Author's Note: Well this one is... uh... fun. I don't remember this one much and don't have much to say. All I know is this one is personal because it has two names formerly used for my band. And a few songs we wrote while under certain conditions. That being said my band is going to release an EP soon, maybe you'll listen to it, maybe you won't. Who knows? I actually just updated this after we played- schweet. Yay smart phones. I need water.
Anyway, this one was quite a bit of fun for me, for multiple reasons. It was a fun chapter to write and I hope you like this one. I'd also like to address some things. While I don't apologize for including the abortion in this story and my decision to have Bebe go through with that, I apologize if it made anyone uncomfortable. It was something I needed to write for reasons and... yeah. I feel like it fit in the story. But it was emotional because my SO has a nephew who I love very much, and I work at a daycare. I love kids. I'm sorry if that chapter made it seem like I didn't. That is not the case at all.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's just light-hearted fun. I also hope you find some humor in the band names :) and songs.
Chapter Title from "The Delicate Kicker and the Pleasure Anaconda" by MTM... or The Appropriate Burrito. Or Cream Face. (it's original)
Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Priest at St. Mattress
"How about this one? It's got two rooms, a decent looking kitchen, and all you have to pay is the electric bill." Kyle said, pointing to his laptop. Kenny shrugged his shoulders. "Never mind, it's too pricey."
"How much?" The blonde asked, closing out of his own apartment search.
"$725." Kenny burst out laughing and shook his head as he turned back to his laptop. Butters leaned against his shoulder and flipped through the newspaper as he searched for apartments for Kenny and Karen.
No one mentioned Bebe's pregnancy after she took Kenny's advice and said the test at the hospital had come back negative. A month had gone by and they were approaching their finals for the end of the school year. The time in between then and now had been relatively boring for Butters. Nothing had changed in his relationship with Kenny, except they saw each other less and less but that was because Kenny was working too much. School was school, hanging out was the same, and his family was the same. He had finally fought away the urge to throw up whenever he ate and the theatre department was almost ready to perform the spring play.
Life was good and no one could really complain. Nothing too crazy happened. Everything was relatively calm and seemed back to normal. Kenny had grown more and more comfortable around everyone and they hardly even thought of the rape; Butters couldn't believe it had already been five months. Everything was, for lack of a better phrase, as it should be. He and Kenny were happy, and so were Stan and Kyle, and all of their friends. It was nice.
"Have you ever thought about renting a house?" Butters asked as Kenny shut the laptop shut and threw himself on the bed in exasperation. The dark blonde looked up curiously. "I found a house here, it's like... $450 a month and all you pay is electric and water."
Kenny sat up and looked to where Butters' finger was pointing. "See," he continued, "it's a two bedroom, one bathroom house, but it's two stories and there's a backyard for Bunny to play in. I mean you'd have to mow and do all that but... it's a neat little house." Kenny took the paper and read the advertisement carefully. He then handed it to Kyle, who read through it probably more thoroughly than he had.
"That's like... three miles from here. D'you wanna go check it out?" Kyle asked, standing up, "I mean you probably couldn't go inside but..."
"Why not? That's the most reasonable housing I've found. I mean, I've saved enough so we could live comfortably for a few months..." Kenny took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes as he stood up. "I'll tell Karen."
Of course, as soon as he mentioned the prospect of a house rather than an apartment, Karen was out of Ike's room and down the stairs in a matter of a few seconds. The three boys followed after her, Kenny holding tightly to Butters' hand, and Kyle followed close behind. Stan met them outside; as he and Kyle kissed Kenny sneaked Butters into the backseat of Kyle's car before anyone could see him. Karen sat next to them and tried to contain her excitement yet Butters could see it in the way she held herself and bounced her knees.
"Kenny... can I say it?" Butters asked, the blonde gave him a look and shook his head. He squeezed his hand though, and Butters rested his head on his shoulder.
"So, where is this house?" Karen asked her brother.
"It's like three miles west of South Park. It's in the country, which I wouldn't mind except I should probably get a different vehicle than a bike... especially for winter. But, we might not even be able to see the inside. I know you were excited about that last apartment, but this is a lot cheaper. But, don't get your hopes too high."
"You mean Bunny could be a free range dog?" She exclaimed, Kenny laughed a little and nodded.
"Maybe... we have to see," Butters smiled as he looked at Kenny. It was a little odd to see a serious side of him but it was nice. This side meant business... and lately he had been more and more like this. In fact, he didn't remember the last time Kenny had a day off work. Kyle and Karen were both worried he was sleep deprived; Butters could see it in his reddened eyes and dark bags under his eyes. He didn't seem to mind though. "I applied for food stamps so that'll help if I get accepted, that took a lot... but we need it. I can't buy all this shit, so it's gonna be tight for awhile but the factory is opening a weekend position and I'll probably-"
"Three jobs?" Butters asked incredulously, Kenny shrugged his shoulders. "Kenny, you're already working yourself way too much. I mean, when was the last day you didn't work at least one job?"
"Uh... three weeks ago." The bright blonde gave him a pointed look and Kenny sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Lee, it's not like I wanna work. Someone's gonna have to pay for this shit and I need to have as much money as I can. If I gotta give up 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday then I will, it's not a big deal."
"Except you look like death," Karen grumbled darkly as she glared at her brother, who groaned in annoyance and slumped back on the seat.
"I am Death," he countered, causing her to roll her eyes and shove him slightly. Butters grimaced at Kenny, who scrubbed a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "You wanna live better than we did, right?" he asked Karen, who remained silent, "well here's how my mind is thinking right now. I make about $925, with taxes considered, a month. If we got this house $450 of that would go to that. So we'd have $475 extra. Then if-"
"That's more than we've ever-" Kenny held up a finger.
"We have electric and water to pay, which'll be about $80 so that leaves us $395. Subtract $25 a week for gas, that takes us to $295. Then we have the phone bill, with both of us that's gonna be $100 for both of us, so we're probably gonna drop down 'cause we'll save. Now we're at $195... if I don't get food stamps then we'll spend $50 every two weeks on groceries. Leaving us with $95 in savings. A month. I have money saved up, but that won't last long considering we've got furniture and shit to buy. I need that third job; it pays $9.25 an hour."
Butters sighed heavily and squeezed the back of Kenny's neck. He could feel the tension in his muscles just from the light touches. He seemed to relax, however; Kenny grew silent as Butters gently massaged the taut flesh.
"Then I'll get a job, I'll work at the grocery store or somethin' three nights a week." Karen offered, Kenny shook his head. "Why not? I'm gonna be fifteen!"
"Because you have school to worry about."
"And you don't?!" Karen snapped, Kenny sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders.
"I mean college, Karen. You gotta keep your grades up so you can get scholarships and stuff."
"Since when did you turn into such a..." she trailed off angrily as Kyle and Stan got in the car.
"An adult? Since shit got tough and I figured I'd have to work up to somethin'."
"No, I was gonna say a freaking asshhole," Kenny rolled his eyes and felt his hands twitch. He scratched the back of his hand numbly, yet stopped when feeling Butters' hand on his.
"It's gonna get figured out, guys. Money's gonna be tight, maybe Karen could get a job a couple nights a week; she has a point. You've been working your butt off for months... she'll be legal to work, and it'd sure help you out." Butters offered, trying to find a balance between them. Fiery hazel and blue eyes looked to him and he faltered a little bit. "I mean... you can't do everything on your own, Ken."
"I am, though, aren't I?" Kenny barked a little roughly, then softened a little, "there's... there's a lot to consider. I'm gonna call the guy to let him know we're goin' up there... Jesus Christ..." Kenny trailed off, as he opened the paper and dialed the number.
Butters glanced to Karen, who didn't look angry; just worried. He gave a nod and she sighed heavily as she rested her head on the window and looked outside. Kyle turned to him and he shrugged his shoulders. Stan was too busy flipping through CDs to listen to.
"It's only three miles, Stan..."
"I need good jams, Ky!" He said, laughing. Kenny smacked him on the shoulder as he spoke on the phone. Stan rolled his eyes and glanced at Kyle, who gazed at their blonde friend as he wrote something on his arm with a discarded pen he found.
"Okay, thank you so much, I'll call you after we're done." Kenny said into the phone, then hung up. "There's a key under the door, she said we can go in and look on our own. She lives in Denver and not a lot of people call to view the house, so she figured it'd be easier. Fuckin' sweet," for a moment Butters saw the old Kenny, yet as soon as he heard the tone and saw his glittering eyes he was gone.
He was too stressed, Butters knew that. Kenny just wouldn't admit it. He was a stubborn person, he always had been, except now it was more irritating than usual.
"Dude, you need to chill," Stan said gently as he turned to Kenny. The blonde shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on the seat.
"I am," Kenny mumbled, closing his eyes. Karen scowled and Butters grimaced; it was probably the truth.
As they drove out of South Park, Butters shook his head. Karen grinned and Stan glanced back as Kenny's head drooped onto Butters' shoulder. He breathed deeply, indicating he was asleep, and Stan chuckled.
"Shit, not that chill..." he said in shock, then grinned, "Karen, what were you arguing about?"
"He's worried about money. He always worries about money. And he's a workaholic using jobs as a scapegoat from his problems but won't admit it."
"Honestly, it's a better holic than he could be..." Kyle mumbled, Stan punched him lightly, "it's true! Don't hit the driver!" Karen laughed a little and Butters smiled sadly.
He was right. And Karen was right. Although being a workaholic was better than an alcoholic he was still practically addicted to working. He had been for the past three years. He hadn't even considered Kenny using a job as a way to escape what he may be feeling. His jobs were mind-numbing; Butters sure couldn't work that much at such a shitty place.
"I'll talk to him," Butters mumbled as he ran a hand through his messy blonde hair. He was honestly tired of worrying about him. Of course, he always would, but Kenny could be doing a better job at taking care of himself rather than working his ass off.
They pulled into a long driveway from the county road and Butters' jaw dropped.
"Is this it?" Stan asked, Butters scanned the paper for the address, then checked the mailbox. He nodded. "Shit, Kenny, wake the fuck up!" The blonde righted himself and his cheeks turned pink as he apologized to Butters, who shrugged and rubbed his thigh affectionately.
"Look," Butters murmured, Kenny turned ahead and shook his head. Karen looked at her brother and stamped her feet in excitement.
The outside was beautiful. There were trees everywhere, some with fruit, seemingly endless acres with a creek just down a ways. A small brook ran through the yard with what looked like a bridge made from the ground; everything was open and quiet. The house itself was much larger than Kenny yet smaller than most houses, with a wraparound porch and a balcony on the second floor.
"Shit," Kenny mumbled, turning to Karen, who was grinning from ear to ear, "remember what I said? We can't just jump into this."
"But... Kenny. You can't pass this up, this is PERFECT!" She exclaimed, flailing in excitement. "I always wanted a wraparound porch... and look, are those peach trees? I love peaches. It's a sign from God. This is our house." Kenny rolled his eyes and smiled a little at his sister, who beamed up at him, "I mean... we'll see," she lowered her voice to a pitch that sounded scarily like Kenny and Butters giggled at her impersonation. The blonde shoved her slightly and she bit his arm.
Kyle parked the car and Karen flew out of the backseat and up the front porch with speed comparable to her brother's. Kenny shook his head and smiled at Butters.
"You want it," the bright blonde sang, causing his taller boyfriend to shrug his shoulders, "I see it in your eyes."
"I want a lot of things," Kenny whispered with a smirk as he nudged him slightly. Butters blushed and looped his hand with his as they followed behind Stan and Kyle.
"Dude, you could have parties here all the time... this would be the best place for a fuckin' party. I mean, all this space... you could have like a concert or something. Dude! We can actually jam without people getting pissed!"
"Stan..." Kyle said as Kenny laughed and began to walk around the property.
Butters watched him with a smile as he inspected various things that he probably had to consider, that none of them had even thought of, and he grimaced when looking at the roof.
"There's a couple of shingles that need replaced," he said, hopping down after climbing to the top, "other than that the view is fucking awesome from up there." Butters smiled and Kenny wrapped his arm over his shoulder as they walked to their friends, who were waiting impatiently. "Oh shit, there's a garage." Kenny ran in a flash to the garage and shed; Butters looked to Kyle, Karen, and Stan and shrugged.
Kenny came back grinning a few minutes later.
"There's room for two cars in there. And then there's a shed with all these tools and shit."
"Meaning?" Kenny was the one who avoided machinery and heavy equipment, and Butters didn't want him near any of that either.
"Meaning..." he trailed off at Butters' look, "meaning... cool..." he left his sentence unfinished and smirked as Butters rolled his eyes with a smile.
Kenny unlocked the door and Karen bolted inside before he even set down the key. As Kyle and Stan followed them, Kenny shook his head as he entered the house.
"Damn it," he grumbled. Butters looked at him and Kenny shook his head as he walked into the bare living room.
It was beautiful. The floors were a dark hard wood, except in the living room where a beige plush carpet covered the floor. The walls were painted in hues of white and brown; most were a golden tan with a contrasting white. The room were small yet inviting, and felt warm. The kitchen was larger than Butters had been expecting and had a breakfast nook. It was lighter than the rest of the rooms, with eggshell walls and light wood. There were plenty of counters and the stove was fairly new. The bathroom was even large, and all white. It was pristine.
Butters met Karen at the stairs, who ran to Kenny with a grin on her face.
"We get this house. Please... please please please please please?!" Kenny chuckled and folded his arms.
"What did you find?"
"One of the bedrooms opens to a little balcony. I claim it." Kenny rolled his eyes as Karen dragged him up the stairs. Kenny grabbed Butters' hand and squeezed gently. Kyle and Stan smiled happily at each other as they followed.
"There's a storage room and it also has a washer and dryer, so we don't have to buy that!" Karen exclaimed as she opened the door to what Butters thought was a closet. Kenny shook his head at the space even for that room; although it was small it was about half the size of his room at their old house. And they didn't even have a washer or dryer at their old house. They always made late night trips to the laundromat in Fairplay, usually twice a month.
"And then here's my room!" Karen chirped, opening the door.
It was, in fact, a room fit for Karen. The walls were a light blue with a pure white carpet. There was enough space for a double bed, a desk, dresser, and it left Karen with many decorating opportunities that she so looked forward to. It also opened up to the balcony, which faced the mountains and Kenny shook his head in awe.
"This is beautiful..." Butters murmured, Kenny nodded. It was so Karen.
"Damn it." Kenny grumbled, walking out of the room quickly. His sister grinned as she ran ahead of him.
"And here is your room," she opened the door dramatically, causing Butters to giggle, and Kenny peered into the room.
The walls were beige with a dark wood border. The floor was the same dark wood that was downstairs, and it had a rustic feel. It was the biggest bedroom he had ever been in; although he figured it was because it was so empty.
"Kenny, this is you..." Butters whispered, causing the taller blonde to turn and press his index finger to his lips. The bright blonde grinned and hugged him tightly. "Just imagine..." he whispered quietly into Kenny's ear, causing his cheeks to turn pink and he smiled at Butters as he pulled away.
"This has an earthy feel... which is perfect, 'cause you like earthy... herby things," Stan said; Karen rolled her eyes and Kenny grinned toothily. "You can't pass this up, dude. This has everything you need. And more. It's like... awesome."
"How much money do you have? In total?" Kyle asked, Kenny sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders.
"I have like... $4,000 in savings." Karen's jaw dropped and Butters' eyes widened. "That's not good, considering how much I work," he told his sister, who grimaced.
"Furniture could be expensive... you don't mind second-hand, do you?" Kenny raised an eyebrow and pulled at his shirt.
"I live off of secondhand, dude."
"'Cause you can get a lot of it in secondhand stores, I mean some things you can't... but I'd say think about $500 or so for furniture, and that's including like plates and silverware. And you're gonna have a big grocery bill 'cause you'll have to pretty much buy everything you'll possibly need. My parents said they'll help too. But you could even drop a job and you'd probably have enough to live comfortable."
Kenny sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm gonna call her, tell her I'm interested," Kenny mumbled, walking out of the room. As soon as he disappeared, Karen jumped excitedly. Butters smiled a little in amusement.
"But he won't drop a job because he's a work-a-holiiiiic." Karen sang, causing Kyle to roll his eyes yet smile.
Butters looked around and couldn't help but imagine Kenny and Karen in that house. It was them. It was warm and happy and peaceful and exactly what they needed. He was standing in Kenny's potential room, which reminded him of a loft... and he could possibly share it with him. Sometimes.
They would be miles outside of South Park. Meaning Butters didn't have to worry about his dad finding him. As long as they played their cards right they could potentially see each other every night; although he would have to work around Kenny's hectic schedule, as well as his own. He grimaced at that, and sighed heavily as he continued to envision this room.
He also wondered how Kenny would decorate. Then again it would probably be Karen who did that because Kenny didn't seem to really care about how that kind of stuff worked. A home was a house to him; a place to eat and sleep. But this was supposed to be a home, where he felt safe and comfortable.
He'd make it a home for them. He'd work with Karen and make it the happiest place they could ever go.
Then again, they could just step outside and feel that way. He could imagine Christmas out here; all of the snow and the peace and quiet. They could have a huge tree downstairs and decorate this old home beautifully. This was meant to be a festive home. Not quiet.
Kenny returned and pocketed his phone.
"So...?" Karen asked, her brother smiled softly.
"She wants to meet tomorrow to discuss this..."
"What's to discuss?" Butters asked, Kenny sighed heavily.
"She's a... kind of gardener." Kyle raised his eyebrows, "no, not that kind of gardener. Except I may have to ask... anyways, she has peach trees and she sells the peaches at farmers markets. But she hates coming out here. She said she'd take off $75 of the rent if we did the gardening and stuff here. Would you be up for that?" He asked Karen, who nodded ecstatically. "That, and she wants to know how serious we are. I told her I'd hand her $450 tomorrow for the first month of rent... and then I told her that I was still a minor, but she just needs to see my papers. D'you wanna come with, Kar-bear?" He asked, she nodded and smiled. Kenny turned to his friends and looked around, "so... I guess this... is our house."
"Well, we should celebrate!" Stan said, then dug in Kenny's pocket and pulled out a joint. Kenny smirked and pulled his lighter from his other hand, and Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Not in the house..." Kyle said, closing the Zippo lighter. The two rolled their eyes and Butters giggled. They hurried to Kyle's car, where Stan was already taking a hit as he sat down. Karen looked at her brother curiously and he tilted his head.
"Can I try?" She asked, causing Kenny's jaw to drop. "I just... I'm curious."
"I thought you were straight-edge." Kenny mumbled, leaning over Butters as he exhaled a drag of his cigarette out the window. He squirmed as Butters' hands tickled his sides. Karen shrugged her shoulders and Kyle looked back at her.
"Well... I don't see why not," Kyle said, "I mean, I got high for the first time when I was fourteen and-"
"Karen, I don't want you doing this," Kenny said as he turned back to face her as he puffed out the window. His cigarette burned his lungs and calmed him down; he couldn't wait for the pot to mix with that feeling. Butters coughed a little and Kenny smiled sadly as he tossed the cigarette out the window. "Sorry," he murmured to Butters, who nodded and shrugged.
"I'm not a little girl, Kenny... I mean I could go over to Ruby's and do it if I wanted to."
"Ruby smokes pot?" He asked incredulously. Karen shrugged her shoulders and gave her brother a look.
"Ike's done it too. All my friends have..." Kenny sighed heavily and leaned to the front of the seat and tapped Stan on the shoulder. The raven-haired boy took one more hit then handed it to Kenny as he coughed.
"Damn it, Kar-bear... fine. People don't usually get high their first time, anyway." Butters snorted and Kenny smiled a little. "Okay, so what you're gonna do is take in five quick breaths in as much as you can, but not too much or you'll cough, and then you'll hold your breath for like ten seconds. Then you'll kinda swallow. And repeat. Like..." Kenny lit the butt of the joint again and demonstrated the quick intakes of breath and swallowed. As he exhaled, smoke billowed from his nose. "Lee?" Butters took the joint and did the same actions.
Karen looked a little nervous as Butters passed the joint back to Kenny, who offered it to her.
"I don't want you doin' this at some party and getting the funny stuff. There's some fucked up shit out there, and if you're gonna do this I wanna know you're getting it pure. This isn't street weed or that Willy Wonka shit that goes around and you don't wanna try that. This is just normal."
"You say shit a lot." Kenny shrugged his shoulders and smiled.
"You don't have to do this, but I'd rather you do it with me around so I know you won't do anything stupid."
"Like what?" Karen asked as her shaky hands took the joint. He redirected her hands to hold it properly and she sighed softly.
"Like... I dunno, people do crazy shit. Just do it if you're gonna," Kenny opened Kyle's glovebox and pulled out his purple bag he kept in the car so his parents wouldn't ever find it. He pulled out his pipe and checked the bowl; he must have loaded it last time. He shrugged his shoulders and lit the bottom before taking in deep breaths. He held in the smoke and watched as Karen coughed violently. He patted her back and laughed a little as she scrunched her face. "Take it easy..."
"That tastes awful!" She gasped, voice hoarse. Kenny grinned and patted her back some more.
"Dunzo," he said, Butters took the pipe and copied his actions. "Just... don't take as big of a hit. Little, like you're out of breath. You can't cough or you'll lose it."
He watched as Karen took in shallow breaths and pinched her eyes shut.
"Hold... hold..." he told her, laughing as her face contorted with distaste. "Okay, swallow."
"Dunzo!" Butters chirped, handing the pipe to Stan, who smiled at Kyle and posed in a posh manner. Kyle rolled his eyes as he turned onto the highway.
"Okay, it'll take a few minutes... I wouldn't do more than a couple more hits."
"What'll happen?" Karen asked with a scratchy voice. Kenny shrugged his shoulders.
"It's... hard to explain. You'll feel slower, everything'll move slow and sometimes you can see music. Like Stan and I'll just jam out and it's like God and his minstrels are playing the most beautiful music ever. Even though we're just strumming guitars. And everything is funny. Or you'll get paranoid like Lee here..."
"I don't get paranoid!" Butters cried, then grinned as he stared at Kenny's face. He laughed a little and Kenny patted his knee as he turned to his sister, who looked a little nervous.
"Kyle says everyone's voices sound different. Stan usually laughs at everything. Lee likes to eat. I just chill. You'll feel really relaxed and... yeah..."
"What?" Karen asked as her mind grew a little foggy. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Kenny blinked a couple of times and Butters giggled uncontrollably next to him. "You'll get like that too. You'll just feel like nothing can bother you... nothing can hurt you..."
"So... so is that why you did it when you were young?" Karen asked him, "'cause you were always that for me. But Kevin wasn't for you... and mom was... was that your protection?"
"Now you get it." Kyle shook his head and laughed as he looked back at the McCormick siblings. "Take another hit..."
Butters watched them and smiled as he hugged Kenny from behind. His head rested on his shoulder and he noticed how Karen seemed to loosen up. Looking at them now was like looking at twins; he didn't realize how similar they appeared until now. It was incredible.
Karen exhaled the smoke and laughed a little as Kenny looked at her curiously.
"I totally get it," she said, grinning in a way only McCormicks could grin. Kenny beamed and ruffled her hair as she laughed.
"How're you feeling?" Kyle asked, Karen shrugged her shoulders and fell into a fit of giggles. Stan snickered as well and Kenny smiled at his sister before turning to Butters, who was tracing patterns on his arm.
"Your freckles are like constellations. You don't have a lot... but they make things."
"Uh-huh...?" Kenny said, Butters giggled and nuzzled his head in the crook of Kenny's neck.
"I'm feeling really... relaxed. A little dizzy... that's normal right?" Stan shook his head, and coughed a little as he snickered. Kenny flipped him off and turned to Karen who was starting to shake. "Kenny, is there something wrong? Why am I dizzy? I shouldn't be spinning, should I? Oh my God. What if... what if my gravity's out of whack and I can see the Earth actually spinning but no one else can. Kenny, what do I do?"
"Nice going, Stanley," Kenny grumbled as he ran a hand through Karen's hair, "you're fine, Kar-bear. Dizziness is normal. Especially for your first time. Everything is fine, you're fine. Just... don't freak out or stress or anything. Enjoy it. Put on some music."
"I love music," Butters chirruped happily as he leaned on Kenny. "It's like, it knows the depths of my soul and can make me happy when I'm sad. Kenny, you're music... you're my music."
"Oh dear Lord..." Kyle groaned as Butters giggled into Kenny's chest.
"Just listen," Kenny said to Karen, who held his hand tightly, "just listen... and tell me what you hear... or see... or feel..."
"Swing Life Away" by Rise Against played and Butters hummed quietly as he rested his head on Kenny's chest. Karen stared out the window, with her head resting on the door, as she fell silent and listened to the words. She looked to Kenny as she smiled and nodded.
"It's beautiful... the chords and the tone... they're beautiful..." Kenny cackled as he nudged Butters, who had latched his mouth on his neck.
"I just got high with my sister... how fucked up is that?" Butters laughed against his skin and shrugged as Kenny cupped his chin in his hand and kissed him sloppily.
"Right after you arranged to get a house too..." Butters hummed happily as Kenny pulled away slightly. Their lips met in tender kisses. "A house... that's like... yours."
"Jam session." Stan mumbled as he searched the glove compartment for food. "We have to have a jam session. Kyle... where're my Doritos?" Kyle rolled his eyes as he parked in the driveway and Karen stumbled slightly as she opened the door.
After grabbing Ike from his room and telling the Broflovskis they found a house, they went over to Stan's. All of them headed downstairs except Stan, who went up to his room to grab his guitars.
"I am so hungry..." Butters moaned as he laid on Kenny, who raked his hands through his soft blonde hair. Kyle walked to the bar and dug around for some food. He tossed a bag of chips to Butters, who tore into them ravenously.
Stan came down the stairs with his two acoustic guitars. He handed one to Kenny and Butters rested on the couch, close to him yet not quite touching. Stan tuned his guitar quick and began strumming with his pick; Kenny preferred to play without one.
Karen seemed to fall into a trance as Stan and Kenny played a slow melody that just seemed natural to them. They weren't playing the same tune but somehow it went together.
"We should write a song..." Kenny murmured as he ran his fingers over the fret. Stan nodded and grinned goofily.
"How do we do that...?" He asked, still playing away with Kenny.
"Well first... we gotta have a band name." Kyle hit 'record' on his iPhone and Butters giggled as he started making a video. "We should be Cream Face." Stan burst out laughing and Kyle bit his lip as Karen looked up in disgust.
"What about... Burrito?"
"Burrito?"
"That sounds so fucking good... go make me one." Kenny snickered and shook his head as he stopped playing for a moment.
"Burrito... The Appropriate Burrito!" Stan looked at him curiously, "that or Cream Face. Take your pick, dude."
"The Appropriate Burrito has a ring to it..." the black haired boy trailed off.
"We should go to Taco Bell!" Butters said, watching the two discuss this. Somehow this was making sense. He didn't know how and he didn't want to question it. Actually, he did. That was the sucky part.
"Uh... so we're The Appropriate Burrito. Okay. Now we need a song."
"A HIT!"
"...another? Dude you're baked!" Stan cackled as Kenny spoke.
"No a song. A hit song. Randy won't let us do that in the basement." He enunciated the 't' in "basement" for emphasis, to which Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Bastard... so... we should write a song... about butt sex."
"Kinky butt sex?"
Kyle slapped his forehead and Butters covered his face with his hands as he tried to quiet his chortles. Karen shook her head and Ike was rolling on the ground laughing.
"It shall be called... "The Delicate Kicker... and the Pleasure Anaconda."" Kenny announced gleefully. "Dude, that is AWESOME!"
"Just imagine... Here is The Appropriate Burrito with their number one song "The Delicate Kicker and the Pleasure Anaconda"! Dude, that does sound really fuckin' catchy. Now whaddo we do?"
"We sing. Lots. And play guitar. And... we have a song."
"A song... about butt sex."
"Kinky butt sex."
"Ooh, I like kinky butt sex..." Stan trailed off, setting his guitar down. "Especially with Kyle, he's just so lim-"
"Stanley!" Kyle barked, cheeks dark red, "you're supposed to be singing."
"About kinky butt sex. But how do we do that?" Stan looked to Kenny who stared at the guitar with slightly crossed eyes. Suddenly, he sneezed, and he laughed as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.
"This shouldn't be hard..." he mumbled, strumming a little bit to start a rhythm. Stan followed the key he was in and played a soft melody, then played it a little louder. "But... if we go off track it'll be okay. It doesn't just have to be about kinky butt sex. It'll be a metaphysical song."
"No, that's metaphorical."
"Whatever..."
Butters giggled and Kyle bit his index finger to refrain from laughing. Kenny closed his eyes as he played along with Stan and started humming.
"The way you bounce in the blankets
You can be my Energizer Bunny
Keep going and going and going and
Take it down a little more
Such a saint in the sun
And a master in the covers
You can light my match,
Strike a deal with the devil
And count your blessings,
'Cause I'm the fucking priest
At the church of St. Mattress
Get on your knees
And we'll see what happens..." Kenny trailed off, looking to Stan who grimaced as he continued to play. He remained silent, except for his careful plucking, and he looked around the room. Kyle was staring at them both with raised eyebrows, Butters stared at Kenny with his jaw slightly slack, and Karen and Ike were laying on their backs.
"I've got two reasons to say
You're better than the others
And I hardly care to show what I mean
I'll hold you down tonight,
I'll hold you close
I'll make this better than the last time
And you'll sneak out the window
In the middle of the night
And I'll pretend to be asleep
But the bed is so much colder...
I know where you're going
I know where you've been
But I can't get enough of you..." Stan sang, not too happy with what he had thought of but he couldn't remember what he sang two lines ago so it didn't really matter. This was all just for shits and giggles anyway.
"This isn't butt sex anymore," Butters whispered to Kyle, who snorted in amusement as he placed a cartoon character tab on his tongue. Butters eyed him for a moment but found himself growing sleepy as he listened to the guitars slow from the rapid pace, into a peaceful harmony that would easily make him fall asleep.
"And I can... feel you everywhere
I can taste you on my tongue...
And you won't let go
You won't, you won't, you wont...
And I'm addicted
And I keep falling
But you catch me,
You catch me when I bleed
When I'm torn
When I'm on the floor
Just don't let me down and I
I'll fall even more in love with you
As long as you catch me..."
"Hey, Kenny?" Butters murmured as he stopped singing and just played guitar with Stan once more. He looked to his boyfriend curiously and he slowed his playing. "Happy birthday." Kenny smiled softly at the boy next to him and kissed him gently. His fingers stopped moving altogether and the guitar slipped from his hands as he entwined his arm around Butters' waist.
"Hey! That's my baby!" Stan exclaimed, grimacing as he briefly saw one of their tongues as they deepened their lip-lock. Kyle stopped recording and grinned at Stan, who set his guitar down and pocketed the pick before looking at Kyle's phone with him. "You recorded us?" The redhead nodded and smiled gently.
"It was hilarious... and then it was actually a good song. Considering I'm the only one of us who is sober that has to mean something." Stan grinned and laced his fingers with his fiance's as they watched the video.
"I just feel... really good," Karen murmured as she glanced at her brother, who was currently in the midst of a heated make-out session where he was pinned to the couch, then to Stan and Kyle who were cuddling and laughing quietly to themselves. Ike looked at her and smiled warmly as she rested her head on his shoulder. They stared up at the ceiling as they found shapes in the framework. "Duck."
"Like how good?" Ike asked, grinning a little as she giggled. A little uncertain, his hand clasped hers and her smile faded slightly. "And I found an eye."
"Like... you know the book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"? That quote... 'We are infinite.' Well... I get what he means. I feel infinite... like... I don't even know. I don't even feel like I'm in my body right now." she laughed at how stupid she probably sounded but Ike didn't do anything except smile. "But... but I'm worried... 'cause all the bad stuff has happened already, right? Nothing bad is gonna happen to me and Kenny anymore, right? Now the good stuff happens... rabbit." Ike nodded and squeezed her hand.
"Right. No more bad things... don't worry. Kenny won't let it... and I won't either, okay?" She nodded and hugged him tightly as she closed her eyes. "Heart."