- Part 1 -

Arrhythmia

There's two sides to every story,
But I don't know how this one ends.
You want fire and you want glory,
But there's a struggle that lies within.
There's a war in my head,
And I don't understand how we ended up here.
There's a tear in my heart where your lies left a mark,
And now nothing is clear.
Whose side are you on?
-Ruelle

No.

Chloe is frozen for a moment, like she's trying to translate the word from another language into her own. "What does that mean?" she asks, clearly taken aback by Beca's reaction.

"I don't know," Beca answers, high-pitched and slightly out of breath, "And we don't have time to hash it out right now, Chloe, okay? We need to go. Our friends are missing."

Chloe's arms fall limply next to her sides, and she just stares at Beca.

Aubrey looks down the path. The island feels like a camera panning in dizzying circles around them, picking up speed as time goes on – like they're the center of an orbit. She's felt this way once before, right after regaining consciousness from passing out. They don't have time to figure this out right now, because their friends are missing. Sophia is missing. It doesn't click in her head the same way it did moments before, in the chapel. Even Chloe and Beca feel like far away, intangible thoughts.

"Okay," Chloe says the word so quietly that Aubrey barely hears it – almost thinks she imagines it. But she must have said it, because suddenly she's walking ahead of Aubrey and Beca, wiping her cheeks with the palm of her hand.

Aubrey feels stuck to the ground. She looks at the back of Chloe's head, then at Beca.

Beca doesn't look at her. She just rubs at her cheeks with the back of her hand and follows Chloe, walking fast.

Their friends are missing and just a passive okay to end Chloe's outburst; nothing is how it's supposed to be. Aubrey follows both of them, walking before she even registers her mind finally agreeing with the decision to send signals to her feet that they need to hurry. The gravel crunches under their shoes, the only sound aside from every time one of them sniffles. The silence manages to somehow not be awkward, but it's tense in a different way that fills her with dread about going back to the inn. She picks up the pace to catch up with Beca, unable to shake the unmistakable feeling that they're being watched.

Up ahead, Chloe hugs her mid-section and bows her head, not looking back at either of them.

Aubrey thinks she should say something to one of them, but when she tries, she loses the ability to speak. Okay. The word repeats itself in her head. Okay. Louder. Okay. Softer. Okay? A question. Their friends are missing. Okay. It doesn't stop, and as they pass behind The Cannery, she kicks a rock, hard, to get the word out of her head. Okay.

Chloe looks at the rock fly past her and clatter on the ground several feet ahead, then stops and turns to look at Aubrey – lips parted in confusion. Even Beca stops and looks at her. Aubrey speeds past them, trying to ignore them both.

"What the hell was that?" Beca asks, staring at her.

Chloe just reaches out and places her hand on the small of Aubrey's back as Aubrey tries to pass her, picking up speed along with her. Her fingers dig lightly into the back of Aubrey's sweatshirt, like she's holding on to keep up. "Aubrey, wait for me," she whispers, pleading, slowing Aubrey down, "Wait." And with Beca jogging again to catch up, it occurs to her that they're all scared to get left behind – a spot where it would be easy to make them the next target. Stacie was left behind – what if she's dead? Okay. Not okay.

Aubrey has the sudden urge to tell her that she can't get the stupid word out of her head – that it's repeating, and it feels like the way she sometimes needs to wash her hands or check the oven or stand under the hottest temperature in the shower, but she can't – because when she stops and Chloe stops, Beca stops too. Okay. She isn't sure she could lay her problems on Chloe right now anyway. She uses the moment to try to wipe some of the tears from Chloe's face with her thumb, and Chloe leans into her like a cat, staring distantly at the ground. Beca might be the only one of them stuck firmly in the present moment.

Chloe tries again to rub the own tears from her face, but neither of them are making much of a difference. Her other hand is still gripping Aubrey's shirt as she turns to look at Beca again. "We're still not done here," she states – her voice low, angry even. Not what Aubrey would have expected after Beca refusing to say she doesn't love her.

Aubrey feels like she can't catch up. Not with their situation. Not with Chloe or Beca or the two of them together or their feelings for each other or even for her. She looks at Beca, too, her lips parted even though she has nothing to say. For the first time since they met, with Chloe standing next to her and Beca feet away, she sees Beca as the outsider instead of herself. She searches for a swell of pride, but it doesn't feel nearly as good as she has spent all these years dreaming it would. She tugs on Chloe to get them walking again.

"Chloe, I'm getting married," Beca says, walking alongside them next to Chloe. "I mean, not, not here, not now, but this doesn't just cancel out our engagement."

"You don't have to," Chloe says, "It looks like your marriage is pretty fucked. Are you even in love with him, Beca? Are you honestly in love with him?"

"Look, I love Je-"

"You know that's not what I asked."

"Can I ask you a question?" Beca asks, calmer than just moments before.

Chloe looks taken aback for a moment before she nods. "Of course," she answers, "Anything."

Beca clears her throat. "Are you in love with Aubrey?"

"Yes," Chloe answers, before Aubrey even has time to process the question is about her.

"So then why, pray tell, do you care so much about me?" Beca asks.

"Why is it so wrong for me to love both of you?" Chloe shoots back, "It doesn't have to be the competition that you two make it out to be."

"So, what, you wanna be involved with me and Jesse?" Beca asks, "See things from my point of view?"

"I'm not in love with Jesse," Chloe says simply.

"Well, maybe I am," Beca says, and it throws Aubrey for a loop that Beca doesn't simply respond that she isn't in love with Aubrey. Maybe she just didn't think to say it - but it's rare for Beca to miss an opportunity to point out how much she doesn't like her.

"You aren't." The words slip out before Aubrey has a chance to stop them, and Beca just stares at her. She looks at Chloe. "She told me she isn't."

"Dude, that wasn't yours to tell," Beca snaps.

"Guys, they only found Stacie," Chloe's attention is urgently diverted elsewhere as they approach the inn, and Aubrey looks up to see the other group has located Stacie – but not Donald or Sophia. She releases Aubrey's shirt and picks up the pace down the road, toward where they're standing at the foot of the stairs.

Aubrey reaches out and grabs Beca's arm before she can bolt after Chloe. "We could die here, Beca," she whispers, not bothering to sugarcoat the truth for her, "You should figure out who you want it to be with – even if it's not her." She doesn't wait around for a response; she also doesn't expect Beca to pick up the pace after her and take a hold of her arm in return.

Beca's response isn't a threat. It isn't a hint. It doesn't hold an ounce of suggestion behind it. It's just a question - a question directed solely at Aubrey. "And what if I decide that it is?" The way she says it makes Aubrey feel like she's the one who is put on the spot here. Like this has everything to do with her, and nothing to do with Beca and Chloe at all.

They're walking closer to where The Bellas can overhear them, and Aubrey decides to make a decision on Beca and Chloe here and now. It doesn't require forgiveness to make it, because the moment they step on that boat, it will be an entirely different world than they're in here. She can exercise a different form of logic when their lives aren't a risk, take back things she has said under the guise of shock – but right here, right now, they could die, and she herself needs to figure out how she wants that to look as well. And her choices affect Chloe almost as much as they affect herself. "Okay," she says, and Beca looks like this wasn't the answer she was expecting at all, "But you better figure it out now. And don't change your mind this time."

"You're asking me to choose between Chloe and the guy I'm engaged to – and then somewhere in all that is you," Beca points out, like Aubrey doesn't already know the weight behind what she's asking Beca to do. "What the hell would I say to him?" she asks, and with that, Aubrey knows, whether Beca knows it or not, she's made her choice – it was made the moment Chloe, so innocent and naïve about their futures, burst into her shower stall four years ago.

"The truth," Aubrey answers, "You could tell us all the truth."