Gryffindor Common Room, Hogwarts, 9/15/1995, 19:26
Today was another day where Tonks was having to help Susan Bones so Harry figured that he would get the ball rolling on his plans for Umbridge.
Harry had decided to go with a simple but no less effective plan and the Weasley twins had agreed to meet with him tonight after the common room cleared out.
He was going to talk with them and figure out if any of the products they sold could be ueful in his prank for Umbridge. He also planned to ask them if they could create something completely custom as he already had a pretty good idea of what he wanted to happen to the toad-faced defence professor.
For some reason pranking her just felt right and Harry knew it's how his father and godfather would have handled the situation. Granted, what he had in mind was not a harmless prank but it would humiliate her in front of the entire school. If all went to plan, no one would be able to suspect him of anything as he had already come up with a simple way to pass the blame on to someone more deserving.
"Hey there," Ginny said as she took a seat beside him on the couch.
"I thought you had quidditch practice?" Harry said, giving her a curious look.
Harry noticed that she appeared to have just gotten out of the bath becauseherhair was still damp and hecould smell the fruity scent of her shampoo from their close proximity. She was wearing pajama bottoms and a baggy Holyhead Harpies tee shirtwhich was much more modest than the skimpy shorts and spaghetti straps she usually slept in over the summer.
"My idiot brother accidentally busted Katie's nose with the quaffle," Ginny sighed as she turned her body so her back rested against the armrest and brought her legs up on the couch so she was sitting with her knees up to her chest and her bare feet coming to rest against Harry's thigh.
"Angelina cancelled quidditch practice for a bloody nose?" Harry asked incredulously as he turned to look at her.
"Well no. She didn't cancel practice for that," Ginny admitted as she wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees.
"Then why did she cancel practice?" Harry asked in confusion.
"She cancelled practice because one of my idiot twin brothers gave Katie something that was supposed to clear up her bloody nose, only it did the opposite. She bled like a faucet and almost passed out on her broom," Ginny huffed in annoyance.
"Is she okay?" Harry asked in alarm
"Yeah, the twins rushed her to the infirmary. I checked on her on my way here and she looked okay though she was still a bit pale," Ginny sighed.
"That's good. How is Ron doing so far?" Harry asked with interest.
"Dreadful, he freezes up if anyone watches him," Ginny snorted.
"That's not good, quidditch is a spectator sport," Harry muttered.
"Enough about quidditch, I heard you're taking Hannah Abbott to Hogsmeade next Saturday," Ginny smirked.
"Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out where we're going," Harry confessed.
"Whatever you do, Keep it simple," Ginny suggested.
"Simple?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Don't try and make it overly romantic, it'll look like you're trying too hard," Ginny explained.
"So no flowers and chocolates?" Harry asked looking at her with rapt attention.
"Exactly. A single flower would be nice but a massive bouquet would make you look ridiculous considering she would be carrying them with her during your date," Ginny explained.
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Harry nodded, grateful for the advice.
"And if you go to Puddifoots, avoid the pastries," Ginny advised.
"I hadn't planned on going there anyway," Harry shrugged.
"Good, there is something in the icing that gets people all... randy," Ginny muttered as her cheeks flushed a cute pink.
"You sound as if you know about this first hand," Harry smirked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Ginny mumbled as she hid her face behind her hands.
"What are you two up to?" Ron asked as he came up to them and sat on Harry's other side.
"She was giving me dating advice," Harry shrugged.
"Then why does she look like a tomato?" Ron asked suspiciously
"From what I gather, Madam Puddifoot puts lust potion in the icing of her pastries," Harry answered casually.
"Oh no, didn't Hermione say Krum took her there?" Ron asked in horror.
"Yep, and she can't resist a piece of chocolate cake," Harry nodded as he came to the same conclusion.
"All she told me was that Krum took her to the Shrieking Shack after their date," Ginny added, smirking when she saw Ron's look of horror.
"I wonder if there was any shrieking involv-
"Shut up Harry!" Ron exclaimed, shooting Harry an irritated look.
"I'm sure they didn't do anything," Ginny said patronizingly.
"Of course not," Harry agreed as he saw Hermione enter the common room and began to make a beeline straight for them.
"So I heard you've been having trouble with your focus," Harry said hastily changing the subject.
"Yeah, I can't stop choking up when I know everyone's watching. It didn't help that the Slytherin team came to hackle our practice today either," Ron admitted.
"Hello you three," Hermione said as she took a seat in the chair across from them.
"Hello Hermione," Ginny said cheerfully.
"What are you three talking about?" Hermione asked curiously as she got comfortable in her seat.
"Lust potions in Puddifoot's chocolate cake," Ginny said innocently.
"Ginny!" Harry exclaimed as Hermione suddenly looked very embarrassed.
"What, you were just saying you wondered what she and Krum got up to at the Shrieking Shack," Ginny grinned.
"That is none of your business Harry James Potter," Hermione snapped looking highly embarrassed.
"We were just speculating if Madam Puddifoot put lust potions in the pastries" Harry defended, shooting Ginny a look of annoyance.
"True, Ron brought up you and Krum," Ginny agreed, still looking very amused.
"I seem to recall you being pretty cagey about how you come up with that conclusion in the first place," Harry smirked before Hermione could round on Ron.
"Yeah that is a pretty good point," Ron said shooting his sister a questioning look.
"Fine, I went there with Colin last year. It was supposed to just be as friends but after we had some carrot cake we... we kissed... a lot," Ginny mumbled as she hid her face behind her hands again.
"Carrot cake, huh?" Harry asked, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.
Harry started to guffaw before she raised her left foot and jabbed him painfully in the ribs with her toes causing Harry to practically climb into Ron's lap in an effort to get out of her reach.
"Ow, that bloody hurt!" Harry exclaimed as she finally let up and he rubbed his side where he was sure there would be a bruise this time tomorrow.
"I grew up with six brothers, Potter. I know how to play rough," Ginny smirked.
"Mate, I like you and all but give me a little space," Ron complained as he shoved Harry back towards his smirking sister.
"I knew there was something funny going on with you two," Hermione smirked.
"I pity the poor bloke that gets saddled with either of you two harpies," Harry muttered as he scooted back into his spot, eyeing Ginny warily.
"Corner says he likes me being rough with him and with any luck, I will be a harpy one day," Ginny shrugged as she indicated the logo on her shirt.
"I doubt there is any boy in this castle that could give me stimulating conversation much less take me on a date," Hermione shrugged indifferently.
"From what I can tell, there was plenty of stimulation going on at the Shrieking sha- OW!" Harry was cut off mid-sentence as Hermione drew her wand and cast a pinching hex that hit him in the thigh.
"I think I am going to bed but if you bring up the Shrieking Shack one more time, it'll be your bits I aim for next time," Hermione warned before she headed up the staircase.
"Now you've done it," Ginny giggled as she got up and followed Hermione up the stairs to the girl's dorm.
"Harry mate?" Ron asked quietly.
"Yeah?" Harry asked looking over at Ron.
"Do you think I have a shot with Hermione?" Ron asked, keeping his voice low.
Harry knew Ron had a crush on Hermione, his reaction at the Yule ball last year was a dead giveaway. That being said, Harry couldn't understand why... well other than the fact Hermione was very pretty when she took the time to tame her hair and put on something that showed off her body.
Still, Ron and Hermione were leagues apart intellectually. Ron was his best mate and he wasn't being mean when he thought Ron was a simple Bloke. Hermione was the complete opposite and aspired to be the best she could be at everything she did... except divination. That's not saying a relationship couldn't work between them but it would be a nightmare once the novelty wore off.
"Honestly, no I don't. You two would end up killing each other if you were to stay together long enough to get married," Harry said as gently as possible.
"Because I'm not as smart as her?" Ron asked with a dejected look.
"No, because she is really high-strung and you're just an easy-going bloke," Harry answered honestly.
"Yeah, she is a bit high-strung," Ron conceded, though he still sounded a bit glum.
"She'll be worse when we get out of school," Harry predicted.
"Yeah I could totally see that. I remember how Percy was when he started at the ministry," Ron nodded.
"I doubt she'll be singing her boss' praises and worrying about cauldron bottoms but she'll be obsessed with her job," Harry agreed.
"Lavender's kind of pretty," Ron said thoughtfully as he looked across the common room at her and Parvati chatting over a crystal ball they had set up n the table between them.
"She does have a magnificent bum," Harry grinned as he saw the girl in question bend down to pick something out of her school bag.
"Do you think I have a shot with her?" Ron asked.
"Sure. She's pretty down to earth, it could work," Harry said encouragingly.
"I am on the quidditch team, birds are into quidditch players," Ron pointed out.
"Yeah but we might have to figure out a way to get you to play in front of a crowd before you try and play that card," Harry suggested.
"Really, do you have any ideas?" Ron asked hopefully.
"There is one but it will take me some time to track one down," Harry said getting an idea.
"What is it?" Ron asked hopefully.
"Have you ever heard of a magic feather?" Harry asked, fighting a smile at the thought of the trick he was about to pull on his best mate.
"What like a Phoenix feather?" Ron asked.
"No, it's a feather that will give a man confidence. It is rumoured that a magic feather could even make elephants fly," Harry explained, somehow managing not to sound serious.
"Really?" Ron asked in excitement.
"I doubt it would work on most elephants but it's proven that if you have a magic feather in your pocket, you will play at peak performance every time," Harry said confidently.
"Is it legal though?" Ron asked worriedly
"Yeah, no worries. There isn't a test that can detect a magic feather," Harry assured him making a mental note to go to the owlery tomorrow morning and get his friend a 'magic feather.'
"Couldn't hurt to try," Ron shrugged looking excited at the prospect.
"That's the spirit, mate," Harry agreed as he got up and stretched before yawning widely.
"I think I'm ready to turn in," Ron said as he got up.
"Alright, I have a meeting with the twins in about half an hour but I can at least get changed," Harry said as he followed after Ron up to the dorns.
Harry sat by the fire as Angelina and the other two chasers headed up the stairs leaving the twins and him alone in the common room.
The twins quickly moved to take a seat across from him and waited patiently until the girls had disappeared up the staircase before speaking.
"So little Harrykins, what can we help you with?" Fred asked as soon as they heard the door to the girl's dorm click shut.
"I need a speciality prank product commissioned and I was hoping that you two could create it for me," Harry said getting straight to the point.
"Depends on how complex it is and what you're willing to pay," George answered in a business-like tone.
"I want two different prank items, the first is a sweet to change a person into a specific animal kind of like your canary creams," Harry explained.
"Not impossible as long as it's a non-magical animal," Fred said thoughtfully.
"And the second?" George asked.
"Fart powder," Harry said simply.
"You can buy fart powder at Zonkos," Fred sighed, looking disappointed as if Harry had let him down somehow.
"Well, I want this batch to be special. Every time the victim farts I want a tongue of searing hot flame to come out. Kind of like firewhiskey," Harry elaborated
"Ouch, this isn't just a prank then?" George muttered, a look of understanding crossing his features.
"No this is personal," Harry said in a deadly serious tone.
"May we ask who?" George inquired warily.
"Dolores Umbridge, she made Hermione write lines with a blood quill in detention last week," Harry answered, a dark look crossing his features.
"Minus the cost of ingredients, we'll do this one for free," Fred replied at once and got a nod of agreement from his twin.
"So what kind of animal did you have in mind?" George asked as he took out a notepad and a quill from the pocket of his robes and began writing something.
"A pink toad," Harry said with a sinister grin which was mirrored by the matching smiles from Fred and George.
"Do you have a time you need this by?" Fred asked.
"Hopefully by next Tuesday, I want to make Hermione's birthday special," Harry answered, his grin getting wider.
"Seeing a fire-farting pink toad should make the day special," George agreed.
"Oh those will be two separate pranks," Harry corrected.
"Excellent that will make things simpler on our end. A lot of times these prank potions react with one another," George said looking pleased.
"I don't think the flatulence potion is appropriate for a toad, I would rather the hall see her reaction to it in human form," Harry explained.
"We could create the first potion so the second effect we're going for is a side effect of the first, like the boils after those fever fudge bites," Fred suggested.
"Genius, that would be much simpler to deploy," George nodded.
"I think I follow you," Harry said though really he was starting to feel a bit lost.
"This will require an order from the muggle market, I already know the ingredient we need for the flaming fart side effect," Fred said as a look of inspiration crossed his features.
"Bhut Jolokia," George grinned as if reading his brother's mind.
"Oh yes, if we put the crushed pepper in stasis and use it as the binder for the toad transformation potion, it should delay the capsicin's effect. The jolokia could easily generate the burning sensation our customer requires," Fred agreed as an evil grin curled on his lips.
"Alright, I'll let you two take it from here, just send me the bill," Harry grinned as he got up from his seat.
"Good night, we'll have everything you need by dinner Monday," Fred assured him while George began writing furiously on his notepad.
"Thanks, both of you," Harry said genuinely.
"Think nothing of it, we love a challenge and this could end up in our vicious prank line," George said distractedly.
Harry nodded and headed up to his dorm content with the knowledge that Umbridge was going to have a very bad Tuesday.
'I can't wait to see how this plays out,' Harry grinned as he crawled into his four-poster bed.
Room of Requirement, Hogwarts, 9/16/1995, 18:29
Harry was in the process of running through sparring practice with Tonks. It was nice to be able to fire spells back at her, not that it made much difference as she easily dodged everything he threw at her.
"So why do you want me to owl you that feather again?" Tonks asked as she dodged his stunning spell.
"I am hoping it can boost Ron's confidence on the quidditch pitch," Harry shrugged as he sent a nonverbal stinging hex at Tonks.
"I don't get it," Tonks said in confusion.
"Have you ever seen Dumbo?" Harry grinned as he sidestepped her punching hex.
"I have, and you can't possibly be thick enough to think that will work?" Tonks muttered incredulously.
"It was either that or a lucky rabbit's foot," Harry shrugged.
"Those are banned in professional quidditch matches," Tonks pointed out.
"You mean there actually are lucky rabbits' feet?" Harry asked in surprise.
"Yep, they're pretty dark actually. They have to be cut off of a live rabbit and if you ever lose it, you are cursed with extremely bad luck for seven years," Tonks shrugged.
"I'll stick with the magic feather, I plucked it from Malfoy's eagle owl this morning," Harry snorted.
"Whatever. Have you figured out where you and Abbott are going on your date yet?" Tonks asked in an overly casual tone.
"Yeah, Sirius told me about this place called the Lion's Den," Harry answered.
"Good choice, their food is excellent," Tonks conceded.
"Yeah, he said it wasn't super romantic like Puddifoot's," Harry shrugged as he sidestepped her incoming stinging hexes.
"That's for the best," Tonks agreed.
Harry started flicking his wand quicker sending off a clumsy chain of stinging hexes that Tonks easily avoided.
"Not bad, I see you've been practising nonverbal," Tonks said as she avoided every spell with ease.
"I've started doing everything nonverbal, McGonagall was over the moon about it in class," Harry beamed.
"Good, at least I don't have to listen to you bellowing spells at me," Tonks said, looking pleased.
"Yes if only I could get this damn chaining thing down pat," Harry sighed.
"It's easy, stop worrying about the wand motions," Tonks answered as if it were obvious.
"Wait, you mean I don't need to use wand motions?" Harry exclaimed.
"No, if you can cast with your intent then the wand motions aren't necessary," Tonks nodded.
"Damn, then why do why spend so much time on wand motions?" Harry demanded.
"It helps your mind to associate the wand motions with the magic you wish to produce," Tonks replied as she hit the floor with an ice spell.
"It sounds like they deliberately slow down our learning by making us cast the spell like that," Harry muttered and attempted to cast a spell without wand movements only for nothing to happen.
Before Harry could try again he saw a red beam and then everything went black as Tonks' stunning spell hit him in the face.
Harry came to and looked through bleary eyes to see a beaming Tonks standing over him.
"You might not want to stand so close to me," Harry muttered as he blinked back the cobwebs from the stunning spell.
"I got your wand, there is nothing you can do," Tonks shrugged as she waved Harry's wand at him in her other hand in a taunting manner.
"I actually meant that you shouldn't stand so close because I can see up your skirt. I like the little hearts by the way," Harry smirked and took a stinging hex to the stomach for his trouble.
"Honestly from thirteen to the grave, all men are disgusting perverts!" Tonks exclaimed angrily as she backed away from him.
"Agreed but that was bad form cursing an unarmed man," Harry grumbled as he shakily got to his feet.
"I have had it up to here with your shenanigans Potter!" Tonks growled as she threw his wand at him which he deftly caught.
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Walking in on me in the shower, that filthy dream, and now looking up my skirt! You are pushing it!" Tonks exclaimed and Harry was surprised to see she was on the verge of tears.
"Tonks, I'm sorry I really wasn't trying to upset you," Harry said at a loss for what was going on.
"Whatever, we're done for today," Tonks scowled before shifting into her Wendy disguise and storming from the room leaving Harry completely lost as to what had just happened.
Harry stood there for a few minutes still trying to process what had he done.
"I swear I will never understand women,' Harry muttered as he gathered his things and headed for the common room, his mind still whirring over Tonks' strange behaviour.
Great Hall, Hogwarts, 9/17/1995, 16;49
Harry made it into the hall to find Ginny and Ron already there and both of them looked to be in high spirits and were seared across from each other towards the middle of the Gryffindor table.
"How's it going?" Harry grinned at them as he took a seat beside Ginny.
"Excellent, I saved every goal they sent my way," Ron beamed.
"The Snakes even came to watch us practice and Ron kicked the quaffle Angelina shot at the goal so that it smashed into Malfoy's face," Ginny exclaimed happily.
"Good," Harry beamed.
Stealing a glance at the Slytherin table, Harry actually laughed out loud when he saw Malfoy glaring at them with a big purple bruise on the left side of his face.
"I owe you a butterbeer for that one," Harry said as he turned back to his plate with a wide grin on his face.
"Told you he'd like that," Ginny chuckled.
"And I owe you a big slice of carrot cake from Puddifoots for giving me the good news," Harry added casually just as Ginny was taking a drink of pumpkin juice, causing her to sputter the drink all over the table in front of her.
"Potter, I will hurt you," Ginny growled, as she pointed her fork at him in warning before using her wand to vanish the juice.
"Oh calm down, I was only teasing," Harry said unable to hide the grin playing on his lips.
"Where is Hermione at anyway?" Harry asked, a bit surprised that she wasn't at dinner already.
"I knew you would miss me," Hermione beamed as joined them at the table, looking to be in an exceptionally good mood.
"The room is always darker without you in it," Harry agreed in faux seriousness.
"What kept you?" Ginny asked as Hermione took a seat across from Harry.
"Parkinson held me up with her usual nonsense, Granger is a mudblood blah blah," Hermione scowled.
"Ah the pug is just begging to be taught a lesson," Harry said thoughtfully as he suddenly had a wonderful idea.
"So what trouble are you three up to?" Hermione asked, looking questioningly at Harry.
"We just got back from quidditch," Ron shrugged.
"I just finished up my weekend homework," Harry said dully.
"You'll never guess what happened at quidditch practice," Ginny beamed
"What?" Hermione asked as she began fixing herself a plate of Salisbury steak.
"Harry's idea worked wonders," Ron exclaimed happily.
"What idea?" Hermione asked with interest.
"I found a way to help Ron with his stage fright," Harry said proudly.
"It isn't imagining people naked, I take it?" Hermione questioned as she began to eat.
"Well, I'm sure he's doing plenty of that. The chaser lineup is a sight to behold," Harry said thoughtfully.
"Thanks, Potter," Katie called down the table sounding amused.
"Then what is it?" Hermione asked as she rolled her eyes at Harry.
"Have you ever heard of a magic feather, Hermione?" Harry asked seriously.
Hermione just stared at him as if she wasn't sure whether he was being serious or not.
"I have," Hermione said evenly shooting Ron a look like she wasn't sure if he would be thick enough to fall for that.
"It worked like a charm Hermione, he was amazing at practice today," Ginny beamed, confirming that Ron was indeed that thick.
Hermione just stared at Harry who was grinning at her from ear to ear then she glanced at Ron and then back at Harry before she shook her head in disbelief and went back to her plate.
"Morons, the lot of them," Hermione muttered as she glanced back at Ron one more time before shooting Harry an incredulous look.
"Something the matter, Hermione?" Harry asked innocently, feeling very amused by her reaction.
"I was just thinking that the students need to start sitting an IQ test before they can attend Hogwarts," Hermione sighed, sounding almost disappointed.
"It would never work, Crabbe and Goyle can't even spell IQ," Harry pointed out helpfully.
"You should be ashamed of yourself, Potter," Hermione muttered when she saw Ron talking to Lavender Brown.
"You would think I would be, turns out I'm not," Harry said having to fight pretty hard not to laugh out loud at the look on Hermione's face.
"Actually, I don't know if I'm more disappointed in you for tricking him like that or him for being daft enough to believe you," Hermione admitted.
"All is fair in love and quidditch, Hermione," Harry shrugged.
"Why couldn't I have gone to Ravenclaw?" Hermione muttered while looking up at the enchanted ceiling.
"Then you would just be a big old nerd. At least in Gryffindor, our end-of-the-year adventures elevate your status a bit," Harry pointed out.
"I would be perfectly happy being called a nerd if it meant I could be shot of this nonsense," Hermione argued.
"That hurts Hermione," Harry sighed as he finished up his food anxious to get to his training with Tonks.
"Honestly what next, fairy dust and happy thoughts?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"I had thought of using a lucky rabbit's foot but apparently that's a real thing," Harry admitted.
"Well at least he won't be all mopey and Brown seems to be extra flirty with him today," Hermione said thoughtfully.
"You're not upset?" Harry asked worriedly.
"No, I got over my crush on him last year. My body is attracted to him but when he opens his mouth, it ruins it for me," Hermione explained.
"Then all's well that ends well, now we just have to wait for some nerd to sweep you off your feet," Harry chuckled.
"Fat chance, the only one I find attractive at the nerd table is Davies and he really is a womanizer," Hermione confessed.
"Just do me a favour," Harry asked.
"What?" Hermione asked.
"Don't get tangled up with Malfoy after we leave school because he's suddenly changed or whatever," Harry almost pleaded.
"Yuck, why would you even suggest that?" Hermione said unconsciously shuddering at the thought.
"Just covering my bases. While I'm at it, say no to Sirius as well," Harry said, giving her a pointed look.
"Now him I could see," Hermione said thoughtfully.
"Absolutely not, I forbid it," Harry exclaimed, looking horrified at the thought.
"You're only making it more appealing for me by forbidding it," Hermione smirked.
"That's it, I have to meet up with Wendy," Harry said as he got up.
"Don't be late for curfew or I will give you detention with Filch," Hermione warned.
"I won't," Harry waved her off as he made his way out of the hall, not wanting to find out if Hermione was serious or not.
Harry arrived to find the door already open and stepped inside to find Tonks waiting on him.
"Listen about yesterday, I really am sorry," Harry said as soon as she turned his way.
"Thanks but I'm the one who should be sorry for overreacting. That just reminded me of my school days a bit," Tonks sighed, giving him an apologetic look.
"What happened when you were at school?" Harry asked in confusion.
"The Slytherin Quidditch team played a prank on the Hufflepuff team's robes right before the Slytherin/Hufflepuff match. All of our robes became transparent in the middle of the great hall," Tonks admitted, her hair colour shifting from pink to orange at the memory.
"Oh," Harry said.
"Then they made fun of the hearts on my knickers," Tonks continued.
"When did this happen?" Harry asked, realizing exactly why she had been so upset with him yesterday.
"My third year," Tonks replied, her cheeks flushed a red colour.
"Those bastards," Harry muttered.
"Yeah, they regretted that as I was starting beater and I was merciless in that game. I put Vince Marshall in the hospital wing and he was the Slytherin team captain" Tonks admitted, a victorious smirk playing on her lips.
"I am really glad you didn't come at me with a bat and bludger for looking up your skirt," Harry muttered.
"Yes well to make up for yesterday, I am going to help you get the hang of point casting," Tonks sighed as she took off her outer robes.
"Alright," Harry said looking forward to getting the hang of the technique.
"Well remember how you had to focus on what you wanted to happen for nonverbal casting?" Tonks asked.
"Sounds simple enough," repeating his words from a few weeks ago when he was learning nonverbal casting.
"Compared to silent casting, this is actually pretty easy," Tonks assured him.
When Harry left the room of requirement three hours later, he felt like he'd accomplished quite a bit today. He still had a bit more work to do on point casting but he had started to get the hang of it before the warning bell rang.
"We had better hurry," Tonks said in the guise of Wendy as she rushed out of the room behind him.
"Thanks for teaching me that," Harry said softly as they briskly walked towards the main staircase.
"You're welcome, just keep practising that until you can cast a spell without having to move your wand at all," Wendy said as they neared the staircase.
"Don't worry I'll get this, it's too useful not to," Harry assured her as he envisioned all the uses this new technique could offer.
"I will admit that you're progressing faster than I thought you would," Tonks said as they neared the stairs.
"I'll believe that when I'm the one tossing you around in our sparring sessions," Harry muttered.
"That could take you centuries," Tonks smirked as they came to a stop.
"We'll see," Harry muttered as Tonks started heading down the stairs.
"Catch you tomorrow night, Potter," Tonks called over her shoulder.
"Yeah, good night, Wendy," Harry called back before hurrying towards the Fat Lady's portrait.
Harry knew he still had a lot to learn but now he felt like he was better prepared for a fight than he was a month ago. It had been a little over two weeks since he had started training with Tonks and already he felt leaps and bounds ahead of where he was when the house was attacked back in August.
As Harry stepped into the common room he couldn't help but be glad Tonks had taken the time to train him. It was only a matter of time before he put those skills to the test and he would be ready when that time came.
'Maybe I should try and get Ron and Hermione up to speed while I'm at it,' Harry thought as he took a seat with his friends and began to finish up his Transfiguration homework.
Great Hall, Hogwarts, 9/19/1995, 07:39
"Happy Birthday, Hermione," Harry beamed as soon as he took a seat across from her at the Gryffindor table.
"Thank you, Harry," Hermione smiled warmly as he handed her a birthday card.
Hermione slipped the card out of the yellow envelope and saw that the front of the card was decorated with a cartoonish picture of a big slice of chocolate cake with two bites taken out of it. The picture was set on a blue background and Underneath the cake were big pink block letters that read.
HAVE A SHRIEKING HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Inside the card was a gift certificate to Tomes and Scrolls and a personal note Harry wrote on the inside of the card under a large picture of a snitch that was coloured a deep Bulgarian red.
Happy Birthday Hermione, I got you another gift just keep an eye on the head table at 8:15.
Love,
Harry
I am going to forgive you for this pun and your horrible insinuation simply because of this," Hermione beamed as she looked over the twenty-galleon gift certificate for the Hogsmeade bookstore.
"That was the whole point of the gift certificate," Harry admitted.
"So what happens at eight-fifteen?" Hermione asked curiously.
"You'll know in twenty minutes," Harry said with a knowing grin.
"You had better not get into trouble," Hermione warned.
"Way ahead of you," Harry grinned as he lazily stretched his arm out with his wand loosely held in his hand and cast a nonverbal confundus charm at the Slytherin table beaming when he saw a glazed look appear on Pansy Parkinson's face.
In the next fifteen minutes, the hall filled with students hurrying to get breakfast before classes started. As if on cue, Professor Umbridge took her seat and Harry waited until she poured her morning tea. Harry reached into his pocket under the table and removed a vial filled with clear liquid before tapping it with his wand and casting the switching spell on its contents. A second later the vial was filled with brown tea from Umbridge's cup.
Smiling to himself, Harry cast the spell again and switched the vial in his hand for the lint in Pansy's robe pocket and waited for the potion to take effect.
Harry watched as Umbridge drank the entire cup down in one big sip before refilling her cup. The potion was supposed to be sugary sweet so it would blend well with most sweets or in this case tea loaded with sugar.
Harry grinned when Umbridge's hair started to fall out of her head and her skin started to become raised and bumpy as her features became even more toadlike and her skin changes colour to bright lurid pink.
"Oh my god, it worked!" Pansy shrieked stupidly pointing at the head table.
Every eye in the hall looked where she was pointing and gasped in surprise as Umbridge seemed to explode outward as she grew into a truly massive wart-covered toad that took up a good portion of the head table as the teachers seated on either side of her scrambled to get out of her way.
"HEM HEM"
The sound was deafening as the transformation took effect and she let out an exclamation of surprise.
Just as suddenly as she grew larger, she began to shrink before their eyes. In seconds she shrank to the size of an ordinary garden toad and began hopping across the hall making the same exclamation every time she landed just at a comically high pitch.
"Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
The laughter started at the Gryffindor table first courtesy of the Weasley twins and was soon picked up around the hall as her voice sounded more suited to a chipmunk than a toad. Students pointed and laughed as the pink hopping toad made a high-pitched imitation of her trademark throat-clearing sound as she slowly made her way toward the door.
Soon she started hopping faster, fleeing from the sound of the laughter and making her sound almost frantic.
Harry admitted it was pretty funny watching the lurid pink toad hopping across the hall and squealing 'Hem Hem' every time she landed. Harry also noticed the teachers didn't seem too concerned with helping her return to her human form and were sitting back and watching the spectacle with the rest of the students.
Harry watched her make it a third of the way down the hall hopping between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables when another toad hopped onto the floor, after freeing itself from Neville's slackened grip.
"Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
"Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
Umbridge began fleeing when she noticed Trevor hopping after her, Neville's toad was much larger and was able to quickly catch up with her.
"Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
'Hem Hem'
The Ravenclaws began chortling next as her customary cough began sounding very shrill and terrified as Trevor finally caught up to her and began to mount her, luckily for poor Trevor the potion finally ran its course otherwise the poor toad would need therapy.
The pink toad began to rapidly grow as Umbridge reverted back to her true form causing her to appear on her hands and knees in the middle of the hall with Trevor still hanging onto her ample posterior for dear life.
Poor Trevor was in the wrong place as the side effect designed into the potion kicked in and Trevor was launched through the air as Umbridge shrieked in surprise.
'THPPTPHTPHPHHPH'
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"
A long gout of lurid pink flame burnt a hole through Dolores' robes and propelled Trevor high into the air. Everyone watched in amazement as the smoking toad landed in a pitcher of pumpkin juice at the Slytherin table, spraying Malfoy in the face in the process.
This seemed to be the cue because the entire hall erupted into a riotous laughter as Umbridge farted again shooting a long tongue of pink flame out of the hole of her robes though thankfully Harry was too far away to see any more detail than that.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPH
This time the flatulence was accompanied by a high-pitched squeal of pain as Umbridge grabbed her bum and scrambled to her feet only for the flame from her next fart to engulf her hands.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPH
"Ahhhhhhhhhh it burns!" Umbridge shrieked as she flailed her hands wildly and lost her footing falling face first on top of a very surprised Vincent Crabbe, causing renewed laughter.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPH
"Oooooooh please make it stop!" Umbridge squealed as another gout of flame ignited Gregory Goyle's robes who was sitting next to Crabbe causing the boy to shriek and tear his flaming robes off as he hastily got away from Umbridge.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPH
Umbridge was staggering to her feet her face a mixture of pain and embarrassment when the next flaming ass blast tore through her and ignited her pink cardigan. Daphne Greengrass who was sitting three seats down, doused the flaming professor in a pitcher of pumpkin juice.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPH
"Ohhhhhhh my burning ass!" Umbridge squealed causing Harry to hold onto the table to keep himself from falling over.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPH
"Dumbledore make this end, my ass i-iss burning!" Umbridge shrieked right before the largest burst of flame yet came out of the already badly singed hole in her robes.
THPPTPHTPHPHHPHTHPPTPHTPHPHHPH... poot
With one massive wet-sounding blast, the potion finally ran its course in a dragon-sized burst of flame causing Umbridge to collapse to her knees with tears streaming down her face while the teachers converged on her.
"Oh my god that was horrendous," Hermione muttered looking at Harry in shock and giving him a weak smile.
Harry glanced over to see that Umbridge was sobbing quite loudly and seemed to be in a lot of distress. The flames were mostly just a special effect, the burning Umbridge was feeling was the bhut jalokia extract. Even though the flames had stopped, the high concentration of capsicin in the little-known Indian pepper was wreaking havoc on her lower digestive system.
"Nobody fucks with my friends, Hermione," Harry whispered as they watched Madam Pomfrey escorting Dolores Umbridge out of the hall her wails resounding through the hall.
Meanwhile, Pansy Parkinson was being interrogated by an apoplectic Professor McGonagall and desperately trying to deny her involvement.
"Remind me not to make you mad," Hermione muttered, giving Harry a grateful smile.
"I just hope Trevor is alright," Harry muttered.
"He'll be fine, the flames are only dangerous to non-living things. It's similar to a fire with floo powder in it," George whispered.
"Something tells me, Trevor won't be as anxious to chase pink toads in the future though," George added with a knowing grin.
"You two can push your damn products in the common room, just no testing on first years," Hermione sighed.
"Look at that George, we melted Granger's frozen heart," Fred sighed dramatically.
Harry listened to Hermione, Fred, and George carry on while the hall slowly calmed down. The prank was way more vicious than he had thought it would be but he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty about that.
'Khan got it wrong, revenge is a dish best served hot,' Harry chuckled to himself as the bell rang and the students began making their way to class.
Though Harry suspected defence class would be cancelled this morning as Umbridge would be very uncomfortable for the next hour or two.