RJRMovieFan: I'll touch more on Bechloe later.
Ash: I require dinner and a movie first.
Wolf: Gracias!
Malexfaith: Is there a future after this? Who knows. (Besides me. I know what happens.)
Vickstik: You think this is breaking? This is nothing.
Pixie1913: You have no idea the emotional connection I have to Aubrey at this point in this story. It's like living two lives.
Guest: Thank you!
96itadakimasu96: Yeah, there's been a lot in her life to keep her in that place where she has to prove her point.
SunDanceQT: Chloe's experience in their relationship is something I'll touch on later.
A dedicated fan: Please compulsively review me, because your reviews are making me so happy. I think Aubrey is a broken person who hides behind anger - but, not too broken to be hopeless. As Chloe keeps trying to tell Beca, Aubrey is human just like everyone else. She has the same feelings everyone else has. Sometimes, it's just expressing them or trying not to express them that gets in her way. Sick fics are my favorite. The hurt/comfort genre is about all I read.
Andiclauds: Man, everyone wants to hug Aubrey now. Finally. Knowing what I know, back when everyone was mad at her, I was so sad.
Arrhythmia
You say that I'm paranoid,
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me.
It's not like I make the choice,
To let my mind stay so fucking messy.
- Linkin Park
It's dark aside from the dim light of a flashlight – and everything is unnervingly quiet and still. Aubrey slowly sits up and looks around in confusion. She remembers being outside, some bits and pieces of other people's conversations – and now it's the middle of the night, and Chloe and Beca are on either side of her, sleeping. She checks to make sure they're actually asleep before she has even accepted that she's awake, that they're still breathing, still alive. Then she counts the other people in the room. Everyone is there. Everyone is asleep. Except for Lilly, who is sitting on a chair with a flashlight in her hand. And Aubrey is awake, trying to process the past several hours of missing time.
Her head feels fuzzy, and she bends her legs to rest it on her knees for a moment. She kind of remembers falling down, as much as she wishes she doesn't. It had still been light out. What time is it now? She lifts her head again. There are no battery powered clocks around. Beside Lilly is someone's phone. They must be using that to tell time until it dies - or they die. She considers asking her the time, but how likely would it be to hear the answer? If she wants to know, she's going to have to get up and check. It's fine. She really has to get up and pee anyway. She'll do that first. She just has to stand.
Careful not to wake Chloe, or Beca (who would then wake Chloe), she uses the wall to help herself up. The problem with waking Chloe is that while Chloe can pee with someone else in the room, that does not fly for Aubrey. And if Chloe is worried about her, she will definitely not let Aubrey go alone. She almost falls, but the wall catches her, and after a moment, her legs begin to feel less like jello. They feel like the rest of her body. Just one dull, nagging ache. Sleeping on the floor did not do her any favors.
It's cold, so she grabs the sweatshirt from the ground and puts it on, then takes the flashlight from beside Beca. What kind of idiots sleep on the floor of a hotel without realizing they could at least gather up some pillows and blankets? Chloe and Beca, that's who. She pinches the bridge of her nose. She's just being irritable because she's tired and in pain and absolutely miserable. They're all scared and tired. No one is thinking. She drops her hand to her chest to massage just under her ribs with her fingertips and walks to the bathroom.
There is no blood on the mirror. It's the first place she shines the flashlight, and it's clean. She really shouldn't be here alone. She shouldn't leave Chloe's side at all at this point – even if she was out of commission all day and nothing happened to her. She closes the door and locks it behind her. The bathroom is even colder than the lobby. She rests the flashlight and her gun on the sink, and quickly does what she needs to do. At least she's in the bathroom to pee and not throw up again. The nausea isn't gone, but it's tolerable. That's one good thing. Two good things. She isn't a nauseous and there is no blood on the mirror.
There is also no hot water, which sends waves of discomfort throughout her entire body, but also means she doesn't stand there for longer than necessary compulsively washing her hands. It isn't a germ thing - not always. It's a need to do it thing. She rinses her face off to try to take edge off of wanting to crawl out of her own skin, then leaves the bathroom.
She's going to ask Lilly what time it is, and then she's going to try to go back to sleep until it's time for them to leave. In reality, she knows she's just going to lay there trying not to think of what could possibly happen while she's asleep and unaware.
Aubrey stops where the hallway meets the lobby when she notices Lilly's flashlight is on the floor next to her feet. She must have thought Aubrey was taking over night duty next and fallen asleep. Aubrey takes a few steps forward with the intention of checking the phone then telling Beca and Chloe they should leave now.
The phone is gone.
Aubrey shines the light around on the floor then shines it on Lilly directly. She's slumped over sideways in the chair, her eyes wide open, and blood is beginning to pool beneath her and soak into the chair. There are three gaping holes in her back, and a knife positioned perfectly on the back of the chair.
Aubrey's breath nearly stops and she catches the light just as it slips from her hand. Maybe she's still asleep. No. If she was dreaming, she would have woken up screaming. She's awake, and she can't make a sound.
She backs up slowly, even though she knows she should be running, then sinks down between Chloe and Beca without making a sound. She places a hand on either of them and shakes them awake. The moment Chloe tries to talk, Aubrey clamps a hand over her mouth until she gets it. Beca, fortunately, doesn't say anything – just sits up and looks at Aubrey. Then follows Aubrey's gaze to Lilly.
Chloe clamps her hand over her own mouth to muffle the noise she makes when she sees her too.
Aubrey is so fucking sorry that Chloe has to see any of this. She hands the flashlight to her, and she and Beca pick up all their things. It might be pointless to run, she realizes. She wasn't in the bathroom that long. Whoever did this is more than likely hiding in the darkness of the room, staring right at them. Her hand travels behind her to the gun and rests cautiously on the handle. Her other hand grabs Chloe and drags her behind her.
"What are you doing?" Luke asks, slowly sitting up from his spot on the floor, "Are you leaving?"
Aubrey snatches the light from Chloe and holds it to her face so he can see her clamp her lips together and place her finger in front of her mouth. Her hand immediately goes back to the gun. This is bad. They can't leave if someone else is awake.
Beca must realize this too. "Get everyone else up," she whispers to him.
Luke looks ready to argue until he turns his head and sees Lilly too. "Oh, shit," he mumbles and quietly gets up.
Aubrey and Chloe move slowly to the other side of the room. She can't see anyone else in the lobby. There were no footsteps that went past the bathroom. She would have heard the front door open, right? "Fat Amy," she whispers and kneels down to wake her up. Next to her is Bumper. She stands up and kicks him 'lightly' in the side. "Get up. We have to leave." She looks around the lobby again. There isn't even an out of place shadow. "Seriously, get up," she hisses and kicks Bumper harder this time. She knows he isn't dead. She wouldn't mind just leaving him here while the rest of them escaped – but stupid fucking morals and all. That would be different than leaving the group with Beca and Chloe. He finally grumbles at her and starts to wake up.
Everybody stands, and still nothing. Not a movement. Not a sound.
They slowly make their way to the door, and Jesse opens it. It creaks. No one could have left after killing Lilly without Aubrey hearing that noise. And even as Fat Amy and Bumper are the last ones to walk out the door, nothing happens.
Aubrey gives the flashlight back to Chloe then takes her other hand and drags her along as she jogs a few steps to catch up with Beca. She takes her hand off the gun to place it on Beca's shoulder so they all stay together. Something should be happening right now. She gives the inn one last look. Just like everything else - this doesn't make any sense.
"What are you thinking?" Beca asks, looking back at her.
"I think they wanted us to leave," Aubrey whispers.
"Do you think they knew we were already going to?" Chloe asks.
"I don't know." Aubrey looks around. It's drizzling. Not hard. But it must have been raining for awhile, because everything is wet and muddy. The only footprints she sees around them are there own.
"Dude, they waited for you to wake up to do that," Beca points out, "That wasn't a coincidence."
That doesn't make Aubrey feel any better.
"How do we know Aubrey didn't do this?" Bumper announces from behind them, "No one else thinks it's kinda weird that everything was fine all day, and then the minute she wakes up, someone else is dead?"
"I did not do this!" Aubrey defends herself immediately without realizing how loud she's being, "How dare you?"
"She was trying to leave when I woke up," Luke says from the front, turning to face them, "All three of them were."
"Bec…" Jesse looks at her in disbelief.
"Okay, Aubrey didn't do this," Beca defends her.
"Are you sure?" Jesse asks.
Chloe scoffs.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Aubrey could not kill an entire island full of people," Beca replies, "Do you hear how stupid you guys sound?"
"Bad things have been happening when she's around," Fat Amy adds her own two cents, "And nooot so much when she's been gone."
"My bet is, she killed the Asian girl, then woke up Beca and Chloe and convinced them to leave," Luke says, "And when I woke up, she panicked."
"Maybe she doesn't even know she did it," Jesse says.
"I read a news story about a guy who had like a hundred and five personalities, and every time he switched, the rest of them would just black out and have no idea what he did," Bumper says.
"Are you guys fucking serious?" Beca asks.
"You've said it yourself, Beca, she always has been a little…" Jesse doesn't finish it with an actual word. He doesn't have to.
Beca groans. "I was mad at her!" she yells. She turns to look at Aubrey. "Aubrey, I…"
Aubrey shrugs her off before she can finish. "It's fine." It's not like she doesn't know what people say about her. They've never bothered to hide it. Never once in her entire life. Bossy. Rude. Good for nothing kid. Stuck up. In the way. Stick up her ass. Snobby. Conceited. Lazy child. Bitch. Little Brat. Ignorant. Crazy. She forces a tight smile at Beca to prove she doesn't fucking care what Beca, or anyone at Barden, or school before that, or anyone at work, or her parents have to say. Any one of those words will make a great epitaph for them to remember her by.
Aubrey pulls her sleeve down over her hand and wipes the rain and the tears that have blended in with it from her face. The moment she lowers her hand, Chloe grabs it again and laces their fingers. She realizes she misses Chloe's mom. Maybe she'll write a eulogy and read it in front of Aubrey's parents – tell them this wasn't her fault, even though they'll never believe her. She was a 'good kid'. Cute as a 'bunny'. She never appreciated the nickname. It was embarrassing. It didn't fit. She'd do anything to hear it one more time. Bunny. Bunnies were adorable. Cuddly. Warm. Everything that did not make up Aubrey Posen – except to the Beales.
Chloe sniffles and wipes her face with her arm.
They all fall silent.
"Where are we going?" Bumper finally asks.
"The Cannery is up ahead," Aubrey announces to them.
No one acknowledges her, except for Chloe and Beca, who both look at her and nod.
That means the deer is up ahead too. Aubrey switches Chloe to the other side of her and walks them closer to the edge of the road so she won't have to see it.
"What the hell is that?" Luke whispers.
They must be even closer to The Cannery than she thought. "Chloe, close your eyes." She doesn't want her to see the deer dead and mutilated. And she doesn't want her to see the gunshot wound that Aubrey put in its head.
"Holy…" Jesse doesn't finish his sentence.
Chloe does what she's told without question – even as everyone around them begins to speak in only obscenities.
Aubrey tells herself she isn't going to look at it, but she does anyway. The ground around it is wet, muddy, dark maroon under the dim light of there flashlights. The deer itself bloated now. Flies crawl in and out of what's left of its face. That is what happens after death. Decay. Decomposition. Rotting. Maggots. She read in a science article that the brain remains alive after what scientists consider to be death – meaning that she could potentially spend a few seconds or more knowing that she's dead, thinking about the putrefaction of her own body.
Beca seizes her by the arm that hurts and drags her forward. "Stop torturing yourself." She pushes her toward The Cannery then lets go to keep walking once they're closer, completely unaware.
Tiny specks of light flood Aubrey's vision as pain shoots from her wrist to her elbow. She releases Chloe's hand and cradles her arm to her mid-section, waiting for it to go back to just being a semi-tolerable pulsating pain.
"Let me see again" Chloe carefully stretches her arm out and rolls up her sleeve, while everyone else walks up to the bar.
"It's locked, Audrey," Luke says.
Aubrey already knows it's locked. "Well, try the windows," she snaps at all of them.
"One to ten, how bad?" Chloe asks, gently sliding her fingers over the bruises.
Aubrey's mind is screaming for Chloe to stop touching it bad. It doesn't feel better with Chloe's hand there like it did before. "Like a four?" She nods. "Four."
Chloe rolls her sleeve back down and lets her hands linger there for a moment. She looks like she's about to call Aubrey out on the lie; instead she just wraps an arm around her and walks with her to the open window where Beca is waiting for them.
xxxxx
The Cannery didn't smell when Aubrey and Chloe came to retrieve the gun. But it smells now. It isn't a particularly strong smell, but it isn't a good smell either.
Beca makes a sound of disgust as she's the last one to join everyone in the supply closet. "What is that?" she asks and closes the window behind her.
"It smells like fish," Chloe complains.
Chloe's right. It does smell like fish. Rotten fish. It's making Aubrey feel sick all over again. It gets stronger as they exit the supply closet and walk into the main bar.
"Guess no one killed the delivery guy yet," Luke comments.
There are boxes stacked on the wall. Some are labeled 'Fresh Fish' and others aren't labeled at all. Aubrey imagines they were delivered before all of this and they just hadn't started to smell yet when she and Chloe were here.
"Is anyone going to help?" Luke asks, grabbing one of the 'Fresh Fish' boxes, "We can stack them outside."
Chloe makes a grossed out face. No one else really budges. Apparently no one wants to die smelling like already-dead fish.
"Audrey, give me a hand," Luke says.
Oh, so now they want her help. Aubrey folds her arms and tries not to flinch at how it hurts. She isn't sure she could even lift the boxes right now anyway. "Do it yourself."
Luke peeks inside the box then looks at her again. "Is it because I have crabs?"
"Chloe, stop me from decking him."
Chloe pulls her by the shirt sleeve over to the bar and rests the flashlight on top of it. Between all their flashlights, the room is lit up in a light glow.
Aubrey drops her things on the floor and sits down on one of the stools. It feels like it was years ago that she was here throwing darts with Luke, getting her ass kicked at pool by Beca. She looks at the pool table.
"You wanna go for best two out of three now?" Beca asks, looking between her and the table.
In what world would Aubrey Posen not take that challenge? This one. She shakes her head.
It's Benji who finally gives in and starts to help Luke. Jesse opens the door for them and they begin piling the boxes outside.
"I feel like I'm in Silent Hill," Beca comments and grabs the flashlight from the bar. She shines it around on different things.
Aubrey has no idea what or where that is, but it doesn't sound pleasant.
"I prefer Mario Cart," Chloe replies.
So it's a video game. Aubrey rests her elbow on the table and her head against her hand.
"Yeah, I'd rather Grand Theft Auto," Beca says. She nudges Aubrey. "What about you?"
"I don't think that Aubrey has ever played a video game?" Chloe answers for her.
"What?" Beca asks.
There are a lot of things that Aubrey hasn't done that she's beginning to wish she had changed her mind about. Video games. Cartoons. Basically everything that Chloe has ever tried to convince her to do that Aubrey's parents had banned from their home for being a waste of time. She crosses her legs and starts to shake her foot while tapping her pointer finger against the side of her head. If they get out of here, she's going to try everything.
Chloe places her hand on Aubrey's knee, slowing down the shaking, but not quite able to make her stop.
"Jackpot!" Fat Amy yells from across the bar and gathers a handful of chip bags out of one of the unlabeled boxes.
"We should probably eat," Beca comments, looking at her.
Chloe nods. "You wanna go look in the boxes?" she asks Aubrey.
Aubrey isn't hungry in the slightest. She ignores the question.
"You have to put something in your stomach besides water," Chloe tells her, "Do you want me to find you something?"
Does she? It doesn't seem like she can even keep that down. Aubrey nods to appease her.
"I got you." Chloe winks at her and walks over to the boxes, Beca close behind.
Jesse closes the door once all the fish boxes are stacked outside and Luke and Benji are both inside. They all raid through the boxes - all of them, except her. Maybe they should think about rationing. It's probably too late for that – in more ways than one.
Benji walks past everyone and stops behind Aubrey. "Aubrey?" He must not be hungry either.
Aubrey sniffles and quickly wipes her eyes for what feels like the hundredth time before she spins around on the stool to face him. He looks like he's been crying too.
Benji gives her a tiny wave. "I just wanted to say I don't think you did this."
Aubrey doesn't know what to say. 'Thank you' doesn't seem to fit.
"I'm sorry we couldn't be better friends. But you know, Trebles and Bellas rivalry – it's a tradition." Benji tries to smile at her. "I just wanted to tell you that." He waves again and excuses himself.
Aubrey doesn't have time to process before Chloe is beside her again, dumping a bunch of things onto the bar.
"I found these." Chloe holds up a bag of unsalted corn chips. "It's the blandest thing over there."
Aubrey nods her approval even though she still doesn't want them. She keeps shaking her leg. Keeps tapping. Keeps wondering if she'll consciously know she's dying.
"Hey. Remember when we first met?" Chloe asks and opens the bag. "When you would do anything to avoid me?" She places the bag on the counter and wraps her arms around Aubrey. "Now look at us." She presses Aubrey's leg against the stool with her own and finally stops her foot from shaking. The rest of her trembles in its place. Or maybe she was already shivering.
Aubrey regrets it. She regrets every single time she walked the other way when she saw her, got up and walked away from her, brushed her off. Her father was right about one thing – she always wasted so much time. "I-"
"I liked the chase," Chloe cuts off her apology before she can even say it, "You were always such a mystery. It makes…me feel special to know you – like I'm important. Do you remember when someone pulled the fire alarm during the middle of Freshman year?"
Aubrey doesn't want to do this right now, but it's clearly making Chloe feel a little lighter, so she plays along. "The one where you decided not to wear a jacket?"
"You were coming back from somewhere," Chloe says, "And you were so mad you couldn't get inside. You turned around and saw me, and you rolled your eyes and took off your jacket, then just threw it at my head and stormed away. That's when I knew you secretly loved me."
"You looked cold," Aubrey says, "Also, you didn't give it back for two weeks."
"Well, I think we're even now," Chloe replies and tugs at the sleeve of her Yankees hoodie, "I have a feeling I'm not getting this back even after we get home." She rests her head against Aubrey's shoulder. "Whatever. I guess you can keep it."
Aubrey focuses on breaking some of the chips in half for a few moments. She has to know… "Why me, Chloe? You could have had anyone."
"That's a bit of an exaggeration," Chloe says, "Unless David Guetta is just playing really hard to get on Twitter."
Aubrey snaps another chip in half.
"Let's trade," Chloe mumbles into her shoulder, "You have to tell me your favorite memory, and then I'll tell you why I love you."