Trigger warning

Elena's POV

Jeremy and I got home pretty late from Jenna's. We stayed longer than expected, reminiscing about my parents. It was such a good night once I got out of my own head. It's always so difficult to get out of my head. My mind is always filled with worries and negativity. I wasn't use to having exciting things going on around me. I was so excited about my date with Damon next week that I wasn't even dreading coming home like I normally did. I was on a natural high of finally having something good in my life. Something that no one can take away from me. It felt really nice. Damon actually liked me for me. That was something so unexpected. When Jeremy and I walked inside the house we were surprised by Uncle John, who was not pleased.

"Where have you been all night?" John questioned as his words slurred and his breath filled the room with alcohol. This wasn't a surprise.

"We went to Jenna's for dinner. You were suppose to come with us." Jeremy filled him in. "Don't worry we covered for you." My brother rolled his eyes.

I hung back trying to not get involved. I prefered to stay as invisible as I could be but it didn't last long.

"Whatever. Go make me something to fucking eat in this house." John said turning to me.

I nodded my head and walked into the kitchen heating up chicken from the other day in the oven. This was the last thing I wanted to do right now but I'd rather cook him dinner than get screamed at. Jeremy went upstairs and it was clear he was jonesing. It really pissed me off. I was really tired of this shit. I was reaching my breaking point and decided to give Damon a call. It was out of character for me but he puts me in a better mood. He makes me feel special.

It went to voicemail and I checked the clock figuring he went to sleep but I left a voicemail anyway. "Hey Damon. I don't mean to be too forward but if you're free I'd love to do something tomorrow. I don't want to wait till next Friday to see that handsome smile of yours. Give me a call tomorrow. I'll be home." I hung up the phone.

I knew Jeremy would be out with his friends and John worked Saturday afternoon. It was the perfect timing. I was actually proud for putting myself out there more. It was easier knowing he was now interested in me but it still is so new and exciting. I boiled water for macaroni and cheese then went to grab the chicken out of the oven when I heard footsteps. Suddenly I felt hot breath, breathing down on my neck. I gulped and tried to turn around but John grabbed my arm. I expected him to hit me but he didn't.

"I've never seen you so dressed up Elena." He whispered in my ear and I was instantly uncomfortable. "You look like a woman."

Chills fill my body. "John-"

He grabbed my ass with his free hand. I jumped out of my skin. He chuckled.

"My little sweet Elena is all grown up now." He turned me around staring at the cleavage showing. This was a new low for him.

I was shaking as I stared at my uncle. "Please let me go." I begged as tears filled my eyes.

"Now why would I do that." He was smirking at me knowing that I was a helpless stupid girl.

John pulled me by my hair into the living room and threw me onto the couch. My stomach was in knots and my hands were sweating. He got on top of me. My skin was crawling. I tried to get up but his grip was so tight. I cried and cried before he put his hand over my mouth. All I could hear is my brother's music blasting so loud that no one was going to hear me.

"You look so much like your mother." John kissed my neck and rubbed my thigh with his icy cold hands. Each touch made me feel sick to my stomach.

I had never experienced this type of fear before. I kicked and tried to fight him off. He was frustrated with my struggling and punched me in the stomach. I winced in pain. He continued to kiss me and I was too afraid to keep fighting. He pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room. I watched him touch me and all I could do was take it. I couldn't stop shaking. John tore my black dress down. I felt so violated, disgusted and exposed. Just when I had given up and accepted that I wasn't going to be able to stop this the smoke alarm went off. I had then smelt smoke. I realized the food was still cooking. John was caught off guard and he jumped off me. I was in shock but I stood up and pulled my half ripped dress up. John grabbed the fire extinguisher and I watched him freak out asking me to help him. I stood there and didn't react. The fire was very small but could've gotten out of hand if he didn't react quick enough. Jeremy ran down the stairs my eyes widened but I felt relieved knowing that John wouldn't touch me with him here.

"What happened?!" Jeremy asked as he saw John putting out the small kitchen fire. He looked at me confused.

"Ask your sister. She's a terrible cook." John yelled over the smoke alarm.

I looked at my brother with fear and noticed his eyes. "Are you okay Elena?" He was high as a kite but he still could tell something was wrong with me.

"She's fine Jeremy." John said as the smoke alarm finally stopped. He picked up his shirt and looked at my brother and I.

I held my dress up with one hand and reached for my brother with my other hand. "I'm just really tired and shaken up from the fire." I walked into my brother's arms as he gave me a hug. I felt some of the anxiety fade as my brother comforted me.

Jeremy watched the look of fear in John's eyes. He had never seen that before in his uncle. Something was wrong but he was not in his right mind to figure it out. "Let's get you to bed." Jeremy said as he let go.

We went upstairs and Jeremy tucked me into bed. "Are you sure you're okay?" You seem upset." That was the understatement of the century.

I convinced him everything was okay but it wasn't even close to being okay. I was it was nice seeing my brother give a fuck about me for a change. "Jere?" I said as he was about to leave.

"Yeah?" He yawned.

I choked down the fear in my voice. "Can you stay in here tonight?" He nodded and grabbed some blankets and make a bed on the floor next to my bed.

"Sleep tight little sis." He reached up and rubbed my hand.

I fell asleep but woke up every time I heard any noise. I was always terrified of John but now my fear was different. It was scary when he was just abusive but living in the same house as the man who tried to rape me is unbearable. I was so scared I was going to wake up to him on top of me again. I just wanted to sleep. I was so tired but I couldn't fall back asleep. I'm so afraid to wake up to another beating or worse. I was scared to hear that my brother overdosed. It seemed like each day came with more and more misery. Something bad always happened. I couldn't live like this for the rest of my life. I wanted to be happy and normal. I didn't know how much longer I could stand to be around. I looked on the floor and watched my brother sleep peacefully. I quietly reached into my desk and I grabbed the pocket knife out. I made a few new fresh cuts. I watched the blood flow out of my veins. It stun but I felt relieved. I realized I cut too deep a moment later as I felt lightheaded. My head fell onto the pillow and I was barely conscious.