This one is really short... but it's meant to be.

Chapter Eight:

In Love and Death Part I: Like Sunspots or Raindrops

Butters set the plate of carrots and celery on the coffee table in his living room and opened his biology book. Kyle grabbed a celery stick and continued reading the passage. The two were partners on their biology project and wanted to finish it a week before it was due so they could get the extra credit. They just had to finish the reading and put together their actual project.

It was close to the end of their first semester as freshmen. It felt odd; it seemed as if their childhood had slipped by much too fast. All of their short lives they had been faced with horror and the weirdness of South Park, but now in their own group they were faced with growing up and the loss of innocence. It was hard to realize how long ago being ten years old seemed, and how they wished they could go back. But they knew, like the lesson they learned in the beginning of their year in fourth grade, that they simply could not go back because that was life.

"So pretty much we just have to make a box diagram of a cell. That'll take like a half hour." Kyle said, then closed his book. "Butters, can I ask you a question?"

Butters hated that statement. It always made him feel sick to his stomach and that something bad was going to be said. So he nodded and expected the worst.

"Do you… do you like Kenny?"

Butters' cheeks heated. That was kind of blunt. Yet the truth was he had had a crush on the blonde since Hawaii. He just didn't realize that's what he felt when he saw or thought about him. That and the fact that lately he was having certain dreams about his cheeky grin down around his nether regions made it kind of obvious he was harboring some romantic feelings.

"Uh… w-well sure I do he's my best friend!" Butters chirruped and hoped that would be enough to appease the red head. But the blank expression in his green eyes told him differently.

"No, I mean romantically like. You're gay, aren't you?"

Butters blanched.

"W-what makes you say that?" Butters asked, Kyle just gave him a look. The blonde sighed heavily and raked a hand through his hair. "W-well… I guess so…"

Kyle looked at Butters with admiration; it seemed so easy for him to admit it. Kyle's stomach squirmed with nausea and he lowered his head. If shy, scared, timid little Butters could admit his sexual orientation, then he had to. It wasn't fair. This was a secret kept too long and he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Me too," Kyle finally whispered, causing Butters to grin.

"Really?! Oh neato, so I'm not alone!" Kyle shook his head and laughed quietly. "Why do you think I like Ken?"

"You eyefuck him all the time, and you fell asleep on him. And you call him Ken." Butters blushed darkly and looked to the window. "You do like him!" Kyle cried as the blonde looked away and folded his arms together.

"W-well, no I... aw hamburgers…"

"You should tell him," the red head pushed; Butters shook his head again. "Why not?"

"I think he and Bebe have a t-thing. I don't even want to mention it." Kyle rolled his eyes and scoffed. There was nothing going on between Bebe and Kenny; she had been with Clyde since the 4th grade. And Kenny… well Kenny was Kenny.

"You're his best friend, he doesn't do anything without you… he has to know. And he has to like you too." Kyle pressed, Butters sighed softly and gnashed his knuckles together nervously.

"Well do you like Stan? Just because he wants to hang out with me doesn't mean he wants to…" Kyle's face was red now, and Butters couldn't help but beam. "Oh. You do like Stan..." the red head sighed heavily and nodded, "if I tell Kenny, you tell Stan." Kyle nodded and took a carrot from the plate.

"Does it bother you about Kenny's… former job?" Butters bit his lip and shook his head.

"It makes me sad. His dad's a d-dick and his mom cares but she drinks too much to really care. It was real nice what he d-did for Karen but it's not fair. It only b-bothers me that he had to do it, not that he did it." Kyle nodded and stuffed his biology book in his backpack.

"Yeah, he's gonna be. But it means something he let you go with, he wouldn't let anyone do that." Kyle smirked as he spoke, and Butters blushed. The blonde leaned against the foot of the couch and popped celery in his mouth. "A-am I the first person you told?" Kyle asked; he couldn't help but wonder. And if he was, then he'd be really happy. Butters sighed and slowly shook his head.

"I told Kenny, but that was w-when I didn't know if I was just q-questioning." Kyle nodded; wait, Kenny had known both he and Butters were gay? "What about you?"

"I told Kenny too." Butters nodded and smiled softly; he knew his best friend was the person to go to for that kind of stuff. He found it peculiar that three members of their group had somehow turned out to be gay, or as Kenny said, queer. He didn't like the label of "pansexual" Kyle had given; he didn't like labels at all. So he just decided he liked what he liked and that was that. It was awesome, and Butters wished he could have a semblance of Kenny's confidence.

"So… what… what made you realize you liked Stan?" Butters had to ask; he had to know if what he felt was normal or if he really did have feelings for his best friend. Kyle turned to face Butters and curled his legs close to his chest.

"I just, I guess I always did. I've never really liked anyone else, so maybe I'm not gay. But Stan is the only person I can see myself being with… but he's never going to like me because he's straight. So seeing him happy will make me happy. I'm just… I can't be that close with someone else. Ever."

Butters nodded and twiddled his fingers together. That made sense; they were the last two pieces of the puzzle. No matter if they were lost or far apart, they needed each other to be complete. And without one there would just be a big hole. You can't have Kyle without Stan, and vice versa. "What about you?"

Butters sighed heavily, "since we went to Hawaii and he saved my people," then he giggled quietly to himself, "and have you ever seen him without a hood?" if he had to be truthful, Kenny was the hottest guy he had ever laid eyes on; and if that's what Kyle wanted to hear, then so be it.

"He's too skinny and pale." Kyle replied, with a soft smile. Butters rolled eyes and laid his head back on the couch.

"Well there's a r-reason for that, a-and he's on the football team now. You just like them stocky."

Both young teenagers looked at each other and burst out laughing. It felt good to finally be able to open up to someone about their unrequited love. Because they understood each other and it made them closer. It felt odd to talk openly about Kenny and Stan that way but… it was nice. Someone understood and it made them feel not so alone.

"Can you believe that all those years and we turned fucking gay?" Kyle spoke up finally as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. Butter shook his head as his laughter died, and took a sip of his iced tea.

"I-I never thought anyone else would be…" Butters finally trailed off and looked at Kyle with shining, happy eyes. For the first time he didn't feel so scared about being gay. Maybe now he could finally come out at school.

"It's just weird, but it's-" Kyle's voice was drowned out by a wailing siren outside of Butters' house, lights flashed through the windows and both boys looked up in alarm. Kyle bolted up and ran to the window and watched as an ambulance and two police cars headed east. Down to his house, passed Stan's, then Cartman's, and over the train tracks.

"I h-hope everything's okay," Butters murmured and stood next to Kyle, who was quickly texting Stan.

To: Stan

Sent: 7:19 P.M.

Do you know what happened?

He wouldn't let go of his iPhone as he waited for the reply. Right now his mind was reeling with possibilities and he needed to know his mind was just playing tricks on him. There were only a select few buildings over the tracks, and only one family. Kyle couldn't let his mind wander.

"Me too," Kyle replied and kept trying to see if he could see where the paramedics had turned. He heard the chime from his phone and quickly swiped his thumb over the screen.

From: Stan

Received: 7:20 P.M.

cartman says theyre at kennys house. meet me there.

"W-what is it?" Butters asked quietly, looking afraid to hear what the redhead had to say. Kyle cleared his throat and grabbed his button up coat from the chair next to him.

"They're at Kenny's." Kyle took Butters' hand as the blonde's shoulders trembled. Tears brimmed his eyes yet they didn't fall; he had to remain hopeful.

But then he remembered something Kenny had told him years ago; he couldn't die. So if it was Kenny, if he was the one hurt, or dying, or whatever, then maybe he was right and he'd come back. But he had to hope, and he had to believe.

Maybe they weren't even at the McCormick's. Maybe whoever told Cartman had gotten it wrong; that happened a lot. He could only hope.

Kyle stopped at the door and turned to Butters.

"Aren't you coming?"

The blonde sniffled, grabbed his dark blue coat, and stuffed his arms in as he ran outside with Kyle behind him. If Death was near, then Butters was going to make Kenny keep his promise; he wasn't going to lose his best friend. Because he knew he would remember; and the pain he was feeling now would be nothing compared to remembering Kenny's death and seeing him alive and laughing the next day...