John Phoenix was sleeping in his bed when it started shaking! He lifted his facemask and saw that the bed was being carried downstairs by a bunch of police officers.
"Why?" asked John Phoenix.
"Because, pal," said Gumshoe, "Uncle Phoenix is DEAD! And you're on trial for KILLING him!"
John Phoenix yawned and put his mask back on. "I'm pretty sure I didn't, but wake me up when we get there and I'll defend myself if I feel like it."
So he was carried to the courtroom. Winston Payne chuckled.
"Heh, sleeping on the job, are we, John Phoenix? You must be tired... tired from murdering your uncle!"
"Objection," John Phoenix yawned from his desk, where he was sleeping now. "You have no proof I did it."
"Heh. HEH HEH HEH. Then explain this note that says you did it."
Winston presented a note and the note said "My name is John Phoenix, I am about to push my uncle into traffic to murder him, okay here I go, SCREEEH CHHHH CRAAAASH! Ha ha. He is dead now. Now I am putting the note on the body. Okay now I'm running down the street from the police. They're right behind me. AHAHAH! Stupid cops! They'll never catch ME, THE GREAT JOHN PHOENIX! FUCK YOU UNCLE WRIGHT!
Love, John Phoenix."
The judge shook his head.
"Well! The defendant made a big mistake leaving that behind. I'm afraid that note is perfect proof!"
The judge was about to deliver the verdict! John Phoenix had to find a turnabout, fast!
"OBJECTION!" yelled John Phoenix. "We've been looking at this entire case the wrong way."
"Oh? We have?" said the judge.
"Yes. We need to to turn this case around!" He slammed his desk. "What if... John Phoenix was actually innocent?"
"NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" said Payne.
"I'm not finished. What if the murderer was someone else? And what if someone else was the REAL KILLER?"
He pointed up into the rafters, and everyone and looked up, and sure enough, the real killer was skulking in the shadows. He pulled a dagger out of his belt and everyone gasped! He swooped down on a rope and tried to slice up John Phoenix, but John Phoenix just smacked the weapon out of his hand, and then John Phoenix grabbed the man's belt and his collar and lifted him over his head, and then John Phoenix threw him clear across the room against the wall! The would-be assailant moaned and slid to the floor.
"Good work, John Phoenix," said the judge.
"Shut up, whoever you are." John Phoenix strode across the room. "Nice try trying to frame me for my uncle's murder... but you made one mistake... YOU'RE ACTUALLY MY UNCLE AND YOU'RE NOT DEAD ALL ALONG!"
John Phoenix ripped off the killer's mask and it was actually...
"Phoenix Wright!" gasped everyone (except John Phoenix). The evil uncle glared up hatefully.
"Huh, well, this doesn't make sense," said the judge. "The victim... is also the killer?"
"No," said John Phoenix. "My uncle was never dead at all. If you go to the morgue, you'll find that the dead body is actually a dummy, cleverly done-up to pass as a human being. Or at least Phoenix Wright."
"My word, John!" cried Winston Payne. Phoenix Wright glared up hatefully. "Do you mean to say that your uncle threw a dead body in front of a car to fake his own death?"
"Yes. He also wore green clothes to trick the police."
"And I almost got away with it, too," spat Phoenix Wright. "I hate you, John Phoenix! I am jealous of you!"
But John Phoenix just smirked. "Nice try, but your plan to try to frame my uncle for trying to frame me for killing him has one fatal flaw... MY UNCLE LOVES ME!"
John Phoenix ripped off Phoenix Wright's Phoenix Wright mask in one swift motion, and it was actually Dylan Fitchar all along!
"What!" cried the judge. "But how!"
"It's simple," explained John Phoenix. "If you go to the morgue, you'll discover the dummy is actually Phoenix Wright's dead body stuffed inside a dummy. Dylan tried to trick the world into thinking my uncle hates me and I have a bad home life. Nope, my life is epic. Go to hell, Dylan."
Dylan cried and ran home while people threw garbage at him.
"Good work, John Phoenix," said the judge. "NOT GUILTY!"
Everyone cheered!
Later, in the lobby...
"I'm sorry your uncle is dead, John Phoenix," said Edgeworth politely, not that he really cared Wright was dead, but he knew Uncle Phoenix was the man John Phoenix respected most in the world. However, John Phoenix seemed happy?
"John Phoenix, you seem happy?" said Edgeworth. "That seems illogical. Unless...?"
Phoenix Wright was still alive! John Phoenix explained.
"You see, if you go to the morgue and look in the dummy and cut open my uncle's skin, you'll discover he's actually the robot I made to replace him. I've longed feared that one of my enemies would try to kill my uncle to hurt me, so six months ago I chained the real Uncle Phoenix up in the basement. He's perfectly fine."
Edgeworth raised his eyebrows in concern. "John Phoenix, you can't keep Wright chained up in your basement."
"Why not? He's annoying."
"Let me show you something."
Edgeworth took a rat out of his pocket. It was completely wrapped up like a mummy in black electrical tape.
"This is my pet rat George. I keep him in my pocket because I'm afraid the outside world will hurt him, but now he's turned vicious from being trapped in the darkness too long."
Edgeworth watched the rat struggle in its tape prison and try to escape, but it couldn't, all it could do was scream. Edgeworth sighed.
"And now... I'm afraid to let him out, and see what kind of monster I've created."
John Phoenix considered this for a few moments. He made up his mind.
"All right, Miles," said John Phoenix. "I'll let my uncle out of the basement."
So they went to John Phoenix's house and opened the basement door. It had been a while since John Phoenix last went down there, so he was afraid his uncle might be dead.
"Uncle Phoenix?" called John Phoenix softly into the darkness. He was immediately answered.
"John Phoenix!"
The happy music from the games played as they unchained Uncle Phoenix. His clothes were torn and dirty, all his teeth had fallen out, and he needed a shave. John Phoenix was afraid he might be too late, and that his uncle might have already lost his humanity, but his fears on that front were soon put to rest.
"Look at this picture I drew, John Phoenix!" said Uncle Phoenix excitedly. "At first I tried passing the time with that Pinkie Rabbit puzzle you gave me, but it was too hard, so after a few months I set it aside and drew this instead!"
He held up a crayon drawing of himself and his nephew teaming up in court and objecting at the same time. John Phoenix smiled.
"It's really good, Uncle Phoenix. But you forgot to draw the necks again."
"Yeah," chuckled Uncle Wright, "I always forget that part." Suddenly he got serious. "Can... can I go back upstairs now? Where the people are? And... the light?"
"Yes, Uncle Phoenix. Yes you can."
Edgeworth took his rat out of his pocket. "You made the right choice, John Phoenix. As much as you may want to protect your uncle. And now... it's time for me to do the right thing as well."
He unwrapped George but let out a cry of despair. The rat had finally died. Edgeworth held his beloved pet in his hands, the corpse already stiffening. He sobbed.
"No... no, no, no, no, no..."
He was too late. John Phoenix and Uncle Wright cast their eyes down and took off their hats.
Then, slowly, the rat began to morph into a tiny version of Gregory Edgeworth. John Phoenix's eyes sharpened and Phoenix's mouth fell open. Edgeworth slowly set the tiny Gregory on a paper towel.
"I always suspected that my father never actually died in the DL-6 incident," said Edgeworth. "He's been looking after me in rat form this whole time."
Then Gregory's ghost flew out of his body and floated through the window, unseen by the mourning Edgeworth or his friends. Gregory looked through the pane of glass sadly. Suddenly Mia Fey's ghost laid a hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay, Gregory," she said. "You've done all you could do. You were always with him. Now it's time to rest."
"But... I'm afraid," said Gregory. He placed a tiny ghost hand on the glass. "I'm afraid of leaving my son alone in this world..."
Mia smiled. "Don't worry. He's in good hands. He's got John Phoenix and John Phoenix's uncle to look after him."
They flew off together into the night sky to heaven, leaving Edgeworth to smile over his tiny dead father's corpse.
"Thank you, father... for teaching me what it truly means to be an Ace Attorney. We can't hide in the darkness... we must always head towards the light, and destroy the shadows, and find the truth!"
Now that they saved Uncle Phoenix, John Phoenix and Edgeworth helped him upstairs and put him in a high chair and spoon-fed him to help build his strength back up. He kept making his bib dirty, but John Phoenix punched him a few times, and he soon learned not to do that. John Phoenix and Edgeworth stayed up late into the night beating Uncle Phoenix and baking Christmas cookies, and soon he was back to his old self.
And as for the tiny Gregory Edgeworth? Edgeworth had him embalmed and turned into a hood ornament on the front of his cool car as a way to honor him. Whenever someone asked him about the tiny man on his car, Edgeworth chuckled, and then he'd tell them the story of the time he and John Phoenix had saved Phoenix Wright.
THE END