Author's Note: I probably won't be updating for awhile, and I know I just updated a few days ago. But today is this story's one year birthday! I didn't publish it when I first started writing it (thank God, you guys would probably be stuck at chapter four right now), and that's a big reason why updates are so frequent. I'm 12 chapters ahead of this from where I'm writing. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you- so much. For reading, for favoriting, reviewing, everything. This started out as a few drabbles and turned into the biggest writing project I have ever done... and this is the first one I'll complete too! So that's exciting. Thanks for everything :). And thank you to all of the people who I've gotten to know along the way :).
This probably has one of the funniest Kevin scenes I've ever written. I love Kevin. I need to write him more.
Special thanks today go out to fallingwthstyle, Lucenthia, and WaveGoodbyeCaroline. Thank you so much for everything :)
Chapter title from "Shake it Out" by Florence and the Machine
Chapter Forty-Eight: It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn
Butters startled awake in the middle of the night three miserable nights later. Karen stirred slightly in her sleep next to him and clutched her rag doll, the one Kenny had made her, tighter and burrowed her head further into the pillow that smelled like Kenny. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he looked around sleepily. The clock on the right, Kenny's side, read 3:15 and he grimaced as he slowly pulled himself from the warmth of the blankets and into the still night air.
Butters stretched and slipped on his glasses as he grabbed his phone and the old pocket knife Kenny kept hidden by his bed that he wasn't supposed to know he had. He slipped it in the pocket of Kenny's Batman pajama pants that were too snug but much too long on his legs, but fit Kenny just right. He tip-toed down the stairs and flinched as a flashlight blinded him.
"Shit, you scared me," Kevin mumbled groggily and walked up to Butters with bleary eyes; he hadn't slept much since the vigil. Butters grimaced and shrugged his shoulders.
"Sorry, did you hear something?" he whispered, Kevin nodded and pointed to the front door.
"This is like fuckin' "Paranormal Activity", man, if something jumps out I'm gonna shit bricks."
"You're scared?" Kevin shot him a look.
"What do you think I am, a giant robot? That shit's scary!" Butters gave him credit for that, and totally agreed; he hid behind Kevin as he tip-toed to the front door. They were silent, moving stealthily to peek outside, hoping to go completely unannounced in case it was Kevin's worst fear, a demon, or Butters' worst fear- the Silence or a weeping angel.
"What are you doing?"
Kevin let out a loud, shrill scream that was much too high for a man his stature to make, and spun around wildly, nearly hitting Butters in the face as he turned, ready to throw the flashlight at the intruder. Karen stared at him with a raised eyebrow and sleep-mussed hair as her feet padded quietly on the floor. She simply blinked, and Butters snickered at his reaction and the giant of a human grumbled lowly and gave him what he thought was a gentle shove. Butters nearly fell from the "gentle" force.
"Did I scare you?" Karen asked with a mischievous grin. Kevin rolled his eyes and gave her a mocking look.
"We heard something," he offered quietly, sounding much more innocent than Butters ever imagined him to sound.
"To make it even better I scared him too," Butters told her with a grin. She high-fived him.
"I am not letting some creepy ass demon drag me off to hell." Kevin barked, his blush was concealed by the darkness. Butters tensed as another thump was heard, right outside the front door, followed by two footsteps.
"Shit. Oh my God..." Karen said, clutching to Butters, who hid behind Kevin again. Butters grabbed the knife from his pocket as Kevin peeked through the small window.
"Oh." Kevin mumbled, turning around to face them. Butters furrowed his eyebrows and Karen tilted her head; both were Kenny-isms they picked up on.
"Well?" They both asked, high-fiving each other as they spoke in unison. Kevin turned the lock and opened the door.
"It's just Kenny."
Butters dropped the knife and Karen bolted for the door. All he wanted to do was kiss him and apologize over and over until Kenny told him to stop, and even then he'd continue. He wanted to make it up to him in any way he could, including trying to do that thing in bed he wasn't sure he wanted to try. But he'd do it for Kenny.
"Ke-!" Butters took a step back in surprise, then turned to Kevin and Karen in confusion. "That's not Kenny."
"Yes. It is." Kevin said, stepping outside. Karen nodded and followed her brother; they had the same flowing movements.
"How is that..."
Then he remembered when he first saw Kenny after his ten-month death. He had seen all of his ages represented in his face, making him look much younger than he was. The strange phenomenon must be at the beginning because...
"That baby is Kenny?"
"Yup." Karen said, picking up the tiny infant in an orange blanket. "I don't know how it works now 'cause mom's not able to have him, y'know, but... each time, he'll end up somewhere. Didn't know it would be this soon."
"He hates this part. He's totally aware of what we're doing and that we're talking about him." Kevin said, "he just can't say nothin' cause he's a little baby," Kevin's teasing tone caused Kenny's blue eyes to flash angrily. Butters jumped back in surprise.
"This is weird. I'm dreaming." Karen pinched him and he yelped in alarm.
"Nope, not dreaming, hon," She said, kissing Kenny's forehead and passed him to Kevin, who let out a taunting laugh.
"I could totally embarrass him right now."
"Leave him alone, Kev..." Karen mumbled, giving him a stern look that Butters was sure their mother had worn when she scolded her children. "Butters has already seen everything Kenny could possibly be embarrassed about." Butters blushed and Kevin smirked as she shrugged and nodded; the bright blonde swore he saw the little bundle that was Kenny roll its eyes.
"It looks like his hair is gonna be a little redder this time around."
"Yep, and his eyes are greener too, more like mom's." Kevin nodded, "All limbs and digits are accounted for and I don't notice any weird things, sir." she chirped, as if answering an order.
"What do you mean weird things?" Kevin chuckled and Karen smiled a little.
"He's come back with two left feet before, literally. He also had one blue eye and one purple eye. One time he couldn't speak English... what language was it?"
"I thought it was Russian..." Karen mumbled as she held the tiny baby in her arms. Kevin nodded and Butters raised an eyebrow at the baby, who looked at him momentarily, then slowly shifted his gaze to Karen.
"I feel like a pedo because eventually that will be my boyfriend."
"Oh, it is your boyfriend, he's totally aware of all that, think of it as he's seventeen in a baby's body. Oh, you poor, poor baby..." Kevin said, looking sympathetically at his brother. "He'll probably just go to sleep and be normal by the time we all wake up. I'm going to bed. G'night."
"You wanna hold him?" Karen asked as they walked to the stairs, "it may be the only time you're able to." Butters shrugged, considered this, and took the tiny bundle in his arms. "Other than when he dies again, of course."
"I could never get used to this, it's bizarre," he mumbled, "he's adorable but his eyes look too aware for me to be comfortable." Karen nodded and walked back into Kenny's room.
"This is my favorite part, if I can have one, about his curse. It's interesting to watch him grow; I've stayed up to watch it before. He always looks a little different so that's fun too. The worst is knowing no one will remember what happened... and that was the coolest thing we've ever done for him. We used to do funerals but it just got too expensive. He doesn't mind though, I don't think. Tomorrow will be fun, we get to see if his tastes have changed."
"Like regenerating?" Karen nodded.
"Exactly like that," she said, sliding back into bed. Butters sat down and set Kenny in between them, then turned on his side and watched him. The baby kept his eyes locked on him and he felt a shiver run down his spine; it was almost creepy.
"Is there anything I can do to help him? Like make it go faster or...?" Karen shook her head and turned to face Butters. Her eyes were already closed.
"Just let him sleep and he should be back to normal by like... 10." Butters nodded slowly then looked back to Kenny; he looked about six months old now, rather than a couple weeks.
"Karen?" he asked and heard a quiet mumble in response, "if your mom doesn't... birth him... then... who brings him back?" He asked gently; a part of him was unsure if he wanted to know the answer. However, he never received one; Karen was fast asleep beside him. He sighed heavily and looked down at the little bundle that lay in between them.
Butters kept his eyes on Kenny the entire time. He hated to blink because even in an instant he would change somehow. Kenny was an abnormally small baby, and Butters knew he'd be small as a child as well. How did he grow to be so tall?
Seeing Kenny like this, changing, being reborn and growing up right in front of his eyes was one of the weirdest but most enlightening things he had ever witnessed. Kenny snuffled in his sleep and he ran his hand through the strawberry blonde hair that seemed to sprout of nowhere. He smiled weakly and felt the baby version of Kenny grab his finger in his sleep, as if he knew who he was. Deep down Butters knew in his sleep Kenny was probably aware that Butters was the one reaching for his hand, but he couldn't help but feel his throat tighten as he looked at the innocent child.
And as he watched his slow progression, he realized that, as Life, as Kenny, deep down he was still that innocent child. He always would be. No matter what tried to break him, or shook him to the core, and no matter how perverted or disturbed he may be, he'd still be innocent. Because he only saw the goodness in others, he was almost too trusting, and always wanted to see the bright side to things. There were two exceptions to this idea of course, one being Stuart McCormick and the other being his own parents, but forgetting about them, as Kenny had tried so hard to do, everyone was better in his eyes.
Kenny would see the good in him as well, even though he didn't deserve it. He had been the reason he died, he was the one to blame. He was the wrong one.
Butters must have nodded off with his thoughts, because he woke up to find a five year old version of Kenny nestled tightly in his arms with his thumb near his mouth and his tiny legs curled into his side. His nose sounded congested, as he had always been a victim of seasonal allergies and colds since Butters knew him, and he mumbled quietly in his sleep.
Karen moaned quietly as she stirred and slowly lifted her head. Her hazel eyes appeared tired and heavy as she looked at Butters. She yawned quietly and scooted closer to them, and smiled at the younger version of her brother.
"I don't remember him like this... I was too little. I don't remember much from when I was little."
"You're still little," Karen poked her tongue out at Butters' quiet mumble and ran a finger down Kenny's back. He squirmed n Butters' arms and murmured something incoherently in his little high pitched voice.
"I don't remember hearing him talk without his parka." Butters said truthfully, "he started to wear the hood down in like 6th grade."
"When his voice started to drop," Karen replied, "everyone's a little insecure about something. Didn't help Kevin always told him his voice was higher than mine."
"It wasn't..." Karen shook her head at the slightly questioning tone in Butters' voice.
"Kevin's just a dick." Karen answered, as if that was the solution to all of life's problems, "he's adorable at this age." Butters nodded and felt the younger version of Kenny grab at his shirt, clutching it tight in his small fists.
"Does he usually just sleep?" Karen nodded and yawned in her hand before she sat up and fixed her hair slightly.
"Yeah, but sometimes, rarely, he'll wake up and depending on his age he'll want to do something. I remember once he was in toddler age, like 3 and wanted to play "patty cake" forever... that was his favorite game I guess." Butters smiled softly and ran his hand through the soft, golden locks of hair that fell in Kenny's face. "I'm gonna go make some breakfast and wake Kevin."
"In that order?" Karen nodded and smirked. Butters grinned and leaned back on the pillows, enjoying the comfort of the bed and the feeling of Kenny next to him, even if he was currently five years old.
"No, he'll wake up after I've finished putting everything away. Pancakes okay with you?" Butters nodded and Karen smiled happily before she skipped silently out of he room. Knowing she was so calm about the idea of Kenny dying and the process of him coming back made him feel slightly uneasy. He figured they would have had to get used to the idea considering they grew up with his curse yet he couldn't imagine a time he wouldn't grieve and wouldn't want to watch him progress to his current age. Maybe after the first thousand times it would get a little tiresome, but he doubted that.
Butters wasn't sure what he would do if Kenny woke up. He supposed it depended on what age he was at; currently, he was sure he'd be dragged to play some imagination game. Kenny always loved those rather than video games.
For Butters it was difficult to catch all of the changes. But he could feel him growing in his arms, saw the gradual transition from a little blonde boy with rosy cheeks and almost gender-neutral features, to distinctly male, with more of a jaw line and building muscle. He still looked comfortable and peaceful, curled into his body.
When Karen came back upstairs to tell him breakfast was ready Kenny appeared to be nearly thirteen years old. She hadn't been gone an incredible amount of time, probably a half an hour, and Butters had found it difficult to make himself blink because he was so afraid of missing something.
"Do you want me to bring you some food?" Butters shook his head yet she did so anyway, which caused Kenny's stomach to growl, even in his sleep. Karen tried not to laugh as she brought up her own plate to keep Butters company, and the two whispered as they watched their morning entertainment.
Kenny seemed to have a glow around him as his body adjusted to the changes it had seen thousands of times already. He was also nearly too warm for a normal human being, and much too still. Butters' last worry was forgotten when he felt Kenny turn slightly in his arms and his eyes widened when he swore his legs stretched another six inches. He was nervous about what he would say or how Kenny would act when he woke up. According to his siblings he could be extremely different than the previous Kenny, and that worried him a little. He never noticed any differences like that, only physical. He didn't want to have to get to know a new Kenny; especially one who spoke in Russian.
"What if... what if when he wakes up he's mad at me?" Butters asked. Karen gave him a look and rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her pancakes and looked out the window.
"He won't be," she simply stated after she swallowed her food, "Kenny only gets mad when the people he loves are hurt. He's going to be more upset at the fact you have a concussion," She said, mocking his voice, which didn't work out well for her but made Butters laugh anyway. Her smile went to her hazel eyes and she gently patted her brother's shoulder. Unfortunately Butters knew she was more than likely going to be right. Which wasn't fair at all; he deserved Kenny's anger, yelling... he deserved to be hurt. He didn't deserve his love, or theirs. It just wasn't fair.
Not even the police had picked him up for vehicular manslaughter. Then again the police department was a joke in their town and usually just targeted one family in particular so they could actually do something in a night. He just didn't feel he should have walked away from this without punishment. Without being hated.
"He's beautiful," Butters mumbled, looking down at the young teenager still nestled on his lap. Karen smiled a little and looked at her brother for a moment.
"He sure is something," she said with a little smirk, "I'm glad he has you though." Butters tilted his head.
"Why?"
"Because, before you were a couple, or even a thing, he was kind of a slut." Butters choked on the bite of food and coughed a little before swallowing it down. He looked at Karen with surprise in his eyes; he wasn't quite sure if she knew what Kenny still did to earn the income that kept them comfortable even to this day.
"Well, yeah... but..."
"I just wanted him happy. And I knew he liked you, hell I'm sure everyone and their dog did. But he didn't think he was good enough, you know? So he'd make himself feel better by being a major slut. It worked for awhile, but then mom and I got in the accident and I guess everything changed, for the better, I mean. I guess what I'm trying to say is you make Kenny happy, no matter what, and he thinks he's worth something now. He'll never say that, to me especially, but I know it's true." Butters smiled gently at Karen, set down his plate, and took her hand for a moment.
"Thank you, but he needs to realize he's worth so much more than he thinks. You too." Karen blushed a little and bowed her head, "Come on, you're the best dancer at our school and the best soprano in the choir. You have a lot going for you. You should ask Kenny and Stan if you could be in their band." Karen tilted her head. "They have a show coming up in a couple of weeks that Kyle set up. I know you mentioned you wanted to be in a band."
"I dunno..." she trailed off, beet red and hiding her face. Apparently that was a McCormick trait. Butters sighed and gave her a look before picking up his plate and quickly finished his pancakes.
"Give it some thought?" Karen shrugged, then nodded. She looked at Kenny for a moment then shook his shoulder gently. He moaned softly and turned, now he laid face down on Butters' stomach. He felt Kenny's head nuzzle him, pushing up the cloth slightly and Karen tried not to laugh as Butters blushed in slight embarrassment.
"Kenny, wake up." Karen mumbled, shaking him again. Butters felt his breath on his skin and ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly as he waited for Kenny to stir and look up.
He squeaked when he felt lips and teeth just below his navel, teasing the skin in his secret sweet spot, and his cheeks flamed as he quickly wriggled away from Kenny. She looked at Butters oddly and Kenny shook with laughter as he finally looked up from his spot on the bed.
"Mornin'," he mumbled innocently. Karen lunged at him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, which pulled him from Kenny's lap, onto the bottom half of the bed. "Aw, Kar-bear..." he trailed off, cheeks red in slight embarrassment as she kissed his cheeks and attacked him with hugs only a little sister could perfect.
"That was awful, Kenny, I missed you so much!" She cried. Feet pounded on the stairs and Butters figured Kevin probably heard Kenny's voice. The blonde paled when Kevin picked him up with too much ease and held him upside down by his knees.
"Dammit, Kevin!" Kenny cried, swinging and trying to flail his legs to get out of his brother's grip. Butters laughed as he watched Kenny crunch up and punch Kevin's stomach. "Put me down, ya asshole!" He was carelessly tossed onto the floor and landed with a painful thud onto his back. He glared at his brother as he stood, for some reason looking oddly small beside him. "I missed you too, Karen," he finally said as he sat on the bed. "How long has it been?"
"Three days," Kevin answered as he perched on the corner, looking smugly at Kenny, who scowled in return. Butters rolled his eyes and yearned to touch Kenny yet felt so afraid to act on it. "You see the vigil?" Kenny nodded.
"I was there, you didn't have to do that. It made it way worse for you guys." Kevin shrugged and Karen smiled sheepishly as she looked to Butters. "It was nice though, in a morbid way. To actually see people remember that I died."
"I get ya, ya sick bastard," Kevin said with a smirk. "Not much has happened. Kyle and Stan have been over a couple of times but they weren't handling it well. It's just been a bunch of tears and lack of appetites."
"I hate that part," Kenny mumbled, "knowing everyone is crying because of some stupid curse that should have killed me years ago."
"Well thank God it didn't," Butters finally piped up, causing Kenny to look at him. The strawberry blonde's lips curled in an adoring smile as he gazed affectionately at Butters. The bright blonde looked down with shame in his eyes; he didn't deserve that look.
"You're right," Kenny said softly, with only love in his gaze that Butters couldn't bear to look into. "Lee, are you mad at me?"
Butters' jaw dropped in shock as he heard the question asked with such gentleness. He didn't understand how Kenny thought he was mad at him; it should be the other way around. He should be begging for forgiveness.
"Wh-what?" He asked, dumbfounded. Kenny turned to him with a sad look on his face as he looked at his hands.
"I was just wondering if you were mad, 'cause I mean I threw you pretty hard and am the reason you were in the hospital and then... I'm sorry for all that, I just wanted you safe and... that really fucking hurt." Butters squeezed his eyes shut and felt tears trying to trickle their way out.
"Ken, you died saving me. Everything that happened was my fault and... I'm sorry. I couldn't ever be mad at you, especially for saving my life. I'd rather live with a dislocated shoulder and mild concussion than live without you, any day."
"I feel so special," Kenny teased, "look, you were having a hard time dealing with all the shit that had been thrown at you. You're only human, and hey, I come back... think of me as a human boomerang." Butters smiled softly and finally looked up into Kenny's eyes; he felt love and warmth.
"But it's not fair. I killed you, I ruined that guy's truck. I don't have a car... and everyone is saying "poor Butters". I don't deserve to bet treated nice, I deserve to be yelled at, people to be angry with me, or hate me."
"Why hear all of that from others when you already are convincing yourself what they may say? Your opinion is the most important, and I can't stop you from feeling that way but I sure as hell won't yell or be angry or hate you."
"Well, you should." Kenny scoffed and pulled him in a hug. Butters clutched his shirt and squeezed him tight. He wanted to know he was real, not just a dream, and that he was alive and well. He didn't want to be crazy. He felt his fast heartbeat beneath his fingers and his warm breath ghost over his hair. Butters closed his eyes and absorbed the heat from Kenny, and the calming scent that radiated from him. "I should pay for what I did to you."
"Hon," Kenny said, and Butters' heart instantly melted at the endearment, "you already did. You've paid for what you did by seeing me die and grieving and having to live with that. But the thing about me dying is I come back. If you were in my situation that night, I wouldn't have the chance you have right now to say sorry or to be forgiven. None of that matters to me, what's done is done. The only thing I want to think about from that night is the fact that we're both alive."
Butters let a sob tear through his throat as he heard the words. Kenny sighed gently and tightened his hold on him as he coaxed out the last of Butters' tears and pain. He didn't know how Kenny could be so forgiving, so loving, but he had a point. If the tables were turned Kenny would be... he didn't want to think about the possibilities. Luckily, he didn't have to.
"I'm sorry..." Butters whispered, one final time. Kenny kissed his forehead and ran his hands through his bright blonde hair, and sighed once more.
"Fine, how bout you make it up to me?" Kenny piped up, causing Butters to tilt his head. The dark blonde couldn't help but smile at the mannerism Butters picked up on. "Make me some food. I'm starving."
Butters found himself in a situation feeling like young Amy Pond trying to satisfy the appetite of the eleventh doctor after he first regenerated. Except, he was in a completely opposite situation, where Kenny, instead of being incredibly picky, would eat just about anything as long as it was in front of him. Karen watched from the counter with a twitching eyebrow as he finished off the pancakes, half a box of cereal, two bags of popcorn, an entire package of bacon, and was now staring dismally at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his hand.
"I don't want it," he mumbled after taking another bite. Karen looked at him curiously.
"You love peanut butter though." Kenny made a face and offered her the sandwich.
"It makes me feel sick," he replied, voice thick from the peanut butter as he swallowed it. He then slumped his head on the table and closed his eyes. "I don't feel good." Butters rubbed his back and was suddenly reminded of Kenny's cheesing days. He quickly shoved those memories out of his mind and took the sandwich from his hands and set it on the table.
"Well, you sure aren't kissin' me with that mouth," Karen tilted her head and Kenny mumbled a quiet "mhmm".
"Why?" she asked, Kevin gave her a look yet said nothing as he stole the sandwich. Karen rolled her eyes at him and pulled her lanky legs to her chest.
"I'm allergic to nuts." Kevin choked on the bite of sandwich in his mouth as he burst out laughing. Butters' cheeks heated as he realized why what he said was so funny, and Karen bowed her head and shook with silent laughter. Kenny looked up from the table and winked at Butters. "Not just almonds," he added with a dark blush.
"I'm not even gonna say it," Kevin said, coughing lightly in his arm before he continued eating.
"Maybe that's why you feel sick!" Karen chirped suddenly, sliding off the counter in excitement as she jumped around the kitchen. Butters watched her behave as if her OTP had finally kissed canonically and couldn't help but feel a little confused. "Butters is allergic to them, and you two are so close that you don't like nuts."
Kevin made a comment under his breath and Karen whacked him upside the head. Kenny watched in amazement as Kevin blinked a couple of times and nearly fell on the ground from the impact.
"That's a bad Kevin!" she cried, causing Butters and Kenny to giggle. "I'm serious though, Kenny gets sympathy cramps when I'm going through the Redlight District." Kenny blushed at that and Butters turned to look at the girl, who was still flailing about excitedly, "and it's like how Kyle and Stan wake up because the other one is awake. That kinda thing."
"But I love peanut butter..." Kenny whined with slightly pouted lips. Karen shrugged.
"Tough. Choose peanut butter or Butters."
"That's too difficult," Kenny retorted sarcastically, looking at Butters with a grin. "So, it's either sympathy allergies or I have different taste buds."
"We'll test that at a later date." Karen said, grinning at Butters. "Do you notice any other differences?" Karen asked her brother.
"Well I'm not completely all here yet, I still need one more growth spurt because my legs are killin' me." Butters gazed at Kenny and noticed that same almost glow about him. His face was full of youth and curiosity rather than his usual tired eyes and slight grimace from stress. He liked seeing him happier though, and calmer.
"The only thing I've noticed is you've got a southern accent going," Karen announced quietly, as if she knew that was something Kenny wouldn't want to hear. Of course, it wasn't. His cheeks heated and he grabbed at his throat, as if saying "go away."
"Are you kidding me?" He asked incredulously, Butters couldn't help but nod. Then, he noticed it. The accent wasn't prominent but it would bug Kenny to no end; he was always so self-conscious about his voice.
"It's not like anyone'll notice. Just don't talk like Kevin."
"Hey!" Their oldest brother barked in defense, "I talk just fine!" Karen gave her brother a look and sighed heavily; he was blissfully ignorant.
"Yes, you do, Kevvy." She said with a voice too sugar-coated. The brunette glowered at her yet began to open the cupboards to find some food to eat. The fifteen year old rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly, then turned back to Butters and Kenny.
"-sound like a fuckin' hick. I'm not gonna put up with it. You know Cartman's gonna rag on me, and Kyle probably will too, and it's gonna drive me up a fuck-"
"Kenny, stooooop!" Butters cried, grabbing his hand. The taller boy's chest heaved and he grimaced as he shut his mouth and looked expectantly at Butters, "it's just your voice, don't worry. Besides, I think it's kinda cute. And if you don't like it then I'm sure it'll go away eventually," Kenny huffed in response and looked at Butters dismally. "Like my stutter."
Kenny hummed and looped an arm around Butters as he smiled softly. They locked eyes and for a brief moment forgot about Kevin, who was practically inside the cupboard now looking for pre-made food, and Karen, who watched them with a quiet smile and her phone in hand.
"You really think I can pull off southern drawl?" Kenny asked. Butters laughed gently and nodded as he leaned his head back onto Kenny's shoulder.
"You can pull off anything, darrlin'. Like just the other day I saw you put on your princess dress and somehow totally rocked that."
"I made a hot princess." Butters rolled his eyes yet nodded as he locked their fingers together; Kenny's long, skinny fingers were cool against his warm, shorter and thicker fingers; the calm to his storm.
"Well your power was that you were sooooo cute, so... I guess so, yeah."
"Hey, I was fuckin' adorable."
"Still are, babe." Kenny hummed happily and gently kissed Butters, as if he was unsure if Butters wanted it. He deepened the kiss, to answer Kenny's question, and felt his eyes sting as he cherished the feel of Kenny kissing him.
He was lucky. It wasn't everyday someone fell in love with a person who could come back to life. Hell, it wasn't everyday someone died and resurrected, repeatedly at that. But he had Kenny, who was right next to him, kissing and loving him. And maybe he felt like he didn't deserve it, and maybe he still felt an overwhelming sense of shame and anger at himself, but Kenny didn't deserve to deal with that. Not after dying for him. Kenny deserved to be loved as he was loved, and to feel that sense of security. Butters knew he'd die for Kenny, but Kenny would never let him so he couldn't ever owe him his life. So all he could do was hold him tight and put as much passion as he could into his ministrations as an almost electric pulse ran between them, each and every time they massaged their lips together. It was the little things, Butters decided, that would help him pay Kenny back. And maybe someday his debt could be paid.