Chapter 12

(Vibe: Anchor by Novo Amor)

He took the pills from her every morning without question, as if they had just become a part of his routine. He didn't seem to consider that she had told him they were to ward of infection, yet now all of his wounds had clearly healed and were turning to scars.

And she continued to slip him the sleeping pills at night without him knowing and he never questioned how exhausted he would suddenly become. There was just to much stirring inside of him to worry about something so small and seemingly insignificant.

She had guessed that because he was getting a goodnight sleep and that because his anxiety was being somewhat treated, it had helped him cope with whatever was happening inside of his own head. But it was by no means a cure. It wasn't an easy fix and she doubted one existed. The fact that he still didn't question the pills she gave to him, or the fact that he blacked out every night was proof that he still wasn't thinking clearly, he was still having trouble focusing on reality.

There were days when she could have almost convinced herself that she had imagined any progress he had made, because the sights she was often faced with, didn't look like a man who was getting better.

She had to remind herself, when she followed after him, as he paced back and forth, that it wasn't to long ago that she wasn't able to approach him. She had to remember that there was a time when he would be stuck in that state for most of the day, but now she could put in an effort and offer her patients, and slowly pull him from it.

Though she wasn't entirely sure how long she had been out here with him, it still hadn't been long enough to grow comfortable with his constant silence.

There were whole days that would pass when she was lucky to receive a grunt in response from the simple questions she asked.

There were days when he ignored her completely.

There were days when she would look into his eyes and she could tell that he felt just as lost as he had when she had first arrived.

The words he did offer her, were few and far between. And maybe she could have accepted that, if she wasn't able to look at him and see the fear that had settled in his eyes. She could have accepted it, if she couldn't see the shadows of things inside of him, that were begging to be released.

Sometimes it was easy to forget that things had changed since that first day when she had come looking for him.

Sometimes when things got hard, it was easy to just dwell on the notion that they weren't getting anywhere.

But those thoughts always passed.

That's what she was focusing on right now. Not that things may appear hopeless, but the fact that she would soon be reminded that they weren't. She could soon be reminded that it could be worse.

From the second Michonne arrived, Daryl had been withdrawn and on edge. She wasn't sure if it was Michonne specifically that was bringing on this reaction, or if it was simply that someone was invading on his space and his carefully constructed routine.

Either way it didn't matter, It was clear that she was making him uncomfortable. She was greatful that at the very least, Michonne ignored the way Daryl had watched her all afternoon and how he continued to watch her until he finally fell asleep.

"You should come back to Alexandria now. Both of you." Michonne pressed as she settled herself across from where she had settled, by the fire with Daryl.

She shook her head. "I don't know. Daryl, he's-"

"He's doing better. Much better then I expected. He can heal at home, both of you should be at home where it's safe"

"Things set him off. I told you that he can't handle-." she stopped and sighed and looked down to where his head was resting on her lap. "I don't even know what will set him off sometimes" she confessed. She hated admitting that she wasn't one hundred percent sure of what could happen if Daryl was put in that kind of situation. She had seen the look in his eyes when he had killed the savior. She knew just how dangerous and detached from reality Daryl could become, especially if he felt threatened. And it seemed that there were few things that Daryl didn't find threatening.

She noticed Michonne's expression soften and the slight nod of her head, that she seemingly done for herself, as she worked through the thoughts in her own head."I can explain all of this to everyone before you come back."

Michonne's eye's were fixed on hers, waiting for an answer that she still wasn't ready to give her. She couldn't stop herself from considering all the problems that could arise.

"Everyone just wants to help Carol." Michonne added quietly, obviously sensing her reluctance to give in.

"And Negan?" she asked, looking back down at Daryl and wondering what would happen if he were ever faced with Negan again. What damage it could do to someone already so broken.

"Negan is staying in his cell. There is no reason for Daryl to even know he's in Alexandria."

"You think we should lie?" she questioned.

"I think you should do what's best for him." Michonne offered, her brow raising slightly before she continued. "Like you already are. Even if it means doing something without him knowing."

She knew Michonne was referring to the pills that she had been drugging Daryl with. She knew she was deceiving Daryl and in a lot of ways even manipulating him. But she had reasoned with herself weeks ago, that she would do just about anything to help him.

"Carol"

She lifted her eyes back up and looked at Michonne, wondering if this women really had any idea what she was asking for.
How could she?

Truthfully, Carol herself wasn't even sure of what would happen if Daryl were put back into Alexandria.

"You can't stay out here Carol. You know that."

She had seen Daryl enraged. She had seen him with a dark look in his eyes that reminded her of a wild and crazed animal that had been backed into a corner. She couldn't deny that there were times when she was afraid of him.

And maybe if Michonne had seen the things that she had, then she wouldn't be pushing for them to come back to Alexandria. Maybe if she had seen him in those states of madness then she wouldn't be approaching him with such carelessness.

She froze as she watched Michonne make her way over to where Daryl was sitting alone by the water.

He had avoided them both all morning and Michonne hadn't questioned his absence, but now she had decided to invade on his space, before she left.

Maybe it was some kid of test. Maybe she wanted to see how he would react, or figure out just how detached he was.

But really, she guessed that Michonne simply missed him.

Daryl's head turned slightly with Michonne's loud approach, but he refused to turn his head and acknowledge her. Even when Michonne sat herself next to him, he continued to stare straight ahead, as though he hoped that if he simply ignored her then she would just go away.

Once she had been sitting quietly next to Daryl for a few minutes, he glanced quickly at her, but Michonne kept her eyes on the water.

Not having the pressure of her eyes on him, seem to help him relax, even if it was only slightly.

"I need to leave now. I need to get back" Michonne offered with a calm and even tone, starting what would surely be a one sided conversation.

"It was good seeing you though" Michonne said, still keeping her eyes on the water, even when Carol was sure that she could feel Daryl glancing in her direction, assessing the women as though she might be dangerous.

"Do I get a goodbye?" Michonne asked with a small smile, finally turning her head slightly, just in time to see Daryl snap his eyes back to water, trying to avoid making eye contact with her.

"No?"

Michonne shrugged and nodded. "Well. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Look after Carol"

Michonne stood up and ignored Daryl flinching and tensing at the sudden movement. She took one last look at him, scanning her eyes over him, as if she was committing the sight to her memory.

"Bye Daryl" Michonne said, slowly walking away, only stopping when the sound of his voice hit her ears. It was as quiet as always and yet it always erupted through the silence like thunder, making her head turn back in disbelief, as though he had said something life altering, instead of the single word he offered.

"Bye"