When I had reached the tunnel leading to the Aerie, I had figured to take a nap in the clearing nearby. It had a house and a bed, but I didn't dare go near it. It was like there was something preventing me from even going near there, as my feet refused to move in that direction. So, I found the softest rocks I could and sat down to take a quick nap.
"You worthless piece of shit!" A man, whose form was so blurry I couldn't make it out. "I told you to do one thing, ONE GODDAMN THING AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT!"
"I'm sorry… I almost had it…" I shrunk back. The man's form came closer to me as I backed away, what I assumed to be his hand reaching out to grab my hair as tightly as possible. I struggled, crying as he pulled harder. Like he was trying to drag me away. I heard another voice, extremely muffled, and he threw me.
My head hit the counter as I stumbled. The linoleum met my skull and I heard a deafening crackbefore everything just went black.
I woke up with a start, body shaking and breathing heavily like I'd run a mile. Tears were forming in my eyes, and I could barely catch my breath. There was tightness in my chest as I tried to control my breathing and failed miserably. I could barley breathe, barely see. I was trembling and wanting to bury myself into the rock so no one would see me. No one would see what a wreck I'd become. I hoped Grimoire Weiss wasn't seeing this, because it was… awful.
But he did, as I could see his blurry form coming towards me. "Are you well…? Ah, what a daft question, it's obvious you're not."
"S-sorry…" I said, trying to make myself smaller. "Sorry… sorry… I'm sorry…"
"Easy, child. I am not mad at you." He floated over slowly, as if trying to approach a wounded animal. "I merely worry for your wellbeing, as that boy would be most cross if something were to happen to you."
"S…sorry…" I continued to shrink back, scared. Covering my head was the best bet, protecting myself was the best thing I could do right now. I felt like a child, who could barely even think straight, let alone form coherent sentences. Like a baby. Like a little baby who couldn't do anything right . I was so certain that Grimoire Weiss would hate me .
"Shionne, I want you to focus on me." I heard him say. I could barely even make him out through the endless torrent of tears, but I hoped I was facing him. "Try to take deep breaths and focus on my voice alone."
It was hard to take deep breaths, but I forced myself to. It slowly grew easier to breathe as Grimoire Weiss spoke to me. What he said, I could barely hear over the breaths I was taking. Forced deep breaths to calm myself down. It took about ten minutes for me to return to a "normal", but I was dreadfully thirsty. Taking out the waterskin I had, I drank a bit of it before putting it back in my bag and slowly, shakily standing up. Maybe it was best to continue forward.
"Are you feeling any better, lass?" Grimoire Weiss asked. I nodded. "Good. Might I ask what brought this on, then?"
"I.. had a strange dream that felt all too real." I responded. "I… guess it freaked me out a lot that I…"
"If you have trouble saying, then there is no need to respond." That was kind of him. I dusted myself off before noting someone landing nearby. Wearing what was… practically nothing. Her left arm and leg were bandaged, she was wearing heels and… my brain supplied the word lingerie , but I couldn't place it. But her right arm seemed to be… bleeding? Without even a thought, I moved over towards her.
"Ma'am…?" The woman's head turned almost immediately as I spoke. Her visible eye narrowed slightly, which made me want to recoil but I didn't. "Your arm's hurt, may I… tend to your wound?"
"I don't need your help." Came her terse reply. "It's fine."
"Clearly she has a lack of manners." Grimoire Weiss said.
"What was that, book ?" The woman turned fully to face us, and I noticed she had a weapon in her right hand. "Care to say that again?"
"Grimoire Weiss, don't antagonize her!" I said. "It's okay, ma'am. He's a little mouthy, but.. I promise he means well. As do I! Um…" I pulled out the bandages I kept on me for when either Nier or I got hurt doing errands for the villagers.. along with a salve that I'd bought just recently with leftover money. "I know you said you don't need my help, but I'd like to at least make sure you don't bleed all over that pretty outfit of yours."
That seemed to catch her off guard. "What the hell's your problem? I said I don't need your help!"
I flinched. The man's voice echoed in my head and I dropped the bandages and salve. My chest started to tighten up and my breathing started to quicken. My hands shook as I knelt down to get the items. Another… another person who…
Who hated me.
"I-I… just… w-want to… h-help… th-that's… that's…. a-all…" I could barely get the words out. "I-I h-h-ha-te… h-ha-te-... pe-peo-ple… b-b-eing… h-hu-rt…"
"Book, what's her problem?!" The woman snapped.
"It is a panic attack , you uncultured hussy!" Grimoire Weiss snapped back. "Your anger has caused yet another one when she has just gotten over the first!"
Their voices faded into the background. I don't know why, but all I could see was a blur as I shoved by the both of them and booked it away from the arguing. Away from the conflict. Away from the source. By the time I finally felt better, felt like a person again, I was face-down on the grass with the boar sniffing me. It huffed, nudging me with its snout and making me roll over. The sky was a slightly darker blue, meaning nighttime was going to be coming soon. I absentmindedly pat the boar's snout, not really paying attention to what I was doing.
It was peaceful. For now, at least. Sitting up, I stared at the tunnel I had come from and saw the woman and Grimoire Weiss headed my way. The woman's right arm was bandaged up, and she looked a bit put out as she came to a stop near me.
"Hey." The woman knelt down. "Look. I'm… sorry for fucking yelling at you, alright? I'm not used to people being so goddamn nice to me for no damn reason."
"Language!" Grimoire Weiss scolded.
"It's… okay, Grimoire Weiss, I've heard worse." Had I heard worse? I didn't recall. But the woman's language meant nothing to me. "I forgive you, ma'am."
"And stop with the ma'am stuff, alright? I've got a fucking name." The woman stood up, holding out her hand. "It's Kainé."
I took her hand and she helped me up. "It's… nice to meet you, Kainé. My name's Shionne. And this is Grimoire Weiss. We.. usually have another friend, but he's busy back in his village right now. Um, if it's okay, I'd like to ask a question!"
"...Go for it." Kainé said, a frown on her otherwise pretty face. Even though she wore barely anything and cussed like a sailor, she was still beautiful …
Where'd that come from?
"Do you know how to fight? If so, could… could you teach me how you fight? I'd like to be less useless, if possible…" I distracted those thoughts by asking the question I had wanted to ask since seeing her carry that sword. "I feel like a burden on my friend, so I'd like to fix that!"
"The first thing you ask me is… to train you." Kainé sighed. "Fine, but you better be fucking ready for the most goddamn brutal training of your life. And you better not tell me to go easy on her, book , or else I'm using you for a fucking campfire!"
"Dear heavens…" Grimoire Weiss twirled in midair.
"I'm ready!" I said. "Grimoire Weiss, you can rest easy. I'll be able to deal with this!"
My back hit the rocks hard, and I held in a cry of pain as I stood back up. When Kainé had said this training would be brutal, she meant it. I hadn't expected her kick to hit me in the chest, but here we were. Standing up as shakily as possible, I held my sword at the ready and lunged at her. As a handicap, she told me that I couldn't use "that damn book" to help me out after I explained the Sealed Verses.
Her swords clashed with mine, sending me skidding back but I went after her again. No letting up.
"Those goddamn Shades won't let up, so you can't either!" Kainé had practically shouted when we started training a while ago. Since then, she'd been on me like a Shade on Nier and I when we leave the safety of the Village. Never letting up, no matter how hard it was on me. Her fighting style had a grace to it, but to the untrained eye it looked wild and untamed.
It suited her perfectly.
I was getting the hang of her fighting style, learning her tells and learning just when she'll try to kick me. It took me a bit, but I was able to avoid a hit and use the dull edge of my blade to land a hit on her uninjured, but bandaged, arm. I didn't let that get to my head, though. Instead, I avoided the sword coming for me and parried the second sword before jumping back and putting down my sword. A show of surrender, to show that I was done for now.
Something we both talked about before starting the training.
Kainé let her swords disperse into a blue glow before walking over to me. "Not bad, but you're still fucking up at some points."
"Just started training.." I said, trying to catch my breath. "Is it… okay if I stay here for the night? I'll be quiet."
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just don't wake me." She said, heading over to the broken building where a bed lay. I went over to where I'd taken a nap before, finding the softest rock and leaning against it. Grimoire Weiss moved close to me, coming to rest near my face.
"Despite her foul language, she has been quite an adept teacher. I daresay you've improved over these past eight hours." He said. I just nodded until I caught what he said. Eight hours ? And Nier hadn't come–
….Nier hadn't come looking.
I felt disappointment. Instead of voicing it, I tugged at the scarf I wore. "Kainé's a good teacher, so that's probably why. Nier kept taking so long to teach me… but he's probably never just decided sparring was the perfect way to teach someone. I learn… more by doing, anyway, I think."
Nier hadn't come looking . That meant Popola told him it was better off without me. Devola, too.
"I suppose it'd be best to let you get some rest. After all, we don't know when the hussy'll awaken and wake you to train more." Grimoire Weiss said. "Have a pleasant night, Shionne."
"You too, Weiss." I said, letting myself get comfortable and falling asleep.
My sleep was dreamless, though I had woken briefly to someone carrying me. I couldn't make out who it was, so I had dropped back off to sleep almost immediately. By the time morning came, I had finally woken up from sleep and sat up, stretching. But as I blinked sleep from my eyes, I noticed where I was laying. It was the same bed Kainé had gone to last night, which meant…
She'd carried me here and then left, given how there was no sign of her. I picked up my sword after I got up and stretched, sheathing it properly and looking around. Grimoire Weiss came floating up not too long after I awoke.
"She left in the middle of the night." He told me. "And told me to tell you to 'Keep training'."
"I think you forgot a word." I teased. I knew he didn't curse as much as Kainé did, but at least I knew that he was delivering the message semi-properly.
"I did no such thing! Anyway, let us be off. Where shall we head to today, hm?"
"...I guess back to Nier's village, if I'm still allowed." I said, heading out of where Kainé's house was and back into the grasslands.
The boar from yesterday walked up and sniffed me a few times before huffing and bumping me with its snout. How odd. I gently reached out to it and pet its snout, which had it lower itself down for me to climb on.
What… a strange twist of events. I remembered talk from the village on how this boar was deadly , but it seemed harmless enough to me. So, I climbed onto its back and tucked Grimoire Weiss safely into my scarf despite his protests. Holding onto its fur, I nudged it a little with my heels and it took off towards the Village. The pace wasn't too fast, but Shades couldn't keep up with its strides. As it approached the village's entrance, it slowed to a stop and lowered itself so I could get off easily. Sliding off its back, I gave it a few pets for the ride and it left after bumping me with its snout again.
"That was… a different experience. Do not stuff me in your scarf again, however. That was unpleasant." Grimoire Weiss complained. I chuckled a little.
"Okay, I'll let you float all the way there next time." I said with a smile on my face. It turned to a somber expression as I headed towards the open gates of Nier's Village. Every step feeling heavier than the last. I was almost there when someone ran into me and sent me careening backwards. I heard the telltale smash of something, which… meant that something broke upon impact.
"Oh no, I'm sorry!" I said instinctively, going to help the person up. It was Nier that took my hand and stood up. The two of us kind of… stood there for a few moments, staring at each other until Nier hugged me . It was the tightest hug I'd ever had, which constricted my breathing. But I… stood there for a few moments, unsure of if I should return the hug or not.
"You're alive! You and Weiss are alive! We were so worried, Shionne!" Nier said, letting go. "When you didn't come back, Popola nearly had a fit. She kept saying that you were being reckless and Yonah kept asking after you-"
"Wait, Popola? Miss 'I don't like you' Popola? That Popola?" I asked, confused.
"Popola likes you! She's just really concerned since you don't have any of your memories, and I guess that came off wrong to you." Nier looked confused, too. "Where are you getting this idea that Popola doesn't like you?"
"...It's been in her body language, her facial expressions… The day we came back with Grimoire Weiss was the worst. She seemed so pissed at me that I just…"
"Ran." Grimoire Weiss supplied. "She ran because Popola instilled a fear in her she could not understand. She had the same reaction when she woke from a nightmare yesterday. It seems that there is something misaligned in Shionne's mind, though I cannot say what. All I can say is that it is easy to deal with."
"Aren't you smart." I poked his cover. "But yeah, I'm… back. Were you headed out?"
"I was. But now I need to go back and tell the guard I broke the gift. We can go tell Popola you're back, visit Yonah real quick and then you and Weiss can come with!" Nier said, pulling me along by the wrist and not giving me time to argue.
"Will you use my full and proper name, Nier?!" Grimoire Weiss asked.
"It's too much of a mouthful! Shionne might be able to do it, but I can't keep saying it all the time." Nier said.
The three of us entered the village. The guard had heard the commotion and ended up having us go to Popola first and deal with stuff in the town before he gave the replacement so it wouldn't break this time. Upon heading to the library, I felt dread fill me. What if Nier was wrong? What if Popola actually hated me and exiled me from the village?
Maybe I could stay with Kainé, if she'd let me.
Upon entering Popola's office, I saw her get up with an expression of concern before rushing over to me. Examining me and forcing me to sit down to take some medicine. She fussed over me for a few moments before asking Nier where I'd been. He just shrugged and told her that we'd met back up when I was coming back to the village. It was during this time that Popola took a comb to my hair and brushed it out from all the tangles and potential knots from my sleep yesterday.
It had hurt some, but Popola kept apologizing each time I made a pained noise. I could deal with being beaten within an inch of my life by Kainé… but hairbrushing? No thanks. It hurt, and I wasn't a fan of it.
Afterwards, we were sent on our way with a few salves and medicinal herbs. To go to the Aerie and talk to the village chief for Popola, which I found strange. From what I could recall that Devola told me at one point while I was recovering, the Aerie was closed off to others. Very closed off, in fact. They hated outsiders.
They hated Kainé.
I shook that thought out of my mind. Though rough and crass, Kainé wasn't all that bad. She just… had an image to maintain, that was all.
The three of us headed out of the village, with Nier getting a replacement package from the guard before we left fully. I took front so Nier didn't have to deal with another broken package. The map that Popola had given us showed that the place I'd come from was the entrance to the Aerie . So I knew exactly where we were headed. There was no cloud coverage, thankfully, so no Shades came out to attack us. It was just sheep, goats and the boar, though the boar didn't approach this time.
Was it scared of Nier?
That was okay, it could keep its distance if it wanted.
As we headed to the Aerie proper, the clouds started to converge. Grimoire Weiss and I used the Sealed Verses to clear the path, mainly so Nier could get to the chief's house and not have anything happen to him that would break the fragile cargo he carried. It was easier to clear them out after Kainé's training, which I combined with the usage of the Sealed Verses to make the path safer.
As we ran through the silent, steel village, the villagers spoke.
Blaming us.
Blaming Kainé.
Saying we were just like Kainé.
How could they hate her so? She didn't do anything to them, as far as I knew! But, regardless, we had arrived at our destination with the package intact. After Nier tried, and failed, to talk to the Village Chief, he left the package outside as ordered and we started to make our way back towards the Village.
"That was a bust." Nier said.
"Couldn't agree more." I nodded. I still wondered why they were blaming Kainé, and us by extension, for whatever was wrong with their village? If so, that meant they had decided that we were fully to blame. Not them, which made my head hurt.
This mess was all YOURS, you fucking cunt!
The voice rang through my head as I put my hand to it. Blaming us… because they were actually to blame? It seemed more than likely.
As we headed into the clearing, as Nier had seen some Lunar Tears. I remembered those flowers, but before I could tell Nier to not touch them, a familiar voice rang out.
"Hands off the flowers!"
Nier turned around and I looked over. Kainé had arrived not too long ago, it seemed. And no worse for the wear. I was excited to see her, but then Nier had to ask the stupidest question-
"Shionne, Weiss, why is that lady in her underwear…?"
My hand met my face. "I am so, so sorry about him, Kainé."
"You should've told him to not touch things he doesn't have a fucking right to." Kainé scolded me. I winced a little.
"To be fair, his sister went after some Lunar Tears just recently, so they reminded him of the time we had to go rescue her. Could you find it in you to forgive him just this once?" I asked. Kainé rolled her eyes and pulled Nier away from the flowers– and her house in general. Nier didn't seem to like that at all , as he started to freak out. Kainé dropped him almost immediately as he backed off and held himself tightly. He was shaking a lot , which told us that there was something bothering him.
"Nier?" I went to approach but he backed off. So instead, I gave him his space. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but then he looked at Kainé as he calmed.
"Don't… ever do that again. I can move myself." He said. Kainé scoffed, but she got the idea. "Just… ask me to move ."
"Nier, is everything okay?" I asked, slowly approaching him. "You can talk to me about it if you want…"
"It's… fine." Nier shook his head.
"Like hell it's fine!" Kainé drew the attention to her by snapping like that. "You fucking withdrew like Shionne did when that damn book and I were fucking arguing! So-"
"Kainé. Kainé." I held my hands up in a show of surrender. "Nier will tell us when he's ready. For now, we just have to give him space to breathe and not crowd him. So, come to us when you're ready, alright?"
He nodded. Just as he did, though, a strange sound reached our ears. The sound of a Shade .
Kainé's head turned and an indiscernible look crossed her face. The Shade, a huge one, climbed over the mountains. The three of us drew our weapons.
This… was going to be a fight.