AN: Content warning: Vague description of suicidal ideation. Won't be graphic in any way, but consider yourself warned. Additional notes at bottom.
Chapter 29
"Stay behind my barrier! Don't fire until you see them!" Ron shouted, holding a protego against the gap between two burned out buildings.
"Behind us!" Pip yelled.
"On it!" Luna yelled, projecting her own barrier behind them.
"Withdraw! We'll create a bottleneck over there!" Pip yelled. At once the unit picked up their heavy weapons and pulled back to where they'd been ordered, and Ron and Luna dropped their shields and followed. Ron cast another protego behind him as he slid on the ground under a toppled billboard.
"Fire!" Pip yelled as the Wild Geese opened fire with heavy machine guns, and NLAW man portable rocket launchers, splattering the ghouls that started flowing into the area once the barriers had dropped.
"Vampire!" Pip yelled, and the machine gunner raised his aim and caught the vampire mid-air, sawing it in half with blessed, silver rounds.
"Cease fire!" Pip yelled. They surveyed the battlefield, and as the smoke cleared they saw they'd killed all of the ghouls, and two of the three vampires.
"Where's the other one?" Ron asked.
"Right here." A vampire said from behind him. He turned and to his horror saw Luna desperately clutching ant her ruined throat as blood gushed freely from it, the vampire holding her a foot above the ground. The Wild Geese turned their weapons towards it and opened fire but the vampire was too fast and went from person to person ripping them apart. Once everyone had been neutralized, Ron raised his wand and had a flame cutter curse on his lips when it rushed forward and rammed its fist through Ron's torso.
"That's enough!" Zorin shouted, as she released the illusion. Everyone checked over themselves to ensure their injuries had in fact been imagined.
"Bloody hell that was intense!" Ron observed. Pip helped him to his feet,
"Zat is why it's so effective. You truly believe the situation is real." Pip said.
"You all did much better this time. You made two mistakes, one was bad situational awareness, that vampire should never have been able to get behind you. The second, you relegated the magic users to defensive roles exclusively. They're invaluable for support and offensive roles as well. I'd like you two to get with them and show them some more of what you can do. Especially pay attention to Ron, he worked with magical law enforcement, his job was to fight dark wizards and rogue vampires and werewolves." Zorin said.
"Understood. Thanks again." Pip said. Zorin nodded. She made her way into the Hellsing compound and traversed the distance to Harry's quarters. She knocked and he greeted her, and let her in.
"What's up, Beautiful?" Harry asked.
"I was wondering if you had any extra blood flasks. We just did illusion training, that drains me." Zorin said. Harry nodded, and reached in his coat.
"Huh.. Looks like I'm out. No matter." Harry said, he walked over to his sink and cleaned off his neck.
"Uh, Harry? I thought you only let Seras bite you." Zorin said. Harry shrugged.
"You're the mother of our adopted child, and one day will probably be the mother of one or more of my biological children. I love you and I trust you." Harry said. Zorin smiled and when Harry got to her she bit him. The normal Euphoria hit and she shivered at the sensation, it was stronger when she drank directly from him. She noticed he wasn't popping a blood replenisher so she detached.
"Harry, are you ok?" Zorin asked.
"Huh? Oh yeah. I found out a couple of days ago. I had Alucard try to drain me. He couldn't." Harry said.
"You what?!" Zorin demanded. Harry grinned.
"I had a medic supervising and taking my blood pressure every few minutes. It was a controlled and supervised experiment." Harry said.
"Sorry, I just pulled an Integra, didn't I?" Zorin asked sheepishly. He shook his head.
"You've witnessed me make that mistake before, your concerns weren't unwarranted. Go on, I'll start a tab." Harry said with a grin. She smiled and bit him again. She tried to ignore the images and feelings coming from him, but it was a lost cause. With that much blood directly from the source it was nearly impossible. She drowned in feelings of affection directed towards her, deeper affection and lust directed towards Seras, anticipation, nervousness, self-doubt, but under it all determination. In her mind's eye she saw a little blonde-haired girl with red eyes and Harry's crooked grin, along with an older girl with straight platinum blonde hair and vivid green eyes and glasses. She detached and looked at him curiously.
"How much did you see?" He asked nervously.
"I saw a couple of kids that I've never met, and felt affection, lust towards Seras, nervousness and self-doubt swimming in a sea of determination." Zorin said.
"Oh thank God. A stray thought about Seras and I.. anyway I'm glad that didn't make it through." Harry said. Zorin nodded but internally she was laughing. Some of it did make it through. She was hoping Rip was well rested when she got home.
"Who were the children, if you don't mind my asking?" Zorin asked. Harry looked behind her and walked across the room to shut the door.
"They aren't real... yet. Seras and I have started trying. Please don't tell anyone." Harry said.
"Oh my god! That's amazing I'm so happy for you!" Zorin said, rushing forward and hugging him. Harry smiled.
"I'm working on the self-doubt you felt. Never can really shake the fear that I'll be a bad father, you know?" Harry said. Zorin looked at him incredulously.
"Harry I've seen you with Schrodinger, you're more patient than Rip and I when he's in one of his moods, and you treat Integra like a queen. You're going to do amazingly. When you hold Hermione's twins you look at ease and natural." Zorin observed. Harry sighed.
"I know. I just didn't have a good role model. My dad would have been amazing, but Vernon.. nope. Not going down that rabbit hole again." Harry said. Zorin nodded. She was confident Harry would share that when he was ready.
"Have you got any names picked out?" Zorin asked, immediately regretting it as soon as she asked.
"Harry Jr 4: Harry Takes Manhattan." Harry said with a grin. He deftly dodged pillow Zorin threw at him.
"Ok you're sure about this..." Rip said. Harry nodded.
"I am, are you?" Harry said. Rip nodded reluctantly.
"When you're in there, just concentrate on language. I'll concentrate on trying to absorb the information." Harry said. Rip nodded again, and when he gave the go ahead, she dissolved into an orange mist and entered into Harry through his eyes. It was disorienting to see through a different set of eyes. She looked up at Zorin who was staring at him nervously and she grinned, and gave her a thumbs up. Then she focused inward and concentrated on speaking to Zorin in Italian.
"Du bist in Harrys Augen genauso schön" Rip said through Harry. Zorin blushed and smiled.
"Huh, that was German. I wanted Italian, let me try again. Rip said
"Sei altrettanto bella agli occhi di Harry." Rip said.
"There we go." Rip said happily. She went to say something else when she was drawn unwillingly into a living nightmare. It was less than a second in reality, but for Zorin she watched from the outside as some of the worst parts of Harry's life played out in front of her. She pulled hard to escape but it drew her back in.
She saw a barely coherent string of events involving a large man hurting Harry repeatedly, him being cradled by a tall man with black hair, crying his eyes out in front of a filthy looking cupboard. Next the memory warped into being bitten by a giant snake.
"The basilisk!" Rip thought to herself. The image dissolved and warped into Harry hiding behind the same man with dark hair as Remus transformed in front of them, and a small fat man transformed into a rat and ran away.
That image gave way to one of Harry underwater, almost driven to tears looking at what to him looked like the drowned corpses of a little blonde girl, Hermione, Ron and a pretty Asian girl. Harry rushed forward before the image collapsed, turning into Harry reappearing in front of a large gathering of people, hunched over a corpse and crying.
Next she saw Sirius falling through the veil, himself maiming a smaller version of Draco whom she'd met when they took over the government with a horrible looking curse, then Harry straining to pull open a barred dungeon door as he heard Hermione screaming, then the man with black hair from before dying and staring into his eyes.. his mother's eyes..
She saw Harry sitting on a pile of rubble bawling his eyes out after Minerva told him which of his friends had died, Harry torturing a stupid looking vampire in a track suit, Seras getting her arm ripped off and finally the worst of them all. Harry barely containing his sorrow as he incinerated thousands of ghouls in London. Finally, Rip was able to wrench herself out of his body.
She coalesced into her normal form and stared horrified at Harry.
"מה לא בסדר?" Harry asked.
"You spoke Hebrew!" Zorin said excitedly. Harry ignored her, and sighed.
"Come here, Rip." Harry said, opening his arms. She lurched forward and bawled into his shirt.
"What's wrong?" Zorin asked rushing over.
"She must have seen some of my 'adventures'" Harry said sadly.
"It was awful!" Rip said. Harry kissed the top of her head.
"I'm so sorry, Rip. I shouldn't have done this it was a mistake." Harry said.
"Harry, stop it! You warned me, you've told me some of what you'd been through. I agreed to do this, remember?" Rip said, still shaking.
"And I let you do it. God I can be such an idiotic ass some times." Harry said.
"Harry if I didn't think I'd knock your head off I'd slap you right now. We are your friends, we help you carry your burdens." Zorin said. Harry shrugged.
"It's just hard. I know what I just exposed her to, I lived through it. The idea of giving that to someone else.." Harry said.
"Zorin is right, Harry, this is a burden I am proud to help you bear. I will be calm in a few moments, you have had to learn to deal with it after experiencing it first hand." Rip said. Zorin looked at Harry with grim determination.
"Harry, let me in." Zorin said.
"No!" Harry said.
"We will help you carry this burden. I can give you my knowledge about military tactics and weapons." Zorin said.
"I can't do this to you... look at how it affected Rip.." Harry said.
"You're going to need one of us to help you build up defenses so that Schrodinger doesn't see it. Wouldn't you do the same for me?" Zorin asked. Harry's lower lip trembled.
"Damn you. Fine." Harry said, glaring at her.
Zorin exploded into a purple mist and entered through his eyes. She felt an overwhelming wave of despair and it took everything to push through it. She concentrated on her knowledge of firearms and small unit tactics, and it seemed almost like she could feel Harry relax as he assimilated the knowledge. She then concentrated on her love and admiration for Harry, and that had been the wrong thing to do. Fear, terror, pain, and images flew by her at light speed. Beatings, starvation, nearly freezing to death when Vernon kicked him out of the house during the winter, being hit with the cruciatus curse, the feeling of Ron betraying him during fourth year and while on the run from Voldemort, the terror of standing and looking Voldemort in the eye, waiting to die. Horror at arriving on the zeppelin and seeing her on the verge of death.
And then she stumbled upon what was likely Harry's darkest secret. After Sirius went through the veil, Harry writing five similar letters on parchment, one addressed to Hermione, one to Ron, one to Remus and one to Dumbledore and finally one to Minerva. They were goodbye letters, accompanied by a strong desire to tell his beautiful white owl to deliver the letters, then walk outside and wait... for Voldemort.
Zorin's heart was breaking. The thought of someone so precious to her, so beautiful, someone who suffered gladly for the ones he loved, coming that close to giving up. It was through a monumental force of will that Zorin shoved her despair aside, and concentrated again on how much she loved Harry, how much they all loved him. She pushed out the sense that she was glad to know him, and that he would never face that darkness alone again.
She pushed herself out of Harry and saw him staring at her confused. Zorin wanted to flee the room and vomit, it had been nearly too much for her to witness. Instead of gaining an understanding of her best friend's personality she couldn't reconcile it. This man, someone less than half her age had endured far worse than one should ever expect to. Despite it, he was the warmest, kindest, most thoughtful man she had ever known. She stayed, though and smiled warmly at Harry.
"You'll never be alone again Harry. You'll never have to face any of this alone. You've given so much to all of us, let us give you this. Please." Zorin begged. Harry broke down and cried in both of their arms. Intellectually he understood that his friends loved him, he could even feel it. He felt loved, and cared for, and worried about, but until this moment he felt that in some ways he would always stand alone. Zorin had disabused him of that notion, and it was almost too much for him to bear.
AN: I couldn't find the phonetic spelling for "What's wrong?" in Hebrew so I just used hebrew script. Also I only speak English and a little Spanish. Leaning a lot on google translate in this fic.