Author's Note: I remember writing this one, I think Cartman was my favorite part of this chapter, honestly. I feel bad because I want him in it more; I'm just really nervous about writing his character. I am not that evil and couldn't imagine coming up with the stuff he says. Ahh well. We're back to the usual once a week updates for the next five weeks, I'd say. I might have time to update twice a week on occasion. But... we shall see.
I really need to finish that midterm paper I have...
But this one was a really nostalgic piece because it made me remember high school and then I got a little sad because my gang is so split up now and I miss them. And football season was always my favorite season; going to the games and messing around with friends was the best. And the crappy hot cocoa.
Oh, and my football knowledge comes from the fact I played for like... five years. I ended talking about it on my blog, as it's something really personal for me and after today and editing this chapter I had to let it out somewhere.
Okay, I'm done rambling. Enjoy. :)
Chapter Eighteen: Drenched in Vanilla Twilight
The Park County tradition was to host a bonfire before the homecoming game. Each class would say a chant or motto and during the game the seniors would "decorate" the underclassmen cars in the parking lot and sometimes, if daring, the school.
At the bonfire, some people talked to Kenny about his "speech" but it seemed to be a forgotten subject, thankfully. Stan had given a speech at the gathering of teens, and afterward threw a helmet, supposedly from the Pueblo team, into the fire.
They were crazy. They were loud. They were teenagers.
Kyle approached Butters, who was standing close to the fire, and handed him a Sprite and a Coke. He nodded in Kenny's direction and smiled at Butters, who blushed. Kenny was watching from a distance with a grin on his face. He was still wearing the makeup, which looked odd considering he was in his football uniform.
"Stan talked to me," Kyle murmured. Butters' eyes focused on the roaring flames. "I think he's right... just go for what you want. Whatever happens, happens. Everything will work itself out." Butters fumbled for words as his long sleeves fell over his hands.
"I don't k-know what to say. W-we haven't even gone on a date a-and I'm not... not his type. I could never be what he wants," Kyle scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes as Butters spoke.
"You realize Kenny said the same exact thing to Stan?" Butters just blinked. "Just... go.
"Kiss him. Do something he wouldn't expect. Go for what you want." Kyle pushed him forward and Butters sighed heavily.
His feet felt like lead as he slowly walked up to Kenny. Could he grab him and kiss him? Could he actually do something so forward?
"Well hey there, Buttercup," Kenny chirruped as his solitude was opened to company. Butters smiled softly and handed Kenny the Sprite. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. A-after the game d'you w-wanna have sex a-at my place?" Butters' eyes widened as Kenny choked and spit the large gulp of Sprite out in a volcanic eruption of soda and coughs. Spluttering as he wiped his nose and mouth, Kenny stared at Butters.
"You can't just say things like that!" Kyle and Stan glanced over when hearing Kenny's exclamation. Butters shrank back.
"O-oh I'm sorry. I didn't... I-I get it..." Butters trailed off; suddenly it was very hard to breathe.
"Lee, why did you say that?" Butters shrugged his shoulders. "No, seriously." Kenny grabbed his arm but Butters pulled away from him.
"F-forget it, I just.. was bein' stupid... as always," he whimpered, turning away. Kenny was at a loss.
"Leopold!" He cried, running up to him then grabbed his shoulders. "Talk to me, why'd you ask to have sex?"
A tear fell from Butters' right eye and he quickly brushed it away. Kenny cupped his cheeks so he'd look directly at him. Butters just wanted to run.
"Because I-I want you to want me a-and I feel like... if we do that t-then...I'll at least h-have that..." Kenny laughed in disbelief and and gently tapped his hand against Butters' cheeks; he blinked in confusion as Kenny smiled at him.
"Lee, don't you get it?" He asked, "I don't want you to feel that way. What do you want from me?"
Time seemed to stop and Butters looked around for help. Stan and Kyle were making it a point to not appear as if they were watching and he felt a knot grip his throat. He turned back to Kenny, who was looking down at him expectantly.
"I dunno."
"Tell me what you want," Butters shoulders quaked at Kenny's whispered words.
"I-I-I want y-you..." he whimpered, as tears rolled down his cheeks. He sobbed as Kenny wiped them away. "I've always o-only ever wanted you. A-and I never want to lose you again. I wanna be your bo-boyfriend... I wanna grow old together in a cottage with a p-puppy. I want you in the rest of my life."
Butters' eyes widened as Kenny fervently kissed him. He melted into the passion and wrapped his arms around Kenny's waist. He didn't care who was watching. It didn't matter anymore, he wasn't scared of anyone knowing, all he wanted was to never lose the flutters in his stomach and the tingling on his lips.
Kenny's lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like pot, cigarettes, and blood. But Butters loved it because he loved Kenny and seven years of denial, repressed emotion, and torment had gone by. He was tired of waiting. Ten months had been wasted in grief when they could have been spent in love. He felt Kenny smile against him and he smiled back.
"W-what... what do you want?" Butters breathed on his lips. Kenny laughed softly and kissed him tenderly once more before pulling back. "All doubt out of your mind, what do you want from me?"
"I dunno, do you wanna go on a date with me?"
"That depends on if you just want to fool around," Butters countered. The ash blonde boy shook his head.
"No, you deserve better than that. I like you, I have for a long ass time and I really want to take you out on a date. Whatever you want to do." Butters nodded and laughed quietly. His fingers covered his mouth as he tried to suppress his grin.
"Homecoming counts as a date though, I think," Butters murmured without a stammer.
"Then this Sunday will be our second." Butters felt his cheeks heat. "And something fun always happens on the third date." He rolled his eyes yet couldn't hold back his smile as he realized what just happened.
He was going on a date with Kenny. Two dates, with the idea of a third. And Kenny was holding his hand as they walked back to the bonfire. Were they dating? They were definitely something. But as he looked to Kenny, who was cheering loudly with the rest of the crowd, he realized it didn't matter. They were what they were and time would only tell what they would become. He was just happy. So he raised his fist in the air and cried out with everyone else.
The smell of popcorn and snow overpowered the brightly lit stadium. The cheerleaders wore their winter gear, same as the pep band, and the football players wore long sleeves under their jerseys. The game was close; Pueblo was a field goal ahead of Park County, mostly due to the fact they weren't playing first string.
Kyle pushed through the standing crowd with two hot cocoas and popcorn in his hand. Butters scooted down and took the first cup.
"Thanks! I'll buy next game." Kyle shrugged his shoulders and set down his food and drink. The student section was shouting the school fight song and at the defense.
"Why isn't first string in? We're gonna get murdered!" Kyle groaned as he watched Stan and Kenny talking to each other and laughing.
"Maybe coach is mad?"
"That's bullshit; he'd risk the game 'cause he's butt hurt?"
Cartman was commentating which had practically become a rant on how Pueblo was just a bunch of "Pussy Jews."
"Ahahahaha that sounds like pussy juice! Kahl, you're pussy juice!"
"Dammit, Cartman!" Kyle shouted up to the teen who was laughing uncontrollably. Other people had started to laugh as well.
"The plays, Eric, the plays, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey, the other commentator, warned. Cartman scoffed.
"But we're totally sucking balls right nyow. Might as well put Kinny in for that. Ahahahaha!" He chortled once more. "But seriouslah, coach put your best players in or I'm singing the song you sang in the shower room last year." He then began to hum the tune of "Milkshake". Now even Kyle was laughing as Coach Wilson started yelling at Stan, Token, Connor Ashford, a senior fullback, and Kenny, who all ran on the field. Stan and Kenny pushed each other playfully. Five of the current players walked off of the field, happy for the amount of play time they had. The crowd cheered as their most important players took formation and the cheerleaders led a chant.
"Boo... boo Wendy Testaburger!" Cartman said on the intercom as he watched her cheer. "By the way I'm scoring better than you on the ACT in December so HA!" Wendy turned around and curled her hand in a fist. "And our players have assumed their positions... number sixty-nine, Kinny McCormick, will be receiving the balls. And number thirteen has- oh God Mackey, this is too much fun," Cartman said in between fits of laughter. Butters couldn't help it, that one was funny, and as he saw Kenny laughing hysterically on the field he knew it was okay to laugh.
"Oh shit! Stan killed that guy! Oh look at Kinny go, run you poor fuck!"
Butters and Kyle both watched with their jaws to the floor. Stan and Token had ran and passed the ball to each other before narrowly avoiding Pueblo's defense. Kenny bolted for the endzone, practically flying as he barely missed being pummeled to the ground. He ran out of his curl and jumped over a person as they dove for him. He landed gracefully on his feet then veered to the right and tore down the field with lightning speed.
Butters screamed; he was completely open. The Park County side was hysterical as he moved like a blur far too ahead for anyone to catch him. Stan was down, in a dogpile, and Connor was running to help Kenny if he needed it. Which he didn't. As Kenny fled into the endzone, Butters cried out his name and watched as the receiver threw down the ball. He cheered excitedly, jumping up and down, and Connor tackle hugged him in the most "bro-like" way.
"Kinny McCormick has made the third touchdown for Park County and he also just broke the all-time state record for yards rushing. The last record breaker was in 2000 with 8248." Kyle's eyes lit up and he squeezed Butters in an excited hug.
Stan ran up to Kenny and lifted him in a hug before they ran back to the fifty yard line. Kenny was running slower, most likely absorbing the information.
"He's a fast mother fucker. He currently holds Colorado's high school record, like I said, at 8252 in his three year career. Maybe if he keeps it up he can beat the national record. That's 12,144, Kinny. Get on it! He can now be seen being groped by Kahl's hippie boyfriend, Stan."
People looked to Kyle who shook his head in horror. Butters patted his hand.
"It's just Eric..." he murmured, turning back to the game. "I can't believe it... Kenny broke the state record!" he whispered to Kyle, who nodded excitedly.
Two more touchdowns and a field goal were earned before half time. The pep band then played on the field, followed by the cheerleaders and then the director of the board of education appeared to announce homecoming king and queen.
Stan, Kenny, and Token stood net to each other with their helmets in their hands. They were trying to joke around without getting caught. The senior girls stood in front of them, trying to catch the attention in hopes it would help them win a vote even though the results were long entered.
"This year's homecoming king is..." a drum roll was heard; the only people taking it seriously were the seniors. "Stanley Randal Terrance Marsh!"
"That's not fair!" The seniors cried as Kenny ran around, carrying Stan as he did so. The juniors went wild, especially Kyle, who was practically glowing in excitement for his boyfriend. Stan, Kenny, and Token were laughing hilariously as Stan flailed in Kenny's arms. The crowd cheered with them as the board director waited to crown him. Stan was red faced and trying his hardest not to laugh as the crown was placed on his head. Kenny bowed in front of him.
"Stand up!" Stan bellowed, snickering as Kenny shook his head.
"Hail to the KING!" Kenny screamed before grabbing Stan's hand, kissing it, and standing back up.
The director cleared his throat and turned a blind eye before reading the card.
"And our homecoming queen is... no, that can't be right..." he trailed off, reading the list again. "Uh... our homecoming queen is... Leopold James Zachariah Stotch."
Dread coursed through Butters' body as his heart thudded painfully. Did they really say his name? Everyone was dead silent and stared at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths, except Cartman who was roaring with laughter over the loudspeaker.
His face felt hot as tears of humiliation flooded down his cheeks. He stood up, all eyes on him, and in his flighty movements, his cocoa spilled on his feet. Kyle tried to reach out for him and stood up as well. But in the blink of an eye Butters was running down the bleachers in a blur of sobs and shakes.
He had to get away from the looks and the judgment. Cartman's laugh bore into his brain like a parasitic demon and he felt panic rise in his heart and blood. Who would do this? This was a sick joke and Butters was always the punchline. He hated it. He hated everybody... they all voted for him. The mastermind to this prank wasn't the only one at fault; he knew this.
Homecoming queen. He had won that ironic title and it made him sick. His body shook with anguish and anger and he punched the oak tree he leaned on as hard as he could. His hand screamed in pain and he clutched his now bruising knuckles. He'd get grounded. Victimized. Bullied. This was his life; he had been targeted the first week of Kenny's death and now...
He couldn't take it anymore.
For the first time in months he had been happy. But it wasn't fated for him; the worst things happened to him and he didn't understand why. He never did anything wrong. Perhaps it was simply a curse and he'd never get it.
His shoulders wracked with furious sobs and he hugged himself, leaning on the tree for support, and bowed his head as tears poured freely from his eyes.
This was unforgettable. Completely unforgivable. Butters bit his arm and screamed into the skin as fury burned in his blood that now trickled from his teeth puncturing his flesh. He hadn't been this hurt and angry since... since Hawaii.
"Lee?"
Butters looked up and wept woefully as he caught sight of Kenny slowly approaching him. He was covered in sweat, grass stains, and scrapes as he smiled weakly at his best friend. His helmet was in his hand, and he looked beat.
"Y-y-you're gonna get in t-trouble," Butters whimpered as tears fell heavily down his face. "I-I..." he lost his words as he ran up to Kenny. He cried, heartbroken, into his uniform and he clung to him tightly. Kenny held him close and ran a hand through his soft blonde hair. "K-Ken, why me? W-what did I do to deserve this?" Kenny sighed heavily and lifted Butters' chin.
"They do it because they know you won't fight back and they're trying to get a rise outta you. They're fuckin' dicks," Kenny murmured sadly, "and I'm honest to God sorry. They're talking to Cartman, they think he did it. Cartman has always fucked with you and-"
"I'm fucking s-sick and tired of what I can and can't do!" Butters shouted angrily, punching Kenny. It would have hurt his chest but thankfully he had padding. He watched Butters in surprise and covered his fist with his hand. "I'm not nice! I-I'm not gonna sit back and fucking take it anymore! I'm done, Kenny. I just... I just wanna hurt somebody."
"What about me?" Kenny asked seriously. Butters looked at him in awe. He was already banged up and his hair was dripping with sweat. He shook his head. "I've hurt you more than anyone else... I gave you that scar right there. I made everyone resent you back when we were eight and I died and that's how you came up with Professor Chaos. And if it'll make you feel any better..."
"I won't hurt you. That's s-stupid," Butters grumbled, sniffling as he rested his head on Kenny again. "It's just not fair..." he moaned sadly, Kenny nodded and swayed back and forth with Butters in his arms.
"Stan's okay with dancing with you, if you want to."
Butters gave him a look. "Why let them know they got to you? Prove 'em wrong. Give them what they supposedly want because they won't believe you'd actually go out there and accept being homecoming queen." Kenny murmured in his ear, causing Butters to shiver and smile slowly. "Walk out on that fucking field with me and stand up for yourself."
Butters took his hand and wiped his eyes as they began to walk. He rested his head on Kenny's chest and the taller boy wrapped an arm around his waist loosely. His tears stopped and after awhile his shaking and sobs did too. All that was left was sniffles and bloodshot eyes. Kenny's hand caressed his back comfortingly; he felt numb and detached but he knew that Kenny was right. If he wanted to get people to leave him alone he had to be nonchalant about throwing it all back at them.
As they walked, he felt Kenny limp slightly.
"You're hurt," Butters piped up, Kenny shook his head.
"I'm walking off a cramp," he replied quickly, "I haven't been this active since last year and I'm not conditioned," Butters nodded slowly and watched as his face scrunched in discomfort.
When they returned to the field, Mr. Mackey and Principal Withers were talking to Cartman at the sidelines. The chubby boy was yelling and waving his hands around emphatically as he tried to get his point across. Kenny approached them with Butters protectively curled into his body.
"We're sorry Butters, m'kay? It was a prank and we're recalculating the votes," Butters shook his head and took a step away from Kenny.
"No, I'm the homecoming queen. Obviously they voted for me so I want to represent the school," He countered, blushing as Kenny got down on his knees before him. He winked then bowed his head to the grass.
"Hail to the queen!" Kenny shouted, taking Butters' hand and kissing it before standing up.
"Wait, you want to be homecoming queen?" Cartman asked in disbelief. Butters nodded and smiled brightly. "Son of a bitch..." he trailed off. Principal Withers turned to the microphone and smiled awkwardly.
"I am pleased to announce this year's homecoming court. Stanley Randal Terrance Marsh and Leopold James Zachariah Stotch!" He tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible yet it was very difficult. Scattered applause was heard as the small town Colorado occupants tried to grasp what just happened.
The tiara was placed on Butters' head and he was given a bouquet of roses and a sash. He and Stan got pictures together and Kenny watched giddily from the side.
"I'm so proud of you," Stan whispered to Butters as he put his arm around him.
After a brief discussion between the coach and players, the boys ran back out on the field. Butters sat down next to Kyle again, adrenaline flowing through his veins, and he set down the bouquet.
"You and Kenny are un-fucking-believable." Kyle murmured with a smile. "Are you okay?"
"Mhmm," he answered truthfully, "I was pretty bad but Kenny helped," The red haired boy nodded with a smirk. "I-is it okay if I dance with Stan tomorrow? W-we kinda have to." Kyle laughed as he gave another nod.
"Yeah, I'll just sneak a dance with Kenny. Or not. He's an awful dancer." Butters couldn't believe what Kyle had said as he watched the tall blonde move with flowing ease and grace on the field. He had to be able to dance. He was a stripper, after all.
Pueblo was on offense and moving slowly to the endzone. Kyle cheered when Ike managed to tackle their running back to the ground. Stan attempted to chase their quarterback out of bounds but ended up missing him by mere inches. Luckily they were able to keep them from the ten yard line for the remainder of their play.
The third quarter was uneventful as neither team scored. Both teams were slowing down, worn out, and the second string was put in to give the others a chance to rest. By the fourth quarter, Pueblo scored a field goal. Stan and Kenny were put back in, in attempt to score at least once more in the game. Both were slower, Butters noticed, and Kenny appeared to be limping even more than earlier.
They played through the pain and ran the ball to the twenty yard line before they were tackled on the third down. Thankfully, Park County still had possession, so they could run the last down. There were two minutes left in the game and there was a fighting chance another touchdown could be scored. Kyle and Butters were sharing popcorn and sitting in silence as they sat on the edge of their seats.
Stan hiked the ball and one of the sophomores caught it. He ran three yards before being pummeled to the ground in a dog pile. He managed to throw the ball in hopes someone could catch it. Kenny did so, nearly dropping the ball in the process. He hugged it to his chest with one arm and bolted as fast as he could down to the endzone.
It was close, no one could catch him; he had a chance. The crowd was on their feet, cheering and screaming.
"Left, Kenny!" Stan shouted as he tried to outrun the burly player rearing up to the blonde. He was too late, however, and Kenny was thrown on the grass at eight yards. He fell with a sickening pop on his knee and the Pueblo player landed on top of him. He cried out in pain and the referee quickly blew his whistle and ran onto the field along with the medic.
Butters watched as the two knelt down and spoke to Kenny. His face was contorted in pain as the medic touched his knee. Stan was at his side; a familiar tug pulled at Kyle's heart as he heard Kenny cry out in pain. He didn't understand why it sent chills down his spine yet he swore he had heard him in that amount pain before... and it made his stomach squirm with queasiness.
Stan helped the medic pick him up. Kenny looked pale as he trembled from the pain coursing through his leg. Slowly, he walked forward, grabbing onto Stan as he limped across the field. His leg was bent and he was hardly putting any pressure on it. Both teams and sides of the audience clapped as he hobbled to the sidelines. He slumped against Stan as the medic led them away.
Butters and Kyle abandoned the bleachers; Park County had won regardless, a victory of 44-13. They didn't care how it ended. As they walked to the ambulance with open doors, Stan met them, looking sweaty and exhausted.
"How is he?" Kyle asked worriedly, able to see Kenny sitting on the stretcher as his leg was examined. Stan grimaced slightly and ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair.
"They think it's his ACL and LCL. He might need surgery, but either way he's out." Butters shook his head and Kyle's jaw dropped.
"But he was being scouted..." Stan nodded.
"It was Boulder, they're over there waiting to talk to him. UNL was going to check him out in three weeks because they're looking for another receiver. Fucking bullshit..." Stan trailed off, glancing back to the ambulance. Butters followed his gaze; from a distance he could hear Kenny moaning in pain. He could have had a full ride scholarship, that couldn't be thrown away because of an injury. Stan had gotten a leg injury last year and was able to play in four weeks.
"W-what if it isn't a ligament?"
"It is, I can even tell you that. If it's just LCL he'll be able to play in six weeks but... that'll be playoffs and even then..." Stan trailed off, "but if it's ACL he's out for good and he'll probably need surgery..."
"We can't afford that," a female voice piped. The three boys turned to find Karen walking up to them slowly, with her arms folded over her chest. "We don't have insurance, it's why he doesn't have glasses. There's gotta be something else they can do, Stan?" She asked pleadingly, wavy locks blowing gently over her pale, heart-shaped face as she gazed at the black haired boy.
"If he just needs physical therapy then I'll work with him with the school trainer," he told her reassuringly, "but if he needs surgery he either gets it or he deals with a gimp leg." Karen sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"He needs glasses?" Butters asked, the others looked at him curiously, as if wondering why that was his only question. Karen nodded.
"Mama always said he was farsighted, ever since he was real little. It's why he has shit for grades, 'cause he can't read up close. Usually Kevin would read him his homework, but Kevin's dyslexic... so then it was up to me but he'd always fall asleep."
Butters felt extremely enlightened; he always remembered Kenny having poor test grades and he'd always murmur too fast in his parka or hoodie when he'd have to read out loud. After awhile the teachers would just skip over him. He always had headaches, too. Huh.
"I mentioned that to him," Kyle mumbled, then turned to Stan. "So, which do you think it is? ACL or just LCL?" Stan shrugged.
"I dunno, that's what they're determining now. I'm hoping it's just LCL..." he responded, taking the redhead's hand in his. Kyle smiled lovingly and sighed heavily.
Butters and Karen led the way to the ambulance when they saw Kenny hoist himself out of the vehicle. The scout was still talking to him, the blonde nodded, looking ashen and in an immense amount of pain, yet still smiled weakly.
"We'll be in contact, Kenny, let us know how that knee turns out," the scout said warmly, before walking away. Butters hugged Kenny tightly, and the taller blonde smiled dopily.
"You smell like vanilla," Butters pulled away slowly and tilted his head, something he had learned from Kenny. "Come back here, vanilla."
Stan snickered and Kenny looked at him with an unfazed expression. "They gave me medicine. I don't feel a thing," He chirped in a slight slur. Kyle nodded slowly and turned to Karen, who was giggling into her hand.
"What kind of medicine?"
"Oxy... I feel fuckin' awesome." Butters patted his shoulder and bit his lip to keep from laughing as Kenny sniffed his shoulder. "You smell like vanilla."
"So you said," the blonde replied with a growing smile as Kenny nuzzled him. Kyle was laughing out loud now, and Karen took a step up to her brother.
"Kenny, what did the medic say?"
"I got hurt and I gotta wear a brace for two months and..." he trailed off, staring at his sister.
"And what?" She asked, he shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno, what were you saying? Guys, we should go party. There's still the party right? I wanna party and I haven't partied in foreverrr."
"You partied last week, you are in no condition-"
"Shut up, mother," Kenny grumbled, smirking at Kyle who was trying his hardest not to laugh at his blissed out expression. "To Clyde's!"
"No drinking, no smoking, you're high enough as it is..." Kyle compromised as Kenny twirled a lock of Butter's hair in his fingers. He examined the blonde hair and then let it be. "Butters, stay with him the entire time."
"Can I go?" Karen asked her brother, who blinked a couple of times before his smile fell. He shook his head and rested his chin on Butters' shoulder; the shorter boy was not minding this affection at all. "Why not?"
"Because. You're too pretty and too good for that kind of stuff, you could get hurt." Karen raised an eyebrow at her brother.
"Ike's going; I'll stay with him the whole time."
"And then he'll slip you a roofie and all hell will break loose, fuckin' Canadians and their sneaky ass tactics. Ass tactic... fantastic. Huh, that kinda rhymes." Kyle and Karen rolled their eyes and watched as he softly bit Butters' shoulder. The blonde jumped and a fiery blush crept on his cheeks. "You don't taste like vanilla."
"Ike won't slip me a roofie, he'd be more protective than you... at the moment," Karen quickly added after Kenny shot her a dark look. "Puh-leeze? I'll leave by midnight."
"12:30 at the latest, missy," Kenny barked, causing her to smile brightly and nod. "And don't take any drinks from anyone, even Ike." The blonde then draped his arms over Butters' shoulders as he limped behind him. Butters carried his weight as best he could and put his hands over Kenny's.
"So... what did the medic say happened to your knee?" Stan asked as he helped Butters drag Kenny to his car. Kenny slowly turned his head, still resting on Butters' shoulder, and yawned.
"I tore a liger... lig-a-ment," he said slowly, eyes drooping slightly. "'s'posed to go to the doc for more tests but... not gonna happen. I can just off myself and I'll be fine in the mornin'. Stan, d'you have a gun?"
"NO!" Butters cried suddenly, spinning around to face Kenny, who looked scared. "You're not killing yourself."
"Yeah, that would just make you dead."
"For seven hours," Kenny grumbled in a pout, Butters glared at him and clutched his hands tighter. "Lee... Leeeeeeee? Can I tell you a secret?" He whispered loudly. Kyle and Stan looked back, smiling a little as they held hands secretly. Karen was texting and following close behind. Butters nodded, "I would totally let you fuck me if you ever wanted to. I mean I'm not trying to push, I just think that-"
Butters squeaked and quickly covered Kenny's mouth as he continued to speak. Kyle's eyes widened and Stan laughed into Kyle's shoulder.
"Ken!"
"It's true, I wouldn't let anybody else, ever. And... I like the way you feel. You're warm and soft and comfy. Like a teddy bear. I always wanted a teddy bear." Butters blushed darkly and let go of Kenny's hands. Kenny stopped walking. "I don't wanna."
"We're almost there..." Butters half-whined. Kenny pouted his lower lip.
"But I am hurting and I'm sleepy." The blonde sighed heavily at Kenny's complaint and looked to Stan for help. He draped Kenny's arm over his shoulder and Butters felt relief flood through his body. Kenny's head rested on his shoulder, and he barely moved his feet to walk. Kyle unlocked Stan's car and the other two managed to get him in the backseat. Butters sat next to him and Stan handed him their duffel bags.
"Sorry," the black haired boy said, smiling gently as he shut Butters' door and quickly ran to the front seat. "I'll drop you and Kenny off to get your car later, kay?" The blonde nodded and looked to Kenny who was playing with the window. "We'll go to my house quick so Kenny and I can change and then head to Clyde's. Karen, are you coming with us?" The brunette girl shrugged her shoulders as she sat in the car next to Kenny. Ike knocked on the window, and she opened the door.
"Are you... are you going to the party?" He asked nervously, still wearing his football gear. Karen nodded and he smiled, "cool... uh..."
"Ike, get in the car," Kyle barked, wearing the best poker face he could. The black haired boy blinked. "You have to change anyway, if you have your stuff just come with us."
In a moment he was in the front, sharing a seat with Kyle, and being nervous, uncomfortable, and typical Ike. He was uncomfortable around Kenny, and gave him glances whenever he spoke to Karen, but the blonde was laying on Butters' chest.
Butters could get used to the feeling of Kenny snuggling him. His hair tickled his chin and he felt frail against him except for the football gear. But it was Kenny and although he was currently on a very high narcotic he was still cuddling him. Butters was well aware of the fact that people did weird things like that on medicine. He just had never imagined Kenny being a cuddler; it was nice.
"Lee?" Kenny whispered as Butters ran a hand through his hair; it was sweaty, but he always like to be comforted that way.
"Hmm?" Butters asked quietly, unable to hide his smile as Kenny tightened his hold on him and looked up with wide, sad puppy eyes. He melted at his gaze.
"Don't let me go," he murmured quietly, "don't ever let me go." Kenny grabbed Butters' shirt as he nodded and held him tightly.
"Never," Butters replied.
They arrived at Stan's house. He and Ike quickly ran into his house to change and Butters looked at Kenny who was just staring blankly.
"C'mon, we're home," Butters said, trying not to laugh as Kenny smiled goofily.
"Home sweet home..." he chirped as he took Butters' offered hand and slowly stepped out of the car. He hobbled slightly and leaned against the shorter blonde.
"Do you need help?" Kyle asked, Butters shook his head and held onto Kenny possessively. "I'll be upstairs... see if Stan needs anything."
"Uh-huh..." Butters teased with a smirk. The redhead shot him a look and ran up the stairs as he, Kenny, and Karen entered the house.
"Lee, Kar... if you just let me kill myself I'll be back by the time-"
"No!" They both shouted, Butters nudged him slightly as they entered the guest bathroom on the first floor.
"You have to deal like a normal human being."
"But I'm not normal," Kenny barked, sounding much more sober than he had in the car. "D'you think I'm weird?"
"Yes," Karen breathed in a chuckle as she helped Butters undress him. She took off his shoes and socks while he removed his shoulder pads and jersey.
"In a good way, everyone's weird though. You're funny and pervy and completely out of the box." Butters explained as Karen turned on the water.
"I'll be... out there, if you need any help..." she trailed off as Kenny took off the knee brace.
"'m not a little kid, I can take my pants off," Kenny grumbled as Butters' hands rested on his hips.
"You're injured, hush," Kenny sighed and smirked as Butters pulled off his pants and leg pads, yet kept his boxers on. He winced when he caught sight of Kenny's swollen, bruised knee. "That looks awful," Kenny shrugged and grabbed onto the sink to support his weight.
"Boxers off," Kenny sent him a drugged out "seductive" look as he shucked off his boxers quicker than Butters had imagined. He blushed at the suddenly naked boy in front of him.
"I'd seriously be back in like an hour..." Kenny pressed as he opened the shower door and stepped inside. Butters sighed heavily and sat on the toilet as he ignored the comment. "Do you like kids?"
"Uh... yeah? Why?" he asked as Kenny spit something from his mouth.
"I like kids but I don't want any. I don't wanna give them this curse... it'd kill me and it'd be all my fault. Do you want kids?"
"I guess... I've never thought about it much. It'd be nice though and I hope I'd be a good dad. Where is this coming from?" Kenny poked his head through the door and smiled toothily.
"I think about my future when I shower, among other things." Butters snorted at his offhand comment, "and I'm not feeling up to other things right now."
"I bet not... what have you decided about your future tonight?" Kenny hummed at Butters' question and rinsed his hair as he gave it a thought.
"I'm moving out when I'm eighteen, I'm looking at apartments now. If I go to college I'll go for graphic design and art and open a business or somethin'. If I don't go to college I'll do like a tattoo apprenticeship-y dealie or something, I've decided I have to draw though. I'd like to be in a band. I'd like to move to Washington and get a nice little house and a dog and drink awesome coffee. I want you to stay in my life. I wanna walk Karen down the aisle and know she's gonna have her happily ever after and I wanna be the cool uncle who's like a second dad. Then I'd like to die."
Butters sat there, listening and hanging on to every word like an addict with a line. He couldn't help but feel happy to hear Kenny's future... because he saw a future for himself. Whether or not it was the drugs talking it was reassurance to Butters.
The water turned off and Butters handed Kenny a towel as he opened the door. His hair was falling in shaggy waves on his shoulders and he was slightly red from the heat of the water.
"That sounds like a happy life," he said with a smile. Kenny shrugged as he dried himself off lazily.
"I hope," he replied, shaking his head to fling the water out of his hair. Butters laughed loudly as he watched Kenny, who tilted his head.
"You're like a dog!"
"Woof woof," Kenny answered as he stuck out his tongue. The older boy rolled his eyes and smiled in amusement.
"Sit, boy," he teased, snickering as Kenny did so and pulled on a ratty old long sleeved shirt that clung tightly to him and a pair of jeans Butters had procured from somewhere. He gave Butters a look as he realized they were skinny jeans. They hugged him comfortably and even hung a little baggy, which caused Butters to grimace. "They look nice on you."
"I gots chicken legs and Tweety bird ankles, but thanks," Kenny responded as he tightened the knee brace. He walked slightly unsteady out of the bathroom and smiled at Butters who was watching him. "I have no ass, if you're looking," Kenny commented with a wink. Butters blushed and jokingly patted his backside; he so did have an ass. Kenny's eye widened a little and he looked to Butters with a surprised grin. "You just groped me..."
"And?" Kenny just smiled smugly and locked eyes with Butters, who couldn't bring himself to look away. He felt himself be pushed up against the wall and shivered as he felt Kenny's hand caress his side. He couldn't help it, he thought, as he reached up and brushed the long bangs from Kenny's face. His dazed blue eyes focused somewhat and his cheeks were slightly pink, causing his freckles to show up more than usual.
"I feel like kissing you," Kenny said, probably narrating his own thoughts. Butters blushed and his fingers danced over Kenny's hand.
"You should," Butters suggested with a smile. He met Kenny's lips halfway and wrapped his arms around his neck. It was different, probably because Kenny was high on Oxycodone, but Butters liked the faster and deeper kisses. It caused his knees to buckle and his cheeks to heat as Kenny's mouth dominated his own. "Mmm... K-Ken..." Butters moaned as Kenny's mouth nipped down his jawline and neck. The taller boy's eyes met his and he smirked as his tongue soothed the red mark he had made on his collarbone.
"Lee," Kenny breathed hot against his neck, trembling as he felt Butters caress the skin under his shirt, "I want you..." Butters felt his heart hammer in his chest as he felt Kenny's gentle kisses lead up his throat, to his mouth once more.
"You're just h-high..." Kenny shook his head and pressed his forehead to Butters'. "Ken, we're not in a relationship a-and..." The blonde looked at Butters and smiled softly as his thumb stroked his cheek.
"I love you," Butters furrowed his eyebrows.
"I love you too but that's not getting me in bed with you tonight." Kenny laughed brightly and shook his head as he held Butters to him.
"Wasn't tryin'. I just... hmm..." Kenny trailed off in a hum, resting his head on Butters' once more and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." Butters rolled his eyes and gave Kenny a quick kiss.
"One day I'll really appreciate it," he replied with a smirk as he trailed his hands down Kenny's lanky arms.
They arrived at the party twenty minutes later. Ike and Karen vanished immediately; Kenny had taken another pill so he was quickly losing common sense. Butters stuck close to him, and Kyle and Stan were nearby, both looking a little too flushed and giggly for Butters to not think about what happened upstairs.
He wasn't too familiar with party code. Everyone drank, most people smoked. There was lots of food and dancing. People had to avoid closed doors; nowhere was safe. So Butters sat on the couch with Kenny, who was stretching his knee, and stared up at the ceiling.
"Want some?" Stan asked, with a red Solo cup in hand and a lit joint. Butters shrugged his shoulders and held out his hand for the joint; maybe it would calm his nerves. He breathed in the sweet smoke and held it in as long as he could. Kenny slowly turned to Butters and laughed goofily.
"What?" Butters asked after exhaling. Kenny shrugged his shoulders and examined his hand carefully.
"I'm dirty..." Stan furrowed his eyebrows as he sat on the chair in Clyde's living room.
"No, you're not." Butters replied as Kenny started scratching at his hand.
"I see it, all over, 's all fucking dirty."
"What is?" Stan asked in a concerned tone as Kenny started to scratch his entire body. He shook his head and looked down at his hands as if he were scared Butters put a hand on the small of his back and took the hand that scratched at his face.
"Me. Getitoff," Both boys looked at each other and Butters slowly wiped at his shoulders and arms.
"Better?" Kenny gave him a look but settled slightly. Kyle sat on the other side of Kenny with his own plastic cup in hand.
"Kyle, 'm I dirty?" Kenny asked, resting his head on his shoulder. Kyle shrugged his shoulders.
"Minded? Yeah." he replied with a smile. "Dude, apparently Wendy and Cartman are having a scream-off outside."
"It's probably foreplay," Stan mumbled, then cringed slightly. "Oh God..." Kyle made a disgusted face and scrubbed at his eyes.
Butters couldn't help but laugh out loud. Their reactions had been hilarious and... anything was probably funny to him now. Kenny was twirling a lock of Kyle's hair in his finger, then letting it bounce like a spring. Kyle was used to this, anyway, so he let Kenny amuse himself.
They talked for awhile and eventually Kenny fell asleep. People had asked the group how he was feeling or if he'd play next game but left the fact that he was sleeping on Butters' chest alone. Sometime ago he managed to wriggle against Butters; his cheek was on his pectoral and his hand had bunched up the cloth around his heart. He was snoring quietly, it was more like a snuffle, and he had curled himself into Butters as if he belonged there all along.
"Who woulda thought Kenny was a cuddler?" Stan asked, smiling affectionately at Butters who shrugged as he raked his fingers gently through his long blonde hair.
"A lot of people say medication brings out the subconscious, which allows people to express what they want the most. Cuddling is a form of reaching out for someone to be comforted or seeking closeness because of-"
"Ike, that's my brother!" Karen hissed as they approached the four. Both had their own cups and a bag of chips. Butters eyed her hand and she looked to Ike.
"I gave her like half a shot, don't worry." Ike assured, downing the rest of his before opening the chips. "Anyway, it's true, Karen. Based on his personality and upbringing, Kenny has an intense amount of suppressed emotional and psychological need for personal attachment. Except he can't express that because that's a big part of who he supposedly is. Henceforth, he is currently using Butters as a teddy bear."
"Upbringing?" Karen asked defensively, folding her arms and scooting away from Ike. "We grew up fine..." she trailed off with a dark look in her eyes.
"Considering certain external factors as well as the fact he's the middle child... tell me what happened when your parents fought again?"
"Ugh..." Karen grumbled, already knowing he made his point and won the now argument. "It's pretty obvious," she mumbled. Butters' heart fell, Kyle and Stan looked slightly uncomfortable as they glanced at the McCormick siblings.
"And what would Kenny do?"
"He'd comfort me. Or go to his room or sit on the couch and then dad would get pissed at him for not taking a side."
"The middle child is always the most ignored and the one who usually gets in the most trouble." Karen snorted and bit at the skin around her nails. "So, Stan, to answer your question it makes a lot of sense that Kenny's a cuddler."
Kyle, Stan, and Butters stared at Ike with wide eyes and jaws dropped. They couldn't quite tell if he was serious, but by his look, they felt he meant every word. Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head slowly.
"Ike..." he trailed off, laughing quietly. "Kenny is a friend not a psychological study." Ike shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Kenny, who was mouthing something as he slept. He smirked.
"The position he's sleeping in also says he's insecure and-"
"Isaac!" Kyle cried with a laugh, honestly he thought it was kind of funny. Ike smiled; that time he was joking around.
"Okay, fine, I'm done. I'm sorry, Karen." she gave a nod and looked out the window.
"I'm going outside for a bit," Karen mumbled, taking her cup and walking to the back of the house. Ike sighed heavily and facepalmed.
"I'm a fucking idiot," he grumbled; his older brother and friends just smiled at him as he quickly followed the brunette.
"I can't think of Kenny like that," Stan mumbled, "all sad and neglected... he's not. He's okay." Kyle shook his head as he stared at the blonde.
"Yeah, he's kind of resilient." Stan nodded and Butters smiled as Kenny twitched and jerked beneath him. He was a rock, he wasn't the type of person to ask for help. Which is why Butters believed Ike's every word. He could be Kenny's comfort... his rock.
Kyle stood up and left to go to the bathroom and Stan went to get another drink. Butters asked for one, and glanced at Kenny as he started mumbling and whimpering.
"Hey..." Butters murmured, shaking him gently, "Kenny?" The tall boy's face expressed fear and he tossed his head against Butters' chest. "Kenny, wake up." He said a little louder. He knew Kenny would be humiliated if he realized his classmates were watching him suffer a nightmare. Thankfully no one was paying attention.
Stan returned and his face fell as he saw Kenny thrash about on Butters. He nearly jumped over the chair and knelt down in front of Kenny.
"He won't wake up... Ken? Kenny!" Butters cried. Stan sighed heavily and hit Kenny on the face, hard enough to redden his cheek but soft enough to avoid a bruise. The blonde yelped and shot straight up yet his eyes were slightly foggy. He trembled and looked at Butters, scared.
"It was just a nightmare... you're okay," Kenny gasped and laid back down on Butters. He grimaced; he was still asleep, he could see it in his vacant eyes.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie... and with strange aeons even death may die." Kenny mumbled as he stared at the ceiling. Butters felt a cold chill run down his spine and Stan looked as if he had been slapped in the face. The blonde tilted his head.
"He... the cult of Cthulhu. They said that to him... that was almost seven years ago, why would he remember that?" Butters looked to Kenny who was still mumbling and he sighed heavily.
"Ken? Kenny... Kenny!" He shouted; his voice was drowned out by the loud music. But it was enough to jolt Kenny away; he jumped and looked up with wide, aware eyes.
"Whasgoinon?" He asked into Butters chest, he hummed quietly, "mmm... you smell like vanilla."