs over to the bed. She has to grab the comforter to help her climb on top the mattress. She quickly grabs the bag and turns it upside down, dumping the starfish onto the bed. She gasps.

"What do you say?" Stacie asks.

"Yay!" Sophia throws the bag off the bed then grabs the starfish and hugs it tightly, rolling around on the bed with it.

"She gets her rudeness from Donald," Stacie says in an annoyed tone and uncaps the lipstick.

Aubrey nods in feigned agreement, noting that Stacie had just shut the door in Donald's face.

Stacie places a hand on Aubrey's knee and squats down, finishing her makeup. "How does she look?" she asks Sophia.

Sophia sits up and hugs the starfish against her stomach. She grins and leans forward, staring at Aubrey's face. "Pretty!"

"Then I think we're all set! Time to get dressed." Stacie tosses her lipstick back in her bag and grabs her phone. She types a text and then pauses to read another. "It looks like Chloe is almost ready, too."

xxxxx

"Aubrey," Chloe whispered, her voice laced with concern. She gently pried Aubrey's hand away from her face and pressed their foreheads together. "Look at me."

Aubrey sniffled and opened her eyes, staring up at Chloe's bright blue eyes. She clenched her trembling jaw and tried to stop the new wave of tears that were stinging her eyes.

Chloe sighed quietly and pressed a kiss against Aubrey's cheek before sitting up. She grabbed her blankets from the bottom of the bed and pulled them up to their shoulders as she laid back down. She gave Aubrey a soft, knowing smile and then without saying anything, wrapped her in a hug. Their legs tangled together and Chloe nuzzled the side of Aubrey's face. "I love you, Aubrey," she whispered.

Aubrey pressed her hand against her face again, trying to allow herself to say it back.