Episode 17
New Heroes
"We've got a pair of new visitors claiming to be heroes arriving from Remnant." Double D announced, making everyone turn to the portal.
The new arrivals stepped out, revealing themselves to be…
"Cardin?!" Jaune gaped.
"Neo!" Team RWBY shouted, reading their weapons.
It was indeed Cardin Winchester and Neopolitan, both of them each carrying two body bags.
"You know them?" Double D asked, turning off the portal.
"We know them, but they are not heroes." Yang answered, pointing at Neo. "Especially her."
"Guess again, Blondie." Neo, to the shock of everyone actually spoke. "Cardin and I were recently named heroes after we did something so heroic, we got a full pardon for all the bad stuff we did past, present and future."
"What was that?" Ruby asked.
"We killed the post Volume 3 versions of you guys." Cardin answered, gently placing the two body bags he was carrying on the ground with Neo following the suit. "You know, the post Oum versions that became even bigger losers than you could ever hope to be?"
Team RWBY paused before Ruby spoke. "You mean the ones who were massive hypocrites that got off easy because the writers wanted to make everyone worse? Like how I followed the pattern of lying to our friends but decided it was okay just because I found out my headmaster and my mom was a liar too?"
"And made me an ungrateful bitch to Sun who I was starting to like but suddenly turned into Yang's fangirl, following her around like I did with Adam which kind of defeated the purpose of me leaving him?" Blake asked.
"And made me the worst sister on the planet because I was too busy pining for Blake, scolding everyone for keeping secrets when I was doing the same thing and even went behind their backs but blamed Ruby for it? And for some reason I didn't care that my sister literally tried to commit suicide?" Yang questioned next.
"And made me change into a cheer leader for everyone while suddenly pining for Jaune just because he looked like my grandfather?" Weiss asked last.
"Wait, what?" Jaune glanced at Weiss who waved him off.
"Moving on!"
"Yep. Those losers!" Neo answered, hands on her hips. "The author was so impressed that they gave me a voice! I finally am able to talk now! And unlike last plot armor of Volume 9, I just did it the old-fashioned way!"
Ruby glanced at her friends before putting her Crescent Rose away. "Okay, that checks out."
"Need any help with the bodies?" Blake asked, following suit.
"And just how did you manage it without plot armor?" Yang asked, looking impressed.
"It was easy, ladies. They welcomed death!" Cardin answered with a smile. "They wanted out!"
Xxx
Gravity Falls Plane
"Kids, this is going to be the money shot that will make us rich!" Stan Pines said with a confident smile.
His granddaughters had different ideas about it though.
"Grandpa, maybe if you stopped and listened we can explain why you shouldn't do this." Frida said.
"Yeah, you're ripping off of someone else's work." Zoe commented. "I know it's funny coming from villains in training but there's a line between brilliant and stupid no matter the profession."
"Trust me, it will work." Stan said confidently and called out. "You ready, Dipper?"
Dipper was sitting on a boke that had a propeller attached to the front of it and around six sets of plane wings attached above one another.
Like the first airplane ever created…
"You know…I read somewhere that this didn't work out." Dipper muttered.
"All right, let her rip!" Stan said and Dipper peddled, causing the propeller to spin.
Dipper was able to get several feet forward before the entire contraption collapsed and flung him through the air and he landed face first in a tree hole.
Inside he looked to see several…miniature elves looking they belong on a cereal box.
"All right, we attack the Rice Krispy guys at dawn." The lead elf pointing down on the map. "Assuming Judd Hirsch delivers the goods."