Ta dah, enjoy!

ROBYN POV

A few days later, after plenty of rest and specific medicines to help replenish my iron levels etc. we were given the go ahead to try the phrasing again. And to try my loophole theory. Little Bird. Would it be the key? Could it avoid the control? Or even break it afterwards? We had the phrasing, which was a win in itself, we would know if anyone was trying to control me, but a loophole would allow freedom after that. So if I was caught, if someone did get the phrase around my neck, I could still break free. Or one of my family could free me. As usual we weren't sure how it would work, but that was why we had to try things out.

I stood in the cell; Levi was on a chair just beyond the bars, next to him was Hanji with her notepad ready, Mikasa had come down as well to help and apparently Jean would join soon too. His wound was doing better and he wanted to help. I appreciated it, even if I had to wonder if it was based in a fundamental break in his trusting of me. It couldn't be faulted, but I was still wary. How much wiggle room would I ever have with Jean again?

Levi looked pale as he readied to say the words. It sickened him, I knew that, and he knew I did. But I doubted that helped in the moment, readying to strip me of my autonomy. He swallowed hard. I gave a small nod. We could do this. Together.

"Blood of the father. Blood of the mother. Red, burning, blood."

The words bound me instantly and my body became something 'other', beyond my hold, beyond my reach. Despite knowing it was Levi holding the strings, it still made my blood run cold, to think of how I could be used in this state. To recall how I had been used. Damn. Okay breathe. This was to work towards being free, to being able to step beyond these cell bars.

Levi got the nod from Hanji and he continued. "Alright, recall the loophole, Robyn. How do we break the phrasing once you're under its control?"

My body shivered. My mind ached. The room went dark for a moment, and only then did I realise it was because my eyes were fluttering so fast in all directions. My body seized. I didn't crumple, but I couldn't move either, back arching a little as breaths thinned and my heart thundered in my ears. It was like a panic attack on steroids. My whole body was ready to combust. No way to obey. Impossible. Help! Make it stop. Make it st–

"I rescind the last order. Relax."

And I did, I slumped to my knees and breathed heavily, dragging the air back into my lungs. Blood pattered the floor, but not as much as I feared it might. Not a great side-effect, but not a deadly one at least. I looked up at them all, their concern shining out at me as my vision stopped being blurred.

Levi remained very still, likely holding himself in place with every bit of self control he possessed. "Did you remember anything about a loophole?"

"No." I gasped, only realising then that Mikasa was holding water out to me. I looked at the cup and then to Levi.

He jolted. "Oh right, act freely until otherwise instructed."

The strings loosened and I took the water with a small murmur of thanks, sipping carefully despite how I wanted to down it. My body continued to shiver. My head ached. But nothing had come back to me. I guess that would have been too convenient, too easy.

Once the air didn't taste like iron, I managed to speak. "How long did that go on for?"

"What?" Levi leaned forward. "You went rigid and then I said relax immediately."

"Oh. Felt longer." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Guess it fucks with my perception all round."

"Must do." Levi nodded, shifting his weight, doing his best to stay professional. "Are you ready to continue the tests?"

"Yes." I passed the water back, wiped my nose and retook my stance. "Carry on, sir."

"I command you to ignore the conditioning, to ignore the control of the phras–"

No. Wrong. Stop.

STOP.

Laughter bubbled out of me, my vision swam and my breathing was immediately strained. Wheezing. Choked. I clawed at my throat, I hit the ground on my knees, the laughter still pushing past every sliver of air I dragged in. Impossible. Nonsense. Madness! NOT HAPPENING. I laughed harder, tears streaming down my face, panic smothering every other sense. My head hit the floor, my nails now dragging along the stonework. It was like I was falling into some kind of pit, or being swallowed by a Titan, never to see the sunlight again, never to know anything but this smothering awfulness. Stop. Stop everything. You can't. Not allowed. Forbidden. STOP.

"Forget the last order!" Levi bellowed, words crashing into my world like lightning.

I gasped and lay on the floor, cold sweat all over my body, my hands lying limply against the stone, occasionally twitching as the panic subsided. My breathing evened out gradually, occasionally hitching still, wavering as my mind and body settled. How long had that actually lasted? Levi had been yelling, as if I hadn't heard him the first few times or something. As my tears stopped, I blinked and saw the darkened veins had crawled to my wrists, they clustered there before spidering out along my palm. Shit. They hadn't been visible at all before, nowhere on my body. It should have taken hours of toiling for them to be that extensive.

Levi knelt into view, still outside the cell. "How long did that seem to go on for?"

"A long while." I croaked, wincing at the sound of my hoarse voice.

"Move freely until the next order is given."

I managed to sit up and accept more water from Mikasa, who was looking over me with worried eyes.

My body ached like it was one big bruise. "How long was it really?"

"About thirty seconds, maybe. Tried taking back the order but you ignored me the first three times, or rather, I don't think you could hear me."

I shook my head. "Only heard the final yell."

"Alright, that's crossed off the list I guess, we're not doing that again."

I looked down at myself, soaked in cold sweat, and judging by the darkened effect at my wrists, I was likely covered in the blackened vein effect. Thirty seconds. Fucking hell. Vincent had built in quite the failsafe hadn't he? Bastard.

They were in no rush of course, so I took my time, maybe another ten minutes or so, before I finished the water and handed the empty cup back to Mikasa. The aches had dimmed. My head no longer hurt at all. My vision was clear.

"I want to continue." I said, getting to my feet and cracking my neck. "Please."

Levi didn't look sure, but he didn't argue, he just drew a long breath. "Do you truthfully feel up to trying your little bird idea?"

"I do, sir." I answered, the conditioning still in place, I literally couldn't lie.

He sighed and nodded. "Very well."

"Thank you. But let me try and break it myself first. It'll be great if the phrase breaks it for others, but really I want something to try and wriggle free myself as well."

He nodded again, but a lot less enthusiastically. "Alright…"

I shook myself down and took some long breaths. Alright, time to try this one last thing. Please. Please work? If it did, my mother had given me the greatest gift she could. Freedom. If it didn't, I had no idea what we would try next. "Okay. I'm ready."

Levi cleared his throat. "Stand totally still."

I froze.

I tried to move.

C'mon Little Bird, let's break free, let's throw these fucking strings in the bin and move! The ache appeared behind my eyes, but no movement came, still it hadn't immediately made my blood run from my nose like simple struggle did. So already it had dampened something. They all watched. Levi kept close watch, likely looking for signs of damage being done. Hanji was scribbling. Mikasa watched my hands, eyes narrowing as she likely wished for even the smallest twitch. And then in stepped Jean. He leaned against the far wall, eyes scanning me casually, bandaging still wrapped tight around his middle. And he smiled at me, softly, but warmly. Like he believed. Like he trusted. Heh. Thanks, Jean.

Little bird. Little Bird.

I tried to think of it in my mother's voice, of her lilting laughter, of the warmth of a summers day down by the water. Little bird. Come on! LITTLE BIRD! How she said I was always hopping about like a chick in the nest, so eager to get to the flying part. How I would twitter away to myself when cleaning. It annoyed Vincent, but it made Mother smile. Little Bird. Up before the dawn, watching from the window when the rains fell or dashing out into the sunshine when it cleared. Little. Bird. Little. Bird.

Hanji bit her lip. "Should we sto–"

"Wait." I begged, pushing it harder, making the word solid in my mind, like a tangible thing to hold onto. To pull myself free of the strings. Pain pinched behind my eyes. Damn it. Not yet. A little more. Little Bird. I know these words, and how safe they made me, how loved she made me feel, how much she hated him and his work. Please. Please. I trust these words, I believe in these words, I–

Warmth ran from my nose.

Levi stood. "Alright s–"

"Wait! I can… I can almost…" The strings were so tight at my throat, my neck, my spine. They didn't want to let go. Little Bird. LITTLE BIRD. Come on Mother, did you give me this gift of a key or not? Am I mad? Or did I find your loophole at long last? I kept pushing. Kept trying. There was nothing else for it, this wasn't a Titan to try and outrun, or gear to be sharpened, this was my own body. My own mind. I had to win this fight or else… Or else…?

"Robyn stop!" Levi struggled with the door, panic lighting in his gaze as the lock jammed.

I closed my eyes and focused on the words, the pain throbbing behind my eyes, warmth running faster from my nose, but I felt the answer. Like a rope, just out of reach. My fingertips brushing the strands of it. So close. A little more. I put my hands against my head, trying to dampen the pain somehow, but it just burned brighter. And then I heard her. Mother. Her laughter? Maybe. Or her singing. I wavered on the spot, but the answer was right there, my gut said so. Do it. Take the leap.

LITTLE BIRD.

Wait. Levi had said stop, and I didn't. It had… w-wo… work…ed?

The door screeched open. Levi ran forward. My world tilted.

The light dimmed.

"Robyn!"

I fell, like being submerged in cold water, I sunk further and further, but had absolutely no strength at all to fight it. And for some reason, fear didn't occur to me. Just drift. It's fine. You're fine. Either my mind was lying to me, or perhaps I really did have nothing to fear.

Was I dying? No idea. Doesn't matter…

Laughter. It bubbled past me and I turned, feet finding purchase at last. Grass tickled my ankles. Mother? Is that you? I followed the noise, like one might follow the smell of fresh baking, through a dimly lit house, the kitchen always so warm. In the summer, where the sunshine splashed through the windows, even the cold tiling grew a little more forgiving against my toes. First thing in the morning, before Vincent had scraped himself off the floor from another drunken night of madness. Me and mother. The warm kitchen. A fresh loaf baking in the oven, John burbling happily in his crib or sitting playing in his high-chair. Yes. Home? I suppose not anymore, but it had been then. Not the four walls, but them. Her. Mother.

I took a step.

I was upright?

I shivered and felt the non-solid ground beneath me, smelt non-real bread before me, heard the non-real laughter in front of me. Unless it was real. Unless I'd gone and died immediately and now was in some sort of heaven. That didn't seem right. But still, there it was, the image of that sunny kitchen clarifying before me. The tiles were under my wriggling toes. I was barefoot. I don't think I'd been willingly barefoot anywhere but my own quarters since… Well, since I had been a child. A child who's home hadn't burned down yet.

"My Little Bird." Mother smiled and held her arms out to me, her apron stained with some of her berry jam, and a small towel on her shoulder to use when taking things from the oven. A smudge of flour was on her cheek. Bright auburn hair curled to her shoulder in a braid, and her hazel eyes, a little darker than mine, shone bright. "You found us."

I stepped towards her, expecting to hug her around her middle like I had in so many dreams, so many memories. But no. I was my adult height. I had overtaken her by an inch or so, and I leaned down a fraction to hold her close. Sobs burned in my chest. I held tighter. She felt so real, so warm, so frail and yet so solid.

The word burned my tongue but also tasted so sweet my eyes watered. "Mother."

"My wonderful girl." She laughed, leaning back and cupping my face.

Maybe I had died, maybe this was simply an illusion brought on by some horrific brain-bleed, but I didn't care. She was there. I was there. She was smiling at me, alive and well. I hadn't seen her smile since my birthday, since he took it all and burned it to a crisp. For so long she had been a vague memory. A painful point of determination. But there she was, smiling, laughing, whole again.

She took me to the nearby chairs and pushed a cup of tea towards me. "You look well, strong."

"How's this–"

"Let's not trouble ourselves with how, let's just enjoy that it is." She winked and sipped her tea, blowing a kiss towards the burbling of John.

I hadn't dared look properly, in case this spell, dream, whatever, might be broken. But there he was. A little tubby still, baby fat making those rolls along his arms and neck. Those bright pink cheeks and that soft golden hair. He probably would have ended up with brown hair in a few years, like Vincent. But John's eyes were Mother's. Absolutely. I waved to him and he laughed, playing merrily.

My hands shook as I sipped the tea. She had given me sugar. "You broke his hold. You gave me an out."

"I had to do something." She sighed, closing her eyes. "And I was too afraid to leave, too scared of my own damned shadow I suppose. But I kept saying those words, coaxing them into you like he did, only with love instead of brutality. I couldn't even be sure it worked… Well, until that one night I managed to stop you working."

I frowned.

She smiled sadly. "He'd ordered you to scrub the kitchen floor, tile by tile. It had been hours, your hands were blistered from the brush and so dry from the soapy water. He was blackout drunk of course and so… I used my Little Bird phrase. It took a few tries, and it doesn't seem to be a perfect process… But you stopped. You cried. You thanked me and wailed, but I don't think you had the strength to remember any of it. Not once he'd drugged you the next morning." She hung her head and a few tears rolled down to patter against her apron. "Robyn… I am so sorry. Endlessly."

"You don't–"

"But I do." She snapped, looking at me with a kind of determination I don't think I'd ever witnessed from her in life, at least, not that I'd managed to register as a child. But there it was, my stubborn streak. I'd always thought it came from Vincent, but no, not entirely. That was a comfort. She took my hands and held tight. "I have a lot to apologise for. My foolishness in falling for him at all, in getting myself so deep in his clutches I didn't think there was a way out… And of course… The White Cloaks. I went to them thinking they could help, that they would save us…"

"Not really their style."

Mother laughed bitterly. "Evidently. And there you sit, enduring all of that, still able to smile at me and hold me close. My girl… My Little Bird… My wonderful Robyn. Thank you."

I jolted. "What for? I… I didn't save you, I only–"

"Darling, you were a child." She smiled so wearily, it was as awful as it was beautiful. "It was never your place to save me, or your brother. No, what I'm thanking you for is everything since. You have gone on and fought, so hard, against it all. And on top of that, you've even found a little happiness, haven't you?"

My heart ached. What was this? Did my mother actually manage to watch on? Had she seen how much I was loved by my family in the Scouts? Did she know how happy I had been as well as how hard I had struggled? From the look in those eyes, yes. Though admittedly, I sincerely hoped she hadn't seen everything – my darkest moments, my captivity, my uh… Well more intimate moments. It didn't matter. Focus.

"Yeah, I've found some happiness. Absolutely."

"I'm so glad." She put a hand to my cheek. "I love you so much, my girl. Truly. I failed you in so many ways, but I'm glad this at least worked."

I got up and pulled her into another hug. "You did what you could. You were as much his victim as I was."

She patted my back. "That is kind of you my darling, but as a mother I should have protected you. And in so many ways, it was you protecting me. I love you so much. I always will."

"And I love you." I mumbled against her shoulder, feeling our time draw to a close, not only through her tone, but the way the kitchen paled around us. "Is this real? Can I come back?"

She shrugged. "I know nothing more than you do, Little Bird. But go on, go home to those who adore you as much as me. And live. Don't just survive, live."

LEVI POV

She would have smacked into the ground if he hadn't lunged at the last second, catching her limp body, watching her eyelids flutter as her breathing quickened. But her nose had stopped bleeding at least. He scooped her up and took her to the bed, laying her down, accepting the cloth from Ackerman's hand, dabbing away the blood. Robyn's face was blank except the odd pinch of her brow or twitch of her lips, words almost formed, but then it just returned to panting.

But she had refused his order.

He said stop, and she didn't.

That had to mean something, even if he currently feared that she might never wake up. A few minutes passed and a pink tinge took to her cheeks, her whole face flushed as her panting continued. He reached to graze his hand along her forehead. Her skin was scorching. A fever had her in its grips. Medics were brought in and treatment was applied, but without an illness known it was a case of waiting and hoping.

An hour rolled by. Sweat rolled off her skin, her eyes fluttering left and right behind her lids, lips trembling with silent words. Her hands curled to fists, or scrambled at the sheets beneath, like she was trying to get purchase on something. He had tried to command her to wake, but nothing was getting through. They were powerless. The darkened veins hadn't got any worse at least, they even seemed to be paling at her palms, receding from her wrists. A good sign. Right?

Hanji was ready on her chair with her notepad, clinging to it like some knight from a story might to a shield. It had to be worthwhile. Right? It was another hour of long quiet, only broken by Robyn's panting breaths and occasional small cries, sometimes almost sounding like laughter. There was no telling if it was dreams, nightmares, memories, or all.

And then she stilled. It went so quiet Levi feared she had stopped breathing entirely, her body like a statue. He held his own breath. They all did. And a few moments later she frowned, she stirred, she blinked. She breathed. They all released their breaths, Ackerman slumping against the nearby wall and Hanji putting her head against her notepad. Relief.

Robyn moved, eyes raking over them all in turn and then stilling on Levi. Initially he feared it was confusion on her face, like she didn't know him, but then it cleared. She beamed. The last time he had seen her smile like that had been when he stepped out of the cell himself, freed. And before that, when he had been down on one knee, holding a simple ring. He couldn't help but smile softly in return.

He sat on his chair by her pillow. "How're you feeling?"

"I saw her." She blurted, putting her hands to her trembling lips afterwards.

"Her?"

"Y-Yeah. S'fucking stupid I know, but I saw her." Tears poured down her face and she struggled upright, accepting a cloth to dab at her face, trembling all over. "My mother."

Levi frowned and looked to Hanji, but the Commander was just furiously scribbling to get the details down.

He looked back to Robyn. "What do you–"

"It'll just be my subconscious or something, I know. But it was like she was really there. And she did it. She had to do something, and so she undermined his control." Robyn looked at her hands and laughed lightly, it growing till she was giggling loudly. "Mum you brilliant, brilliant fool."

"Robyn what–"

"Give me a command, and Mikasa! Mikasa, say Little Bird to me, afterwards."

"Okay…" Ackerman wrung her hands together.

Levi wasn't sure they should try again so soon, but something burning in Robyn's gaze made him agree. He said the phrase. The control took hold. He instructed her to lie back down in the bed. She struggled, looking with wide eyes towards Ackerman.

The girl came out from behind the scarf. "Little Bird."

Robyn winced and it took a couple more seconds, and another nosebleed, but she stayed upright. She took the cloth. She laughed. She threw her arms up in the air and cheered. They tried another command, but the control was broken. Nothing took. She had her own free will. They all stared, and Levi was fairly sure they all simultaneously thanked Mrs Sanshi.

Robyn could be free.

Cya next time!