Chapter 6
There was anticipation in the air as the group began to gather around the dinner table that night. There was anticipation even in those not actually having to face an ex that night, everyone except Sylvie's kids and Gigi, that is.
"Rory's sure taking her time," Christopher commented, feeling a little amused at Rory's earlier nervousness since they'd both heard from Finn that Logan was joining them tonight. He didn't know how many years the two had not seen each other, but he assumed a lot longer than the truth was.
"My mother once taught me you never rush women when they're getting ready," Finn chimed in.
"And that's one of the reasons I love you. And your mother," Gigi commented, giving Finn a little peck on the lips.
"So, what does your sister do? This is a very nice place she's got here," Christopher commented, making some small talk.
It was that question Rory heard when she emerged from her bedroom, nervously patting down the skirt of her dress, hoping she looked alright. She'd applied a little eyeliner, and a hint of lip ink, whilst leaving her shoulder-length hair down and only pinning a small strand of it to pull it away from her face. She'd had to play eeny-meeny-miny-moe to decide which earrings to wear tonight, eventually having opted for electric blue sphere-shaped studs.
Rory was just about to take a deep breath and just walk right up to the table like nothing was different, when suddenly her phone rang. Instead of heading for the table, she wasn't about to ignore a call from her mother, knowing it might well be Mil who was eager to talk to her. So, instead, she took a detour out into the other end of the veranda.
"Yeah?" Rory answered, her face lighting up with a smile as she heard her little girl's voice on the other end instead of her mother. "Hey, baby," she chimed in greeting, eager to hear what the girl had to say.
Logan had taken a little afternoon nap, not being as young as he once was these days, to gather himself. However, even as a surprise to himself he'd overslept, leaving him getting ready for dinner in a hurry. Not that there was much to do other than get dressed and make sure his hair wasn't all over the place, but still - he felt a little hurried. This moment felt more monumental than he was having the time to reflect. You know, stand in front of a mirror and give yourself a pep talk. So, instead, all he really could do in this moment was hurry up the stairs into the main house, and wish that things would just be fine.
He was about one thirds of the stairway up, when suddenly a very familiar voice stopped him in his path for a second, making him smile.
"Well, it sounds like you had a great day yesterday. So, are you going to go to Luke's today?" Rory asked, already knowing the answer to that. Suddenly she turned, facing outside on the ledge of the veranda and meeting eyes with Logan, who just at that moment, feeling almost like a deer caught in headlights stumbled, missing the next step.
The response from Rory was a small giggle, which in return, caused Logan to chuckle at his own expense too, before quickly correcting his stance. What Rory's laughter reminded him though was that there was very little awkwardness between them, having seen each other in all possible moments of their lives - the good, the bad, the embarrassing and the funny.
"Oh, nothing, just… I am about to go have dinner," Rory explained into the phone.
"I promise I'll eat my veggies," Rory replied to her daughter.
Logan kept thinking of a nice come back, wanting their meeting to be something special. But he really wasn't too proud of what came out of his mouth, not really being up his game - not that he was consciously putting his game on, of course.
"Bye," Rory said into the phone, and hung up smilingly. There was some blushing there too, having not expected to see Logan privately before dinner, having prepared herself to put up a cool front in front of others.
"Glad to hear someone's looking after your vegetable intake these days," Logan commented.
"Well, it's a deal we have. She eats hers; I eat mine," Rory replied.
"You're talking about your mother, I assume?" Logan suggested, incorporating a question into that statement.
"That was my daughter. She's 4," Rory replied.
"What's her name?" Logan asked, the need for 'hellos' having diminished already. It felt so much easier just to jump right into being old friends, or more…
"We call her Mil, Emily - after my grandmother," Rory shared.
"Not another Lorelai?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrows with surprise.
"No, three was enough. Besides, her middle name is Leigh," Rory said, feeling relieved to be discussing the one topic she was always pretty eager to talk about and would do so with ease.
"I bet she's amazing," Logan commented.
"Uh-huh," Rory replied.
For a moment there was silence, the two just stood there, wondering whether they should skip back to the beginning of this conversation and say those 'Hellos' that they'd skipped, ask how the other was doing or in Rory's case inquire whether Logan had kids of his own.
Their silence was interrupted by Finn, however.
"There you two are. I know you have a lot of catching up to do, but the food is about to get cold," Finn exclaimed, appearing from behind the corner, and gave them a knowing look.
"Oh, sure," Rory said.
"Absolutely, lead the way," Logan said, almost in unison.
The first half of their dinner, stuffed zucchini flowers, and Korean style seared beef and a couple of gorgeous early-Christmas salads which were Gigi's specialty, the group just spent going over the story of how Finn and Gigi had met. And, Gigi, being her usual talkative self, filled Logan in on her person, sharing a little more than necessary, considering Logan already knew Rory's backstory and therefore some of Gigi's by extension. Gigi wasn't impolite on purpose, but she didn't inquire that often about the other people around her but was very happy just somewhat selfishly keep talking about herself or the more generic activities, it was just who she was, and in a way, Rory was already eager to punch her sister under the table to urge her to ask something about Logan, wanting to know what his life looked like without having to do it herself.
Logan, however, found himself not eager to hear such questions. He even felt like hiding his ring finger from plain sight, as if that would make a difference somehow. Rory's opinion was the one he cared about, and he just knew it. Even if she said all the right things, he just knew that deep down she wouldn't be proud of him for letting things take the course that they had taken.
"So, Logan… How's life been treating you? You're in London mostly these days as I've understood," Christopher asked, having placed his utensils onto his plate, indicating he'd finished the main course.
"Good, good…," Logan began, knowing that answer hardly suffices. But it was the polite thing to say. "I'm living just outside of London, actually these days. Virginia Water, Surrey?" Logan said.
Had he said 'Surrey' as an American, Christopher might've actually joked about the place sounding a whole lot like a place in the States, but even Logan's accent had changed with time, indicating how much living in the UK full-time had actually shaped him.
"That's not too far from Heathrow, if I remember correctly?" Finn commented, having been around the UK quite a bit himself some years ago.
"Yeah, it's pretty convenient. More convenient than actually setting foot inside the main office," Logan commented.
"Home office is the best office, isn't it?" Christopher chimed in return.
"Yeah, all for flip flops during a board meeting," Finn pitched in.
"No bras during lectures," Gigi commented, along those same lines.
"Breastfeeding during lectures," Rory added to a topic everyone had an opinion on, causing the group to chuckle.
"You went back to school?" Logan asked Rory, catching her sentence by the tail.
"I did. Got my Master's," Rory replied.
"Yeah, Rory here made herself indispensable by getting an advertising and PR degree for herself," Christopher shared, proudly. "Almost lost her to a competing business," he added.
"Yeah, I think once they would've run the background check to see I was a little too closely linked to the Hayden name, they might've had a problem with that," Rory fibbed, the situation having eventually come down to the opposite of her former stubbornness.
"So, you two work together?" Logan reflected.
"Dad's pulling back more and more actually, but technically - yes," Rory replied.
Logan felt like asking whether this - this type of career - was what she'd really wanted for herself, whether she was happy doing what she was doing, but he knew this wasn't the moment to do it.
"So, Logan - you got kids?" Gigi asked, hitting unknowingly on a frail subject.
Logan's throat felt dry for a second, and he delayed his answer by taking a sip of wine.
"Not yet," Logan replied.
Finn shot a knowing look towards his friend, and the look wasn't lost on Rory.
Was it 'not yet' as in not in the works or 'not yet' as in not born yet but conceived? The thought acted as a reality check for Rory. Despite the time she'd taken to get ready tonight to look good for him, to hope for his approval in some ways and maybe even remember how they'd been when they'd been good together - talking, being… anything, Logan actually had a life back home. Plans. Hopes. And 'Not yets'.
The rest of the evening carried on without getting too personal in terms of Rory and Logan, but rather focused on Finn and Gigi and their plans for the wedding and where they were going to be living. Finn, you see, was building them a riverside house that was due sometime next year. It wasn't anything too lavish, but certainly tailored to their likes and hobbies, while still being just big enough for the two of them and for entertaining friends. This conversation had answered many questions that Rory and Christopher had had about their plans for a family. But it was not like there was much hurry with Gigi being just 22.
There had been some tentative politeness between Rory and Logan all night. Small glances, passing of food and just plain good etiquette which Logan did almost effortlessly. Years ago Rory wouldn't have noticed the latter much, but having spent many of the past years living in Stars Hollow, she realized now that she'd kind of missed that side of life.
But since there had been little hints about Logan's glamorous life in the UK - banquets, travels and business - and even a brief mention of a 'we', Rory called it an early night, claiming to have a small headache. Her earlier enthusiasm had diminished into disappointment and self-pity.
"What was I thinking?" Rory groaned, closing her bedroom door behind her by resting her back against it.
She didn't quite know what she'd hoped for - to find Logan recently divorced and full of regret for never starting something more than Vegas with her? That was not what she really wanted, did she? She didn't want him waiting in some suspended animation for her to come back around to him. She'd always wanted him happy, healthy and successful, and at least on the outside he seemed to be all that. Was her temptation to test the waters with him, to maybe consider slipping back into something comfortable because of her own disappointments? Exes were always comfortable fallbacks for her, she couldn't deny that. It was almost embarrassing how true that was.