Idk-bruh - Irondad fic ideas #2
Have y'all seen the "Actors on Actors" interview series? (There was recently a great one with Andrew Garfield and Zendaya)
Fic idea is ^ that exact format, but it's "Heroes on Heroes" and the whole video is just two heroes complimenting each other, asking each other questions they've always wondered about, recalling anecdotes from fights, tossing around inside jokes and old ongoing arguments, etc.
Bonus points if the heroes are Ironman and Spider-Man, and Tony acts like a dad the entire time.
Bonus points pt. 2 if the heroes are one of those two + with anyone else, and the anyone else teases them about the father-son relationship the entire time.
Heroes on Heroes
[As the lights come up, we see three men seated with their chairs in a triangle formation. They are all wearing business casual, but only one of them seems comfortable. Tony Stark, Iron Man, is on the right, looking a little resigned, a professional half-smile on his face. He looks completely relaxed in his gray suit, button up, and tie, and his posture is casual. Across from him, looking excited but anxious, is Peter Parker. His identity as Spiderman is relatively new information, and he hasn't done many interviews since that knowledge became public. He's wearing dark slacks with a sport coat over a white button-up, which is open at the top. He looks older than his actual age, but not nearly as comfortable as the older superhero. In between the two well-known public figures is Scott Lang, who is helpfully wearing an Ant-man tie with his suit, which seems to be itching uncomfortably. He has a big smile pasted on his face, and is holding a stack of white cards.]
Scott Lang: Welcome, everyone! I know, this is unusual for this show to have three superheroes up here instead of two, but this is an unusual pair. Unfortunately I won't be answering any questions of my own today, just leading the discussion.
[Stark raises an eyebrow at Lang, and exchanges a glance with Parker, both of their mouths quirking slightly at some inside joke.]
Lang: You might be wondering why this interview is happening in a more traditional format than the two heroes asking each other questions. An Iron Man/Spiderman interview has been the leading request for months now, ever since the Batman/Superman interview finally happened. While that one was basically just a bunch of cryptic exchanges, the problem with this set of heroes was a little closer to home. Isn't that right, Tony?
Tony Stark [looking bored, but not actually annoyed]: Get on with it Lang. We've got reservations.
Peter Parker: Where are we eating, Mr. Stark?
Stark: You'll find out, kid. Let's knock this out first.
Lang: So… yeah. Usually these interviews are the heroes asking each other a bunch of questions to get to know each other better, which has been a really fun format. I mean, who can forget the Black Widow/Green Lantern interview? Or the Ant-man/Nightwing one? [He pauses to smile widely at the camera]
Stark: Lang.
Lang: Oh, sorry. But the reason this took so long to schedule was because these two particular heroes are already pretty familiar with each other. Wouldn't you say that's right, Peter?
Parker: Well, considering Mr. Stark's been mentoring me in his lab and as a superhero for like three years now, yeah. I'd say we know each other pretty well.
Lang: That's fantastic! Just, wow. But our viewers still have questions, so I'm here to ask those, even if you don't have any for each other.
[He pauses, smiling in turn at each superhero. Parker is perched on the edge of his chair, looking ready for a question. Stark is propping his cheek up with an elbow on his chair, and uses his other hand the gesture Lang to continue.]
Lang: Tony, I think we have a good idea of why you created Iron Man, but what was it that has kept you at it all these years? I mean, it's got to wear on you.
Stark: Are you calling me old?
Lang [looking nervous all of a sudden]: Uh, no, of course not, I just-
Stark: Relax, Lang. I am old. And probably the only reason I'm still suiting up regularly is because of this guy over here. [He nods towards the younger superhero.] Someone has to keep an eye on him, or he'll either accidentally take over the world, or die trying to save a cat or something.
Parker [rolling his eyes]: Oh, c'mon, Mr. Stark. You know neither of those are true. And you do it because you like the thrill. You enjoy the missions.
Stark: Keep tellin' yourself that, kid.
Lang: Okay. Uh, let's move on. Peter, how do you feel it has shaped you as a superhero to have Mr. Stark to look up to and get advice from?
Parker: Oh, you know. Pretty much anything he did, I just made sure to do the opposite, and things have turned out pretty good for me so far.
Stark [sitting up a little and shooting a glare, or possibly a smirk, at the younger hero]: Why you little-
Lang: Let's make sure we're using viewer-friendly language, Mr. Stark! [he laughs nervously] Um, for the next question, Peter, what would you say has been one of the biggest perks of having your powers?
Parker: Um, I like being able to help people. Having been the one needing help a lot of my life until I got my abilities, I really love being able to step in and make things better for the little guy.
Lang: And what would you say is one of the harder parts of your job?
Parker [fidgeting]: Um, the opposite. When I can't help people, I guess. When I can't save them. [The younger hero looks pretty affected, and Lang clears his throat, switching his focus to Stark, who is unsubtly glaring at him.]
Lang [voice cracking a little]: Um, Tony? The viewers want to know what your workout routine looks like.
Stark: Really? That's what they're asking? Uh, for cardio I box, usually, or we spar. If I don't stay on top of my game there, Nat really enjoys wiping the floor with me. Weights twice a week when we're not on missions.
Lang: Nat. That's the Black Widow for viewers who may be unaware. [He straightens up and puffs his chest out just a little.] Peter, what about you? What's your workout routine?
Stark: Don't ask him. He doesn't even have to work out to stay in shape. I swear, hanging out with the super soldiers and this kid is giving me a complex.
Parker [sputtering]: I work out!
Stark: Doing what, kid? Bench-pressing city buses?
Parker: I swing, like a lot. It's hard work!
Stark: Yeah, it sounds like it, with all the whooping you do during it.
Parker: I do not "whoop."
Stark: Sure you don't.
Lang: Uh, if I may… Along with that, do you find that eating a certain way helps you stay in shape so you're ready for all these world-ending disasters?
Stark [looking bored again]: Laying it on a little thick, don't you think? And just normal stuff. I like a good steak, but I try to eat vegetarian a lot, and get as many good foods in as I can. Of course it makes a difference.
Parker: Smoothies. You drink smoothies. That's about it, as far as health food, Mr. Stark.
Stark: We've talked about this. I can fit more nutrition in one smoothie than you usually do in a week of fast food and pizza, so you don't get to judge how I-
Parker: It's not my fault I need so many calories! Do you know how many of your disgusting smoothies I'd have to drink in a day to get what I need, it would-
Stark: Would it kill you to drink one? I just want to see a few vegetables on your plate every once in a while. Just because you have a super metabolism doesn't mean you should-
Lang [looking flustered, interrupting]: Heeeey! Um, let's maybe move on to the next question. Peter, the viewers are curious if your powers might be inheritable. Have you done any research on that, and come up with any hypotheses? [He squints at the paper.] Is that right? Hypothesises? Hypothesae?
Parker [obviously nonplussed]: Um…
Stark: Pretty personal there, Lang, especially since he's technically still a minor. Let's skip that one.
Lang: Oh. What about you, then? [He stares expectantly at Stark]
Stark [staring blankly at Lang]: Are you asking if my Iron Man abilities are inheritable?
Lang: Oh. I guess that doesn't… doesn't make too much sense.
Stark: No, not really. But if you mean my ability to create the kind of tech I do, then I guess so.
[Lang beams at his answer, though he still looks confused, then tilts his head, looking back and forth between the two superheroes.]
Lang: You guys aren't uh, like related or anything, right? Because you do kinda look alike, and I know you've said Peter here can keep up with you in your lab, right? I swear that was one of the questions… [He starts rifling through his papers, while Stark looks quizzically at him.]
Stark: Unfortunately, no. You think I'd keep that a secret?
[Parker just shakes his head and smiles slightly at Stark while Lang looks at the next card.]
Lang: Peter, you aren't officially an Avenger just yet, right?
Parker [sighing]: My aunt won't let me. She said we'd talk about it after I graduate. [He looks unimpressed, but Stark looks satisfied, somehow.]
Lang: Are there any other new members, perhaps, waiting in the wings? That's not a question from me, because obviously I'd be in the know, but from the public.
Parker: Well, I guess there's-
Stark: Buh-buh-buh-buh! Stop talking, junior. Spoilers! [Then, to Lang:] If you're in the know as much as you say you are, you know you should have thrown that question out yourself. Next!
[Lang shuffles through the cards, looking nervously for a safer question.]
Lang : Peter, what made you decide it was best to keep your identity a secret for so long, when none of the other big superheroes have secret identities?
[Stark gives Parker a look, raising his eyebrows, but Parker shakes his head, and prepares to answer.]
Parker: Well, I wasn't a big superhero, you know? I was just a little guy, doing little things, and I wasn't an adult, obviously, and… I just wanted to try to live my life normally, you know? And I didn't want any bad guys I made mad coming after my family or friends. I didn't have a good way to protect them at the time, unless I was with them.
Lang: That makes sense. [He seems to realize something.] Hey, how did that work with all the minor versus adult stuff? [He looks at Stark] Whoooooaaaa, did you know he was a minor when you recruited him for that Germany stuff? Because-
Stark: Dude, Lang. They're going to have to edit this out. Watch your mouth, Ant-guy. And yes, I did know Peter was a minor. It's all kind of complicated, and it's all been worked out, but Germany is not a public topic, according to like seventeen government agencies. [He raised his eyes and voice to the side.] Make sure that gets taken out.
Lang [looking flustered and sheepish]: Uh, I … just a minute, I don't know what-
Stark: Hey. You've got this. You're doing fine. Before you ask a question, though, give it a moment's thought, okay? And don't stray from the cards again, yeah? The legal department's at least vetted those.
Lang: Right. Okay. [He takes a deep breath and picks another card.] So, Tony, is it easier to work with Spider-Man, when it's obvious that he lacks in experience, and you probably worry about him a little bit, or easier to work with more experienced heroes who you're maybe not as familiar with?
[Parker looks a little put out at this question, but Stark shoots him a quelling look and he sits back and takes a deep breath.]
Stark: I'd choose to work with Pete any day of the week. Not only can we anticipate what the other is going to do, but he's crazy-overpowered and ridiculously talented. Great instincts, most of the time, and he's fantastic at coming up with off-the-cuff plans that usually work.
Parker[obviously flustered at the praise]: Uh, yeah. I'd rather work with him too.
Lang [glancing back and forth between the two]: Uh… yeah. Okay, then. Next question. Um… What do you like to do when you're not superhero-ing? [He looks at Parker expectantly.]
Parker: Is that for me? Uh… with Tony, or by myself?
Lang: Either?
Parker: Well, I guess I like hanging out with my friends. I do Acadec, uh, I mean Academic Decathlon, and we still like to build Legos and have movie nights and normal friend stuff. But otherwise, I'd say most of my free time is spent in the lab with Tony.
[Lang looks surprised, but then remembrance floods his face.]
Lang: Oh, that's right. You actually intern with him, too, don't you? Hey, how many times have you guys blown stuff up? [This is directed at Parker, but Stark answers.]
Stark [smirking]: Accidentally, or on purpose?
Parker [whining]: Tony. [Then to Lang:] I plead the fifth.
Stark [rolling his eyes]: That doesn't work in interviews, Pete. Just in court.
[Parker sighs and folds his arms over his chest, obviously still choosing not to answer.]
Lang: We only have time for one more question. [He looks down at his papers.]
Lang: Peter, you first. If you could go back, and somehow avoid the circumstances that gave you your powers, and just live an ordinary life, would you do it?
Parker: Well, some days, I think I would have said yes. Sometimes it's really hard, and I just want to be normal. And I've seen a lot of things I'd rather not see. Sometimes it's been a little too much, and I have wished I could be a normal teenager. [He exchanges a glance with Stark, who looks a little sad, and raises his eyebrows minutely at the boy. He doesn't seem to be paying attention to anyone else around them.]
Parker [glances back at Lang]: But then I think about all the people I have been able to help, and I'm glad. And I think about the people I've met and been able to work through while doing all this superhero stuff. [He looks at Stark and smiles.] And I wouldn't give that up for any kind of normal life.
Lang [smiles at Parker, then looks at Stark]: What about you?
Stark [He has a slight smile on his face after Parker's answer]: Me? I'm not enhanced.
Lang: I mean, if you could go back and decide to become Iron Man again, or not, considering all you've gone through, would you still do it?
Stark [face turned to Lang, but eyes fixed on Parker, whose head is tilted curiously.]: Absolutely. No question. For all the same reasons.
[The two superheroes ignore Lang, appearing to have a conversation with their faces instead.]
Lang: So, ugh, thanks for coming I guess, Iron Man, and Spider-Man. It's been great having you on Heroes On Heroes.
Stark: We're good then? [He claps his hands on his thighs and stands up quickly.] C'mon kid, we don't want to be late.
Parker [has taken off his mic, but is still close enough for it to pick up]: Where are we going? I'm starving!
Stark [is in the midst of leaving, so his voice is quiet]: Le Grenouille. Pep's meeting us there.
Parker: French food? No, seriously? I wanted pizza!
Stark: And I've told you, you really need to expand your palette, because… [sound fades away as they leave the room.]
Lang: We're done, right? Can I take this mic off now? I mean, if there's another interview you want me to do, I'm totally up for it. Or maybe tomorrow?
Camera person: We're done. You can just leave it there on the chair.
Lang: Oh, okay. I'll just do that. Whoops! I dropped it. Is that okay? I think it's fine. I'll just put it right here.
[Scene cuts to black.]