This one is a mess of trigger warning so please read with caution. I don't want to hurt anyway. READ WITH CAUTION!
Work was going as well as it could. It took forever before he who shall not be named finally agree to visit the kid. I was a mess of emotions that I just couldn't control at all recently. No one was being spared from my outburst and the boys had a mixture of feelings over it. Switch stopped calling and is only texting me now in guilt, Luciano pretty much acts like I'm a time bomb and trying his best to not set me off anymore. I don't blame him I am a bomb at this point. Then there was Lutz… He fed into the outburst he fueled them he loved them. He yelled I yell, he cheers, and I punch him in the face leaving a trail of blood. None of them asked what was wrong. Well Switch and I could guess, but I'd wipe all his files if he tried to bring it up or even suggest it.
"In local news, Crimsonstroke and Ink Sac have struck again leaving hardly any blood in their tracks. Few lives were lost, but nowhere near as many as it used to be for this nightmare duo." I grumbled listening to the news and making the grossest looking thing I have ever seen. I couldn't help it though I was going to actually cry if I couldn't eat it literally.
"I'll teach you a nightmare Rachel. Come for my boys again, and I'll go to that studio. Don't think I won't!" I mumbled finishing up my snack for the hour. There will be another weird mess made next hour trust me.
"OH, NO BREAKING NEWS FATAL CARNAGE HAS BEEN REPORTED OF TAKEN A YOUNG BOY HOSTAGE IN HEROES WISHES HOSPITAL! THE POLICE AND SEVERAL HEROES ARE AT THE SCENE AS WE SPEAK." My eyes widened as I slowly looked towards the tv. I dropped my plate as I turned in time to see an explosion go off in one of the hospital rooms. I slowly covered my mouth in shock to muffle any sobs about to come out.
"N-No E-Edison… What have I done!" My free hand grabbed a fist full of my shirt. As a choked sob left my throat. "W-What did t-th-that monster do."
"OH MY GOD FATAL CARNAGE HAS JUST BLOWN UP THE HOSPITAL ROOM! YOU CAN SEE HIM FLEE THE SEEN BY ROOFTOP BUILDING NEARBY… SOME OF THE HEROES ARE OFF CHASING HIM!" I slowly slid down my cabinets just staring at the screen in shock. I did that… I caused a little boys death. I wasn't hungry anymore. I was sick in several ways. I quickly stood up getting sick in the kitchen sink. That weird snack didn't look any better coming up. I whimpered weakly whipping my mouth. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to not exist for a bit. I weakly slid to the floor again to cry in a ball on my kitchen floor. I heard banging on my door, but I didn't care at all. Nor did I know how long I'd been just crying on my kitchen floor.
"Sweetheart/Angela/Ms. Island YOU NEED TO OPEN THE DOOR!" Oh, it's them. I still don't care. I broke a promise to two of them, and I forced the other one to hide a rape. Look where it got us a dead child. Maybe if I ask sweetly enough they'll end me too. It's only fair after all. I was starting to zone out when I heard something crash to the floor.
"I'll take the kitchen! Lutz bedroom! Honda office!" He's so demanding… There's actually a lot of random things under my cabinets neat. "Oh thank god! Angela come here get off the floor."
"But this is where horrible people should be. On the cold ground bleeding out… I'm missing that last part want to help?" All I saw were red eyes. Too emotional to be crimson anymore. Fear was a winning emotion in them right now.
"Angela whatever you're thinking stop it!" Luciano slowly lifted me into his lap and held me tight. I sat frozen as he gently stroked my hair mumbling complements that I couldn't fully comprehend. So they might be complements I'm not sure. "I'll never help you end yourself, and you are nowhere near a horrible person."
"I killed him… I killed Edison…"
"No Fatal did!"
"I lied to you…"
"Yeah… You did, but I should've known you would. You love kids too much."
"I did horrible things for him to see Edison…"
"Wait what?"
"I… He… I… I killed Edison! I got him killed!" Luciano mumbled something about asking something later before responding.
"You didn't press the trigger, Angela. You didn't kill anything or anyone."
"I set the fuse though. It had no trigger only a fuse, and I unknowingly set it." I mumbled tiredly into his neck.
"Angela you're warm… I think you made yourself sick…"
"You're not cursing… You're mad you think I killed Edison too don't you?" I weakly whisper to him.
"No… I'm not mad Via… I'm just scared over how you're taking all of this in. My fear came pretty true, and It's making me feel sick too." I buried my face fully into his neck.
"We're both in love with a monster. What a silly joke." It is the last thing I said in my broken state before as Luciano claimed my sickness sent me to sleep. I was forced to watch nightmares over and over again. Edison dying in so many ways, and each time those sickly olive drab eyes staring me down with a smirk whispering 'You told me I could. So I did.' I woke up screaming. That's all I could really do to express how I felt after who knows the number of nightmares I had.
"Via! Hey, Via it's okay! VIA IT'S OKAY." I thrashed around as I felt someone grab my wrist. They kept me restrained till I wore myself down. "Via look at me!... There we go. There's my favorite eyes in the whole country."
"...How… How long-"
"Just a day… Before you ask I'm not mad just scared still." I looked at Luciano nervous.
"L-Luciano Talia doesn't do scared…" He just rolled his eyes letting me go, and relaxing as he properly sat on my bed.
"Only when your fucking around. Don't act cute after the fit you just had… Then you'd be lying to me again." I relaxed at hearing him curse. It seems he fought to keep a smile down at the sight. "Now… Wanna talk about the night terror you've been having?"
"You could probably guess… He kept saying I told him to do it… What if I did… I… I can't remember!" Luciano signed and pulled me into his chest.
"I've known you for almost two years now Via… There is nothing he could have done that would make you agree to killing anything." I laid limply in his arms. God, I don't know how long I have before I have to tell him what I actually let that monster do, but I hope it's far down the road.
"L-Luci?" He tensed up at the out of the blue nickname. Oh yeah, Lutz warned me about Lulu being his only nickname. "I'm sorry. I forgot Lutz warned me about that…"
"No… It… Call me that anytime it was fucking stupid but still fine… What the hell did you need?"
"Food…" He chuckled dryly and helped me to my feet.
"I swear you're eating more in the last fucking month than you've eaten your whole life. Trust me Switch gave me your damn file so I know." I shook off a wavy a guilt at his statement.
"Yeah… Well, I'm hungry so if you don't mind." I slowly left my room only for him to chase me with words.
"Angela you're not a fucking monster or a horrible person you better fucking know that." I just held my head down as guilt ate at my chest after that.
"That what you think now… Give it time." I mumbled disappoint looking at myself in the window. "I don't even know who I'm looking at anymore… All there is before me is a dirty used horrible monster… You'll see soon.