Chapter 7: Time Out
A few moments into the night, as the dawn light begins to sneak meanly through the curtains, her mind brings up vestiges of logic that disappear again when he kisses her. Judgment blurs once again, intoxicated by the smell of his skin and his large hands claiming every corner of her body.
There is a latent voice inside her that gains strength as Gojou loses it, as his eyes begin to close, more and more tired of continually making her his. Something that reminds her of who he is and what he is capable of, what he has done to her and how much she has suffered at his expense. Yet, when she finds herself with her eyes open, and him asleep in her arms, stroking his hair as she hears his soft breathing brushing against her chest, she finds she lacks the strength to let go.
The magnetism that binds her to him becomes undeniable and at the end, when he sleeps peacefully, hugging her with both hands, Kasumi once again feels like a deluded woman who fell into the same trap that was set for her five years ago.
She begins to wonder if this is nothing more than a refuge for him, a way to get away from all the death and misery he had encountered in the school cemetery. Just as it was for her the day Isao died in front of her eyes. And even though the feeling is all too familiar, Kasumi knows that sex can be a consoling and convenient comfort for this kind of pain.
Gojou's words of love and latent need have not gone unnoticed by her, nor the tender and sweet way he kissed her after each of her orgasms. But it's not something she can fully trust, the truth is that she finds it hard to believe Satoru's words, no matter how sincere they sound.
Her cell phone rings, and the bell doesn't disturb him at all. He has fallen sound asleep and Miwa knows that must be Ijichi, waiting for her in a car outside the school.
She subtly slips between the sheets, taking extreme care not to wake him as she dreads the conversation that awaits her after this; which she considers a huge stumble in her quest to banish the feelings she still has for Satoru.
She slowly tiptoes around the room, picking up her crumpled clothes on the floor and gets dressed as quickly as she can, she grabs the doorknob still tucking her blouse under her skirt and before closing it she stands still watching Megumi's face from the other side, with a cup of coffee over his right hand.
Kasumi turns to the bed where Gojou sleeps completely naked, her face paling second by second, then returns her face to Megumi's, whom she had never seen so flushed.
Embarrassed, Kasumi closes the door behind her and stammers nervously, buttoning her shirt stupefyingly and says the first thing that pops into her head. Her face quickly starting to turn red from neck to ears.
"It's not what it looks like!"
He clears his throat, evidencing his discomfort, averts his gaze and tries to keep his voice steady.
"It's none of my business, Miwa-san," he says, resuming his walk to the library, mentally regretting it as he hears Kasumi's footsteps behind him.
"I-I don't want you to get the wrong impression," comes out of her mouth as verbiage, as if at the same time trying to convince herself. "I'm sorry, Fushiguro-san..."
"Miwa, you are still my sempai... You don't owe me any explanations," he replies, stopping his steps. "I came to tell you that Ijichi is waiting for you outside, since you are not answering the messages, I thought you might have fallen asleep."
"Yes..." she answers with her eyes glued to the floor, "Thank you very much for your and Tsumiki-san's hospitality."
"You think... to leave without saying goodbye?"
Megumi's question takes her by surprise and she lifts her chin, eyes wide. He himself feels a little disgruntled, possibly Gojou's confession has made him feel a little sorry for him at this moment.
"Say goodbye to Gojou-san for me, please."
Megumi watches Miwa's face wither as the words leave her mouth, however, he nods and avoids asking many more questions.
"Have a good trip," he finally tells her and sees her bow to him one last time before leaving.
He sighs, then inhales the scent that has permeated his pillow; it is the distinctive smell of Kasumi's hair. Without realizing it, he smiles with his eyes closed and drags his fingers over the sheets in search of her petite naked body. He frowns as he doesn't come across the soft touch of her skin and opens his eyes to find a completely empty bed. Puzzled, he sits up on the mattress and surveys the dimly lit room and quickly realizes that Kasumi's clothes are no longer on the floor, along with his. But before he comes to the conclusion he fears most, he gets up completely naked on his way to the bathroom, knocks a couple of times, calls her name and then opens the door to find himself in the mirror.
This has never happened to him before. He is always the first to leave after a fortuitous encounter and doesn't know the feeling of abandonment that comes from finding himself in an empty room after having had his heart ripped out of his chest in front of a woman.
Suddenly a memory re-inhabits his mind, that day when Shoko found him at the moment he kissed Kasumi in the infirmary, after which she fled from the city, and from his grasp. But this time the uncertainty is greater, as he had naively let himself believe that with one night of passion he could rebuild the bridge that collapsed between the two of them.
There is a certain embarrassment in putting on the clothes she so desperately took from him the night before, a sort of humiliation that grows as he sees the marks on his wrinkled shirt and pants that he is fortunately able to hide under his uniform jacket.
As he leaves Kasumi's room, he surveys the surroundings still knowing that she would not be able to completely hide her innate energy, from his six eyes. However, a small glimmer of hope doesn't die and he walks around in her search until he stumbles upon Megumi, while reading a book sitting in the library.
"She already left," he tells him, without taking his eyes off the page he's reading, "She asked me to... say goodbye to you for her... She was in a hurry," he adds, although not something he has heard Miwa say, as if trying to comfort someone who usually doesn't need such details.
Satoru smiles to himself, with some bitterness. Then he walks over to Megumi to sit across from him.
"How long ago did she leave?"
"An hour ago," he answers, glancing sideways at him, wondering if he's mentally calculating the route of the vehicle that takes her to the nearest station to return to Kyoto. "And if you're thinking of following her... first think that maybe she left because she needs space."
"Why would she need it?"
"I don't want to know."
"But, you know, I thought everything was clear last night."
Megumi covers his eyes with his right hand and strokes his eyebrows, cursing himself again, this time for having opened his mouth wider than he should.
"I really don't want to know."
"Did she say anything before she left?" Gojo asks, as if ignoring Megumi's plea.
He sighs, closes the book he was trying to read and leaves it on the table thinking about Kasumi's words.
"She said... 'it's not what it looks like'."
Satoru lets out a light sardonic laugh that dies halfway down his throat.
"It is exactly what it looks like..." he replies, crossing his arms, beginning to feel the slight indignation at being denied. "I don't know what happened from last night to this morning... Did I do something wrong?"
he asks to himself and Megumi is not sure whether to answer his question.
Satoru mentally retraces his steps, looking for some answer to the question he just asked himself. Then he goes back to the moment when he chased her through the corridors of the Academy as she ran away from him, and then to the cemetery where he was looking for some word from someone who no longer exists.
"I don't know... Maybe... she thought things through more clearly," Megumi whispers.
"How much does she need to think?" He wonders and the other decides not to answer, since the answer is obvious to him. "Megumi, what would you do in my place?"
There is a certain sadness in Satoru's tone, one that makes Megumi straighten his back. He decides to pay more attention to him now, as this seems to really matter to him.
"The whole arranged marriage thing must make things a little more complicated than they should be. If it weren't for that...I'd tell you to be honest and try to improve the situation, make amends for whatever it is you've done."
"I haven't mentioned that to her yet."
"You haven't?" He questions puzzled. "Is there anything else?"
"Don't be so intuitive or I'll start to think you've learned to read minds too."
"Then there is something else."
Satoru sighs.
"Where to start? Well, the clan is aware of Kasumi's existence. Apparently they've been aware from the beginning. They've been monitoring my every move since for some reason they don't fully trust their leader."
"I wonder why that is..." he replies, arching an eyebrow. "Then that means Miwa-san is being watched by the clan."
"I don't think they are right now, they're still waiting for an answer from me. The problem is... If I don't accept one of the candidates they could threaten Kasumi's life and that of her siblings. And if... in the crazy case that I decide to propose marriage and she accepts... she must receive the protection of the clan and change her life as she knows it to live in the temple," turns again to see Megumi's face and feels a shiver run through his body. "Shit, is so weird to see you so similar to your father, still can't get used to it."
"I don't know if you've considered this option, but... if you're really so..." he can't reproduce the word he's thinking of, "you could leave the clan. You wouldn't be the first one to do so. If it were me... I would."
"You're more like him than I thought," he replies, his smile widening. "And if it were just me I would do it without hesitation, but... I could become an enemy of the clan and still put Kasumi in danger. Your father left the clan and had you to negotiate with the same clan he left, probably so they would stop chasing him."
"I'm not so sure about that anymore."
"You're not?"
Megumi denies.
"A few years ago someone came to see me, Shiu Kong... He said he needed a shaman for a job and offered me a lot of money. Since things were a bit tight here... I decided to listen to him. He told me that we already knew each other but it was logical that I didn't remember him, since it happened when I was just a baby."
"That name sounds familiar."
"He worked with my father... before he got married and after my mother died. According to him... my father went on to lead an ordinary life when he married."
"Well, to tell you the truth, it's not the first time I've heard something similar. I had the... opportunity... to meet some of your father's old companions and one of them mentioned that Toji Zen'in was wiped off the map after his first marriage. Your father was a bastard, Megumi, but he wasn't a cheater," he says, about to burst out laughing.
"The point is," Megumi lets go, beginning to blush, "that's one option. And the other is... to marry someone else and forget everything."
Gojou doesn't seem to hear him at all, and if he could really read his mind he would come across a sudden question that came to him without even realizing it, "Why the hell is Kasumi taking birth control pills?".
Fortunately for Kasumi, Ijichi had a couple of things to do in the city and thanks to that she didn't feel so guilty for taking up his time that morning. After dropping her off in front of the train station she made a quick call to Kano to assure him that everything was fine and to come pick her up in a couple of hours at Kyoto's main station. She omitted the more lurid details of her encounter with Naoya and his ominous threats, still uneasy at the thought of that situation escalating and becoming embroiled in some new unnecessary fight. Wondering at the same time if she should put Kamo on notice of Naoya's plans, if he doesn't already know.
Certainly Naoya must be feeling very confident right now to threaten more members of the Jujutsu school, as if he didn't fear another visit from Maki Zen'in. But finding herself under the protection of shamans far more powerful than she is again makes her feel minuscule as she did in high school.
The train ride serves to make her think more carefully about everything that happened the night before, wondering how on earth she could have fallen so deeply and so quickly into Gojou's hands. It seems that his confession of love repeats over her ears again and again like a broken record, thinking that he must not even understand the true meaning of what he professes.
Not even a week has passed since her return and already he has succeeded, despite her constant denials that now seem so empty to her.
The truth is that a part of her was dying to kiss him again, and this certainty makes her feel even weaker than before. Because now that she is a full-fledged woman, she should know with certainty that most of the things that come out of Gojou Satoru's mouth are nonsense.
As she arrives at the station she widens her smile so that Kano doesn't notice that things aren't going well and is relieved to know that no other strange incidents have occurred at home. After a short ride she sighs again with relief at the sight of the walls of her home, even though it is empty since the children are at school.
Given the chores of the previous night, Kasumi is dying to take a long shower and discovers to her horror when she looks in the mirror naked that Gojou has left no place unmarked on most of her body.
All she wants now is to put on a clean pair of pajamas and sink under the covers to sleep and forget for a moment all the shame that fills her face with modesty. Scolding herself for having enjoyed so much what happened between her and Satoru. But as she gets out of the shower she discovers she has three missed calls and hears a loud knock against the front door.
Alerted, she leaves her room as Kano opens the door and is reassured to hear her younger brother's gawking tone.
"Momo-sempai," the boy sighs as the little blonde shakes him out of her way, heading straight for Kasumi.
"I can't believe it!" She yells indignantly and Kasumi wonders how the hell she found out so quickly what happened. "You won't believe what just happened to me, I'm so outraged! How dare they!"
Puzzled, Kasumi looks at the particularly tight dress she's wearing, very different from what she's used to. A hunch compels her to speak.
"The Zen'in Clan?"
"How did you know? Were you also taken by force?"
Knowing that she couldn't talk about what really happened, Kasumi takes Momo by the arm and leads her to her room to close the door, leaving Kano behind with a greeting hanging from his lips.
"Yes, yesterday... What did Naoya tell you?" she asks when they are finally alone.
"Wanna know what he told me? You won't believe it. I still don't believe it, that jerk! After what they did with Mai they have the guts to take us there and...! That fucker!"
!Did he ask you to have a child with him?"
"What?! No! The idiot took me out of the house threatening my dog's life and when I was in front of him he just said... "bring her back when she grows tits". That piece of shit... Wait... Did he tell you to have...?!
Before Momo's words leave the bedroom, Kasumi covers her mouth and lets a plea show through her face.
"Kano doesn't know yet," she whispers to her and she seems to start to calm down.
Stunned, Momo sits on the bed trying to make some sense of Kasumi's words.
"Did he lose his mind after Maki-san's beating? You've got to be kidding... You don't think he means it, do you?" she asks worriedly as Kasumi sits down heavily beside her. "What do you plan to do about it?" she tells her, suddenly relieved that she doesn't fit Naoya's standards.
"There's not much I can do, so I think I'll just wait for Fushiguro-san and Gojou to sort it out," she replies without much thought.
As the words leave her mouth and the room falls into an awkward silence for a few eternal seconds, Kasumi realizes she has made a mistake.
"Did you just say Gojou?" She quickly questions in a tone that chills her blood and Kasumi's lips twist, "Gojou fucking Satoru? The same Gojou Satoru who took advantage of an innocent eighteen year old Miwa? That Gojou Satoru?!"
"Y-yes..."
"You saw him again!? You saw him again, didn't you?" she questions, pointing her finger at her, her brow furrowed. Kasumi's petrified face is like an open book after so many years. "You saw him!" she says and suddenly Kasumi's cheeks turn pink. "You kissed him, didn't you? you kissed!" she opens her big blue eyes, as if she had found evidence in her friend's expression. "No, something else happened... didn't it? No, oh, no, Kasumi. No, no, no. Tell me that's not what I'm thinking. Tell me you didn't do it!"
With a pitiful whimper, Kasumi sinks her face between her legs, hidden in her hands.
"I don't know how it happened!" she squeaks as she hides her expression.
"How can you say you don't know!"
"It was an accident!"
"Oh, sure, yes, that happens. How can I forget the last time I fell naked on a..."
"Momo!"
"What? It wasn't an accident, Kasumi. What the hell? How many days he's been out of prison and he's already managed to sleep with you? Again!"
"I don't know, I don't know! It was all so confusing. He... he came looking for me while I was finishing a mission and he's been by my side for the past few days," Kasumi sighs, her face saddened. "He looked so... lost. I didn't have the heart to send him away. He hadn't even slept and I offered him a place to stay. He helped me get out of the Zen'in temple and last night he looked... so sad... I don't know what exactly happened but it just happened!"
"Kasumi... did you forget what he did to you? The state he left you in last time?"
She denies, unable to hold her gaze.
"I haven't forgotten," she answers softly.
"Are you... sorry it happened again?"
They both look at each other for a moment in which Kasumi is speechless and simply denies with half-open lips.
"I-I don't know..."
Momo lets out a heartfelt sigh.
"I watched you cry for days over that creep and just because he's had a hard time the past few days doesn't mean you should be his... private form of therapy. I don't want to see you go through the same thing again, with the same guy. Some people don't change, Kasumi. And he's probably one of them. Are you aware of that?"
"I am..." Kasumi answers with more determination in her voice. "It was a mistake... it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it happen."
"Well, I'm not one to judge you... but I will on this occasion, you're an idiot, Kasumi. How can you let yourself fall into the same games of that depraved guy?" she reproaches, crossing her arms. "If I thought you were capable of having a relationship like that without any sentimental ties I wouldn't be so upset with you. But we already know you're not that kind of person."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, if you could do the whole friends with benefits thing."
"Do you think that's what he's after?"
"What else can it be?"
"I don't know, he's said a lot of things that I don't know if I believe..."
"He told you he wants a serious relationship? Are you kidding me? He's the leader of the Gojou clan! Do you know what something like that means? Besides... you should know how the clans work. What they did with Mai and Maki... Kamo's father cheated on his wife and put his illegitimate son in front of the clan as their future leader. Didn't you ever think how humiliating that was for his wife? That's the life you can aspire to if you even consider the possibility of having a relationship with that cheater. Above all, you should know better than anyone that this guy has no loyalty."
"I know... Everything you're saying I've already considered at some point... Even in his absence, you know? I mean, what did I expect when I started that relationship with him? That we were going to get married and live a quiet life? I don't know what I was thinking."
"You weren't thinking, and you didn't trust your friends to think for you while you were losing your mind over him."
"Well, thank you for thinking for me now..."
"That's what friends are for," she replies and holds out her hand, Kasumi is quick to intertwine her fingers with hers. "Did you at least have a good time?"
"I can't say I didn't, unfortunately."
"That' s what womanizers have, it's like a power to woo women. So... what are you going to do?"
"For the moment I just want to concentrate on my next contract. I don't even want to think about it."
"Then I have some news that will distract you. Not only did I come to tell you about what happened with that pesky clan, Utahime-sensei sent me to talk to you. There's a whole fuss... We have a meeting in the capital, a meeting with a group of shamans."
"In Osaka? What's going on?"
"I don't know, but I guess we'll find out soon enough. Utahime is expecting us at the airport to catch a plane at midnight. So get your things ready, we're leaving tonight."
He has always found it hard to sit still, and although he has become familiar with Kasumi's constant rejection, he has never felt this way before. Finding himself alone in the morning has been a completely new experience, and the bitter taste won't go away, despite having put seven sugar cubes in his tea. Anyone would say he's completely ruined it, but Gojou still thinks he could put three more cubes in it.
He doesn't have his cell phone and his fingers itch, wishing he could call Kasumi and clear the matter up, even though Megumi has advised him to give her some space to think things over. Even he should be doing that at that moment, questioning whether this attachment that is beginning to feel unhealthy won't end up completely ruining Kasumi's life.
He now begins to believe that he has sinned of optimism, Kasumi is not likely to even accept a marriage proposal from him and the proposal itself weighs too heavily on him. He doesn't fully know the usual rules of courtship, but even he knows from a couple of romantic movies that there are a few steps to take before marrying a woman.
The leap is so big that he's afraid to scare her off with the very idea, if with one night she ended up running on the sly.
After finishing his tea and getting bored watching the students unsuccessfully trying to touch Maki in another training session, he decides to wander around the campus again.
Sitting, watching the sunset, he again encounters the shadowed face of the one who, to anyone else without his six eyes, would be just another shaman. The half-curse, half-human rests staring out into the wasteland that has become the city of Tokyo.
"We haven't been introduced," says Satoru, walking slowly up to him, and Choso doesn't even turn to look at his face.
"We already knew each other," he says, remembering the incident on the train tracks.
"I know, it was a surprise to find you fighting on our side."
"On my brother's side."
"Yes, Megumi already explained all that to me. Pretty twisted business... but as long as you're strong, it's nice to have you here."
"Tonight, will the girl be back?"
"The girl? You mean Kasumi?"
"Mhm... if so, I'll have to change rooms."
"Oh... did you hear that? Well, I'd say I'm sorry, but the truth is the least you deserve after what happened."
"I don't need an apology and I won't give you one either, if that's what you're expecting from me."
"Not at all. And don't worry, I don't think she'll come today... By the way, I understand that your only link here was Yuuji, what do you plan to do now?"
"Protect the rest of my siblings. That's all I have to do."
"That's all? There's nothing else you want to do?"
"What I want doesn't really matter, they're the most important thing to me now and I won't... I won't fail them again."
Satoru is silent, thinking of Choso's words and the conviction in his empty eyes. The devotion lingering in his words only reminds him that this is the kind of love he himself should profess, but he does not and his selfishness becomes more and more evident. Realizing that truly his stay at the seal has not made him mature as much as he thought it had.
"Maybe I should do the same."
Choso turns to look at his face for the first time, but Satoru stands up as he notices the same vehicle Ijichi was driving the day before coming down the road, pats his back as if they were friends and gives him a smile.
"Yuuji would like you to do something for yourself, besides taking care of others. Keep that in mind, maybe you could do everything he didn't have the chance to do."
Without waiting for an answer, he walks quietly to the stairs that Ijichi must be climbing at that moment. However, it is difficult to control the feeling that makes his anxiety grow.
When he reaches the top of the stairs, he sees the school assistant raise his chin to face him, although he does so only for a fleeting moment. Then he lowers his face, adjusts his glasses in an obvious attempt to hide his expression and continues climbing, looking at him out of the corner of his eye and mentally rehearsing something that Satoru senses.
"Uhm..." he stammers as he reaches him, settles the knot of his tie over his throat and seems to suddenly remember that he has a bag in his hands. "I bought what you asked for..." he says nervously and hands over the bag, but Gojou makes no attempt to look inside.
"What is it, Ijichi, did something happen?" He asks, imagining that Kasumi has told him not to come back to Kyoto, to stop chasing her, to disappear from her life, or something similar.
"Well..." he begins, scratching the back of his neck, gathering the courage it takes to raise his face to look at Gojou-san's. "Your mother... went after me at the store while I was buying that for you..."
Gojou raises his eyebrows, now understanding why Ijichi is shaking like a leaf and his words sound so choppy. He takes a peek inside the bag Ijichi handed him and finds a small letter inside.
"Did she leave this for me?"
"Yes... She said... She said when you get a new cell phone to call her."
"Did Yumiko threaten you?"
"You could say yes... S-she told me to... do what you asked me to do; to keep your cell phone and use your bank accounts so the rest of the clan will think you're still in Tokyo, if you plan to... leave town. Your mother is a... scary... woman... Ah! Did I mention to call her? Please, Gojou-san, don't forget that."
He wishes he could ignore Ijichi's prayer, however, he knows that Yumiko would not hesitate to hand him over to the clan if he decided to ignore her as well. After taking the new cell phone out of its package and turning it on, he discovers that the number has already been saved. He turns to the assistant and he laughs sheepishly, hiding his face again.
"I'll leave you alone to talk to her," he says, bows slightly and leaves on his way to what's left of the academy.
Satoru glances at the default apps on his cell phone and fiddles with the device on his fingers for a while as he spins around, walking in circles on the polished stone path beneath his feet. When he finally gathers the necessary energy, he makes the call and hears the ringtone ring over his ear just a couple of times before she answers.
"Finally," she tells him in an impatient tone, probably having been waiting for this call from the very moment she left a trembling Ijichi at the store where he bought the cell phone.
"You caught me, I thought it would take them a little longer."
"Do you think you're the only one who has an extra cell phone? Son, you're not the only one who escapes the Gojou clan," whe says with a chuckle. "Joking aside, be careful what you're doing. If it had been someone else who discovered your little trick... that poor guy wouldn't be having a very good time right now."
"I'll be more careful. Are they watching me?"
"No, they're a little busy right now. You're lucky, there's a little matter that's keeping them busy. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You have to attend a meeting in Osaka as a representative of the clan. I'll send everything to your assistant at the school in Tokyo, including the suitcase you forgot."
"A meeting? What's it about?"
"I guess you're not aware of it yet, but since everything came to light and now ordinary people know about our existence... we've had a couple of attacks. Apparently there is an extremist anti-shaman group, can you believe it? Anyway, to sum up the situation some have disappeared during their last missions and a large group of shamans have organized a meeting in the capital to decide how we will deal with this, you know... now that there are no big shots, everyone can participate."
"Self-convened shamans? Sounds interesting...could use a distraction right now."
"I'm glad you're taking it this way, I was afraid you'd end up thinking something crazy like abdicating. You represent your clan well, Satoru. We'll be waiting for updates upon your return."
N/A: You probably think this chapter was short, since it's half as long as the previous one. But I feel like it took me a good time to finish it. The next scene in Osaka will be very long and I don't think I could write it without ending up with a 30 page chapter. I preferred this one to end up being more of a transition. I promise the next chapter will be much more interesting and I'm going to include a lot of new characters. I'm afraid the plot is going a little slow, but this story is going to be a little longer than Disenchantment and I don't want to rush out chapters just to be compliant. So I'll take the time to make sure the whole scenario is laid out nicely for these two. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and look forward to the next one as much as I do. See you later!