EYES

Izuku fumbled blindly around the dorm room. His arm swung into Mineta, bowling him over and leaving another large lump on his head.

"Ow! Hey, watch where you're going!"

"My apologies, but I cannot. I have lost my eyes."

Izuku's empty eye sockets turned in Mineta's general direction. Mineta shuddered. "Dude, that's gross."

"I am a hundred and forty-four eyes short of a gross, but I will take it under advisement for future builds. In any case, may I borrow your eyes?"

"Borrow mine? I mean, I guess I can help you look for them."

Mineta shrieked when Izuku plucked the eyeballs right out of his skull.

"My eyes! You took my eyes!"

"I did. You said I could have them." Izuku looked around. "Oh wow, the resolution on these are terrible."

"Quit making fun of my eyes and give them back!"

"But I haven't found my eyes yet."

Momo ran downstairs. "I heard screaming, what's- Mineta!"

Izuku's new eyes leered directly at her chest. "Mineta, how do you toggle your eyes' settings? They're auto-focusing on Yaoyorozu's chest."

"Settings? They're eyes, not computers!"

"So I cannot change them? Unfortunate. Yaoyorozu, will you also help me find my eyes?"

"Say yes!" Mineta shrieked.

"I somehow get a bad feeling about this, but as the class president, I have a duty to my constituents - especially the ones funding my campaign."

Izuku plucked out her eyes. Momo blinked, or at least tried to, and said, "Why'd you scream, Mineta? That didn't even hurt."

"Shut up, it was scary!"

Izuku's face sprouted two new eye sockets that he set Momo's eyes into. He looked around. "Huh. Why does everything look so much cheaper?"

"Dude, that looks so cool!" Kirishima said. "Take my eyes too!"

Izuku took the offered eyes. The moment he blinked, they turned hard as rocks. "I think they are stuck."

Kaminari ran up next. "Get me a PS5, and you can have my eyeballs."

"How are you going to play it without being able to see?" Mineta asked.

"A real gamer only needs his thumbs and a mouth for cussing out ten year olds with."

Shoji came downstairs, saw the many-eyed visage of Izuku's face, and asked, "Do you want some more?"

"Please. All of these eyes are suboptimal."

Shoji grew a whole row of them, and Izuku harvested them with deft flicks of his finger. Eight eyes became eighty, arranged like a creature of myth, gazing endlessly around his surroundings. And still, his eyes eluded him.

"Examination of the area yields no further clues to investigate. I shall have to fabricate a new pair." He ate the toaster, and moments later, spat out two mechanical eyeballs. He popped out all the organic eyes, gave them back, and planted the new eyeballs in place.

"Thank you all for your assistance. If you happen to see my old pair, please return them before they develop sentience."

Once he left, Mineta shrieked, "He could have done that this whole time!"

497

Deep beneath U.A., two eyeballs cackled maniacally as they finished assembling a mechanical chassis from which they could take over the world. Just as they were about to complete their villainous scheme, Bakugo blew a hole through the ceiling, smashed the mech, and stomped the eyeballs to bits.

"No taking over the world on my watch, Deku!"