- Part 1 -

Arrhythmia

Is this a natural feeling,
Or is it just me bleeding all my thoughts and dreams
and hopes that you will be with me?
Is this a moment to remember,
Or just a cold day in December?
Well, maybe, maybe I could be,
All you ever dreamed.

Aubrey doesn't remember how she ended up on her back, but the hard ground might as well be made out of clouds, because it feels like she's suspended in midair. The cold breeze chills her skin then Chloe's mouth warms it back up as she kisses Aubrey's mouth and jawline and neck, leaving a whole different kind of goosebumps wherever her lips touch Aubrey's skin. The stars in the sky feel like they're surrounding her. Or maybe that's the Christmas lights that have begun to fall off the crates. Everything is bright even when she closes her eyes. But somewhere in the blinding bliss of it all, she just wants to be home. She wants to be in their warm apartment, listening to the way her bed creaks underneath the weight of them both, fighting off the blankets after they inevitably get tangled up, grounded. Instead, she's here, light with intoxication, nothing holding her down – not even the weight of Chloe on top of her.

"I got you something," Aubrey giggles out. It's like she's floating above herself – watching herself talk and laugh. She regrets speaking when Chloe stops kissing her to sit up and everywhere her mouth touched falls numb like the rest of her – but, still, she can't stop grinning. It seems like her body is doing its own thing, with zero connection to, well, her. She wants Chloe's lips on hers again. She wants to feel something that feels real.

"You did?" Chloe is oblivious. Her eyes are sparkling with excitement, and, god, she's the cutest thing that Aubrey has ever seen in her entire life. "What is it?"

Aubrey smirks and lightly trails her fingers up and down Chloe's arms. "You'll see."

"Oh, yeah?" Chloe grabs Aubrey's hands and holds them tightly. She rests their hands on Aubrey's stomach, drawing Aubrey's attention to the way her dress has ridden up and her bare thighs that are straddling Aubrey's midsection. "When will I see?" She leans down, a playful glint in her eyes as she stops centimeters away from Aubrey's face. Aubrey can smell the Bailey's on her warm breath, and she really just wants to kiss her for the rest of the night.

"That's for you to find out," Aubrey tells her smugly. "It's a surprise."

Chloe stares at her without breaking eye contact from a few seconds then nods. "Okay," she complies. She lets go of Aubrey's hands and rests her arms next to Aubrey's head to balance herself. "I have a surprise for you, too."

Aubrey raises her eyebrows.

"But you have to wait, too." Chloe winks at her then presses their lips together in another kiss. It's gentle and soft, and Aubrey doesn't want to break contact for the rest of their lives. Chloe slides one of her hands under Aubrey's head so it's no longer resting on the wood floor, and suddenly Aubrey is convinced they're somehow melting into each other. She slides her hands under the back of Chloe's dress and pulls her in closer, barely registering the tightness in her chest as her lungs begin to beg for air. It isn't until she feels like she's about to pass out that Chloe pulls away, gasping for air. She realizes she's still smiling like she can't stop.

"Sit up," Aubrey commands. "Take your dress off."

Chloe tilts her head. She slowly eases her hand out from under Aubrey's head and sits up, resting her hands on her bare legs. "You know, when I first met you, I always thought getting you drunk might make you less bossy."

Aubrey's grin fades into a confused smile. "Why were you thinking about getting me drunk when we first met, Chloe?"

Chloe looks down and runs her fingers along the bottom hem of Aubrey's shirt. "Y'know." She's grinning and her cheeks are flushing a light shade of pink. "Fantasy reasons." She leans over and steals one more kiss then sits up again.

"Me when you first met me would have not liked that," Aubrey says.

Chloe rolls her eyes. "Oh, don't lie to me, Aubrey." She grips the bottom of her dress and pulls it up over her head, letting it fall to the ground beside them. "You've wanted me since the day you met me. I'm sure you had plenty of thoughts about getting in my pants."

It's Aubrey's turn to blush. "The more you flatter yourself, the less cute you become," she says quickly to take the attention off herself.

"My bad." Chloe stands up and steps over Aubrey so she's standing beside her. She kicks off her shoes then casually slides her underwear down and drops them on her dress. "Have I raised the attractive bar back up?"

Aubrey becomes acutely aware that she is still fully dressed. She considers teasing Chloe, but also she wants her clothes off, so she nods. It wouldn't matter what she said anyway. Her eyes are glued to every inch of Chloe's body and her throat is too dry to form words. Behind her smile, she finds herself suddenly unsure if she tells Chloe how beautiful she is often enough. Granted, Chloe doesn't need anyone to tell her to believe it, but it still becomes a pressing concern. She isn't sure how to say it without it sounding weird.

"Thought so." Instead of joining Aubrey on the ground, Chloe sits down on one of the crates and tucks her legs beside her. "Tell me one fantasy you've had about me."

It's unclear to Aubrey if her face is red or if all the color has drained out of it. "I don't have those." She pushes herself up onto her elbows then into a sitting position, using the wall to support her as the world seems to tip over. "I don't have those about anyone."

"So you're telling me you've never thought about me like that?" Chloe pauses. "Well, besides from, like, right now…"

Aubrey's chest burns and she realizes she's holding her breath as she tries to think. Chloe is distracting. The lights are distracting. The chilly air is distracting. She exhales slowly and looks at Chloe's face, waiting for some kind of prompt on what to say.

"Okay, um…" Chloe puffs out her cheeks and looks up at the sky. "Example…Sometimes when you're cooking, I think about doing it on the kitchen counter. I imagine just turning off the stove and, you get the picture."

Okay, if she thinks hard enough about it, maybe she can come up with one of those kinds of thoughts. Aubrey laughs at the embarrassment of it, a thin layer of cold sweat forming on her skin. "Okay." She feels nervous and giddy, barely able to form words. The air is so much thicker than it was earlier, and she can't grasp as much control of herself as she wants to. "You remember when we used to share a room in college and at night, you would…you know?"

"Sleep?" Chloe guesses.

Aubrey purses her lips together and shakes her head, silently waiting for Chloe to figure it out.

Chloe sits up straight and crosses her legs in front of her, staring at Aubrey with squinted eyes like she's trying to recap every night in college in her mind. It hits her, and her eyes suddenly grow wider than Aubrey has ever seen them. "Oh." It must really sink in. "Oh." Her entire face flushes a deep shade of red and she looks away from Aubrey, off to the side. "You knew I was doing that and you didn't say anything?"

"What was I supposed to say, Chloe?" Aubrey asks, incredulously.

"I don't know, Bree! Something!" Chloe laughs spontaneously. "Also, you know you can say masturbation, right?"

Aubrey grins in embarrassment at the word. "No, thank you. I'm good."

"Say it," Chloe urges. She presses her hands against the edge of the crate and leans forward on them. "I dare you."

Aubrey stares at her. It's hard to turn down a dare. "Fine," she concedes and replays the word a few times in her head. It shouldn't be that hard to say. It is the technical term for having sex with oneself, after all. She just needs to say it like it's a medical term.

"Oh my god." Chloe is almost in a fit of giggles. "It's just a word. Just say it. Masturbation."

"Masturbation." Aubrey says it so fast, she nearly gets tongue tied and trips over the word.

Chloe squeals in excitement and practically falls off the crate to pull Aubrey into a tight side hug. Aubrey tries to remember if Chloe had a decent amount of alcohol to drink or if she's just that weird.

"Okay." Chloe falls over so she's slouched against the wall beside Aubrey. "Keep going. What about me masturbating now?"

Aubrey looks down and picks at the fabric on her pants. She feels so distant, almost like if she chooses not to answer, the moment will stop existing. "Sometimes I thought, what if I could turn on the light and watch." She keeps staring at her pants, only imagining the stunned look on Chloe's face. After a few seconds of silence, she realizes it might have been the wrong thing to say. It sounds so creepy saying it out loud. "But it was just a thought, Chloe. Like those thoughts you have when you're standing on top of something high and think about jumping off. It doesn't mean that you should do it."

"Oh my god," Chloe finally sputters out. She leans back, accidentally hitting the back of her head on the wall. "Can someone please get me a time machine, so we can do those nights right?" She rubs the back of her head and climbs up on her knees, leaning over to whisper in Aubrey's ear. "If I had known, I would have crawled in your bed so you could get a better view. And then maybe we could have swapped places."

"We do have beds at home," Aubrey blurts out without thinking, already past the whole it being 'just a thought' excuse. She's pretty sure that, for once, she's rendered Chloe speechless. She looks up, smiling with pride at Chloe just staring at her with an understandably skeptical look. "We could make good use of them."

Chloe licks her lips, not taking her eyes off Aubrey. She turns and straddles Aubrey's lap, pressing their lips together with enough force to nearly knock the wind out of her. She works on removing Aubrey's jacket and shirt, breaking the kiss only to yank Aubrey's shirt up over her head and toss it somewhere. Her hands go immediately after to Aubrey's pants, fumbling desperately with the button and zipper until Aubrey helps her and takes them off – kicking both her pants and shoes in a random direction. The cold air chills every centimeter of Aubrey's body and she finds herself pressing in closer to Chloe, who is practically radiating heat.

"Chloe." Aubrey pulls away from the kiss.

"What?" Chloe pulls back, breathless.

Aubrey doesn't know what to say. Look at me doesn't sound quite right, but the only place Chloe is looking is into Aubrey's eyes. Aubrey slides out from under Chloe and inches along the wall until she's far enough away that they're no longer touching. She subconsciously wraps her arms around herself then realizes any self-consciousness is ridiculous and lets her arms fall to her sides. "Surprise?"

Chloe's lips curve downward in a crooked, bemused frown. "Surprise what?" she asks, still looking at Aubrey's face.

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "Are you blind?"

"Rude," Chloe mutters under her breath, just loud enough for Aubrey to hear her. She shakes her head in confusion and looks away from Aubrey down to the floor for a moment before looking back up. She glances at Aubrey's body then does a double take, her eyes locking in on the lace bra she's wearing. "Tonight might be the actual best night of my life." Her eyes trail up and down Aubrey, and Aubrey relaxes, because with the way Chloe is looking at her, honestly, she's never felt more beautiful.

"Model for me later at home." Chloe turns her body and crashes her lips against Aubrey's mouth again, the force of it sending Aubrey backwards and bringing Chloe down on top of her.

Aubrey flips them over, one leg on either side of Chloe's thighs. "I want to go slower." It's not really that Chloe is going too fast, but sometimes it all seems to be over too quickly. It's done before she gets to experience it. It feels good, but this feels good too. She leans down and their lips touch again in a lighter, more controlled manner that sends a wave of heat down her body. She arches against Chloe's hands as they glide gently up her back then rest on her shoulder blades, her fingers entangling in the ends of Aubrey's hair. Chloe moans into the kiss, her fingernails scraping against Aubrey's skin.

Aubrey breaks the kiss and places tender kisses from Chloe's lips to her jawline then down to her neck. She can feel Chloe's chest rise and fall in hard, focused breaths and she goes lower, taking her time working down to her stomach. Glancing up, Chloe's eyes are closed, and she looks like she's completely lost in the moment. Her fingers leave Aubrey's back and she crosses her arms on the floor above her head, arching against Aubrey's lips when she momentarily stops to look at her. Aubrey smirks and continues lower, nudging Chloe's legs open and maneuvering herself, so she can lean down between them and resume kissing down Chloe's inner thigh.

Chloe gasps so loudly the entire island probably knows what they're doing. "Literal best night of my life," she mumbles, her words getting caught in a moan as Aubrey slides her tongue up and down Chloe's center. Beca may be an alto, but Aubrey can play a variety of woodwind instruments. She laughs to herself at the thought and helps Chloe lift her legs over her shoulders to make access to her easier. She uses both her tongue and fingers, speeding up and then slowing down again whenever Chloe seems close to draw it out. Chloe doesn't complain. She reaches behind her for something to grab onto as Aubrey brings her close to the edge again, accidentally knocking over a stack of crates. They fall back, the loud clattering noise when they hit the floor echoing across the entire balcony.

Chloe whimpers and Aubrey finally speeds up and holds the pace, not stopping as all of Chloe's muscles tense and she knocks a few more of the crates over. She waits until Chloe is gasping and trembling underneath her as she comes back down to slow down then slowly kisses her way back up to Chloe's mouth. Chloe shakily entangles her hands back into Aubrey's hair and rests her legs back down, all of her energy fading into something more focused and passionate. She reaches around and unhooks Aubrey's bra then slides her hands down and pushes at the fabric of her panties with her fingertips.

Aubrey sits up on her knees and pulls the straps of her bra down her arms then tosses it off with their clothes. She has to sit back on Chloe's legs to be able to slip her panties off and drop those to the side too. It isn't until she slides them off that she realizes how damp they are. Chloe waits until they're gone then slides one of her hands between Aubrey's legs, rubbing her fingers up and down with just enough pressure that the pleasure nearly knocks Aubrey over. She struggles back up onto her knees, her body overwhelmed by the sensation Chloe's hand is leaving. And then Chloe stops. Aubrey grabs her hand to keep it from leaving her body – even just the feeling of it still against her sends tremors through her.

"What do you want?" Chloe asks, propping herself up with her free arm. "You name it."

It's impossible to think. Aubrey can barely focus on anything outside of Chloe touching her. She swallows thickly and places more pressure on Chloe's hand, which just causes Chloe to laugh. Chloe slides her hand out from under Aubrey's, and Aubrey thinks she might actually cry from the need for friction down there. She rubs her own fingers up and down for a sense of relief, but Chloe grabs her hand before she can do much for herself.

"Hey, I know we talked about that, but it's my turn with you," Chloe teases. She slides out from under Aubrey and eases Aubrey onto her back, half lying down on top of her. She's radiating warmth and the weight of her body is finally something grounding, and Aubrey thinks she might dissolve underneath her. Chloe slides her arm between them and begins rubbing her fingers in circles with just the right amount of speed. Electricity surges through her entire body in intense waves that shoot upward and fade into a tingling every time Chloe kisses her. Chloe keeps a slow, steady pace until Aubrey can barely take it anymore and she's sure Chloe's arm must be ready to fall off. But Chloe doesn't stop or speed up. Instead, she keeps Aubrey right on the edge, and Aubrey's entire body is shaking as she wraps her arms around Chloe and tries to draw her in even closer.

Finally, right when Aubrey thinks her entire body might snap from the tension, Chloe picks up the pace and every centimeter of her feels like it's breaking apart. She can't tell if the stars she sees are in the sky or from the euphoria. She collapses into the floor, almost convinced she might fall straight through it and bring Chloe down with her. Chloe might be the only thing holding her in place. Chloe breaks the kiss and Aubrey takes several deep breaths, her body throbbing enough that she can feel all of her pulse points.

"Do you want to head back?" Chloe murmurs, propping herself up on one arm, her other arm resting on Aubrey's chest.

Aubrey shakes her head.

"Okay." Chloe rolls onto her stomach and curls up into Aubrey, tucking her face into the space between Aubrey's shoulder and neck.

Aubrey hugs her tight, staring up at the sky. "I love you, Chloe." If she has to be on this god forsaken island, she wants to stay here. Just right here for the entire week with Chloe beside her.

Is this the end of the moment,
Or just a beautiful unfolding,
Of a love that will never be,
For you and me.
-Safetysuit