Malexfaith: I love writing Chloe's family. I usually can't do fluff, but I can do supportive family moments.
RJRMovieFan: I'm sorry you didn't like how I write her.
Bechloe-bible-49: Aubrey is working on the opening up thing. She'll get there.
96itadakimasu96: Thanks. I was very curious.
Wendy: The story wouldn't work as Chaubrey. You'll see what I mean eventually.
Pixie1913: Writing Aubrey interacting with Chloe's parents has become the only fluff I have ever managed to write, and I love writing it so much. I can't wait for a certain future chapter involving Aubrey and Chloe's mom.
Andiclauds: I have only ever had 3 ships in my 15 years of fandom, which I think makes me that much more passionate about those 3. Idek how I started shipping Chaubrey. I just suddenly was in love.
Vickstik: Don't we all wish for a love like that. And parental figures like Chloe's.
SunDanceQT: That was one of my favorite scenes to write.
Arrhythmia
We are buried in broken dreams;
We are knee-deep without a plea.
I don't want to know what it's like to live without you,
Don't want to know the other side of a world without you.
- Ruelle
"It's an open bar," Luke says, pouring himself a shot, "Cheers."
"We're running for our lives and you're getting drunk?" Beca asks.
"We're all going to die, Becky. I want to go out not feeling it." Luke downs the shot.
"We're not all going to die," Jesse tries to reassure them.
Beca shakes her head and sorts through bottles and cans behind the bar.
Aubrey watches them decide how to live what might be their last moments, thinking about what Chloe said. She wants to go home with her and fix so many things. She wants to go back in time and make every single second matter. She would be more honest – with Chloe, with herself. She would pick less fights, not work so much overtime, and spend time instead buying her flowers, walking with her through Times Square, watching TV with her on the couch, appreciating their simple, domestic life they shared. She would talk to her about getting married, about having kids. They could bring in Chloe's (stupid) cat.
"What are you thinking?" Chloe asks her.
"That I love you." Aubrey's breath hitches. "I want more time."
Chloe pulls back from her, forcing Aubrey to sit up straight and face her. "We are going to be okay," she says and wipes Aubrey's cheeks with her thumbs, "We are." She brushes Aubrey's hair away from her face with her fingers and tucks it behind her ears. "And we have time right now. Look, we're here right now."
But in a few seconds they might not be. Aubrey has never wanted anything more than she just wants to go home.
"Hey," Beca interrupts them from behind the bar.
"Hey," Chloe addresses her.
Beca slides a glass across the counter toward Aubrey. "Vodka on the rocks?" She doesn't wait for a response. "I'm kidding, it's sprite."
Aubrey glances at it. It probably won't help; she isn't sick. She doesn't even particularly like soda. But somehow it seems more appealing than water or food right now, and she knows she needs to drink no matter how much she doesn't want to. She picks it up and takes a few miniscule sips to make them happy.
"Thank you," Chloe tells Beca for her. She slides her hand slowly up and down the length of Aubrey's back, underneath her sweatshirt.
"Do you want a drink?" Beca asks Chloe.
"Um…" Chloe considers it for a moment then nods. "Yeah, something with a very small amount of alcohol."
Aubrey doesn't fight her – as long as she isn't set on getting drunk with the others. Honestly, she would probably take a drink at this point too if her stomach would allow it.
"On it," Beca says and walks away again.
"Talk to me," Chloe says.
"About what?"
"Anything," Chloe answers, "Anything you want to talk about."
There is so much, and, yet, Aubrey can't think of any of it. Her body hurts too badly to really concentrate. She takes another small swallow of sprite then puts her glass down and rests her head in her hands. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." She isn't sure she's ever told Chloe that before. Truer words have never been spoken by her. Even through all the bad, Chloe is the best thing that has ever happened to her.
She expects Chloe to be her usual cocky self – to hit her with an 'I know' and a nudge to the shoulder. She lowers one of her hands so she can even see the wink.
Chloe continues rubbing her back at a slow, even pace. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, too," she replies, "Whether you believe me or not."
"Lowest alcohol count, while still containing alcohol, that I could find," Beca says walking up to them again and passing Chloe a beer.
"Who knew you made such a good bartender?" Chloe replies.
"Yeah, I even managed to twist the lid off," Beca says.
"Impressive."
"To all the alcohol I'm going to consume when I get home to avoid dealing with this trauma." Beca lifts her own bottle.
"Cheers to that." Chloe clinks their bottles together.
Aubrey hasn't even thought of what life will be like if they do get home. Is it possible to buy a house without a bathroom mirror? To never see another deer? To live knowing all their friends didn't? She sighs and rubs her stomach.
"Are you going to throw up again?" Chloe asks and puts her bottle down.
Aubrey shakes her head. It isn't that bad right now. She thinks she might actually be starting to adjust to the dread she feels being unceasing.
"Let me know if you think we need to get up, okay?" Chloe tells her, "Don't just run last minute like you do."
Aubrey wants to tell her it's fine, especially in front of Beca – but she's already built a throne of lies to tear down. She nods her agreement.
"Haha! Jackpot!" Bumper squeals like an excited child from the other end of the bar, "Don't say I never did anything for you nerds."
Aubrey drops her other arm to her lap and lifts her head.
Bumper pulls out several plastic baggies from a drawer behind the bar and drops them on the counter. "I should charge for this, but seeing as how none of you have anything I want…"
Bumper would never make it as a drug dealer.
"I bet he doesn't even know how to roll a joint," Chloe comments, looking very interested at his find.
"And you do?" Beca asks.
"Are you surprised by that?" Aubrey asks, trying to tone down her own mild interest.
Beca pauses then shakes her head. "No."
Chloe slides her hand back out from under Aubrey's shirt. "Let me go help some helpless people," she says, "I'll be right back."
"She's not interested in going over there to be helpful at all," Beca says as they watch her go.
Aubrey shakes her head.
"You okay?" Beca asks, turning back to Aubrey.
Aubrey frowns and nods.
"You sure?" Beca actually seems concerned.
Aubrey nods again.
"If you're not, we have to know," Beca tells her.
"I'm fine," Aubrey insists.
"You passed out yesterday," Beca reminds her, as if she's not embarrassed enough, "You slept the entire day. You're not…allowed to do that. You're Aubrey."
Aubrey presses her lips together and shakes her head. Of course, she isn't allowed to be anything other than a brick wall or the energizer fucking bunny simply because she's Aubrey. It's always been like that, hasn't it? Suck it up, Aubrey. Power through it, Aubrey. Don't feel anything, Aubrey. Don't be weak. "I'm allowed to be exhausted, Beca, okay?" Chloe taught her that. Chloe – who is constantly telling her she doesn't have to be the show she puts on for everyone and for herself. "I'm sorry if that inconveniences you."
Beca doesn't have anything to say to that.
"My civic duty is done," Chloe says, coming back to them.
Aubrey releases some of the tension that gathered while she was away.
Chloe takes a hit from the joint she's holding then resumes rubbing Aubrey's back as she offers it to her. "Maybe this will help."
There are other people around. This isn't their apartment – or their dorm room, back in the day. Aubrey takes it from her and stares at it. It's not as if anyone is paying attention to her other than Beca, or like they're not all doing it. She takes a hit.
"What?" Beca asks, staring at her incredulously.
Aubrey can see how this might come as a shock. "I went to college," she excuses herself, exhaling, "There's a lot of peer pressure there." Especially when that peer happens to be Chloe. She offers it to Beca.
Beca stares at it.
"Take it," Chloe says.
"You can't tell me you've never tried it," Aubrey says dryly.
Beca presses her lips together into a sheepish smile and looks up at them.
Aubrey and Chloe both share a look. "What?" they ask simultaneously.
"There were not nearly as many people offering me drugs in college as my high school tried to warn me there was going to be," Beca says.
"You must have been hanging out with all the wrong people at Barden," Chloe says.
"I was hanging out with you," Beca points out.
Aubrey takes another hit since Beca isn't taking one. She passes it back to Chloe.
"I was too poor to buy drugs in college, Beca," Chloe tells her, "I wasn't going to offer you what Aubrey was buying, if I wanted her to keep sharing."
Beca blinks. "Let me get this straight, not only was Aubrey doing drugs, she was buying them too?"
Aubrey frowns. "You make it sound like I was doing cocaine."
"Is this not at that level for you?" Beca asks.
"More people die from alcohol related accidents than from smoking marijuana," Aubrey informs her, motioning to her beer.
"Dude, if you were smoking weed, how we're you still always so in the edge?"
Because of PukeGate, and, "Because of you."
"Where were you buying this?"
Aubrey is starting to feel like Beca is the police interrogating her about recreational drug use. "From Sigma Beta Theta," she deadpans, "Howie was a dealer."
Chloe laughs.
"What?"
"From the High Notes, Beca." Aubrey rolls her eyes. "Why would I buy marijuana from Sigma Beta Theta?"
"Why would you have sex with them?" Beca asks. She looks at Chloe. "What the hell?"
"I told you you don't know Aubrey very well," Chloe says simply.
"Clearly." Beca taps her beer bottle against the counter, far too entertained, "What else have you done besides weed and an entire fraternity?"
"It was not an entire fraternity," Aubrey growls.
"Poppers," Chloe blurts out.
"Chloe!" Aubrey's face turns fifty shades of red. That had been one time. And only because Chloe wanted to try ecstasy, and there was no way in hell Aubrey was doing ecstasy. She glares at her. "What the hell, Chloe?"
"What are poppers?" Beca asks.
"Nothing," Aubrey answers.
Chloe chews guiltily on her lower lip.
"Seriously, what are poppers?" Beca presses.
"You use them to clean your VCR, Beca, okay?" Aubrey answers her.
"Your VCR, meaning your -"
"No, not meaning your vagina," Chloe cuts her off, "You literally use them to clean your VCR."
"I'm so confused," Beca says and leans on the counter.
"Good." Aubrey nods. "Stay that way."
"Can we go back to you buying weed from the High Notes?" Beca asks.
Only because it's better than talking about the time Aubrey tried poppers. "The rules said no sex with the Trebles," she says, "There was never any rule that said no drugs from the High Notes."
Beca snorts. "Who is she?" she asks Chloe.
"Aubrey," Chloe answers.
"Since when does Aubrey have humor?" Beca asks.
"Since always," Chloe answers.
"This is not TV, I can hear you," Aubrey reminds them, "I am not trying to be funny right now. I am being serious. No one said I couldn't buy marijuana from the High Notes – except for maybe the police, but they were uninformed."
"I was just telling her she has no idea she's funny," Chloe says.
"Also, I always gave the money to Chloe, so if anyone did get arrested, it would be her, and I could just bail her out," Aubrey adds.
"And, of course, Chloe was okay with this."
"Yeah, I didn't have to use my own money," Chloe replies.
Beca rubs her face and shakes her head. "Wow."
"You sure you don't want to try it?" Chloe asks with the joint between her lips.
"That's not what I said…" Beca says.
Chloe offers it to her.
"This isn't how I imagined my first time," Beca says, taking it and looking it over.
"It never is," Chloe replies.
Aubrey can't figure out if that's an innuendo or not. She lifts her glass again and tries to drink away the dryness that smoking left in her throat. "You can't inhale it with your eyes," she says, watching Beca just look at it.
"Thank you, I wasn't aware of how my five senses work," Beca replies.
"Actually seven," Aubrey informs her, "Most people forget to include vestibular and proprioception. Nine of you include thermoception and nociception. If you want to get really detailed -"
"I don't," Beca cuts her off and places the joint between her lips.
"The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet," Aubrey says.
"Did your father say that?" Beca asks. She looks at the joint with an expression that Aubrey really wishes she could read.
"Aristotle said that," Aubrey replies, "The same person who declared we have five senses."
"And he was wrong about that."
"His science may have…needed some work," Aubrey puts it gently, "But he did have a lot of important philosophical points – which you would know had you attended your Philosophy class."
"Why go to class when I know the human version of Sparknotes?" Beca takes one more hit then passes it back to Chloe.
"To know is to do," Aubrey says, "To understand is to teach. Also -"
"Aristotle." Beca nods then takes a drink of her beer.
"He was the first person to identify dolphins as mammals, although that's not really what he called them," Aubrey keeps going, "His science wasn't completely wrong – just severely misdirected."
"Don't get her started on Copernicus," Chloe says, "I tried sending her a meme about him, and she went off for a week."
"Because it was incorrect," Aubrey takes that as an opportunity to get started on Copernicus. She turns to Beca. "She sent me some picture that said 'You may remember Copernicus as the man that said, 'Hey, what if the earth went around the sun?' to which the Catholic Church replied, 'Hey, what if we set you on fire?' Copernicus actually had an okay relationship with the church. Giordano Bruno took it a step further and suggested the universe is infinite and other solar systems exist, and the Catholic Church suggested he did not deserve to live any longer. Did you know Galileo had to publicly recant his beliefs of the Copernican Theory and live the remainder of his life under house arrest to avoid being tortured?"
"Why is this important to you?" Beca asks.
The question throws Aubrey for a loop. "It's important to be knowledgeable," she answers, "It is harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge."
"Isn't ignorance a bliss?" Beca asks.
"Well, then there should be more happy people."
"I'm pretty happy not retaining any of this," Chloe comments.
Aubrey sighs. Maybe you guys didn't have to be smart and know everything. "It's interesting – seeing how we came to know and understand what we do today."
"Dude, what if we're wrong about what we think know we know?" Beca asks, looking into the conversation now, "I mean, everyone in history was convinced they were right at some point, right?"
This also throws Aubrey through a loop. "They did not have the access to science that we have," she says, "Their theories were based on religion and, at best, educated guesses."
"Okay, but we don't have the science people might have in fifty years," Beca replies, "What if we're wrong about the things we think we know?"
"Science has tested the majority of what we know." Aubrey feels like she's on the high school debate team again. "Francis Bacon, who was influenced by Galileo and Copernicus, formalized the concept of the scientific method to assure our knowledge is logical and can be confirmed through repetition."
"But it can't be completely fail-safe, right?"
"The word you're looking for there is fail-proof. Did you not attend English either?"
"I said what I said," Beca replies.
"I feel like I'm on an episode of Cheers," Chloe mumbles into her beer bottle, "But a really boring one."
"It was a boring show," Aubrey says.
Chloe takes a drink then smirks.
"Don't do it," Aubrey warns her. It's futile.
Chloe tilts her beer bottle to her lips like it's a microphone.
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
All those nights when you've got no lights,
The check is in the mail.
And your little angel hung the cat up by its tail.
And your third fiancé didn't show…"
Just when Aubrey hopes she's about to stop after the first verse, Beca joins her and keeps it going.
"Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came."
And then Fat Amy.
"You wanna be where you can see our troubles are all the same."
And then the rest of them – except Luke.
"You wanna be where everybody knows your name."
They don't move onto the next verse. Lightening and a crack of thunder that almost makes Aubrey slip out of her bar stool to avoid being shot reminds them all of where they are. They all resume trying to cope with their shot nerves with beer and weed and junk food they'll probably never get a chance to taste again. The room falls back into tension and darkness even worse than before – like the previous few seconds were in Aubrey's imagination. It reminds her of what they said earlier about how maybe she's doing this and doesn't even know. 'Crazy'.
Aubrey grabs a mini pack of oreos from the pile of food Chloe brought over and tears it open. It might actually be worth the probability of throwing them back up to taste them one last time. She twists one of the cookies open and eats it in the way Chloe always tells her is weird, using her teeth to scrape off the cream and eat that first before eating the cookie part. It's difficult to process the experiences she might never have again – especially the simplest ones.
Chloe doesn't comment on her decision to eat. She grabs a bag of cheetos instead and opens them up, offering some to Aubrey and Beca. Oddly enough, the combination of oreos and cheetos isn't as disgusting as Aubrey expects it to be, and she swaps Chloe a cookie for more.
"Who knew eating could be so stressful," Beca mumbles to herself. She opens a second pack of cheetos. "What do you wish you'd done more of?"
"We're going to be okay," Chloe assures them again, "We're going to have plenty of time to do things."
"What are you going to do more of?" Beca rephrase herself.
"I don't know," Chloe answers with sudden irritability, "Everything."
Beca looks at Aubrey.
She nods in agreement with Chloe. "Maybe I'll find a different job," she says, "Where I work less." Then maybe she'll have the time and energy to do everything. She takes a deep breath and addresses with herself what she hasn't been able to. "Maybe a job I like."
Chloe looks at her and nods. "I think that's a good idea."
"You don't like law?" Beca asks.
"It's fine." It is what it is. It's tolerable. She's good at it. It just…doesn't spark as much joy into her as Chloe's job seems to for her.
"What do you want to do?" Chloe asks.
Aubrey has never asked herself that. There was never any option for her future. She was assigned her career at birth. She isn't sure she'd even be good at anything besides law at this point. It isn't comfortable not to know the answer to that question. "Um…I'm…" She looks around the room for any ideas on what she might want to do. Definitely not work at a bar, that's for sure. "I have to think about it." She isn't even sure what she likes outside of singing right now. She takes the joint from Chloe to finish it off. "Maybe…I'll just be a stay at home mom." She knows she'd get bored. That even if they do go home, they won't be stable enough for kids after this – at least not for several years. But, something about it sounds appealing.
Chloe smiles against the mouth of her beer bottle.
"Well," Beca says, effectively ruining the moment, "I am definitely pursuing my dream career as a Stegosaurus the moment I get home."