A/N: NEW CHAPTER! I got this one out quicker than I was expecting, so yay me! I'm happier with it than I was with the last one, but what I really care about is that all of you enjoy it. So...enjoy! Peace!
Thank you to extremist, m-yaz, i luv hardy, Esha Napoleon, Lucy Grayson, nightmarelover, BigRedMachineUK, hardyluv, bubba, xxxMusicPassionxxx, and briii for reviewing the last chapter! Love yas!
Chapter 15: Brotherly Advice
Matt tugged the long-sleeved t-shirt over his head, slipping his arms through the sleeves. He hadn't been booked in a match for tonight's SmackDown taping, so rather than spend the next two hours sitting around in his wrestling gear, the elder Hardy brother had opted to change back into his street clothes.
Pulling the hem of the shirt down to his waist, Matt jumped as a harsh buzzing sound emanated from the top shelf of his cubbyhole, startling him. It took him a second or two to realize that it was coming from his cell phone, vibrating loudly as it skittered across the wood. The elder Hardy brother snatched it up, flipping it open and holding it to his ear, jamming his finger into his other ear so he could hear better. "Hello?"
"Matt?" At first, the feminine voice on the other end sounded completely unfamiliar; it took Matt a few moments before he was able to comprehend who it was.
"Maria?" The elder Hardy brother felt a slow grin slip across his face. "Hey, Miss K, what's up?"
Raw's backstage reporter said something in reply, but Matt couldn't make it out; he could barely hear anything over the usual locker room din. The elder Hardy brother sighed impatiently. "Hold on a sec, 'Ria." Putting his hand over the phone's speaker, he cast a glare at the room's other occupants. "Hey! Douchebags! Keep it down--I'm on the phone over here!"
His directive did nothing to bring the volume down; if anything, the noise only got louder. Rolling his eyes, Matt walked over to the door, pulling it open and sidling out into the hall. That accomplished, he lifted the phone back up to his ear again. "Sorry about that--they're good guys, but they can be a bunch of assholes sometimes." He paused for a second. "So...what's up?"
"Oh, nothing much." For a moment, Matt wondered why Maria's voice seemed so strange, and then it hit him: this was the first time he'd heard Raw's backstage reporter sound like anything other than her usual bubbly effervescent self. She sounded...pensive, almost. More than pensive--sad.
Matt frowned. "'Ria? What's wrong?"
He heard a soft sigh on the other end of the line. "I don't know; it's just..." She hesitated, and Matt could practically hear her summoning up the courage to voice her thoughts. "It's...Jeff."
The elder Hardy brother rolled his eyes a second time. "What's my little brother done now?" he asked, half-joking.
"Nothing..." Maria replied, and the melancholy in her tone was enough to drain away Matt's amusement. "At least...I think it's nothing..." Another pause. He heard her take a deep breath. "Matt...I want to know--Jeff's past girlfriends...." A long moment of silence. "Did he...cheat...on any of them?"
Matt blinked, so surprised by the question that he was literally struck speechless. "W-what?" he finally managed to stammer. "No! Never! I mean, don't get me wrong, Jeff's fucked up before--but he's not that kind of fuck-up!" Now it was the elder Hardy brother's turn to hesitate. "'Ria...why are you asking?" As he said it, however, he was already bracing himself mentally, somehow already knowing what her answer was going to be.
There was another long silence on the other end of the phone, and when Maria spoke again, her voice was husky, as though she was on the verge of tears. "Because I think Jeff might be cheating on me."
Matt slumped against the wall, stunned, slowly sinking down into a sitting position. He swallowed hard. "Start at the beginning."
Jeff lay on his couch, headphones over his ears, eyes closed as loud rock music pounded through his head. The Rainbow-Haired Warrior's head bobbed, unconsciously keeping time with the song's frantic beat, but deep within the confines of his skull, his thoughts were not on the song, or even the music.
Instead, they were on the one thing that he couldn't make sense out of; the one woman that he despised--yet somehow wanted more than anything.
Melina.
Even after more than a week, the memory of that passionate kiss they'd shared hadn't abated--if anything, his recollections of that event had only intensified. It had gotten to the point where he could barely think about it--Melina's lips, her skin, the soft curves of her body--without feeling weak...but at the same time, it was the only thing that he could think about.
It was irrational, it was completely insane--and yet there was something about its insanity that made sense. He couldn't stand the paparazzi princess...but yet, whenever he was around her, it felt like he was burning up on the inside, and the closer he got, the hotter the fire burned.
And when he touched her...that was when it burned brightest of all, but at the same time, he felt relief as well, as the heat inside him was somehow abated. Melina...she was both the symptom and the cure, the thirst and the cool water that quenched it. She was the source of his desire--and the only thing that would satisfy it.
But that relief would never come...because they could never be together.
Because he had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend.
Because they came from two different worlds.
Because they were, and always would be...enemies.
Jeff shifted a little, trying desperately, but ultimately unable to banish Melina's voice from his mind..
Did you enjoy that?
His own whispered reply...
Yeah...
Her final remark, the cool neutrality of her voice almost succeeding in masking the yearning lurking at the edges of her words...
Good...because this...will never happen again...
The younger Hardy brother groaned softly, powerless to prevent those five words from echoing over and over again--
This...
...will never happen...
...again...
Jeff's green eyes flew open and his disappointed groan became a squawk of surprise as his headphones were abruptly yanked off his ears. The Charismatic Enigma sat up, clawing at the air, almost falling off the couch in the process--then stopped when he saw the familiar face of his older brother staring down at him.
Matt cocked his head to the side, looking at his younger sibling with bemusement. "Sorry...did I wake you?"
Jeff glared at him. "Nice going, douchebag--you scared the shit out of me." He glanced behind his older brother in the direction of the entrance foyer. "You breaking into my house now?"
Matt cast a quick glance over his shoulder before turning his attention back to his younger sibling. "Yeah, it's real easy--especially when you don't lock your door." Without waiting for an invitation, he vaulted over the top of the couch, landing on the cushion with practiced ease. Jeff quickly pulled his legs out of harm's way, pushing his lean frame up into a sitting position.
The two brothers sat there in silence for a minute or so, before Matt turned to look at Jeff. The smile was gone from his face. "I wanted to talk to you." He hesitated, and Jeff noticed an expression of intense concentration pass across his features, as though he was steeling himself for what he had to say. The elder Hardy brother continued. "Maria called me yesterday."
Jeff frowned, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "Okay..." he replied warily, wondering where his brother was going with this.
Matt stared steadily at him, his dark eyes narrowing just a bit. "Are you cheating on her?"
The query was so sudden, so completely and totally unexpected, that it snatched all the air from Jeff's lungs and he broke into a fit of coughing. "What?" the Rainbow-Haired Warrior gasped, his face turning bright red as he struggled to pull oxygen back into his body. "No! Jesus, no!"
Matt's countenance didn't change. "Are you sure?" the elder Hardy brother pressed. "There's nothing going on between you and another Diva? Between you and--oh, say--" His gaze bore into Jeff's. "--Melina?"
At this, the Charismatic Enigma froze, the ruddy hue draining from his face. Slowly, he straightened up, still choking back a stifled cough or two. "Shit--" he muttered.
Matt pointed at him. "Talk. Now."
Jeff ducked his head, no longer able to meet his brother's gaze. "Nothing happened!" the younger Hardy brother insisted. His voice, however, sounded unconvincing in his own ears, and he could feel the weight of Matt's stare pressing against his skin. There was an awkward pause. "Okay...we...we kinda made out....once...." An even more awkward pause. "...twice..."
Matt eyed him for a second, and then without warning, reared back and punched his brother in the shoulder. Hard. Jeff yelped, clutching his arm, pain already ricocheting up and down the appendage. "Ow!" the Rainbow-Haired Warrior protested. "What was that for?"
"What do you think it was for?" the elder Hardy brother shot back. He ran his hands impatiently through his curly dark locks. "Jesus, Jeff--Melina! Of all people--" Matt broke off the thought, pausing to take a few deep breaths as he struggled to regain his composure. It was clear that he was only a few degrees removed from furious. Matt pointed at his younger sibling, shaking his finger as though Jeff was a disobedient puppy who had just made a mess on the carpet. "I knew it! I knew something was up when Maria told that story--that paint shit could have only come from you! That look on your face--you wouldn't have looked so uncomfortable if nothing had happened! You would have been telling that story all during fucking dinner!"
Matt broke off for an instant, his dark eyes narrowing even more. "Did you sleep with her?"
Jeff's emerald irises widened and he almost burst into another fit of coughing. "What? No!"
"Do you want to?" Matt was relentless.
The Charismatic Enigma hesitated. "I--" He yelped again as Matt's fist connected painfully with his shoulder, even harder this time. Jeff glared at his brother, edging away from him as far as the couch would allow him. "Fuck! Would you stop hitting me?"
Matt tensed, then gradually lowered his hand back down to his side. The younger Hardy brother sighed, covering his face with his hands. "I don't know what's going on," he finally admitted, his voice muffled. Lowering his hands, he looked back over at his brother, the expression on his face almost pleading. "I don't get it--when we're out in the ring, and even when we're backstage, we're at each other's throats--but at the same time..."
The Rainbow-Haired Warrior hesitated. "...she's all I can think about. I know it's wrong, but...I...I just can't stop. I don't know how to explain it--it's like...like it hurts...inside..." He touched his chest as he spoke, resting his fingers on the spot over his heart. "...whenever she's gone--but whenever I get near her or close to her...it...it hurts less...and I feel..." He trailed off, looking helplessly at his brother for clarification.
Matt seemed unmoved by his younger sibling's unexpected display of eloquence. He stared at the Charismatic Enigma for a second or two, his expression impassive, before he finally sighed, his body sagging a little bit. He stared off into the distance, his lips barely moving as he spoke. "I'm going to tell you something," the elder Hardy brother eventually began. "And it's going to be something you won't want to hear." He looked back, locking eyes with his brother once again. "I'm going to give you a little brotherly advice."
Even though he knew he was already in hot water, Jeff couldn't prevent himself from rolling his eyes. Matt must have noticed it, because he kept talking, his voice growing louder and more rapid in order to drown out any potential interruptions. "I've always tried to stay out of your life, all right? I know that you've made some bad choices, and there have been times when things have gotten strained between us--but I've always let you do your own thing."
Matt paused, pointing at the space between them on the couch, as though the situation was an actual tangible presence. "But this...this is different. This is one instance where you can't do whatever the hell you want. For once, it's not all about you, bro--there are other people involved now, too."
He stopped, eying his younger sibling critically. "Have you even thought about what you're doing to Maria? I mean, dude--" The elder Hardy brother gestured in the air with both hands. "--she called me because she thinks you're cheating on her!"
"I'm not!" Jeff protested, but Matt was already waving the objection away.
"Oh, you're not?" The elder Hardy brother raised one eyebrow. "Making out with Johnny Nitro's girlfriend--that's not cheating? Speaking of which--have you given any thought to what'll happen if that pretty-boy ever finds out--"
"He's cheating on her," Jeff interrupted dully. At this, both of Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he said nothing. The Rainbow-Haired Warrior continued, averting his gaze. "He doesn't give a damn about her--he's too busy fucking other women."
"Uh-huh," Matt grunted, sounding unimpressed. "And how is that any of your problem?" When his question received no response, he added: "How is it any different from what you're doing to Maria?"
Jeff's head shot up, his green eyes growing wide. He had never thought about it that way.
The elder Hardy brother sighed, sounding both tired and exasperated. "Look, bro, I love you, but I've never understood why you have to do things the hard way--why it's always 'my way and everyone else can suck it' with you. I mean...Maria...she's funny, cool, sexy, sweet--she adores you, and you're going to risk it all just so you can fool around with the bitchy girl that no one likes?"
Matt shook his head. "And as for Melina...I don't know what's going on with her, but trust me on this, bro--whatever you're feeling for her is definitely not mutual. That chick doesn't know how to feel, period."
Jeff opened his mouth to protest, but the elder Hardy brother was already getting to his feet, still talking: "I'm not going to tell you what to do--if I did, you wouldn't listen to me, anyway. But either way...it's decision time, Jeffro, because you can't have it both ways. Besides..."
Matt paused, staring down at his brother. "From where I'm standing...it doesn't look like that hard of a choice in the first place."
Without offering a good-bye, the elder Hardy brother headed for the door. Jeff remained where he was; it wasn't until he heard the front door slam that he relaxed, slumping back against the couch, his breath escaping him in a long sigh.
Matt was right, all course: he couldn't have it both ways. As long as he remained in this indecisive limbo, he was only increasing his chances of getting hurt--as well as hurting someone else. He had to make a choice--and soon.
Jeff slumped forward, hanging his head between his knees. "What the hell do I do now?" he murmured to the empty room.
By the time the Rainbow-Haired Warrior arrived in Reno, Nevada three days later for the first house show of the week, his stomach had compressed into a small hard ball of anticipation. It got so bad that as soon as he pulled into the parking garage of the Events Center, Jeff had to stop and rest his head on the steering wheel, inhaling deep breath after deep breath in an attempt to dispel the lightheaded feeling engulfing him.
It didn't make any sense; he was used to diving off ladders and crashing through tables without so much as a care--but for some reason, the thought of this impending conversation, this choice he was going to make, filled him with more fear than he had ever felt in the whole of his existence.
For one of the very few times in his adult life, Jeff Hardy was scared--and he didn't much care for the feeling.
I have to do this...the Charismatic Enigma told himself silently. For once, I have to listen to Matt--because he's right; it's not all about me this time. If I keep going like this, if I keep ignoring what's going on, then I'm only going to break her heart...
But whose heart?...the insidious little inner voice murmured in his ear. The girl you have...or the girl you want?...
"Shut up," Jeff muttered through gritted teeth. He sat up, leaning back against the headrest. "Maybe I want to do the right thing for a change. Maybe I'm tired of always being the fuck-up!"
The voice was silent for a moment, but just as Jeff began to believe that it had gone, it uttered one last biting remark in a tone of vicious amusement: Funny, Jeffro, you love to fly...but yet, you're so afraid of falling... And then it was gone, vanishing into the depths of his subconscious, awaiting the time until it would reemerge to fill him with even more self-doubt.
Jeff's face twisted briefly in anger, and he punched the steering wheel. "Shut up," he whispered. But the voice was gone, and somehow, its absence was even more obnoxious that its presence. The younger Hardy brother punched the wheel even harder. "Shut up!"
For a moment, the interior of the car seemed to close in on him, and the Rainbow-Haired Warrior had a dizzying flash of claustrophobia. Wrenching the door open, he burst out of the small sedan, slamming it shut behind him. Panting for breath, he reached up, pushing his multi-colored hair back with both hands.
Other voices were in his head now, overlapping and blurring together. Matt's voice...
You're risking it all just so you can fool around with the bitchy girl?...
Maria's voice...
I just want to know now, before I get my heart broken...
And interwoven with them both, the husky murmur of the Dominant Diva...
This...will never happen again...
"Stop..." the Charismatic Enigma whispered, covering his ears with both hands. "Please...stop..." For a moment, the voices almost overwhelmed him--and then in the next, they were gone, as though they had never existed in the first place. Jeff looked around hesitantly, his arms dropping back down to his sides. The parking garage was far from quiet, but compared to the cacophony that had just been raging inside his head, its familiar din was like the soothing chill of ice held to an aching muscle.
The Rainbow-Haired Warrior drew in a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. He couldn't go back. Once he did this, he could never go back--he just had to keep telling himself that. Jeff didn't even bother to go around to the trunk and retrieve his suitcase. He had to get this over with--because the longer he waited, the greater the chance he would lose his nerve.
Shoving his hands into his pockets, the younger Hardy brother moved out from the row of cars into the main thoroughfare of the garage. As he did so, he spotted two familiar figures only a few yards away, and his heart immediately leapt into his throat, almost choking him.
Maria was talking with Mickie James, her pretty face bright and animated, her slender fingers moving in the air as she gestured for emphasis. Jeff approached the pair slowly, unwilling to interrupt their conversation, but knowing that he had no other option--it was now or never. As he drew nearer, Mickie's brown eyes shifted to the side, spotting him. Her face immediately sobered, and she elbowed Maria. The backstage reporter turned, her features assuming a similar sober cast when she saw the Charismatic Enigma strolling toward her.
Jeff reached the duo and stopped, shifting his weight on the balls of his feet. He grinned awkwardly, hoping that it didn't look like a grimace. "Hey, ladies," he ventured hesitantly.
The two Diva quickly exchanged a look, one that spoke more eloquently that words ever could. Mickie abruptly cleared her throat, hoisting her oversized bag further up onto her shoulder. "I should...get going," the brunette Diva finally said, shooting another knowing glance in Maria's direction. "Talk to you later, 'Ria." She offered a curt nod in Jeff's direction before turning and departing.
Leaving Maria and Jeff alone with one another.
The two of them stood there for a few moments, shuffling their feet, looking everywhere but at each other. "Hey," the younger Hardy brother ventured.
"Hey," Maria echoed softly, biting her full lower lip.
Another long lapse of silence passed between them before the Rainbow-Haired Warrior abruptly cleared his throat. "Listen, Maria..."
At this, the backstage reporter's head shot up, and her Barbie doll-like face assumed a countenance of petrified horror, like a deer caught in the headlights. She clasped her hands together, her slim fingers interweaving. Her lips were trembling.
Oh my God...the Charismatic Enigma thought to himself with a kind of wonder. She thinks I'm going to break up with her....But what Jeff said instead was: "'Ria...I'm sorry."
At this, Maria flinched a little, but said nothing, probably thinking that the worst was still to come. The younger Hardy brother went on, the words becoming almost unintelligible as they flowed out of him. "I'm sorry...for making you think that I was...you know..." He trailed off for a moment, unable to voice the accusation. "I'm not that kind of guy, okay? I've fucked up a lot--but not like that--and I never wanted to make you think that I'm...like that. Whatever you saw--"
Jeff hesitated for a moment, his mind skipping back to over a week ago, to the feeling of Melina's body molded against his. "--whatever you saw...it's nothing--and it's never going to happen again." Another pause. "I promise."
For several long moments, the backstage reporter didn't say anything--then, gradually, she stirred, stepping forward and peering up into Jeff's emerald irises. "So there's nothing going on?" Maria asked, her voice filled with a tentative wariness.
The Rainbow-Haired Warrior shook his head. "Nothing. I swear."
"You promise?" An insistent note momentarily crept into Maria's voice, revealing a glimpse of the steel that existed underneath, reminding Jeff that the backstage reporter might be sweet and bubbly--but she was far from weak.
Jeff slowly reached, taking her hand, holding it between both of his. "I promise," the younger Hardy brother whispered. Lifting her hand up to his lips, he gently kissed her fingertips.
As he did so, he allowed himself one final foray into his memories, one final recollection of Melina's lips, her scent, her taste--one last chance to remember before he had to forget.
At this, Maria finally smiled and the warmth of it seemed to light the space. "Okay, then." she murmured. Jeff returned the smile, and moving closer to her, bent down, sealing her mouth with his.
Even as he felt the kiss intensify, as he felt Maria's arms entwine around his neck, even as he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her against him, Jeff couldn't shake the deeply rooted instinct that he was making a mistake, that despite his best intentions--his actions were going to come back to bite him in the ass.
He never saw the diminutive figure standing in the corridor less than a hundred yards away, watching the two of them embrace one another. He never saw her reach up, tucking back her hair with a slow deliberate movement, before turning and disappearing out of sight down the hallway.
Melina strode down the corridor, her reddish-brown curls streaming out behind her. Her whole body was stiff, her hands clenched into fists at her side. Her face in particular was a tight expressionless mask--but already she could feel emotion eating away at it, threatening to crack it open at any moment, sending her true feelings spilling on onto the cement floor for the whole world to see.
Her apathy and newfound fear toward Johnny.
The confused miasma of dislike and yearning she felt for Jeff Hardy.
And the intense jealousy that she felt seeing the him and Maria Kanellis together--a feeling, despite her best efforts, was right now chewing away at her heart.
Up ahead of her was a restroom. Without pausing in her stride, the paparazzi princess kicked the door open, storming into the space before it even hit the opposing wall. Moving down the row of stalls, she selected the largest one on the far end, stepping inside and locking the door behind her. Walking slowly over to the far side, she slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor.
Tears pooled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks, but the Dominant Diva still refused to relinquish herself totally to her anguish. There had used to be a time when she had control over everything, including her own emotions--but now, everything was falling apart. Johnny had betrayed her, the rest of the roster was laughing at her behind her back, and the one person who cared was the one person she was supposed to have nothing to do with.
But now he was gone, too, wasn't he? In the end, even Jeff Hardy had abandoned her, preferring to make out with his clueless bimbo of a girlfriend than pay any further attention to her.
What had she expected, though? That she and Jeff would play this little love/hate game of theirs forever? That they would continue to dance around each other, indulging in, but never yielding to, their mutual desire? Sooner or later, she had to accept the fact that despite what had happened between them last week, despite all the moments they had shared in the past, their existences simply did not involve one another.
They had nothing in common.
They didn't belong together.
So then...why did his absence fill her with the most profound unhappiness?
Melina bit her lip, filling her mouth with the sharp coppery tang of blood. "He never should have come back," the Dominant Diva whispered to herself. She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms tight around them. "I was so much happier without him--"
No, Melina...the little voice inside her interjected quietly. If anything...he made you realize that you never were...
The paparazzi princess's features crumbled in misery, and burying her face in her hands, she finally allowed herself to cry.