Elena's POV

The sound of my alarm blasting a ringing noise woke me from my slumber. I blinked my eyes open and dreaded the thought of getting out of bed. The severe pain I expected was worse that I thought it would be. I didn't have the oxy to dull the pain so I was back to suffering. It was bad but I had school and I couldn't miss again. I was still angry with Jeremy from last night but I was done with him. I got dressed like a snail and eventually got outside. It didn't help that it was cold out and all I had was a hoodie. I couldn't grab anything to eat because I feared for John to catch me before Damon got here and make my pain even worse. I waited for Damon in the spot he usually picks me up. I looked at my phone for the time, he was late. After awhile I called him. It wasn't like him to be so late. He never answered and I got very worried. I ended up walking to his house after a half hour. I was probably overreacting but he was more important than school was. My body was aching but I couldn't do anything about it.

I was exhausted by the time I got to Damon's house. He didn't live very far but my body was sore. I called him again. No answer. I knocked. No answer. I tried opening the door but it was locked. I went around back and the back door was unlocked. I stood there for a few minutes deciding if I should go in or not I didn't want to intrude and be that type of girlfriend but I'm really worried. I knew if it was me he has done the same thing. I opened the door.

"Damon? It's Elena." I yelled, shutting his door. "Hello?" I said, walking through the house. "Are you home?" I walked upstairs to his room and knocked on his bedroom door. "It's Elena." I walked inside and saw Damon curled in a ball under the blankets. I sat next to him and rubbed his back. "Are you okay?" I asked him. I knew he wasn't. He looked like he hadn't slept all night.

He looked at me with pain in his eyes. "Yeah." Damon said softly.

I was concerned. "What's going on Damon?" He looked devastated and I've never seen him this way.

"I don't want to talk about it." Damon said sternly, I understood and respected his choice.

"That's okay you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to or you're not ready to." I looked at his broken eyes and it broke my heart. "But I'm here for you regardless." I said taking his hand to let him know I have his back.

Damon rubbed my hand in his with his thumb. "I'm happy that you want to help but it's not something that I need you for. I can handle it all myself." He sighed.

"The point is that you don't have to handle it by yourself anymore Damon." I half smiled. "You have me and we can get through it together."

He looked up at me. "You don't want to be apart of this Elena." Damon whispered, trying to protect me.

"Apart of what? If it's something that you're dealing with then I want to be apart of it." I wanted to help him but not overwhelm him. "You can talk to me about whatever you want." I looked into his eyes. "Whenever you're ready I'll be here." I promised him.

Damon sat up abruptly, letting go of me. "Have you not heard about what happened here seven years ago today?" I looked at him with confusion. He was sure that I had heard something.

"No I haven't?" I wondered what he was referring to.

He searched for words to describe the pain he went through. "When I was a nine years old my father got arrested for murder." He looked at me for reassurance, I was caught of guard but I snapped out of it.

I took his hand into mine. "It's okay." I reminded him I was here for him.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes. "I don't remember a lot of the details but I dream about it and I get flashbacks of that night." Damon looked in my eyes. "My father went mad and he snapped one night in front of all his friends. He killed four people in this house. While I was upstairs sleeping."

I looked at Damon, in shock. I hadn't heard any of this before. "Wow Damon I'm so sorry." I kissed his cheek as we were both tearing up. "You went through so much trauma so young. It's not fair. It's horrifying." I didn't have the words but I held him.

"When I heard the gunshots I tried to protect Stefan. I hid him in a closet and I went downstairs. It was a bloodbath." He stared at the wall looking defeated. "I saw people I had known with their necks slit open. An older man who was shot twice with a phone in his hand." His voice broke, I squeezed his hand. "He was calling for help." Damon's breath sped up. "I was shaking. My dad stood there and my mom was screaming for me to go to my room. It was... It was.." He paused to hold back his tears or he would breakdown.

I couldn't believe how much trauma he experienced I wanted to cry but I tried to remain strong for him. I could feel the pain in his voice. "It's okay if you can't continue." I reassured him.

"No I need you to know the full picture." Damon held his face to stop from crying. He was sweating and anxious.

I nodded. "I'm listening whenever you're ready just take it slow babe. I'm not going anywhere." I wanted to take his pain away.

"I went back to Stefan but he wasn't there. I was scared for his life. I went from room to room looking for him." The panic in his voice was like he was reliving this moment over again. "I found him." He choked up. "He was covered in blood and I still have nightmares." Damon eyes watered. My heart ached for him, I had no idea. "Stefan won't talk about it, not that I can blame him." He took a deep breath trying to remain strong enough not to let the tears fall out.

I grabbed his face. "Hey, just let it out okay?" I begged him, he tried to back away but I didn't let go that easily. "Damon you don't have to hold back with me." I stroked his hair. "I'm here for you baby. Just let it out." He broke down and cried. I pulled him into my arms.

We cried together and laid awhile.

When I met Damon I couldn't believe the instant connection we felt. It was so fast but it made so much sense and at the time I didn't understand why. It was the most intense feeling I've ever felt in my entire life. I knew he felt the same way too. The way I fell for him was so unlike me. Being with him felt so natural and how he could be so open to my own problems. After seeing this side of him and seeing how much more we are alike than we both realized and it's nice to have someone that understands you. Damon understood me more than I thought was possible.

I wish he hadn't had this trauma, that he hadn't raised his own brother, that he could've been a kid and grown up feeling loved. I wished it for myself so many times but you can't change, all you can do is grow. I knew after this day that I was in love with Damon and I knew that I would make sure he spent everyday from here on out feeling loved.

Author's Note

Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing okay after the hell of a year 2020 was. I know I was gone for awhile but I think most of the world was trying to grieve the world we once knew. I had a lot of time on my hands to write but it was too hard to get it out. New year and I'm going to try my best to focus on the things that help me cope through these times and that is updating these stories.