Truthfully if there was one thing anyone would ever know about me to be an absolute truth it was that I was terrified of heights. Vertigo, shaky legs, and the urge to kiss the ground were sure signs that I had gotten somewhere that was too high for me.
What I had wanted to be was someone who aimed to stomp out my fears, who had looked at my qualities and worked to be better and do things outside my comfort zone despite the fear. I tried hard to mask any fear and to stuff it behind the placidly closed door in my mind. I couldn't have imagined what would happen when I didn't speak out, when I slammed the door shut.
The college Christmas break rolled right In when I was settling into my new apartment and all my immediate family were half way across the country. I had no desire to go back to a small town and sit beside a flimsy plastic tree to hear all my relatives fight with each other about finances and drama. The only family member I would have risked a flight in bad weather would've been my aunt but she was busy having a fun time in Florida with the money she earned from the lottery. That was another reason not to go home for Christmas, I needed family members schmoozing up to me in order to get closer to my aunt like I needed to step on a nail.
All those movies make it out like everyone goes home for holidays in college but the truth was far from it. In fact there was a whole group of us who had started a group chat titled 'Holi-Haters' I didn't pick the name but the whole group did riff on the guy who did, it became infamous with the time Kohl had accidentally sent his sexting message to everyone instead of the lovely foreign exchange student. He could not enter a voice chat without someone at some point making a joke about it. I was always more of a lurker in the chats. I mean it wasn't really all that interesting and not all of us shared classes or interests. So when I made an off handed reference and the girl I had briefly talked to started to laugh uncontrollably I was confused, then excited and promptly started to text her a lot more after that encounter. We even figured out we had a few classes together and after that it was like we clicked and everything looked brighter, metaphorically of course.
Judy Walls was a beautiful, intelligent girl that had me enthralled. She had this way about her. I didn't know how to describe it at the time. She was so put together and had so many of the same likes of mine. She smiled at me and I could look her in the eyes without getting uncomfortable. The instances when she would be so into a book it would take her three hours in detail describing the plot and characters to you so that you would know what she was talking about and her cute assortment of glasses depending on her outfit that day drew me in.
That day was no different than any other. Judy's dark black hair with hues of blue dye shone in the sunlight while she complained of the heat. her seat moved closer to mine because I apparently was naturally cold and she wanted to see if I had fucked up painting my nails for the billionth time. She took my hands in hers and smiled playfully putting my hand on top of her forehead like an ice pack and sighed in mock relief like it was the most refreshing thing in hours. She and I talked endlessly until suddenly she asked me to go hiking with her… On a date.
My heart swooned and soon enough we were packing up to go. I chose my best walking shoes and packed them with heart shaped sandwiches and water. A picturesque idea formed in my brain as I imagined a nice park bench beneath a shaded tree where she and I would cool down after hiking and we would have a fun time looking at the flowers while eating the sandwiches. We had planned it down to the area and time, but when it all came down to it she had forgotten to give me a small detail that I still sometimes recall in my memory paired with a slowly cracking bitter feeling.
Which trail we were taking and how high up we would be climbing it.
While I was joyfully singing songs in the passenger seat with Judy, her air conditioner blowing back our hair, I had no idea what was about to unfold in front of me. The trail was called Dead Man's Walk and it was a fucking nightmare. It seemed like a beginners trail, it even had a friendly sign! But the closer we got and the more we hiked upward the more the door in my mind banged and my legs started to slowly replace with jello. We went through and over, and across a bridge at some point. I couldn't recall what I was thinking all my mind was doing was screaming incoherently and begging to be let go like a kid afraid of escalators. Which I was also afraid of funnily enough.
I dared not confess my fear when we were already halfway to the top, nor could I even try and imagine myself going back down alone.
My heart had pounded in my ears as I grounded myself and saw her smile light up my path. Was I an idiot when it came to people I liked? I might as well have been 50 clowns shoved into one tiny car for all the trauma my body was receiving as it tightened and made my body tense as a rock. We passed a couple who looked like they didn't seem to care; they were less than a rock away from the edge lined with trees. It was sick that humans enjoyed this, the thin air, the sweating and the breeze that made me want to click my heels together three times, and be back in my bed.
All of those thoughts of panic rushed through my brain like a symphony of horror music until I heard Judy make a sound of surprise as a rock beneath her had become loose and slipped away down the mountain, leaving her swaying and not stable.
I reacted immediately, pushing myself from the spot where I had stood clawing the rock face with trembling fingers, running forward to stabilize her. She grabbed my shoulders and pushed against me to gain stability.
We were on the side of a mountain.
She smiled at me, just once, and for a moment everything felt safe.
It wasn't.
I was falling.
I closed my eyes as I felt the wind push back against my descent and blocked out the sound of shouting.
Is this how I die?
Going down a mountain like a rock in an avalanche, tumbling and not stopping until it hit something to block its path. I wasn't even done with college yet; I hadn't texted anyone today about where I was going. I hadn't fed my cat or watched the newest Christmas Special for any of my shows.
I'm not ready yet…
And then I opened my eyes.
[You have died. Start New Game+?]
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
The white text lighting up the dark void that I had somehow found myself in.
Only one thought processed through my mind on a loop, "What the Fuck?"
Ever since I was a child I would look up to the sky or at the wall or floor and imagine where everything came from and what it was meant for and who looked at it before me. Such a curious habit for a child so young, trying to reason out a place for herself, her possessions and every little thing in the world, a pastime that cause much anxiety and intense fear as I could never really figure it all out and where I fit in to all of it.
Here in the void I woke up in and I still didn't know. My shapeless hand glided towards the button.
Curiosity, as always, was overtaking me.
[...Starting New Game+]
[...]
[...]
[Character Creation]
[ ] Import Character
[ ] New Character
A cold calm washed over me as I was presented with new choices. Almost on instinct my hand once again pushed forward against the lit up text. It was like I had woken up from a dream but not yet woken up fully, going through the motions even if it didn't truly make sense at the time.
[x] New Character
[...loading new character]
[Sex]
[ ] Female
[ ] Male
[ ] Intersex
A little more of myself woke up with each question, my thoughts were a garbled mess of wanting to start over. Start things differently then I had gone through before. I just wanted something new and something simple.
[x] Male
[World State Selection]
[ ] Apocalypse Now
You wake up during an apocalyptic event. The world has ended, and the remnants of humanity are struggling to survive in their new reality. What happened to the world is up to you, but be aware that life as you know it has ceased to exist.
[ ] Parallel
You awaken in a world disarmingly similar to your own, only with a few very solid differences. The choices are yours, from an entire world of genderswapped humans to having dogs be the dominant species on Earth. Perhaps America lost the Cold War, or the Industrial Revolution was postponed for a century. Whatever the case, nothing will be the way you remember it.
[ ] Stranger Than Fiction
You find yourself transported to a fictional world, with all the dangers and excitement therein. The world is chosen at random, but it will be one that you are at least passably familiar with. As recompense, you will be awarded an additional Talent Point.
[ ] The Gamer
Your life is a video game, and you can treat it as such. Awards [Gamer's Mind] and [Gamer's Body] Status Effects. The world you find yourself in is chosen at random, and it may not be one you are familiar with.
More letters rearranged themselves and twinkled into existence, giving me more of myself as I went along. I could comprehend the sentences on screen and thoughts that were slow and hard were now speeding up and amplifying. Memories of reading fantasy books lit up my reopening mind's eye and my hand went forward with intent to grab the best possible answer and to quickly grab more of myself back.
[Generating Decision]
[x] The Gamer
[Randomizing World. Please Wait...]
Words spun faster than my eyes could have comprehend like a deranged wheel of choices, blurring with increasing speed I closed my eyes momentarily. I thought I saw glimpses of a few I recognized; Marvel, Star Wars and Star Trek, and I thought I had even seen Fringe for a second.
[Doctor Who]
Holy hell.
This is.
My childhood. Every night that an episode would go live I would watch it intensively behind my shield of a blanket keeping me safe from the tv monsters and my dad in the chair beside me. I had watched nine through ten but by the time David Tennant regenerated my father had already thought I was too old to be watching it with him. Wanting me to actually go out and socialize and stop blabbering about it. Course I didn't want to stop watching but I couldn't finish another episode without my dad there. It was stupid but I was used to the routine and the displacement of my tv buddy hurt me a lot more than I had expected. I did watch and rewatched Torchwood over the years though. It became my comfort.
[Species]
[ ] Human
[ ] Randomize
I had thought this was an easy answer. Who would want to change everything about themselves and have to learn about a whole new world. Well I would have and I still support this decision of my past self, if I was given this question 100 more times I think I'd still choose this one.
[x] Randomize
[Randomizing Species. Please Wait...]
Once again the words had flashed across the void and I held my nonexistent breath as the word Dalek spun past, I hadn't even thought of that as an option before I pressed randomize, being a little pepper -shaker squid that hated people sounded like hell but it definitely would have been different. I could imagine the confusion of an actually good Dalek or at least an morally gray Dalek at best.
[Trion]
The Trions, originally known as the Clansfolk, were a race of humanoids from the planet of the same name. Genetically they are similar to Humans, Kaleds and Thals but have distinctive characteristics in biology that make them known for their strength across their galaxy.
[Other options will be randomized based off later selections]
So I had become a non human that was truly built different.
Well, it was better than being a Dalek or an Ood, so I couldn't complain too much. I really didn't mind the change and was now itching to figure out what exactly made Trions stronger. I felt a surge of curiosity spark around me and watched as the dark abyss around me sang with colors swirling and changing in a circular motion.
[Skill Selection]
You have been awarded Three Tale points based on the Completion Status of your previous game. Each Talent may only be taken once unless Specified otherwise. Effects are cumulative.
[ ] The Wolverine: You heal from injuries faster than people can make them using conventional means. Death is still possible, but anything less than full atomic annihilation can be brushed off with enough time to heal. Vulnerable to drowning and suffocation.
[ ] Mind Palace: Just like Sherlock Holmes you have a mind palace of your own. Your memories are stored neatly and precisely in the environment of your choosing, Mind readers or telepathic species cannot access your palace under any circumstances.
[ ] Wildcard: One power from the Superpower Wiki is chosen at random and given to you. Your proficiency in this power can be increased with training and heightens exponentially with age. Another Talent Point may be used to reroll for another power if the first is not desired.
[ ] Escalation: The more damage you take, the more stress you feel, the more danger you're in… the stronger you get. Escalating your form removes wounds and status effects, as well as increases your strength, reflexes, and speed. At your highest Escalation level you are invulnerable and unstoppable, but it will take quite the fight to get you there.
[ ] Man's Best Friend: All animals and beasts you encounter will automatically be non-hostile to you. If taken multiple times, you gain the ability to permanently tame one or more animals or beasts to be your loyal pet. May be taken (3) times.
[ ] Planeswalker: If you survive in your current world for ten years, you gain the ability to choose a different World State upon your death with all of your skills and Talents intact. Any additional Talent Points gained in this world can be used to purchase additional Talents upon relocating.
[ ] Roll A d20: You have the option to roll a d20 before any action or decision to alter the outcome. Reality is paused while you roll. A natural 20 will guarantee a complete success, while a natural 1 will guarantee a critical failure. Consequences of rolling the d20 can be potentially fatal.
[ ] Muggleborn: You are able to select one natural magical skill from the Harry Potter series for your use. You will not be able to use magic otherwise. Potential skills include Metamorphagus, Animagus, Apparition, Natural Legilimens, Natural Occlumens, and Parseltongue.
[ ] Siren: Your voice is able to hypnotize or compel anything with ears into doing your will. The effect only persists as long as you continue speaking or singing, the moment you are silent for more than five seconds your control fails.
Ever the optimist I optimized my choices quickly reading them over and going for a combination of Muggleborn and Wildcard with a side of Escalation. My species was already described as strong but having a backup was not a bad plan and having magic and a power was like grabbing two cookies instead of one, one may be great but two was amazing.
[Loading Power..]
[Spatial Travel]
The user can travel to either the space outside universes/multiverses, or the space between spaces as if they were an alternate dimension. (While they cannot necessarily travel to other realities, the user can still breach universal borders or go in between realities.)
[ ] Accept
[ ] Reroll (1 Talent Point)
That wasn't actually not half bad, I could use that a lot in my new universe. I had acquired my own personal void or space in between. No offense to the Tardis of course, she's beautiful but I thought the idea of being able to travel into a safe space between everything was absolutely amazing.
Yes there was no reroll needed here.
[x] Accept
[1 Tale Point Left]
Like a rolling tide the text once again had surprised me. Giving me more choices than I expected or thought I deserved. Picking a power was no hard choice for me.
[Choose power]
[x] Metamorphagus
[ ] Animagus
[ ]Apparition
[ ] Natural Legilimens
[ ] Natural Occlumens
[ ] Parseltongue
Changing appearance at will was a must, my gender fluctuations would absolutely love this one.
I will achieve gender.
[ Loading Selection]
[x] Escalation
[x] Muggleborn
[x] Wildcard
I looked over my choices with a watchful eye. Redoing decisions in my head waiting for the next part. Time felt different here. With no body for sense of touch or sight, smell. It was like the second you lapse into a peaceful sleep in the first time in a long time and your dreams are so clear that you think for a moment you've discovered a new color.
[Perks and Disadvantages]
You may take a maximum of Three Perks and Three Disadvantages. Each Perk costs One Talent Point. Disadvantages taken award an additional One Talent Point each.
[ ] (Perk) Linguist: You are preternaturally gifted with languages. You perceive every spoken language as your native tongue, and can learn to read and write them with very little practice. With time, you will be able to speak and comprehend eldritch languages as well.
[ ] (Perk) Incognito: The source of your Talents and powers is impossible for others to determine without you informing them outright. Mind readers cannot take the knowledge from your thoughts, truth serums cannot pull it out of you, and people will fabricate their own (false) explanations for anything unusual you do.
[ ] (Perk) Premonition: You hear an auditory warning bell when danger is near, the source or servarity is unknown to you until the danger has passed; The bell will always ring no matter if you are asleep or awake.
[ ] (Perk) Runscript: You are able to split your attention in order to run mental simulations to train your skills or Talents. Experience gained during your simulations is earned half as quickly as it would be should you train them in real life, but you can do other things simultaneously without detriment to your attention. Physical strength is not transferred to the real world from simulations, although muscle memory is.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Failed a Luck Check: You wake up in your new world under unfortunate circumstances and in a hostile environment. Nothing around you will be immediately lethal if you play your cards right, but you will in no way be considered safe.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Regression: You wake up as a child, but with access to your adult mind and emotions. You will have to age naturally, and any Talents or powers you possess will begin at weakened levels to compensate.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Headhunted: Every shadowy organization in the world wants a piece of you for one reason or another. They will never stop hunting you. Other organizations will only stop their pursuit if you are captured by one of them, or become powerful enough to be untouchable.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Like a Duckling: You imprint on the first person of authority you encounter in your new world. You are compelled to obey them, but can resist their orders with effort. You are not compelled to remain around them, and will not be compelled to obey any orders you are not present to witness.
I thought of taking some disadvantages first.
Failed a Luck Check sounded a bit risky while Headhunted sounded even worse so those two options were out of the equation. I didn't want to live with U.N.I.T and Torchwood breathing down my neck. That left me with Regression and Like a Duckling. I could live with growing up again, but the imprinting might be a bit complicated especially if a random authority figure just picked me up. Though it could've been Captain Jack Harkness if I had landed in the right time and place. I wouldn't have minded him being a fatherly figure.
[x] (Disadvantage) Like a Duckling
[x] (Disadvantage) Regression
[Two Talent Points Gained]
Since I hadn't taken Mind Palace earlier I quickly pressed Incognito and then grabbed at Linguist since I had no idea where in the universe I would appear, and it would have been quite embarrassing not to be able to learn my species' language.
[x] (Perk) Incognito
[x] (Perk) Linguist
[Character Creation Complete]
I had stared at the white blinding letters and waited for either a new selection or a start button. It felt like years and seconds at the same time as a cold burning sensation wrapped around my non being and pulled me down as the words changed once again.
[Starting New Game+]