- Part 1 -

Arrhythmia

It's like we're dreaming wide awake.
Everything bends until it breaks.
-Ruelle

"Why?" Aubrey can't believe the word as it leaves her mouth. But it makes sense, when she forces herself to think about it, that she would ask rather than just continue to force her own agenda. Because it looks like she and Beca are working together now. They both have a common interest after all.

"Why?" Beca repeats like it's the most ridiculous question she's ever heard. "I want to be armed." She glances at everyone else. They're staring. "What if something happens to you?"

Aubrey feels her throat close as she tries to swallow. She knows what Beca means. Like what if she dies and it's just Beca and Chloe? What if she dies in a way that doesn't leave Beca access to her gun?

"You know I should have a gun," Beca says.

Aubrey nods. That much is true. Beca should have a gun. But she can't back down, not after arguing with Luke.

"So let's go get the guns."

They're wasting time doing exactly what Aubrey said they shouldn't be doing – trying to sort out opinions.

"We can make up some excuse why we have to go back," Beca says, "We can say I forgot something. I need one of those guns, Aubrey."

"And I need a second to breathe," Aubrey snaps. She clenches her teeth together. It's impossible to shake the feeling of blood sticking to her hands and she wrings them together in front of her. Just several minutes ago, she and Cynthia-Rose were having a conversation. Now they're never going to speak to each other again. She never told her how much she appreciated her talent and hard work in the Bellas. It was the wrong idea to follow Beca over here and start to think. She's wasting time. She takes a deep breath through her nose then releases it slowly through her mouth. "We'll tell them we need to regroup," she whispers. She needs to look at the map anyway, see where they might find another boat. And she'll be damned if she relies on Jesse to get here there.

"Yeah." Beca nods. "Okay. Whatever works." She takes a step back toward the group then stops and looks at Chloe. "Chloe, you coming?"

Flames reflect in Chloe's eyes as she stares down the road at the docks. Her arms are crossed like she's hugging herself, her nails digging into the sides of her shirt. Beca's question flies right by her.

"Chloe!" Aubrey snaps her fingers loudly in Chloe's direction.

Chloe jumps and turns to face them. "Um, yeah." She nods her head and looks back and forth between them. "Yeah, totes." Her confidence in her response briefly falters before she decides to stick by her response and nods her head again. "I agree." She glances at the fire again.

"Don't look back at that." Beca reaches forward and pats Chloe's arm. "Hey."

Even that barely grips Chloe's attention. It takes a few slow-motion seconds before Chloe looks at her again, placing her hand over the area where Beca's hand touched.

It's difficult to tell how much of what Aubrey is seeing is trauma and how much of it is Xanax.

"You know, I missed your face," Beca blurts out awkwardly, nervous almost. She breathes a laugh. "That sounded less dumb in my head."

"No, um…" Chloe swallows hard and squeezes her own arm, "No, I missed yours, too."

Beca nods toward the group and starts walking backwards. "I think we should go."

"Yeah." Chloe follows her, almost absently.

Aubrey lifts her head up high and walks back toward the group. "We need to regroup," she says, "To make sure everyone is on the same page of what the plan is here."

"We all already know it's to get on another boat," Luke says.

Aubrey ignores him. "So you get can your guns as long as you're quick about it."

"Beca, can you not see that this is about control?" Jesse whispers, clearly thinking that Aubrey isn't close enough to hear him.

"Allow me to remind you that mutiny is a punishable crime," Aubrey states, and Jesse just stares at her. Punishable by what in this particular scenario, she isn't sure, but she has more people on her side here than he has on his. "Everybody stick close," she turns her attention back to the group as a whole, "We'll discuss what to do next in The Candlewick's lobby." She watches satisfied as everyone turns to walk back in the direction of the inn. Only satisfied isn't the right word. The thought of going back there, just walking in circles from place to place, makes her stomach feel hard as a rock. They don't know what they're doing.

Jesse turns his head, watching Aubrey even as he walks in front of her toward their destination.

"Look," Beca murmurs to him, walking sideways, curving them toward the side of the road, "I don't think now is the time to be butting heads with Aubrey, because you feel some type of way."

"I feel some type of way?" Jesse asks, his voice not quite as low.

"Hey, Aubrey?" Chloe asks, not tuned into what's happening just a few feet in front of them at all.

Aubrey raises her eyebrows – trying to walk, overhear Beca and Jesse, pay attention to Chloe, and keep an eye out for threats all at the same time.

"Earlier, on the phone…" Chloe pauses like she doesn't really want to continue. "Did I tell my mom I love her?"

Aubrey frowns at the question.

"I don't, I don't feel like I did," Chloe says.

"You did," Aubrey rushes to tell her, "You did right after she said it to us." Truth is, because of her, they hung up so quickly that neither of them told Chloe's mom they loved her back after she said it.

Chloe nods. But she doesn't believe it. Aubrey can tell. She sniffles and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. "What if she doesn't know?"

Aubrey isn't following. "Know what?"

"That I love her," Chloe answers.

"Don't be stupid, Chloe, both of your parents to know that you love them." There isn't a person in this world that Chloe loves who isn't aware of it. Even the many celebrities she stalks can't avoid knowing, thanks to social media. Chloe swears up and down that the tweet David Guetta once sent her thanking her for 'ALL the love' was not just a ploy to convince her to be a little less passionate.

"She said don't come here," Chloe says, her voice raw to a point it sounds like it has to hurt her throat, "She said not to do it, and I just ignored her. I acted like what she had to say didn't even matter."

"So you think that means she thinks you don't love her?" Aubrey asks.

Chloe shrugs and wipes her nose again.

"Well, you know when we get home, she'll be on the first flight to Queens and never leave us alone," Aubrey says, "So you can deal with your misconceptions then." She can't say she's against the idea of Chloe's mom coming to stay and refusing to leave at this particular moment in time. The idea only makes her even more desperate to go home.

Chloe looks up at her.

"Your mom knows you love her," Aubrey tells her, "And you can tell her again when we get home."