x
Dysrhythmia
All those nights I stayed away,
Thinking of all the ways to make you mine;
All of those smiles will never fade,
Never run out of ways to blow my mind.
Every time I see your face,
My heart takes off on a high speed chase.
Now don't be scared, it's only love,
That we're falling in.
I would never do you wrong,
Or let you down or lead you on.
Don't look down, it's only love,
Baby, that we're falling in.
Don't be scared, it's only love,
Baby, that we're falling in.
- Lifehouse
Noah
The way Aubrey asks why they're going to Brooklyn would have had Noah believing it was a several hour drive if he hadn't already mapped it out beforehand. People are going to think he's trying to kidnap her if she keeps looking at him like that for too long. He opens the passenger side of the truck then lets her get in and shut the door on her own to save face in his own mind. "You go to Brooklyn a lot?" he asks once he's inside and starting the truck.
Aubrey nods then follows up her answer with a verbal, "Yes." The 'Sir' is silent, but he knows it's there.
"How come?"
"Pizza. Chloe likes the pizza."
Chloe – but not her? He isn't sure whether or not he believes that. "Your mother and I have never had authentic New York City pizza. You ever had Chicago pizza?" He looks at her for an answer, but she's distracted by their surroundings as he backs out onto the road – looking up and down street, like she's waiting for someone to jump out of the bushes and attack. She's always been a little neurotic, but this is all-encompassing fear. He wants to wrap his arm around her, but the risk of startling her or causing her discomfort is too high. Instead, he nudges her with his elbow.
"Do you think the cop out front is going to follow us or stay?" Aubrey asks.
Honestly, half the time, he doubts anyone is even in that car. Their safety hasn't exactly been made a top priority. It has him questioning if he should take matters into his own hand and buy a handgun sometimes. Not even his gun-cautious wife could put up a good argument at this point. Unfortunately, until he has a reason other than 'because it's cool', she's probably still against a Bazooka. "I don't know," he admits, "We'll be fine. So will your mom and Beca."
Aubrey picks at the skin around her fingernails, seemingly oblivious to the dried blood already lining her nailbeds.
He sighs and reaches over, placing his hand on top of hers. "Everybody is going to be fine."
"You don't know that." She pulls her hand out from under his then tucks it between their legs where it's out of reach. "We could die right now. Someone could ram their car into us and-" She takes a deep breath in through her nose then exhales it slowly through her mouth.
"-and I'll do the 'mom arm' thing." Noah puts his arm out in front of her. It usually cracks him up when Julia does it, because, really, how much is putting an arm in front of them during a crash really going to accomplish? It's still worth a try with Aubrey. "I've got you." He grabs her hand again when she reaches up to start picking at the skin on her lips. "Aubrey, I've got you. Nothing bad is going to happen, because I'm not going to let it. I will keep you and your mom and your friends safe. Maybe I couldn't keep Chloe safe because I didn't know what you guys were going through – but I do now and I'm here. I'm not taking you anywhere unsafe and I know your mom well enough to know that she and Beca will be just fine without us. Okay? Look, I've been shot before." Technically, he shot himself accidentally, but it sounds dumb when he admits it like that. "I was left alone to bleed while I watched another guy bleed out right next to me; I know what it feels like after having a close encounter with death. It's scary. But right here, right now, I'm gonna make sure you're okay."
xxxxx
July 1986
"Come on, Man, you don't gotta do this!"
A group of people stood in the alleyway that led up to Noah's house. It was four against one – but only one of them was armed. The man with the gun had it pointed at a kid, maybe sixteen or seventeen, who Noah had seen before running around with some other men. Gangs weren't uncommon in his part of the city – but it wasn't everyday they stood outside his own front door either.
"Where are your friends now? They on their way here?" the man with the gun asked.
Noah watched from behind the neighbors' shed, trying to keep quiet. He had gone to the gas station for a soda and some snacks, and the bag that held them wanted to crinkle every time he so much as breathed. He could go back to the gas station. His mother wasn't home, so he didn't have to worry about her – and there was a payphone there to call for help. But then he'd spend weeks wondering if these people somehow knew it was him who had called. If he was lucky, the gun was a bluff and they'd move on once they intimidated the kid enough.
"They're not my friends, Man. I stopped hangin' with them weeks ago. I wasn't part of this."
"So they won't care if I shoot you?"
"No."
"You hear that?" the guy asked his friends, "No one's gonna care if we shoot this kid. Probably ain't even his mom gonna give a shit." He took the gun off safety.
It was too late to call for help at that point. If he put the bag down quietly enough to not be noticed, it was possible he was at the right angle to get to the gun before the other three guys had time to ambush him. He laid the back in the grass and took a breath, praying to God that this was a bluff and the guy was going to lower his gun. If God heard, He had other plans.
The guy aimed, and Noah dashed around the front of shed and threw his entire body against him. The gun went off, shot a hole straight through his bedroom window, then clattered on the ground. They both went after it. Gravel dug into his skin as the wrestled. Fortunately for him, the others stood back and let it be a fair fight. He wrapped his fingers around the metal handle, but the guy held down his arm so he couldn't point to shoot.
And then the fight just stopped.
The fingers around his wrist loosened.
And the guy collapsed beside him.
Noah looked up.
The kid he had been protecting stood above them with a bloody pocket knife in his hand.
"Oh, shit." The three remainder guys took off running without so much as even glancing back – although one of them yelled, "You're both dead!" back at them.
Blood pooled on the ground around him, oozing out of the man's neck while he made gurgling noises and struggled to breath. Noah scrambled upright, gun still in hand. "Hey, we're gonna get you help." He grabbed the rusty gutter to pull himself up, but the thin sheets of metal gave way. His finger tightened over the trigger as he fell and fire exploded through his leg.
The kid stared at him, terrified, then threw the knife on the ground and ran.
xxxxx
Noah can't say he had an awful childhood growing up. Sure, he had an absent father and a 'cast ye all to Hell who those who disagree with me' mother – but his mother loved him. Her church friends all loved him. He got good grades in school. Never missed a single Boy Scouts meeting. And lived an overall average life of a loner who preferred animals over people. He grew up fine. He married the love of his life. He became a good father to kids he adored. He was fine. And then Aubrey came along and showed him that when it came to human connection, really, he had just gotten lucky. He never had to make an effort.
Julia is the very definition of affection. She loves every single thing about love in all of its forms and expresses it with very little restraint. She touches everyone she talks to, holds hands with her friends, hugs people she's only just met, and is generally quite clear about her own needs. Chloe is a baby chimpanzee. Too cute for her own good, and difficult to pry off from one's back. Personal boundaries are seen as 'suggestions'. And, like her mother, she's capable of loving everyone she comes into contact with and making sure they know it right off the bat. Daniel is, well, he's Daniel. He doesn't want a bond.
Aubrey wants a bond – he can see it clear as day. But now that he is the one who has to put in the effort, he realizes he doesn't know how. He has grown a lot over the years of knowing her, however. He's learned to be more in tune and stop waiting until people are in his face demanding to be loved. One day, he'll tell her how she made him a better father and a better husband – maybe even a better person in general. He already has a speech prepared for her wedding – has since he was sure Chloe would propose to her one day – letting her know why she's the perfect addition to their family. He was right to trust his wife years ago when she claimed to have fallen in love with her the same way she had fallen in love with Chloe and Daniel, because years later, when he finally got to meet her, he fell in love the exact same way.
And, yeah, of course he wants to punch her father in the face – but his heart isn't quite as pure as Julia's. If a genie told him he had the option to take away his kids' suffering with their biological families and give them beautiful lives but the catch was they'd never be his kids – he'd stuff that genie back into its bottle and never tell a soul about it. These are his kids and he'll do well by them to fix what everyone else broke.
He lifts the center console that doubles as an arm rest, ridding them of the physical barrier between them. "Do you want to move over?" Maybe he needs to reword it. "I want you to move over." Taking advantage of her weakened resolve in order to comfort her hits him with a pang of guilt. It makes him feel like he's exploiting a weakness. "Come on." He releases her hand and reaches over to unbuckle her then takes her by the elbow to give her a small pull in his direction.
She's tired; he can tell just by the way she slides across the seat. It seems to take way more effort than one simple movement should and she doesn't sit up perfectly straight once she's in the middle seat.
"Alright." Noah lifts his arm over the back of the seat then lowers it around her shoulders, mindful of her injury. "That's better, right?"
Aubrey doesn't say anything. She's staring off at the floor, somewhere else in her brain.
"Aubrey."
Aubrey licks her lips then draws them between her teeth as she screws her eyes shut. Her effort to slide back to her original seat is thwarted by his arm around her and she ends up just sitting sideways in the middle, facing away from him. From there, she tucks her face against the upholstery.
"Yeah, I know, Sweetheart," Noah sighs, "I know. Felt like fire when it happened to me. But it's never going to happen to you again, alright? I'll take a bullet for you, if I have to."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because that's what a dad does. Because I love you." Has he ever told her that before? He's sure he has. But the fact that he can't remember a specific time rubs him the wrong way. "I love you. I think Mom and I failed you."
Aubrey turns around, wiping her face, pulling herself back together again. She shakes her head.
"No, we did." He's sure of it. "You should have been able to call us before any of this ever happened – regardless of Chloe, regardless of whether anyone else believe you. And that's on us. That you didn't feel like you could tell us what was going on or that it didn't even cross your mind that you could means we should have done better. The second Mom called to check on you, you should have known you could tell us things weren't okay – that you weren't okay. We should have done better to let you know we're always here for you. I'm sorry. I'm gonna do better for you."
"You do just fine."
"That's the problem. Just fine isn't good enough. It's not good enough. You deserve better than a 'just fine' dad, and I can do better than that. I love you too much to do just fine. Hold on, I have just the song for this." And here his wife and Chloe told him his playlists were 'odd and inappropriate' and 'really annoying, Dad'. They've come in handy twice now – once with Beca and now… He temporarily moves his arm out from around Aubrey to open his 'Chloe, Break It Off With Him' list then fast forwards to the chorus of the first song. Time to bust out his best moves – while still holding the wheel and looking at the road, of course.
"I'd catch a grenade for ya!
Throw my hand on a blade for ya!
I'd jump in front of a train for ya!
You know I'd do anything for ya!
I would go through all this pain!
Take bullet straight through my braaaain!
Yes, I would die for ya, Baby!"
The music turns off and Aubrey lowers her hand from the Bluetooth button on the radio – looking absolutely mortified.
So maybe he isn't the best dad, he's still sure he can take credit for Most Embarrassing. "Thought you liked Bruno Mars."
"I do – when he's the only one singing."
"You saying I'm a bad singer?" Noah catches her off-guard, somewhere between trying to please him and being unwilling to lie about something important to her.
"You know, I used to listen to that song wondering why people were throwing grenades and knives at that girl and trying to shoot her and hit her with a train," Aubrey changes the subject, "It makes sense now."
Noah doesn't mean to laugh. It isn't funny, but the way she says things gets him all the time. No one else can say the most serious things in an equally serious tone and it makes him want to laugh. "Ah, Aubrey." He wraps his arm back around her and kisses the side of her head. "You're such a good kid. I wish you'd've grown up in our home. I'd've spent every day with you."
"That would've been nice."
xxxxx
February 1987
"What do you mean you met a girl?" his mother asked, not looking up from unpacking her 'good china' from the moving box, "We just moved here. What about Jenny – from church?"
"Ma, Jenny is back in Chicago."
"So? Ask her to move here."
"I don't even like Jenny. You like Jenny."
"She's pretty," his mother said, "And her father's got a good job. And she likes you."
The way she said it sounded like he should consider himself lucky anyone liked him. He knew she didn't mean it that way, but it didn't instill a whole lot of confidence. "Ma. I really like this girl. I'm meeting her for a third date."
His mother looked up. "A third date. We've been here two weeks. You didn't tell me about the first and second dates? How did you meet her?"
He had wanted to make sure she liked him before bringing it up. Honestly – he was still trying to wrap his mind over a woman so beautiful actually existing and then he had to process that she had said yes to going out with him. This was the type of girl who could have had anyone – man or woman – in the world. "I met her out on the town."
"So she's a hooker."
Noah was so shocked, he laughed. "She is the furthest thing from that. She was out because it was her birthday. And I was out too. Do you think I'm a hooker?"
"I think you're a good boy going down the wrong path with the wrong people lately."
"For the last time, I'm not in a gang."
"So it was just random you were shot by one right outside our house."
"I shot myself, and yes. Look – I'd really like you to meet her. Just give her a chance."
"No." His mother shook her head. "No, I don't want to meet her. And I don't want you to see her either. No son of mine is dating a hussy he met at a bar. You'll find the right girl in church."
"I love you, but I'm an adult. And I like this girl. A lot." Noah kissed his mother on the cheek. "I'll see you later, Ma."
xxxxx
Julia made him nervous. The best kind of nervous, but nervous none-the-less. Approaching her was like approaching the tallest hill on a rollercoaster and spending time with her was the thrilling drop down. Once the ride was over, he found himself wanting to go again and again. He didn't know if that was a normal way to feel – and, if it wasn't, he didn't care. She was a drug – being around her dulled all his senses when they were apart and made him come back for the more heightened experience. He would keep on feeling that way unless she asked him to stop. Only, the grin that spread across her face the very second she saw him had him thinking she might be feeling the same.
He walked up the boardwalk toward her, the most stupid of smiles on his face. "Hey."
"Hi." She hugged him the moment the he was close enough to reach – grabbing him gently by the sleeves, pulling him in until he was in the right position for her to put her arms around him. When she pulled back, she fixed his shirt where it had wrinkled. "How are you?"
He was amazing. "I'm alright. You?"
"I'm good. Especially good now." She smiled even wider at him. "Do you want to get coffee and then go down on the beach?"
"Yeah." Never was he a touchy-feely sort of guy, but he had to stop himself from putting his hand on her back or reaching for her hand when she turned around to walk. He imagined he looked pretty dumb holding his own hand, walking beside her, but it was the best way to keep himself in check. He didn't even know what number date was right for that kind of thing. She wasn't the first person he dated, but she was the first he really liked. He thought he had liked the others, but he was just now learning how wrong he'd been. "Been up to anything?"
"School. Work. The usual." Julia shrugged. "What about you? Did you hear back from the schools here about finishing your degree yet? Which one are you going to choose?"
His mother couldn't believe someone could fall for him and here she was assuming he was going to hear back from all the schools he applied to. "All but one."
"Well, that one doesn't deserve you. Congratulations."
Noah gave a hearty laugh. "I didn't read the part about them being an 'all girls' school," he admitted, "I think they're overlooking how smashing I'd look in a dress though."
"I don't how I feel about you in a dress," Julia said, "You already upstage me on the sweater and t-shirt front. Don't take dresses away from me too. I won't have anything left."
Well, he was sure it would be impossible to upstage her on that front. The thought made his face hot. "I chose Beacon over in Leesburg. I was thinking I could commute."
"That's like two hours from here."
"I don't have many classes left. It's mostly field work."
"Is it wrong to be happy you're not going anywhere?" Julia asked.
Noah cracked another smile. Maybe his mother never wanting to let him out of her sight wasn't always a bad thing; but he can't say he chose the closest school just for her. His smile faltered. "I, uh, I wanted to tell you something."
"Okay."
"I still live with my mom. I don't know what date is acceptable to mention that. I don't plan to live with her forever." He needed to make that much clear. Sure, he wanted to be close, but he wasn't going to be that guy living with her forever. "I cook. I do my own laundry. As soon as I get my degree, I'm out."
"So do I get to meet her at some point?"
He had been dreading that question. "That's sorta a thing. You're not exactly the Methodist Church girl she was able to pick out herself for an arranged marriage – although, I'm sure if it were really up to her, I'd skip school and marriage and be off joining the monastery."
"Is that, um, a problem going forward," – the disappointment in her tone was palpable, but she quickly turned it around – "or are we gonna elope? Just so you know, I think the latter sounds pretty exciting."
"Wow, we're contemplating marriage already?"
She gave him a shove. "You know what I meant."
"I like you," Noah admitted, "I really like you."
"Is there a but?"
"No."
"Good, because I like you, too. A lot." She bumped their shoulders together and stopped at the back of the line for a coffee cart. "I live on my own. But I'm sure my parents will want to meet you as soon as I tell them about you. I'm trying to avoid the interrogation until they figure it out on their own. Shouldn't take them long."
"So you're upstaging me on the adult front then."
"I guess I am. I don't currently do my own laundry, by the way. It's a long way to the laundry mat and my mom insists. Who am I to argue?"
"Should I be worried about meeting your parents?" Noah asked, "I can wear a baseball helmet if your dad has a bat."
Julia shook his head. "I'd be more worried about meeting my sisters. And you already went through the friend interrogation. What about your dad?"
"Don't got one."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Every story I ever heard about the man was a horror story. The only thing worse than a deadbeat dad is one who can't control his temper. I'm sure this is like a date five conversation at minimum. What's up with your sisters?"
"They just like going out of their way to make me feel awful about myself," Julia admitted, "I'm sure they'd go out of their way to try to ruin whatever this is."
"They must have to go far. I'm surprised they ever find their way back." Everybody had flaws. He was sure there were some things about her that would drive him mad once he encountered them. He was more sure, however, that nothing about her even remotely resembled awful. Everything he saw so far was downright beautiful.
"Do you have brothers and sisters?"
"Nah."
"I'm the baby out of three. It sucks." Julia laughed. "They have dirt on me from the moment I was born."
"Now you're making me want to stop adding 'little brother' on my wish list to Santa every year."
Her laugh made even the people standing in front of them smile. "I don't have any experience with brothers, so, they could be better than sisters. Don't give up."
They stepped up to the line and Noah pulled out his wallet. "Get whatever you want. It's on me."
"Noah, it's okay, I can pay for myself."
"Hey, you have rent to pay," Noah reminded her, "Let the freeloading Mama's boy pay for the coffee."
"He sounds like he has a point," the barista said.
Julia sighed. "Okay, okay – a medium coffee with cream and sugar, please."
"You sure you don't wanna upgrade to a large?" Noah asked. He watched her look down at her feet and consider it. "Let's make it a large. Also a large hot chocolate, fifty percent whipped cream."
"Oh gosh. That's a lot whipped cream." Julia looked at the barista. "Can I get my coffee fifty percent whipped cream?"
"How about I give you one hundred percent of your drinks and a large cup of whipped cream on the house?" the barista suggested.
"Perfect," Noah agreed.
They carried their drinks off the boardwalk and down onto the beach where they found a spot to sit in the sand. The cool February clouds provided the best beach weather, in his opinion. He twisted the cup of whipped cream into the sand between them so it wouldn't fall over then took off his shoes and dug his toes into the sand.
"Spoon?" Julia offered him one of the two.
"Don't mind if I do." Noah took the spoon from her hand and twirled it between his fingers, giving her the chance to take the first bite.
"This is amazing. I vote more whipped cream for lunch – preferably with brownies underneath. Ooh, or there's a good apple dumpling stand just up the boardwalk from here. What?"
Noah blinked. Shit, he was staring.
"There are also places with real lunch foods. Or did you have to go before that?"
"Oh no, I'm staying." He was definitely staying. Definitely staying. "What if we put the apple dumplings on top of the brownies and smothered them both with whipped cream?"
"Now you're speaking my language." Julia examined her spoon – first the front side and then the back. "You're still staring at me."
Damn it. "I'm sorry."
She stopped looking at her spoon and looked his direction with a roguish smile. Before he could figure out a way to defend himself, she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss against his lips. After she pulled back, she casually patted his shirt. "Don't worry about it."
xxxxx
"What is this place?" Aubrey asks.
Noah parks in a mostly empty parking lot and leans back in his seat. The building is even bigger than he thought it was going to be. From the outside, it looks like an abandoned factory. They must be working on the outside last. "It looks better on the inside." Or so he hopes. "We've had this place under construction for nearly three years and now it's almost done. Funny how things work out that way."
"We?"
"Business partners." He gets out of the truck and hurries around to open her door for her before she can beat him to it. "You're gonna love it."
Aubrey steps down and wraps her arm around herself.
"You know a lot about running a business?" Noah asks.
"Somewhat."
"How about a non-profit organization?" Her silence is all the answer he needs. He knocks on the front door with his knuckles. "I'd say you have about ten or twenty years to learn before I retire." He's been thinking about this for awhile. Been talking it over with Chloe. He wanted it to be both of them, but she was adamant that she wanted nothing to do with his creatures. They're too 'bald'. Maybe he should have made sure Aubrey even knew what he did for a living first, but… "The gators, the sharks, the crocs…they'll all be yours, if you want them. The whole shebang."
"What?"
"We'll talk about it later."
Ben, his partner out of New York and New Jersey, lets them in. "Noah! Great to see you again, Man."
"You too! This is my daughter – Aubrey."
"Good to meet you, Aubrey." Ben shakes her hand.
"It's looking good," Noah compliments him as Aubrey wanders off toward a giant tank of jellyfish that covers the entire side wall, "Is that how we're leaving the front?"
Ben laughs. "The signage is all here. Just had a minor problem with the painting company. They'll be here tomorrow to start. I'd say we'll be ready to open in two or three weeks. I'm waiting for an interviewee for one of the photographers, but everything is up and running. Look around. I hope I did you proud."
"I can tell you did already." Noah fist bumps him then meanders his way across the room toward Aubrey. He pulls out is camera and snaps a photo of her from behind for the family albums before asking, "Know what those are?"
"Moon Jellies," Aubrey answers, "What do mean it's all mine?"
"Did you know in 1991, NASA sent a bunch of these guys into space as a gravity experiment? I put these right here in the front for Chloe."
"She's going to love them. Why isn't she getting all this?"
"Being part of a family business was never in her dream boards. She hates fish. Always has. If it doesn't have fur, she doesn't want it. She's like her mom that way. You, on the other hand, you're like me. Think about it. Like I said, I'm not planning to retire any time soon. But I wanna know it's gonna go to someone capable when I do. Can't think of anyone better than you."
"Thank you, S-" She cuts herself off before the full word comes out. "Thank you."
"Alright. Ready to do things that your mom would disapprove of?"
Aubrey nods.
"Good. Come on."
xxxxx
July 1987
Noah wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He knew he liked her from the moment he saw her. He didn't quite know that five months later he would be absolutely sure he was in love. The question was – should he tell her that he was in love? Was it too soon? There wasn't exactly a rule book for this sort of thing. If he said it too soon, he risked taking her off-guard and coming across as too much. Too late, she might think he didn't and move on to someone who was more clear that they did love her. Did she even want him to love her? He was over thinking this. And he wasn't pay any attention to the movie they were watching.
"What did you think?" Julia rolled over onto her back. She was lying on the couch, her legs draped over his lap.
"What?"
"The movie." She propped herself up onto her elbows. "What did you think?"
"It was great. I thought – I thought it was great."
She lowered herself back down and stared at him with what he had dubbed her 'x-ray vision into the soul'.
"See anything in there?" he joked.
"Are you bored of me?"
The question was so opposite of how he really felt that it took him a second to even process that she was serious. "Bored of you?"
"The past week you've been…" Her voice trailed off and she studied her own fingers as she twisted them around each other.
Distracted. He was distracted. He was so distracted. "Jules…"
Julia sat up and pulled her legs into sit crisscross rather than over him. She pressed her thumb into her palm and chewed on her lower lip. "If you are, you should say it."
Noah reached out and touched her face, letting his thumb slide along her cheek. "I'm not bored. I'm trying to figure out how to tell you I want to spend every waking moment with you without sounding like a creep."
She looked at him.
"I love you. Look, I know it's only been five months, but-"
"I love you, too." She reached up and placed her hand over his. "A lot, actually. I didn't want to tell you and have it scare you off."
Oh. Well then.
"I guess I should have gone the brutal honesty route." She exhales a laugh "What were you saying? It's been five months, but… Go the brutal honesty route."
"I think about marrying you all the time." Saying it out was more terrifying than words should be. "What do you think about that?"
"I think…I'll be eagerly expecting a ring."
"God, I can't believe you thought I was bored with you…"
"Well," Julia said, "You kind of have a resting bored face to begin with."
"Didn't realize we were still taking the brutal honesty route. In that case," – Noah put on the most animated happy face he could conjure up – "I'll make sure to never let it rest around you again. I'm going to propose with this face."
Julia fell back down on her back, laughing. She turned and buried her face in the cushions where she could no longer see him. "If you propose to me with that face, I'm going to say no."
"Look at me." Noah tried to roll her back over, succeeding in making her laugh harder. "Look at how happy I am."
"Stop it! No!"
"Alright! Alright! I'll put my normal, bland face back on. My boring, nothing of a face."
"That's not what I said." She rolled into her back, grinning and wiping away tears of laughter.
Noah smiled at her. A real smile. "I will never get bored of you." He gave the moment a second to last then twisted up his face again, sending her into another fit of hysterics. "You'll wish you were bored of me."
xxxxx
Noah thinks hard and is careful about what they do. He wants to give her an experience without triggering a trauma – which isn't easy when he doesn't know exactly what she went through. So when he takes her up to feed the sharks, he makes sure the fish have been flayed, free of blood, and looking nothing like something dead. They look like normal supermarket fish in the freezer aisle. If he'd had the time, he would have even breaded them for her. "Look at that."
They have one hammerhead so far. She'd been fished out of the ocean after a rough encounter with a boat that took a chunk out of her right fin.
"They're all rescues, you know. Every gator, lizard, fish… I bother the ones in the wild, but I always release them." He pulls a piece of fish out of the bucket and offers it over to Aubrey. "Do the honors."
Aubrey takes it and tosses it in the water.
The shark rushes to the surface and the fish is gone within moments. Noah reaches down and strokes the end of the tail while the teeth are distracted. "You want to pet her?" He pulls several strips of fish out of the bucket and tosses them in. Yeah, Julia would kill him if she found out they were touching a shark – while it was eating none-the-less. The likelihood of his hand being ripped off is pretty high. The thrill, however, is worth it.
Aubrey leans over and strokes its tail.
"You know why we have this little platform so close to the water?" Noah asks. He waits until she looks at him before he answers. "Scuba diving. Professionals who work here, of course. But if you ever want to try, I know the owner." He winks.
The look on her face lets him know she's highly considering it. "So you're right out there? Not even in a cage…"
"Oh yeah."
Her smile falters a little. "What are the chances of being attacked?"
"They'll get acclimated to people," Noah says, "Sharks actually love to be pet, just like a dog. Here's a fun fact, no one has ever been killed by a hammerhead shark. Ever. And if a hammerhead is too much, we've got other far more docile sharks here. You don't have to do anything that doesn't sound fun to you. I'm just saying, if you want to…I Noah guy."
Aubrey looks at him then climbs the platform and walks away.
"Come on!" Noah calls after her. "That's my very best joke!"
xxxxx
September 1996
"Alright. Someone has to ride this boat with me. Anyone."
Julia, Chloe, and Daniel all stood on the front porch, staring at him and Julia's father with ever increasing frowns.
"Come on, Jules," her father encouraged her, "You haven't been on a boat since you were, what, ten?"
"Eleven. And it's seared in my brain as a really awful memory. Never again."
"Did you fall in?" Chloe asked.
"No. I didn't fall in."
"Did you puke?"
"Chloe…"
"Did you-"
Julia placed a hand over her mouth. "The answer is no. It's always going to be no." She pulled her hand back with a laugh when Chloe licked it. "Ew, you weirdo." She wiped the spit onto Chloe's shirt.
"Were you saying the answer is always going to be no to me or Daddy?" Chloe inquired.
"Both."
"Come on, Son." Noah attempted his best enthusiastic look at Daniel. "This is generational bonding."
"I'd rather fall in the water and be killed by a gator."
"…Chloe?"
"Mm mm." Chloe shook her head in slow motion. "Are you crazy? Also, Momma needs me to help her relax."
"To help me relax?" Julia's brows shot up.
"Yesterday, you said when I'm around, you can't get anything done."
"You have no idea how much I love you." Julia pulled her into a hug that turned into a slight wrestling match as Chloe giggled and tried to escape.
Alright, so he wasn't going to have any luck convincing the girls. That still left Daniel as a maybe. "I can't let a gator kill you. But I'll let you touch one."
"Noah!" Julia stopped battling Chloe.
Noah was certain it wasn't his offer but rather Julia's adamant disapproval that fueled Daniel to go.
"Fine. Whatever."
"Yes!" Noah held his hand up for a high-five, which was looked at and then blatantly ignored. He high-fived himself and then his father-in-law instead.
"Daddy!" Chloe yelled after him when he turned to leave. "You're forgetting something!" She puckered her lips then pointed to both herself and Julia. "What would you do without me?"
"Sleep through the entire night without getting kicked in the face at three in the morning." Noah picked her up and balanced her on his hip. He pecked her lips then turned and pecked Julia's as well, then went back and forth between them as fast as he could.
"Gosh, you're getting so big," Julia said when Noah handed Chloe off to her. She kissed the tip of Chloe's nose then turned to Noah. "Be safe. No gators."
"No promises." Noah kissed her one more time. "Those gators are my backup wives."
"Are you going to have half-gator babies?" Chloe asked.
"Yes," Noah answered at the same time Julia said, "No."
"Bye, Danny! Have fun!" Julia called, "I love you!"
Daniel slammed the truck door.
"I love you and you," Noah said.
The dog barked.
"Not you, you know what you did."
"Well, if you picked up your clothes…" Julia reprimanded him instead of the dog that devoured them.
"Gotta go." Noah kissed them both one more time then headed for the car.
"Wanna go roll around on the waterbed?" Julia asked Chloe.
"Yes!"
Noah turned to walk backward. "How is that any different than being on the boat?!"
xxxxx
"Hey! Aubrey! Look at this!" Noah bounds over to the touch tank with Aubrey directly behind him. "Look at this guy." He runs two of his fingers up and down the arm of the largest starfish he has ever seen.
"Oh, look at him!" Aubrey places her hand on the ledge and leans over to get a better look at one of the manta rays flapping up against the side of the tank. She lets go of the edge to touch it and it swims away, splashing a decent amount of water onto the front of Noah's shirt.
Crisis mode sets in and before she can react negatively, Noah scoops up a poor horseshoe crab that was just trying to live its life in peace. "Horseshoe crabs aren't really crabs. They're more closely related to…?"
"Arachnids."
Noah lowers the crab back into the water then lifts his hand for a high-five while pretending to cry. "Finally. Someone gets me. Don't leave me hanging."
Aubrey high-fives him then goes for the manta-ray again as it swims back the other way. It's splashes her this time.
"He's kind of a jerk, isn't he? I bet he's hangry. Now these guys, when they eat, it's like they're vacuuming the food out of your hand." Noah gets some of their food so she can try feeding these as well. "Just hold your hand out flat and he'll swim right over it. You ever been to an aquarium before?"
"Mhm." Aubrey nods, more focused on what she's doing.
"You get to do anything like this."
She pauses for a moment then shakes her head.
Of course not. The only thing fun he knows she did growing up was a ride at Disney that his wife took her on. "Well, we can all kinds of this stuff all the time now."
"You know what I always wanted to do ever since I was little?"
"Tell me."
"Go to one of those butterfly houses. You know, where it's like a big dome and they fly all around you?"
"Aubrey, I will build you a butterfly house." He knows the look she gives him. It's the same one Chloe gives him before she accuses him of being crazy. "We still have empty space here. I will build you a butterfly house." He holds up one finger then pulls out his phone and shoots Ben a text about it. "You can count on me."
xxxxx
October 1998
It was two hours after Julia left for work that she came back, and he knew something wasn't right. Usually, she was fairly good about balancing home and work – but on the off occasion that she wasn't, she came home late. Always late. Never early. So when he heard the front door open and close and her keys hit the side table, he immediately dropped what he was doing in the kitchen and went to see what was going on.
Whatever had happened, it wasn't anything good. She didn't move from the doorway after putting down her keys – instead, she was just standing there with one hand covering her face, sobbing.
"Jules, hey." Noah brushed her hair away from her face then lowered his hands to her shoulders. "Hey. What happened?"
"I'm on unpaid leave." The big 'why' question had to be put on hold, because as soon as she said it, she could barely breathe through crying, let alone talk.
"Okay. It's okay." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Come sit down." She loved her job, so, yeah, he got why this was a quite the devastating event. She was also good at her job. One of the best. Everyone loved her. He already found it difficult to believe she had done something so wrong that it warranted an immediate unpaid leave. "Come here." He sat them both down on the couch and wrapped both arms around her.
"I have to – I have to stop. I have to stop. I-"
"Julia. First, you need to breathe." He had seen her this upset twice in the years of knowing her. And the first time, it had been because their child died. "You can tell me in a minute. First, just breathe." His words were useless; if anything, she was managing to cry harder. Whatever happened, it was serious. "Jules, Honey, it's okay." He swayed her back and forth, trying to calm her down. Had they just let her drive herself home like this? Nothing he was doing or saying seemed to be helping and he realized grimly that he was just going to have to let her cry herself out. He kissed her head, held her tighter, and slid a hand under her shirt to rub her back. "I'm right here for you."
Crying so hard, she tired herself out fairly quickly.
"Do you want to tell me happened?" he asked when her sobs turned into shuddery breaths.
"Aubrey – the girl from the park…"
"Her father again?"
Julia nodded.
Noah sighed. He was going to find this man and he was going to kill him. He was going to kill him. She had been going after him for months and nothing was happening. But of course it wasn't. He had the great American government protecting him. "Can we somehow just go get this girl, Julia? Can we just get her like we got Chloe and Daniel?" He knew it wasn't possible, but at the same time, he was serious.
"I have to stop. I have to let her go." She rubbed her face with both hands. "He's pressing charges."
"Against you? How is that possible? For what?"
"Child endangerment." She was getting worked up again. "Because I walked off with her and didn't contact the proper authorities. He said she had just gotten lost. They had to – to put me on leave at work, and he knows we have kids. He's threatening to have them taken away."
"Jesus."
"He said if I let it go, he'll back off."
Every curse word in the English language found its way into his head at once. What could he say? He couldn't tell her it was okay to accept defeat in this situation. Someone else's well-being was at stake. So what – she had taken the kid on a ride? Her parents had left her alone in the park! He couldn't even say an investigation would lead to nothing, because she had a well-known habit of only following the rules and laws that she felt were worth following. They would go beyond how the kids were treated and want to know how they came to live with them as well. Their hands were tied.
"It's not right."
"I know." It was the furthest thing from 'right'. They were good, loving, well-intentioned people and the person being protected sounded like the exact opposite from the little he knew. "I'm sorry."
Julia lifted her hands then dropped them back down by her sides.
"What if we just lay low for awhile?" he suggested, "Go at him again at a different time."
"I can't put Daniel and Chloe as risk like that. I'm going to go get them from school. I'm worried about them. I'm going to go get them." She took a breath, sat up all the way, and wiped her face with her palms. "I need them come home."
"I have a better idea. You go upstairs and take a second-"
"No. I'm okay now. I'm fine."
"I will go get the kids," Noah continued, "And we can all go to Universal Studios for the rest of the day. Or if you want to stay here and plot your revenge-"
"I don't do revenge."
"Sorry. Plot your counter attack, I'll understand."
"No counter attack. Not this time. I can't-"
She didn't have to finish the statement. He already knew. They couldn't lose another kid.
"I should have just taken her hand and walked out of there. Then let him go after me for child endangerment – that bastard." She pushed herself upright and went off toward the stairs in a huff. "He's damn lucky I have other kids to protect."
"Kidnapping is illegal!" Noah called after her. "It's illegal... It's a really bad way to get what you want…"
"Do you think I care?" Every terrible word inside his head came out of her mouth as she disappeared into their bedroom.
Nope. No, he didn't imagine she did. He breathed a laugh and rubbed his face. He did not imagine that she did. And he knew of way or another they'd end up with that kid.
xxxxx
"You know what I think?" Noah asks, shaking out his wet shirt as they walk underneath fish swimming through a dome. "I'd be able to win a wet t-shirt content if you and your mom hadn't forced me into a double mastectomy. What if I had just kept one and moved it into the middle?"
Aubrey has really perfected the 'what is wrong with you?' expression. It's the look of confusion that accompanies the judgement that really does it. Like she knows what he's saying but can't for the life of her figure out why it's a thought living in his head.
"Oh, I could have put the other one in the middle of my back and it would have balanced out. Arm on one side, arm on the other, chest boob, back boob. Perfect equilibrium."
"And Mom wanted to marry you?" Aubrey replies.
"Yes, she did. Still loves me too. You know why? Because I keep her in a dungeon and don't let her speak to other men to see what they're like."
Aubrey rolls her eyes. "And her friend Naveen?"
"He's okay. His wife is hot. If we all get bored, we'll just swap spouses. He's not too bad himself so we have multiple ways that could go." He steps onto the moving sidewalk and motions Aubrey over. "Hasn't been walked on yet. Perfectly clean," he says and sits down.
She joins him and sits down beside him, then twists her hair around her hand and lowers herself down onto her back.
"You know, we could bring some sleeping bags here sometime. Everyone could stay the night."
"I'd like that."
He should have thought of it earlier. Planned a daytime sleepover. It's clear how tired she's been since coming home. She looks better though. Over the past few days, he's been less worried that she's just going to collapse. "We're coming to the end." He gets up and waits for her to sit then helps her to her feet. "Guess we should have just made it go in a circle so we'd never have to get off." He's half tempted to convince her to sleep while he packs later; the only thing stopping him is he wants her to sleep at night.
xxxxx
July 2000
"Mommy, please," Chloe begged.
"Chloe." Julia took her glasses off and turned around on the kitchen chair to face her. "Pumpkin, I really need to get this work done, okay? I'll play with you later. I promise."
"I need someone to play with me now." Chloe slouched her shoulders and stuck out her lower lip. "Please?"
"You could ask me to play with you," Noah suggested, looking up from the newspaper he was reading, "I'll play."
Chloe shook her head and leaned her entire body against Julia.
"I'm feelin' the love right now."
"I'll play with you next Father's Day," Chloe assured him.
"How does Mom get 364 days and I only get one?" he teased. It was fine. To Chloe he was second best, but to Daniel…well…he was second worst, so it kind of evened out.
Chloe tucked her face into Julia and made an attempt to crawl over the arm of the chair onto her.
"Nope. Mm mm." Julia lowered her back down. "I'm working right now, Chlo. It's Daddy or nobody. Make a choice and go play."
"Fine." Chloe exhaled a long, dramatic sigh. "I'll play with Daddy. Will you play with me when you're done?"
At least he was better than nobody.
"Give me two hours and then I'll come play with you."
"Daddy, come on, you don't want to be late for your first day at dance school."
"Oh." The light bulb that went on above Julia's head was so obvious, he could almost see it. "Why don't you put on a recital and I'll come watch it?"
And just like that, all was well in the world. "Daddy, hurry! You only have two hours to get ready!" Chloe bounded off toward the stairs, grinning widely. "He won't let you down, Momma!"
Julia smirked then took the pen she was chewing on out of her mouth to tell him, "Don't let me down."
This was a rare moment where he couldn't make that promise. "You didn't come up with this idea just for Chloe's benefit, did you?"
"Oh, no," she admitted, "I want to see this!"
"Daddy!"
"I'm coming!" Noah hollered back. He walked upstairs then stood in the doorway, watching Chloe throw toys off to the side of the room.
"I'm clearing the dance floor," she explained, "We're going to need a lot of space. Do you have your costume?"
"What am I supposed to wear for this?" Noah inquired.
Floor still half cluttered with junk, Chloe marched past him and let herself into the master bedroom. She flung open his closet and began sorting through his shirts. "Is this all you have? It's all sweaters and buttons."
"Chloe, you see me every day. You know what I like to wear."
Chloe shook her head. "This won't do. We have to go shopping."
"Do you have money?" Noah asked her.
Chloe looked at him like it was the wildest question he could have asked. "This is your costume. You have to buy it." She took him by the hand and led him right back down the stairs. "Mommy, I'm taking Daddy shopping. He's having a fashion emergency. Can you work for three hours instead?"
"Have fun," was all Julia said.
"This wasn't what I signed up for," Noah said and helped her into the truck, "I thought we were going to play with Barbie or Polly Pockets."
Despite having put her in the back, Chloe climbed over the center console to sit in the front. "I'm getting older. I'm more complicated now."
"Ah." Well, that was hard to disagree with.
"I'm becoming a woman. Women are complicated."
"Five seconds ago, you were still trying to sit in your mom's lap and now you're a woman?"
"I said becoming. It's a process." Chloe buckled her seatbelt then bounced her shoulders up and down. "Come on, Daddy, hurry up."
"I have to know where we're going."
"The mall. Duh."
"What did mom tell you about using that word?"
Chloe shrugged.
"She said don't use it. She also said to stop rolling your eyes."
Chloe leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. "This is harder than I thought."
"Now you know what parenting feels like." Noah chuckled and started the truck. "What do you want to listen to?"
"I'll pick."
"And by 'pick', you mean continuously turn the dial for the next twenty minutes?"
"Yep."
"You know the time you spend turning the dial waiting for a song you like could just be spent listening to ones you don't like until one you do comes on?" His suggestion fell on deaf ears. The mysterious disorder that left her unable to hear the things she did not want to hear had struck once again. The joys of parenting a preteen. It was a relief to know she had at least some defiant bones in her body, however. But he had still liked it when she just agreed to everything.
They listened to two whole songs on the way to the mall and roughly 30 seconds of five others. The rest was a mashup of random words and static. "Do I get any say on this outfit?" he asked as he pulled into a parking spot.
Ignored again. Chloe let herself out of the truck then skipped around to the other side to hold his hand. He dreaded the day she stopped holding his hand, gave him hugs in public, wanted kisses goodnight. Thus far, that day didn't seem to be in the too-near future though. He still had time to treasure every second of it. She swung their arms back and forth, half walking/half prancing toward the main entrance.
They ended up at one of Chloe's favorite stores – Dance and Aerobics.
"You sure you wanna shop here?" Noah confirmed, following her into a store lined with tutus.
"This is where I buy all my dance clothes." She released his hand to approach one of the workers. "Excuse me, where are your neon leotards – size…man?"
Please no neon leotards. Please no neon leotards 'size man'.
The woman looked back at forth between them for a second before pointing back behind her. "Second aisle on the left might work." Her eyes followed them as they walked away.
"Why is she frowning at us like that?" Chloe asked, loud enough that the woman finally diverted her gaze..
"Because you want to put your dear ole Dad into a leotard." That wasn't it. That was far from it. Sometimes he wanted to explain to her that they looked different in a way some people didn't exactly like. Other times, he just wanted to let her keep her innocence. Chloe was so…good. It was always difficult to break it to her when the rest of the world wasn't.
"I'll let you pick the color."
"And it has to be neon?"
Chloe nodded.
So his options were pink, blue, and green – and they were all part of a women's plus-sized 80s theme with the words 'Let's Get Physical' written across the chest. He chose the green.
"Now leggings." Chloe pointed to equally as bright leggings in blue and purple.
"I'm gonna need some duct tape," he muttered, holding up the leotard and a pair of tight blue leggings.
"Why?"
"No reason."
Chloe shoved a pink mesh top and purple leg warmers into his hands. So much for picking out all his own colors. "You can wear your white sneakers you have at home. I also need accessories for my back-up dancers."
"Back-up dancers?"
"Mhm. Daniel will be home soon." Chloe grabbed a few neon headbands, leg warmers, and arm bands in a variety of colors. She piled those on top of the other things then danced her way to the counter empty-handed. "Can I have five dollars for Orange Julius while you pay for this?"
"Orange Julius don't cost five dollars." Noah puts a five dollar bill in her hand anyway. "Stay there. Do not wander off. You hear me?"
"I know, I know." Chloe bounded off out the door.
"Daughter of a friend?" the store worker guessed, taking his money with quite the accusatory stare.
"That's my daughter." Noah snatched up the bags without waiting for his dollar and fifty eight cents change. "Have a nice day."
Chloe was, unsurprisingly, not where she was asked to be. Instead, she had bought her drink and walked a few windows down to stare in the window of the pet store at the kittens.
"This doesn't look like Orange Julius. What did I say?"
"That this doesn't look like Orange Julius. Can we go in? You can look at the lizards."
"Nice try." Dragging a crying Chloe back out of the pet store after giving her permission to go in was not on his to-do list for the day. "Let's go to the car."
"Aw." Chloe dragged her feet along after him. "Why don't you ever let me have any fun?"
"Chloe. I'm about to put a leotard on my body for you and learn a dance that no one will ever be able to unsee."
"Because it's gonna be so good."
Yeah, sure, they could go with that. He had no doubt Chloe could come up with a good dance. She was quite the little choreographer. But could she teach it to a man with two left feet still trying to hold onto his very last shred of dignity? That would be the real challenge.
xxxxx
They made their way through all the rooms of the aquarium, looking at fish, sharks, jellies – and an empty space where eventually he would put some gators or crocs. All he needs is to find that one idiot in the area who thought they'd make a good pet. Somehow when people bought them as babies, it slipped their mind that their little lizard would grow as long as they were tall.
"Mom said I'm s'posed to feed you," he reminds her when they reach the door of the restaurant, "It's not up and running yet, but I'm sure I can find a few people willing to give it a test run."
Aubrey's expression turns blank as she stares in through the glass.
He can't imagine having much of an appetite after as sick as she'd been either. Still, she has to eat. There's no way around it. He pushes open the door and motions her in first. "Sit wherever you want."
Aubrey goes out of her way to avoid the bar. She turns her head so she doesn't even have to look at it. The seat she chooses it on the opposite side of another aquarium wall where it's completely out of sight.
He has so many questions. "I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?" She stops right before she's about to sit down.
"To talk to whoever is in the kitchen." Noah points to a big metal door. "Not even going inside."
Aubrey doesn't make an attempt to sit back down while he walks away. Instead, she looks all around the room, rubbing the uncasted area of her injured arm. If he didn't know better, he'd think she has some sort of paranoia disorder. He almost wishes that was the case. No one should have that much very real fear stemming from a very real reason. Being constantly on edge, waiting for the next attack – that's no way to live. If he can see that much of the mental toll it's taking in her, how much is she hiding?
Noah stands in the doorway, more out than in, and convinces the guys in the kitchen to fire up the grill. They haven't gotten any shipments of fresh food yet and the menus are still being printed, but they've got enough to make a meal out of rice and some frozen food. Rice is probably still a better option for her stomach anyway. He'll show her the real good food when she's better able to appreciate it.
"Tell me," he says when he walks back to the table, "Aside from being surrounded by butterflies, what else do you want to do?"
"I don't know." Aubrey drops down into the chair across from him once she's sitting. She looks into the aquarium like the answer might be in there.
"I want to go to The Amazon," Noah says, "Spend a month out in the wild. Make some sort of documentary. There's nothing wild and crazy that you want?"
"I just want everything to go back to normal," Aubrey answers in a whisper, "That's what I want."
Sure, 'normal' was better than this but, "Normal didn't seem all that great either. Give me something unobtainable. You want to join NASA and go into space? Play in an orchestra at Royal Albert Hall? I know you have big dreams."
Aubrey opens her mouth to speak and then closes it again. She shakes her head.
There has to be a way to uncrush her. "What about play in a space orchestra coordinated by NASA while it broadcasts at Royal Albert Hall?" Nothing but a blank stare. "Alright, alright. I'll think of something though. For now, we can just sit here and look at the fish."
xxxxx
"That's impressive, Chloe," Noah said after hearing the music she intended to use, "How did you manage to make a mashup?"
"Well," Chloe said, "I just waited through all the songs I didn't like on the radio until one came on that I did – and then I record the part I wanted." She grinned at him – completely oblivious to how, after an entire round trip car ride of flipping through the songs, his soul died at her words. "Before we start, I need to see your best cartwheel." She backed up then sat on her bed, hands on her lap, and stared at him.
His best cartwheel? He didn't even have a worst cartwheel. Because he couldn't do a cartwheel. He pushed a few more toys out of his way and looked at where Daniel and his friends were watching from the doorway. "Shut up," he warned them before doing half a donkey kick that led him to collapse against the dresser. His words didn't stop their snickering and whispering to each other.
"It's okay, Daddy. Practice makes perfect. Do it again."
Sometimes practice made perfect. Other times, it just made one look like an idiot twice. He raised his hands in the air, tilted himself sideways, and fell flat on his stomach.
"We'll work on that. Let's just do the easy parts first – like the breakdancing. Just first let me tell Mommy she's gonna need to work for several more hours."
xxxxx
Noah doesn't talk much during lunch. He hopes that without talking, Aubrey will have nothing left to do but eat. She spends a lot of time pushing food around her plate, however. He knows that trick. Spread it out so it looks like more of it is gone than really is. He had watched his son do it for years. So he eats at a painfully slow pace so she has to take more bites.
From there, they leave and go to Lowes for some boxes. And then make their way to her apartment to at least do some packing.
"How about you work on your room and I'll start on the kitchen?" he suggests, "We can tackle Chloe's room last."
Aubrey nods and disappears into her room.
Noah waits a few moments until he hears her moving things around, and then he disappears into Chloe's room. It is heart stopping to see all of her things exactly how she had left them – a book open on the desk, half a water bottle on the nightstand. It's all just waiting for her to come back and pick up exactly where she left off.
He pulls out one of the disposable cameras he has stuffed in his pockets and begin to take pictures of everything – the book, the water bottle, the stars on the walls and ceiling, knickknacks, her closet, all of it. Once he's done, he wipes his eyes, sneaks out of the room, and goes to the kitchen to pack up what he can.
xxxxx
Chloe hadn't been joking about working him for hours. Fortunately, she graciously scheduled him a snack and restroom break in the midst of it. Being 'back up dancers' the other boys were allowed to come and go as they pleased, and he envied them for it. In the world of dance, he was sure he was meant to be a back up dancer and never the lead role. At least she was also kind enough to allow him to shower before his big performance.
And as he duct taped parts of himself that were never meant to be duct taped to make his leotard and tights less revealing, he hoped she knew how he would quite honestly do anything for her. His balls were between his butt cheeks. He was wearing a neon leotard and tights. And once he was dressed and out of the bathroom, she insisted on tying his slight fro into pigtails on top of his head. There was not a single drag queen out there that he could have put out of business. Not one.
"Mommy has a surprise for you," Chloe told him seconds before it was time for him to go downstairs.
For all the years he had know his wife, he thought she was the purest form of good. But he was wrong. She was downright evil. Standing in the living room with her were his in laws as well as their friends Naveen and Nadia.
Julia covered her mouth with her hand, very obviously trying to hide her grin. "I thought you could use an audience for your big night." She sniffled and wiped a few tears of suppressed laughter from her eyes.
Down. Right. Evil.
"Alright, Daddy! Pep talk! Don't worry if you crash during your cartwheel. If you look confident, no one will know it was a mistake."
Naveen lifted his hand to the side of his face to hide his words from Chloe and whispered, "I'll know." He smirked and followed the others as they all took their places on the couch and arm chairs.
Daniel and his friends took to the back of the stage, leaving him to stand right there in the front. He looked at Chloe, who was sitting on the coffee table, looking so excited she might spontaneously combust, and said a quiet goodbye to very last of his dignity. He would do her proud.
Chloe held up her cassette player. "Ready?"
"Oh, I'm ready." He got into his starting position with his back to the audience, head turned to the side, lips puckered, and both hands on his butt.
"Oh my," his mother in law said.
His backup dancers did their own dramatic poses they had been allowed to create on their very own. At least he was not the only family member subjected to being part of this. There were pros to raising a class clown who couldn't care less what people thought.
Chloe counted backwards from five then hit the music.
As the chorus of Baby One More Time came on, Noah jumped around toward the audience and slapped himself in the face. The music went through a series of nineties songs – a few that made him realize they needed to monitor what Chloe was listening to on the radio – and dance moves that matched the lyrics in quite a literal way. During Baby Baby Got Back, he traumatized his mother-in-law once more by turning and pointing to his own butt, moving it in a circular motion. Actually, he was pretty sure by the mortified look on her face, the entire thing traumatized her.
The cartwheel at the end was the moment of truth. He stretched his arm up high, dipped sideways, kicked the TV off the stand, and rolled into the dog bed – where the dog, who was also in the bed, started to bark at him. Crushed it.
Julia burst. If he didn't know her, he'd have assumed she was hysterically crying by how hard she was laughing. She sunk into the couch, face pressed against the arm of it, in tears and gasping for air.
"That was…" Naveen took an extended period of time to finish his sentence, fighting to keep his composure. "…outré. I'm glad zip experienced it once, but I'd not like to see it again." He exchanged a look with Nadia and they both nodded in agreement.
His father-in-law looked genuinely proud. He gave him a thumbs up. "Good job, son." But it wasn't for the dance. Chloe was beaming. Daniel had had fun. And Julia was nearly hyperventilating.
He had done a good job. He put his head down on the dog, panting, and gave himself a mental pat on the back.
xxxxx
"How're ya doin', Aubrey?" Noah comes to check on her awhile later. It looks like she's been productive. A good majority of her room is packed up into organized, labeled boxes. She's methodically placing desk supplies into a box when he walks in, still going, but obviously done. "I think it's about time we head back and see what your mom and Beca are up to."
"I'm just going to finish this," Aubrey replies.
"How about I help you? I'll move the things down from your shelves and you put them in the box." It must be tiring trying to move things and put them away with one hand. He pulls down the books, the writing supplies, the pictures of her and Chloe. They both look so happy. They'll have more photos like this in the future. He has hope. Life can be cruel, but there has to be a limit. He has to believe there's a limit. "I finished the kitchen."
"Thank you."
"I'll come back tomorrow and do the living room, maybe the bathroom. You can go to your meeting about the money and I know mom has some plans at Chloe's school. I think I'd rather do manual labor than be surrounded by that many first graders."
"She wants me to go."
"You gonna?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Look at me. I have broken arm and…"
"Plenty of people break bones," Noah says when he realizes she isn't going to keep talking, "You have a broken arm and you're tired. You don't look nearly as bad as you did before. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?"
Aubrey licks her lips and packs away the books. "Do you think I should go?"
"I think you should do whatever feels right," Noah answers, "I also think that it'll be helpful for Chloe if we tie up some of her loose ends before she wakes up. Less for her to worry about, you know?" He waits for her to close the box then helps her with the packing tape. "It might be good to keep distracting yourself, Aubrey. Constant stress takes a heavy toll. If you just do one thing every day that takes your mind off it, I think it'll help. If you're worried, just remember Mom and I are looking out for you. It's not just you looking out for yourself."
"I'll think about it." Aubrey takes a step back and looks around at her room.
"You did good. How about we all drive around and look for land after this money comes through? We can work through the cold months, if you're willing, and maybe have this new house up by the spring. If it's finished by spring, that'll make it the perfect time to plant flowers. And if we realize we're biting off more than we can chew, more people are looking for work in fall and winter than spring and summer and we can just hire someone to make what we need work."
"Can you just give me a second?" Aubrey asks when they step out into the hall.
"Take your time." He slouches against the wall and waits while Aubrey goes into Chloe's room. There's the faint sound of rustling and she comes back out only a minute later. "Find what you were looking for?"
"No." Aubrey looks down and makes for the door.
"Want help looking?"
Aubrey shakes her head. "I thought maybe she had something, but she doesn't. It's fine. I don't need it."
"What is it?"
"Just a…just piece of jewelry. She told me it was in her jewelry box, but it's not."
"Maybe we'll find it while packing," Noah says.
"Yeah." Aubrey smiles tightly. "Maybe."
xxxxx
"This is the worst experience of my life," Noah said, naked and face down in bed, "I'd rather get shot again." Next to him lay the leotard, leggings, and a bottle of Avon's Skin-So-Soft which Julia was slathering over his butt because they were out of baby oil.
Julia picked at the duct tape, trying to peel it off. "I have so many questions. Why would you think this was a good idea?"
"Some guy I knew in college used to do it!"
"Oh. Okay. And – and you decided to try it because…?"
"That leotard hid nothing."
"Well, thanks for not scarring our children, friends, and my parents." She gave the duct tape a hard pull. It peeled back a few inches, but it was really stuck on there. "And why did you use the heavy duty stuff instead of just normal duct tape?"
"I wanted to make sure it didn't come off."
"Well...it's definitely stuck on there."
He doesn't even have to look at her to know she's entertained by his misfortune. "I used to think you were compassionate. Tonight made me change my mind."
"If you think I am lacking in compassion, maybe you should try asking someone else to pull tape off your butt in order to set your penis free and see if they're willing." She gave the tape another hard pull. "You're really fulfilling all my BDSM dreams here."
"Very funny."
"I'm sorry." She didn't sound very sorry. "This is…not how I expected to spend my night. But I left you alone with the kids, so I'm not sure why I'm surprised. One butt cheek free."
"I feel like God is punishing me for being a good dad."
"No, He's punishing you for those dance moves – and for breaking the TV."
"I blame my choreographer for not taking my level of experience into account, and because she was too cute to say no to."
"She does weapon that, doesn't she?" Julia peeled the rest of the tape off with three rapid pulls. "There."
"Is it normal for my butt to be numb?"
Julia laughed. "I don't know." She carried the tape and empty Skin-So-Soft bottle to the bathroom trashcan then washed her hands.
"Daddy!" Chloe called up the stairs, "Your VIP Meet and Greet is starting!"
Noah sat up and located his normal, every day clothes. "Excuse me. I need to go appease my fans."
xxxxx
"Wow." Noah wasn't sure what he expected upon coming home, but a city made out of pretzel sticks and marshmallows wasn't it. "You guys have been busy."
"Yeah. We're practicing our building skills before we have to put them to work for real." Julia looks at Aubrey. "What do you think?"
Aubrey looks a little less than impressed.
"How did packing go? You guys were gone for awhile."
"It went alright. Got a little done. We were on our way to Lowe's and took a wrong turn - ended up at the new aquarium in Brooklyn. Dunno how that could have happened." Noah shrugs.
"Very mysterious," Julia replies, "I can't imagine how that could have happened." She motions Aubrey over to the couch. "Did you have a good time? Tell me you stayed away from any sharks."
Beca raises her eyebrows at Aubrey.
Aubrey sits down. "I did not…get in the water with any sharks."
Good save.
Julia squints her eyes. "Mm. But were you within a foot of them without glass separating you?"
Aubrey looks at Noah.
"Got the kitchen packed up and part of Aubrey's room," Noah directs the topic back to packing, "I told Aubrey I'll go back tomorrow and get some more done. I'll look for a storage unit too."
"Uh huh. Well, we have a long day ahead of us," Julia says, "How about I see what I can scrounge up for dinner so we can turn in early?"
"I'm just…going to go use the computer for awhile." Aubrey stands back up.
"And I'll go too." Beca smiles at Aubrey like she knows she's being annoying.
"Okay. I'll call you when it's done."
Noah follows her into the kitchen while the girls go to the bedroom.
"How was she?" Julia asks quietly.
"It's gonna be a long road."
"Yeah." She sighs.
Noah wraps his arms around her before she can open any of the cupboards and buries his face in her hair, inhaling the scent of her vanilla shampoo. "Am I a just fine husband?" He has to know.
"What?"
"One to ten scale."
"Nine. I'm docking a point because I know you let our daughter play with sharks. Why are you asking that?"
"I want to be more than just fine."
"You're the best husband I've ever had."
That's not saying much. "I'm the only husband you've ever very had."
Julia turns around to face him. "You sure?" She smiles and plays with the chest of his shirt. "You're amazing. Better than I ever could have dreamed for. Not too bad looking either. Quite handsome, in fact."
"You're not too bad either. My first wife was better though."
She slaps him in the chest then turns around to look for food. "Stop it!" she whines when he continuously thwarts her efforts to open the cupboards by grabbing her hands and pushing them back down so he can hold her and kiss her neck instead. "Get out of the kitchen. Noah! Stop!"
"I'm trying to lead you astray."
"We can hear you!" Beca calls from the bedroom. "This is not a big house!"
"Stop," Julia lowers her voice to a whisper, "I'm trying to" -he slides his hands beneath her shirt- "I'm trying to cook."
"Wanna go out to the boat?" he whispers in her ear. Pulling back, he waggles his eyebrows.
"God, no," she finally manages to open one cupboard, "There's probably like five alligators down there waiting to have sex with me too."
Noah drops his hands and turns around to place them on his knees as he laughs.
"I'm serious."
"I know. That's why it's so funny." A dish towel hits him in the face. He snatches it up and attempts to smack her in the ass with it, but she grabs it and gets tugged in close to him instead. "I love you, you know that?"
"I love you, too. Did Aubrey say something to you? You're being weird."
"Nah." She hadn't meant to anyway. "I guess with everything going on, I'm realizing how much I appreciate everything I've got. You built us a wonderful family."
"We," Julia corrects him, "We built us a wonderful family. All I did was steal them."
"Maybe I should steal someone."
She smiles at him. "You already did. Me. Now get out of the kitchen and let me cook."