Author's Note: And here we close out probably the most depressing segment of "Simple and Clean". Congratulations, you made it this far. If you didn't, that's okay. From what I remember things are pretty good from here on out... for awhile, things happen, rollercoaster of life, blah blah blah. This is like an intermission piece to the next act; usually the ones between 1k and 4k are. The longest chapter I've ever written is coming up soon too (20k I believe...) and there is a lot of really funny stuff coming up from what I remember. A lot more Cartman too. And other characters that haven't been around so much. And things.
Anywho, most of the sad is over with now! Thank you all so much for reading and I hope to have the next chapter out soon!
This may or may not be based on true events, it's up to you to decide... ;)
Huh. This chapter has some major plot hints, kind of funny. Never planned it that way. Schweet.
Chapter Thirty-Four Colorado Rocky Mountain High
"That mountain is really tall..." Butters trailed off as he stared with hazy eyes at the silhouettes in the night sky.
Stan snickered and Kyle fell into hysterics at his realization. Kenny stared up into the dark abyss as he sucked on the final drag of the joint, then handed it to Cartman, who chucked it back at him.
"That's not a mountain," Kyle chortled, "that's the fucking clouds." Kenny gave him a look and pointed forward emphatically.
"No, dipshit. Those are mountains," the blonde said with a grin as he wrapped an arm around Butters while feeling around his coat pockets.
"Oh my God Butters is baked!" Stan cried, falling on his back as he giggled violently with Kyle.
Kenny searched his pockets and pouted his lip when he realized he was out of joints and cigarettes.
"Eric, d'you have anything?" Kenny asked, sitting up. Butters slowly turned his eyes from the mountains to Kenny and grinned.
"No, we fuckin' used them all!" he cried angrily, then stared at his hands, "they are like little frogs..." he clenched and unclenched his fists and began to ribbit.
"More like fat ass toads."
"'Ey! Don't call me fat!"
"I'm not calling you fat, I'm calling the frogs fat-ass toads." Kyle grumbled as he laid on Stan's lap. "Hey, I've got some blotter at home."
"That's too fuckin' far, Jew, you shoulda thought of that before!" Cartman growled as he texted, "it's too fucking cold for this shit. I'm gonna see if there's a party."
"Kenny?" Butters grabbed his parka, stirring him from his reverie. "Look at the stars... what if stars are the earth millions of years ago? Like imprints... and we're seeing them burn and die and soon in a million years people are gonna see the Earth we're on burn up and die... what if we're gonna burn, Kenny?!" The taller boy held his boyfriend as tears welled in his eyes. "I don't wanna burn, I wanna die in my sleep all happy and warm and cozy."
"We're not gonna burn, kay? Watch," he held up his hands and hovered them over Butters, who stared with slightly crossed eyes, "this is your flame shield. No one can feel it but this will protect you from fire and smoke so you'll never burn."
"What about stove burns? Or flat iron burns? Or an asplosion?" Kenny cracked a smile at that, "explosion," Butters corrected and blushed a little.
"Fuckin' fag..." Cartman grumbled. Kenny shoved him.
"Hey!" He barked angrily, rubbing Butters' back, "he's my fuckin' fag, only I can call him that." Butters giggled.
"Yeah, Er-ric!" Butters teased, sticking his tongue out, "'cause only Kenny's gonna fuck me."
The chubby brunette covered his ears and kicked his feet.
"BRAIN BLEACH! WHERE IS MY GODDAMN BRAIN BLEACH?!" He screamed in a shrill voice as he fell face down in the snow. Kenny laughed hysterically and squeezed Butters' hand.
"But yeah, it'll protect you from those too." Butters grinned and held his hands over Kenny, then did the same. "It doesn't work for me." The blonde pouted and pretended to draw on him again, with more emphasis.
"You're not gonna burn, either. You have to die in your sleep with me." Kenny snorted, which caused Butters to hit him. "I'm serious."
"Okay, okay, we'll die together." Cartman groaned in annoyance as he viciously texted on his iPhone.
"This suddenly got morbid," Kyle mumbled, Kenny shrugged his shoulders and Butters held onto his shoulders tightly as he stared closely at Kenny's face.
"You have the big dipper on your face." Kenny furrowed his eyebrows as he shivered and took the flask away from Stan, who glared at him momentarily.
"Huh?" He asked, taking a few swigs, then handed it back to Stan, who quickly pocketed it. Kyle rolled his eyes
"Your freckles... on the right side of your face. It makes the big dipper." Butters traced it and Cartman gagged. Kenny rolled his eyes and, just out of spite, pulled Butters into a deep kiss that warmed him up instantly. The smaller blonde made a happy noise from the forceful ministrations.
"Jesus Christ get a fucking room, fagmos." Cartman spat as he sat up, "you have ruined New Years Eve. I had the option to blow up Israel and instead I chose to fucking hang out with you queerbags."
"You were gonna blow up Israel?!" Kyle cried, Stan sighed heavily and laid back on the snow. "What the fuck?! Who would actually agree to blow up a country?" Kyle asked incredulously.
"That's my fucking business, Jew."
"Dammit, Cartman!" He cried, causing Butters and Kenny to pull away from each other.
"Here we go for the millionth time..." Kenny mumbled, "you two are wasting my high." He turned to Stan, who looked blissed out and he grinned. "Dude, you're fucking stoned."
The black haired boy shook his head and raised himself up slightly from the snow.
"No, 'm not," Butters giggled and Kenny nodded at his dazed friend.
"Yeah... you're fuckin' drooling, dude." Stan wiped his mouth and grimaced at the saliva on his hand.
"Ahh... sick!" he exclaimed, then stared at his hand in amazement. Kenny turned to Butters as he checked the time on his phone and he smiled softly.
"What do you wanna do in the new year?" He asked quietly, so only his four friends could hear.
"I want to... get a perfect score on the ACT... and just have fun." Kyle said, lacing his fingers with Stan's.
"I wanna... I want a bon-bon.,," Stan trailed off, closing his eyes as he smiled dopily.
"No, what do you want to accomplish?"
"I wanna fly," the raven-haired boy said as he laid against his boyfriend, who hugged him close.
"I want to score better on the ACT than Kahl-"
"You can't if I have a perfect score, dumb ass!" Cartman rolled his eyes and sneered as he scrolled through his phone.
"And then I'd like to rid the world of all ginger Jews." Kenny even rolled his eyes as Kyle lunged at the chubby boy, yet Stan pulled him back and held his fists down.
"I want to just be like this..." Butters murmured as he snuggled warmly against Kenny. "Happy." Cartman rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath. Kenny glared at him as he clasped hands with his boyfriend.
"I wanna..." Kenny trailed off, grimaced. He didn't know what he wanted to do. He didn't really want to think about it either. So he looked up and smiled as he said, "I want to live." Butters held him tight as he pressed their lips together. They heard Stan and Kyle cheer as the clocks on their phone turned to midnight.
"We can live," Butters whispered hot in his hear, "happily ever after."
Kenny smiled and nodded as he laced their fingers together.
"Here's to the journey there, eh?" He said, drawing their lips close once more. Butters nodded and smiled against him.