x
Dysrhythmia
Now, I have learned my lesson,
The price of this so called perfection is everything.
I've spent my whole life searching desperately,
To find out that grace requires nothing of me.
I, I want to sing a song worth singing;
I'll write an anthem worth repeating.
I, I want to feel the transformation;
A melody of reformation.
I'll hold it all more loosely,
And yet somehow much more dearly.
'Cause I've spent my whole life searching desperately,
To find out that grace requires nothing,
Grace requires nothing of me.
- Sleeping At Last
Aubrey opens the medicine cabinet as she wipes away her lipstick. Red may look nice on her, but she hates that color. It looks like a trail of blood on the wipe, a reminder of what she's trying to avoid seeing in the mirror. So she stares at the Elmer's glue sticks in confusion and curiosity - but mostly just confusion. It makes the whole process rather difficult – just blindly wiping her mouth until she assumes she got it all off. She tosses the wipe in the trash once her lips feel raw, wrestles her clothes off and her pajamas on, and leaves the cabinet open so she doesn't have to see the mirror if she gets up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. Then she stands there, staring absently at the sink, until a knock on the door startles her back to reality.
"Coming." She gathers up her dirty clothes and opens the door to Brian.
"You can't be a lesbian and take longer than a gay man in the restroom," he says, "It's the law."
They must have attended very different law schools. She rolls her eyes as the door shuts behind her and returns to the bedroom where Beca is sitting on the bed. "Did you know it's against the law to take longer than a gay man in the bathroom?" she asks while putting her stuff away. After a moment's deliberation, she closes the door before joining her in bed. "I can't wait to have space again."
Beca adjusts the blankets and gets comfortable against the pillows. "You do know how long it takes to build a house, right?"
"You're right."
"About what?" Beca asks.
"We need a bathroom schedule."
"That's not what I said at all."
"If he can determine how long a person is allowed to take, I should be allowed to decide what time they take it."
"Or," Beca says, "You could both be reasonable and not make the rest of us suffer."
Aubrey looks at her.
"Or I could use the café bathroom downstairs while you two work this out. Got it."
"You using the bathroom downstairs would give everyone more space," Aubrey points out.
"Why do both of my options involve me suffering?" Beca asks.
"You chose those options for yourself."
Beca stops to backtrack. "No, I said you're going to have to deal with the lack of space until the house is built."
"Every problem has a solution," Aubrey says, "Except for yours."
"Of course." Beca pulls the blanket down further. "Are you going to lay down?"
Aubrey licks her lips, the remnant aftertaste of lipstick reminding her of all the evenings after performances.
"Aubrey."
It doesn't work to snap her out of a daze, because she isn't in one. It just all comes rushing back again that it's all over. Everything. And, eventually, even she will be all over. She could fall asleep right now and just never wake up. Or she could wake up and find out that Chloe is never going to. It feels like just yesterday, she was wiping away red lipstick, exhausted yet satisfied, seconds away from collapsing in bed with Chloe's head against her shoulder.
"Do you want to sleep in the living room?" Beca asks, "We could sleep on the couch."
"No." Give Chloe's parents a night where they don't have to worry about her. She's fine. She pulls the blankets up around her then cozies up against Beca's side where it's warm. If anyone ever told her prior to this that she'd find herself in bed with Beca's arms around her, she'd have laughed them straight out of the building. "Goodnight, Beca."
"Night, Aubrey."
xxxxx
There's always something unsettling about being the only person awake now. Maybe it's the knowledge that if something were to happen, she would be the only one prepared. Or maybe it's the lack of distraction giving her the opportunity to ruminate on every possible way that she or anyone else in the house could be brutally attacked at any second. Or the nagging feeling that her body is going to shut down on her and no one is going to be awake to call an ambulance or, at the very least, not let her die alone. Ironically, the fear stemming from being awake makes it even more difficult to fall asleep.
There's also how, when she's alone, she can't help but wonder if she's making the right choice to just let things go when there is still so much she doesn't understand.
At least she still has Chloe to keep her company through videos.
It must be two hours of listening to Beca's heartbeat, feeling her chest rise and fall, before she gets up and grabs Chloe's laptop. Not wanting to wake her, she opens the closet door and clears a spot for herself on the floor. It's cramped, especially after she closes herself in, but the privacy while still only being a few feet away from someone is nice.
It occurs to her only after she's comfortable that she forgot earphones. Whatever. She just won't turn up the volume too high.
She opens the folder with her name and stares at the files, thinking. Is she really doing the right thing by trying to put the past behind her when what happened was such a life-altering event? Chloe deserves justice. They all do. And she deserves more answers. Keeping her folder open in the background, she opens an Incognito tab on Chrome. If someone was able to access the island for their sick obsession, who knows what all they were able to take photos of?
The gore site isn't difficult to find again. Not when everyone and their mother wants to satisfy their own morbid curiosity about how this could have happened. She reminds herself she's already seen the worst of it as she clicks the link to the page.
Instead of a the website she's expecting, a simple green page loads with white text: PARENTAL BLOCK - This Content Has Been Restricted For Your Safety. If you think this website was blocked by accident, you can request access. She clicks the 'Request Access' button and is taken to another, similar page that reads: Access Requested. There are no other options. Refreshing takes her back to the first page.
That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, okay, so maybe Chloe's parents care an awful lot, but enough to put parental blocks on her computer? Even they can accept that Chloe is a grown woman, capable of making her own choices. It has to be an error on the website's end – like she must be missing a button to confirm her age or something. If this was a real parental block, other adults websites would be blocked as well.
There's only one way to find that out.
Her fingers hover over the keyboard for a few seconds before she holds her breath and types in the only other adult website she knows: Pornhub.
Even if she wasn't Incognito, it's fine. It's probably not the first time that website has been utilized for something on Chloe's computer.
The first page loads just fine.
Fully invested in this investigation, she clicks on the video nearest to the mouse.
"Welcome to the one and only real sex game where you can create your own virtual fuck doll-"
The sounds that escapes Aubrey's throat is the human equivalent of a car slamming on the brakes and skidding across the asphalt. She slams the laptop closed before the ad can continue and stares straight ahead into the dark, mortified.
"Are – are you watching porn?" Beca breaks the silence, "Where even are you right now?"
Well. Like Aubrey suspected, it was definitely not a real parental block. She traces the edges of the laptop, waiting for Beca to determine this was just a dream and go back to sleep.
Instead, the closet door opens and Beca hovers over her.
Determined to handle the situation with dignity and grace, Aubrey stands up and brushes past her. "Whatever you think I was doing, you're wrong."
"I think you were watching porn in the closet," Beca whispers.
And, like Aubrey said, she's completely wrong.
"Am I not enough for you?" If the smirk on Beca's face doesn't disappear just as quickly as it got there, Aubrey is going to wipe it off for her.
"I don't think you want me to answer that." Aubrey calmly places the laptop on the nightstand and climbs back into bed.
Beca turns to face her with her feet still planted on the ground in front of the closet.
"Stand there all night, if you want, but I'm going to sleep." Aubrey pulls the blankets up around herself. When they wake in the morning, she can gaslight Beca into thinking this was all just a dream. "Goodnight."
"What kind of porn were you watching?"
"I just told you I wasn't. I think Chloe's computer has a virus or something. I was just trying to watch those videos she made."
"I didn't realize there was a sex tape section."
…to be honest, that doesn't actually sound all that unlikely. Aubrey bolts upright as Beca snatches the computer off the stand. "Hey! Give it back!"
Beca holds it out of her reach as she tries to untangle herself from the blankets and go after it with her one competent arm.
"You don't even know her password."
"Everybody knows Chloe's password." Beca climbs up onto the bed the second Aubrey is out of it. "I don't even know why she has a password." She climbs down on the other side, evading Aubrey. "The smart thing to do would have been to exit out of the screen. Dude, what the hell are you getting off to? Is his dick in a Big Mouth Billy Bass?"
Aubrey manages to corner her between the bed and the wall and tackle her back down onto the bed. Why does everything have to be so much more difficult with one hand? She straddles Beca mid-section, but only manages to wrestle one of her hands away with no way to grab the actual laptop.
"Aubrey, you're going to hurt yourself."
Beca is right. Aubrey doesn't have the strength for this yet. …desperate times call for Chloe measures. She stops trying to fight and goes for any and every place she can reach where Beca might possibly be ticklish. It turns out, Beca is ticklish almost everywhere and her laughter fuels Aubrey to keep going – even after the laptop falls into its side.
"I let it go!" Beca flails around until she manages to close the laptop. "I stopped! Aubrey, stop!"
There's a knock on the bedroom door. "Ladies."
Aubrey climbs off of Beca and sits down directly on the laptop as the door opens.
"There are people in this house who are trying to sleep," Julia reminds them, "Go to bed. Or fight quietly."
"This is definitely like I'm living at home again," Beca whispers, "I get what you're saying about space now."
Julia folds her arms and leans against the doorframe. "Quietly," she reiterates.
Aubrey slides the laptop out from underneath her and slips it beneath her pillow. "Do you have parental locks on Chloe's computer?" she dares to ask as Julia turns to leave.
"Clearly not if you're able to use it to watch your fish porn," Beca says, "So, is it about the fish itself or-"
Aubrey covers Beca's mouth with her hand. "There's a website I can't access, and it's not porn. I don't watch that."
"No. Chloe is an adult; she can look at whatever she wants. She pays her own internet bill. I don't care what either of you watch."
"I pay the entire internet bill…" Aubrey corrects her.
"Then feel free to add parental locks at your own discretion. Do you want me to look at her computer?"
"No," Aubrey replies while Beca mumbles 'yes' against her hand. She frowns and taps her mouth.
"Okay, well, call it night. Get some sleep. If you want, we can figure it out in the morning, okay? Goodnight, Girls. I love you."
"Both of us?" Beca asks.
"Yes." Julia closes the door behind her as she leaves.
"But me more," Aubrey reminds her.
"Yeah, I know," Beca replies, "Everyone knows." She fixes her pillows and lies back down. "If, uh, if you weren't trying to look at porn – what were you trying to look at?"
Maybe it isn't such a bad idea to let Beca think she was in the closet watching porn.
"Was it something violent, by chance? Like a website dedicated to looking at the bodies people who were brutally murdered?"
Beca knew Chloe's password. "You don't" – Aubrey lowers her voice – "You don't have the right."
"I do have the right." Beca sits up. "Because someone needs to stop you from pushing yourself too far if Chloe isn't here to do it. You don't need to be looking at that shit."
"I didn't realize you care so much about my well-being."
"Well, maybe I do." Beca exhales a deep breath. "Tell me the truth - were you waiting for the right moment to look at that without me?"
Aubrey looks down at her lap and shakes her head. "I wasn't even thinking about it until I went to open up Chloe's video files."
"Really?"
Yeah, Aubrey can see why that doesn't sound very believable coming from her. "It's not right. Justice should be served." No one else seems to be getting anywhere. She lays down on the back, the laptop hard under her pillow.
"Do you really think whatever you see on that website is going to change anything? You could find everything you're looking for, but what does it matter? This is it. This is life now. The only way we're getting justice is if they find Jesse – and that still doesn't bring anyone back. There's no way-" Beca groans. "You can't control this just by knowing everything about it."
"Knowledge is supposed to be the key to power," Aubrey whispers at the ceiling.
"And I'm supposed to be on my honeymoon in France."
"Paris?" Aubrey guesses, "The City of Love?"
"No, Aubrey. France, Idaho. City of potatoes."
"That sounds like the perfect place for you," Aubrey says.
"Because potatoes and I are the same size?" Beca guesses.
Aubrey looks at her and nods.
"How did I know. So does letting me change the subject mean you're not currently thinking about letting my vocals cords be ripped out by wolves?"
It's too exhausting to be furious anymore. She needs her energy to focus every ounce of rage her body can muster up at Jesse. "Nope. You?"
"If I thought you weren't going to try to look at it, I wouldn't have blocked it. You're predictable, Aubrey." Beca lays down next to her, their shoulders touching.
"Sun Bears," Aubrey says.
"Sun Bears?"
"That's what I'm imagining devouring your vocal cords. Sun bears."
"Why Sun Bears?"
"You didn't predict that being my second choice? I guess I could have said Polar Bears."
"Less degrading than a koala, at least."
Aubrey turns her head. "Koalas aren't bears. They're marsupials."
"Either way, the last thing I want amputating the cords of my vocal region-"
"Cords of your vocal region?" Who says it like that?
"-is a bear kangaroo."
"…bear kangaroo."
"Hey, Aubrey, what do you think the sun bear's going to say when I offer to sew up my own throat?"
"What?" Aubrey is more bewildered than she is eager to know the answer.
"Fine. Suture-self."
Aubrey rolls her eyes so hard, she can almost see her own brain. She should have seen that one coming. "Haha," she deadpans with the intention of wiping the smirk off Beca's face, "I'm in stitches."
"I never get sick of medical puns," Beca says.
"Hey, Beca, what do you call a doctor who's also a DJ?"
"What?"
"An ultrasound technician."
Beca claps her hand over her mouth, but her effort to minimize the sound fails when lack of space to laugh leads her to snort. The sound dissolves Aubrey into a fit of giggles.
"Girls!" It's Noah scolding them for all the noise this time.
The tone of is voice isn't particularly angry, but the volume is enough to get Aubrey's attention. She stops laughing immediately and fixes the blankets where they've uncovered part of the bed next to her.
"I don't think they're actually mad, Aubrey." Beca sniffles, wiping her eyes.
"No, I know." Still – best to not push them to the point where they are. "I know. But we should go to sleep now. We're keeping everyone awake. It's rude."
"I think we deserve some leeway. Roll over."
"What? Why?"
"You dropped something."
Aubrey didn't have anything to drop. She rolls over onto her side and peers down at the floor. "There's not-" It was a trick. Once her back is exposed, Beca slides a hand underneath her shirt and strokes the length of her spine with her fingers. "You don't have to do that."
"You can't sleep."
"Every time I close my eyes, I see something awful," Aubrey whispers.
"I can wake you up if it looks like you're dreaming," Beca offers.
Aubrey smiles a little. "Sometimes waking up is worse. At least if it's a dream…"
"It isn't real," Beca supplies.
"I can't believe I wake up and she's not here. She's always here. Sleeping next to me. Even if we're pissed at each other. And I know if I let her, she'd sleep til noon. So every morning, I come back from my jog and roll her lazy ass out of bed so she isn't late for work. We eat breakfast together and read The New York Times. She interrupts my crosswords with any comic that makes her laugh – which is basically all of them. She shows me the ones she doesn't think are funny sometimes too, because those are apparently the ones I'd probably understand."
"Is she wrong?"
"…no." Aubrey closes her eyes to lock in the burning sensation. "I miss her. Do you know how long it's been since we were apart and I had to sleep without her? Because I don't."
"How did you sleep before her?" Beca asks.
"I didn't. I remember how sometimes we would fall asleep listening to music together and I would wake up the next morning wondering what the hell happened. I just told myself it was because I finally accepted I didn't have to be prepared for someone to come storming in. But every night I was alone, I just kept trying to come up with some reasonable excuse to walk across the room and lay down next to her. Just wanting to be around her seems like a good enough reason now. I don't know how she knew I loved her. I never gave. I never took what was given to me. I left us with nothing."
"Is that really what you think? I can think you can give yourself a little more credit than just 'nothing'."
"You saw me."
"Back then, Chloe saw you," Beca says, "I see you now."
It's a scientific fact that being tired has the same effect on the body and mind as being drunk. So that would explain why she's spilling her heart to Beca Mitchell in the middle of the night. It's a really great, logical reason. It's all about the justification, right? She guesses there are some things that will never change – all the wrong things. "I'm just gonna think about you and Jessica and Ashley until I fall asleep," she changes the subjects.
"I mean, I guess that's better than being in the closet with your porn…"
"Ew. I'm not going to think about it like that." Aubrey sniffles and scrubs at her eyes.
"How is your stomach?" Beca asks.
"It was fine until you implied I wanted to have thoughts of sexual nature about you." It's kind of weird, actually, how fine it is when the rest of her feels so much like imploding. She rolls over onto her back, giving Beca time to move her hand. "It's fine. It feels…normal." Maybe not everything terrible has stayed the same. "How's your…being?"
"My being?"
It's not like any part of her is physically injured. Aubrey stands by her inquiry. "Mhm."
"I don't even know where to start…"
It's better than claiming she's completely fine. "That's fair," Aubrey whispers.
"If all this talking is a ploy to stay awake, it isn't going to work. So – roll back over before I roll you over."
Yeah right. "I'd like to see you try." Aubrey turns back over onto her side and tucks her arm beneath her head. She closes her eyes, telling herself that soon Chloe will wake up and all thoughts of mortality will slowly fade into the background again until they're old. No one is dying tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or the night after that. Or ever. Not ever. Maybe it's not such a bad thing to believe a few lies.
xxxxx
"Brian!"
Aubrey stirs, waking up for the second time after Beca reminded her they have 'wake up rules' now the first time.
"Brian!" Conrad screeches again.
"I see what you mean about the whole 'space' thing now," Beca mumbles into her pillow, "It better at least be eight o'clock."
"7:48," Aubrey says, squinting her eyes at the clock.
"Does no one see the enjoyment in sleeping in here?"
Aubrey shakes her head with a long, drawn out yawn and sits up.
"Buh-rian!"
"I'm about to start yelling his name if he doesn't get out there and see what Conrad wants." Beca sits up. "Love the hair thing you have going. Trying a new trend?"
Aubrey ruffles Beca's hair to match then runs her fingers through her own. "I'm going to go see what he wants."
Beca catches her by the arm. "It's not you. You're not even allowed to be awake yet. Go back to sleep for twelve minutes."
"It'd be eleven now." Aubrey pulls her arm away and crawls out of bed. Sound proof walls – that's what she wants in their new house. She opens the door and steps on a stick of glue.
"Do you see what he did?" Conrad asks, "He left the bathroom cabinet open. Brian! I'm not cleaning this up."
Scattered throughout the hallway are dozens of Elmer's glue sticks – along with a very guilty looking dog and a cat who clearly could not give a shit as it bats the sticks around.
Fuck.
"I left it open?" Brian opens the bedroom door then crosses his arms across his bare chest. " Why would I need a glue stick?"
"I don't know. Maybe you were putting together some files from work."
"With a stick of Elmer's glue?"
"If you were using them to remake your eyebrows, I might be forgiving," Conrad says, "They could use the work. They look like two caterpillars about to go to war on your forehead. My bet is on the right side - it's slightly bigger."
Brian brushes past him to close the cabinet door and examine his eyebrows in the mirror.
"Pick up my sticks, Brian."
"I didn't do that," Brian says, "Have you considered the cat might have opened it?"
Aubrey is about to own up to being the one who left it open when Brian blames the cat. "I'll help you clean them up." She should probably at least do that.
"That's very kind of you, Aubrey." Conrad shoots Brian a glare then kneels down with her to pick up the sticks. "I know it was Brian."
"It wasn't me!"
"I don't know. Chloe's cat is an asshole like that." It was definitely Catsy who knocked them all down for him and the dog to play with. She snatches one of the sticks away from the stupid cat. "I'm sure there's some cat lady around here who wouldn't mind adding you to her collection."
Catsy purrs and rubs up against her leg.
"I think you're repulsive," Aubrey makes herself clear.
"You thought I was repulsive when you first met me too," Beca says, coming out to join them, "Now look at us."
"She thought we were annoying," Conrad commiserates.
"I still do." Aubrey stands up. Rather than facing the mirror again, she shoves the glue sticks into Beca's hands. "Put those away. He's your cat too."
"Anything for you and our cat." Beca does a little curtsy.
"Where are my mom and dad?" If they were around, they'd definitely be in the hallway to see what all the ruckus was about.
"They went to the hospital to spend time with Chloe," Conrad says, "Your mom said to wake you up at 8 to force breakfast down your throat in a loving manner and tell you they'll go back to the hospital later and take you with them."
"So, what? The 'wake up rules' don't apply to them too?" Aubrey asks no one in particular.
"They probably weren't tired from being up all night watching porn," Beca answers.
"Aubrey." Conrad clutches his chest.
"I wasn't watching porn." Even food sounds more appealing than this conversation. She turns to head to the kitchen with them following her.
"What kind of porn?" Brian rejoins them.
"Big Mouth Billy Bass using a penis for bait."
"…sounds fishy," Brian says.
"Definitely not what I imagine Aubrey masturbating to," Conrad adds.
"I can show you the browser history," Beca offers.
"No, you can't, because it was incognito." Aubrey freezes as they all three stop and stare at her with raised eyebrows – Beca's the smug sort. She walked right into that one. "You know what, maybe I was watching that. What's it to you? Are you kink-shamers now?"
"That's not a kink," Brian says, "That's just weird."
Aubrey drops herself down onto a kitchen chair and tries to cross her arms but her stupid cast gets in the way.
"I'll pour the coffee," Brian offers. "I'm learning new stuff about Aubrey every day." He brings back two mugs and offers her one that's shaped like a penis.
Aubrey's expression turns forbidding.
"Wrong one," Brian says, "My mistake." He sets a plain blue mug on the table in front of her then locks eyes with her as he takes a long drink from the penis.
"This is just hot water," Aubrey says, turning her attention to her mug.
Brian plucks a teabag off the counter, peels off the paper, then drops it in her cup. "Would you like sugar? Maybe some milk or cream?"
Anything Aubrey says is liable to come back and bite her in the ass, so she just bounces her teabag up and down in the water.
"Eggs and toast." Conrad slides a plate in her direction.
"Thanks."
"Did we hurt your feelings?" Brian asks, too close to her ear.
"I'm going to hurt your feelings if you don't back up." Aubrey pushes him away. "I'm above your childish, dirty humor. One day, you all may reach that level of maturity too."
"Doubt it," they all three answer in unison.
"Well, if you want me to eat, you're going to need to find some more breakfast appropriate conversation."
"Yeah, yeah, shut up and eat your toast," Brian says, "What do you want to talk about?"
"You just told me to shut up," Aubrey reminds him, "Now you want my input? Fine. How's work?"
"It's Sunday," Brian points out.
"So?"
"New house rule – Aubrey doesn't get to decide the conversation topic anymore. Does anyone else have anything they'd like to talk about?"
Whatever. Law isn't all that interesting right now anyway. In fact, it's not all that interesting at all. Aubrey takes a bite of toast. The more she thinks about it, the more she can barely stand it. Is she good at it? Sure. And the thought of standing in a courtroom, winning some important case makes her feel almost euphoric. But all the work and the long hours – are they really worth everything she's missing? "I've decided I'm not going back."
"To work?"
"Mhm."
That gets all their attention. "I think I was following my father's idea of what my purpose should be. I think I want to find my own. Maybe there's another job out that I'm good at, but also that I like and that gives me more time for more important things – like family."
The front door opens and Julia and Noah walk in with smiles on their faces.
"Your father got lost on his way home from the hospital," Julia says.
"I meant to take that exit. It looked like an intriguing scenic route."
"But that's okay," she continues while removing her coat, "Because we found something to do today. How about a big family outing to a pumpkin patch? It's a small way to get everyone some fresh air."
"We can get pumpkins to display outside the café!" Conrad exclaims, "We can all carve one! I bet there's a hayride, guys!"
"I get hay fever," Beca lies, "I'm also allergic to pumpkin carving and leaving the house while there's a serial killer on the loose."
That last one kind of does put a downer on things…
"Oh, we talked to the cop out front," Julia assures her, "He'll be coming too."
"I'm down," Brian says.
"I'm think I'm good here," Beca replies.
"Come on, Beca," Aubrey pleads with her, "We're not any safer in here than we are out there. It's a family outing…"
Beca looks around at all of their intent stares then closes her eyes. "Fine!"
Conrad screeches and pulls her into a bone crushing hug.
"Look at that," Brian says, "All your dreams are coming true."
…almost. It doesn't quite feel like the perfect family without Chloe. But maybe it's moving in the right direction.
xxxxx
The second breakfast is over, Aubrey makes sure to delete any and all traces of porn from Chloe's computer before going anywhere – which really just means exiting out of the browser. But she rechecks to make sure it's completely gone and nowhere in the history several times. Enough times that Beca starts to laugh at her and takes the laptop away.
"Dude, it's gone, Aubrey."
She takes it back and hides it in the same location as her phone. She only means to check the phone for the time before she buries it deep into the closet – but she has one new message.
Howie: Hey, it's Howie. You wanna meet up? Relieve some 'stress'?
Aubrey: I can't. I'm going to some pumpkin patch thing.
Howie: Later? Tonight?
"Are you trying to make some sort of statement with the closet now?" Beca asks, "Because your engaged to a woman, have had sex with me multiple times, and live in a house with two gay men. I'm surprised closets even dare to exist in this house right now. Oh my god, are you a closeted straight?"
Aubrey turns in the direction of her voice. If she only knew what Aubrey was doing as she asked that… She looks down at her phone, considering the offer. No. It's wrong. It always was.
Aubrey: Sorry. I don't think I can.