A/N: NEW CHAPTER! Finally, the thesis is done and my appendix is gone! (The appendix was not related to the thesis; it just decided to turn traitor and inflame on me). I'm in the process of updating all of my stories; this chapter I was planning out before I took a break to finish school. I'm not sure how I feel about my execution of it; I don't know if it's exactly what I wanted - but I hope that you will all enjoy it nonetheless. ENJOY! PEACE!
A/A/N: The song lyrics are from "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by the Fray; all rights, etc. belong to them.
Thank you to Kyahbell, Esha Napoleon, DarkAngelMel2, PrettyReckless09, Extremist, BigRedMachineUK, bellebea, Normal Chick, XxxDarkCloudxxX, hdhd, wwekeks, and MelinaJeff1 for reviewing! I love you ALL! *big hugs for everyone*
Chapter 25: We Build Then We Break
As Melina gradually returned to wakefulness, the first sensation she was aware of was the light warm pressure of Jeff's arms wrapped around her.
The Dominant Diva slowly opened her eyes, blinking sleepily in the pale morning light, but otherwise remained perfectly still - lest she wake the younger Hardy brother. She couldn't remember the last time she had experienced this level of tranquility, as though all worry had been obliterated from her mind.
With Johnny - even before things had gotten bad - the paparazzi princess had always viewed mornings with a sort of impatience, as though with each second that she remained in bed, she could actually feel her status as a WWE Diva edging closer and closer to the back burner. But now, lying here next to the man she had fallen in love with, everything tangible that had once been of such great importance to her - Johnny Nitro, the Women's Championship, her career and her standing within the hierarchy of the WWE roster - no longer seemed to matter.
The only thing that mattered was the warm weight of Jeff's arm looped across her chest; the surprising strength of his fingers, which still gripped hers even in sleep; the soothingly repetitive sound of his breathing.
Melina let her eyes drift closed again as she snuggled just a little bit closer to the Charismatic Enigma. Even though the movement was slight, it was still just enough to rouse the younger Hardy - almost immediately, she felt his hand briefly squeeze hers; felt the soft brush of his lips against her skin as he kissed the curve of her neck.
And then his voice, little more than a drowsy murmur, his Southern drawl coating the words with even more warmth and richness: "Mornin', princess."
The Dominant Diva felt her mouth curve upward in a slow lazy smile. "Mornin'," she whispered, the word ending in a pleasurable gasp as Jeff's hands caressed her body, seeking out and locating more...sensitive...areas of her anatomy. She turned her head, moaning quietly in the back of her throat as he captured her mouth in a soft kiss.
Even though her mind was still half-asleep, her body was apparently wide awake - that first kiss had sent a rush of desire shooting through her limbs, and each subsequent one only intensified the feeling, until the need inside her was almost too much to bear. She rolled over onto her back and Jeff climbed on top, covering her tiny body without crushing her. Taking hold of her arms, he gently pinned them over her head, his fingers entwining through hers.
"You know," the Rainbow-Haired Warrior remarked, punctuating his words with soft kisses to her forehead, her cheek, her lips. "I have to say that this is turning out a lot better than the first time you woke up in my hotel bed." He paused, and the paparazzi princess had to bite back a moan as he kissed her throat, his tongue trailing against her skin. "As I seem to recall...you screamed at me - and then told me to get out of my own room."
In spite of herself, Melina giggled; a low throaty sound. "Yeah...sorry about that," She gripped the back of Jeff's head with both hands, her fingers tangling in his multi-hued locks, sucking in a sharp delighted breath as the younger Hardy brother laid a line of kisses along the contour of her collarbone. "Although...in my defense...I was really hungover...and at the time - I kind of hated your guts."
At this, the Charismatic Enigma lifted his head up, his emerald irises locking with hers, his expression sobering for a moment. "But not anymore...right?"
There was something so hesitantly childlike about his tone, as though he expected all of this to suddenly melt away like the evanescent quality of a dream, that the Dominant Diva felt her eyes involuntarily fill with tears. She squeezed his hand, the heated texture of his palm an equal reassurance to her that this was indeed real. "Yeah..." the paparazzi princess whispered. "Not anymore..."
Jeff ducked his head down, preparing to seal her mouth in another kiss...and then, all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.
The Rainbow-Haired Warrior groaned with obvious irritation, pressing his forehead against Melina. "I swear to God," he whispered through gritted teeth. "If that's Housekeeping, I'm gonna tell them to fuck off-"
As though to belie this, the knock came again; harder this time and accompanied by a familiar voice: "Yo, Jeffro! Open up - it's Matt!"
To this, Jeff rolled his eyes. "This better be good." Nevertheless, he placed a gentle kiss on Melina's forehead and rolled out of bed, pausing long enough to don a pair of sweatpants before opening the door. "Yeah, what is it?"
His older brother stared back at him mildly, his expression a portrait of unwitting innocence. "Did I interrupt something?"
The Charismatic Enigma glared at his elder sibling. "Shut up - don't tell me you came all the way here just to remind me to catch my flight."
Matt shrugged, unsuccessfully masking the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "No, not this time. I just figured that your guest would want these-" He indicated the suitcase and oversized purse sitting next to him in the hallway. "-before she boards her plane home."
Jeff stared at the luggage for a second or two. "I'm not even going to ask-"
"It wasn't easy," Matt cut in. "I won't go into details - except to say that it involved a couple of interns and some monetary bribery - and let me tell you, I got more than a few weird looks in the lobby."
In spite of himself, the Rainbow-Haired Warrior felt the corner of his mouth curl up in a half-smile. He and Matt might not always see eye-to-eye, and his older brother's superior attitude might bug the crap out him most of the time - but at the end of the day, they were still family...and family always looked out for one another. He reached out, grabbing the bags and pulling them into the room. "Thanks, man,"
He was about to close the door when Matt cleared his throat, his tone abruptly turning serious. "I just want to know one thing, bro..."
Jeff looked up, his green eyes meeting his brother's dark ones. Matt's gaze was unwavering. "This thing...between you and her..." For a heartbeat, his focus swung to the dim interior of the hotel room, then back to his younger brother. "...is it for real?"
Jeff's brilliant irises never left his brother; slowly, he bobbed his head up and down in a nod. "Yeah..." he replied.
For a long moment, Matt said nothing; merely stared back at him. Gradually, his face relaxed into a wry tight smile, and he returned the nod. "All right, then."
And with those three short words, Jeff knew - with the unspoken trust that exists between siblings - that no matter what happened after this...his brother would have his back.
The elder Hardy sibling lifted his hand in a brief wave. "See you back at home, dude." Jeff offered a wave of his own, and quietly closed the door.
As he walked back toward the bed, his bare feet padding softly against the carpet, he saw that Melina had sat up, holding the covers against her chest with one hand. Her long hair was tousled and tumbling over one shoulder; the morning light highlighting the planes of her face and making her even more beautiful.
Gazing at her, the Charismatic Enigma felt love and physical desire surge upward in him in equal parts. He climbed onto the bed, crawling over to the paparazzi princess and nuzzling her neck. "Now - where were we?..." he murmured lazily, reveling in the intoxicating scent of her skin.
"Jeff?" The Dominant Diva's voice was so soft, so tentative, that it was enough to make the younger Hardy brother pause. He pulled back, gazing at her with concern. Melina's expression was apprehensive, and she bit her lip as she struggled to find the words.
In spite of his solicitude toward her, Jeff once again found himself in awe that he was even able to witness this side of Melina; this facet of her being that was gentle and fragile and unsure. He wondered how no one else could have glimpsed this aspect of her - but then again, maybe they had only seen what she had wanted them to see.
After all, in this carnival-esque world of theirs, it was easier to hide your true feelings behind a mask of arrogance and disdain than admit how lonely you were - because loneliness made you vulnerable...and in the wrong hands, loneliness could be exploited.
Just as Nitro had exploited Melina's.
The Rainbow-Haired Warrior reached out, gently caressing Melina's cheek with the backs of his fingers. At his touch, the paparazzi princess looked up, her dark eyes wide and bright with tears. She swallowed hard. "You know that I'm sorry...right? And not just for last week...but for everything-" Her voice broke as the first tears spilled down her cheeks. "-everything that I ever said or did to you-"
"Whoa, whoa! Princess!" Grabbing her face in his hands, Jeff pulled her to him, covering her face with soft kisses. "It's okay!" He held her against him, wrapping his arms tightly around her slender body, feeling her tremble and cling to him as she struggled not to cry. "It's okay," the Charismatic Enigma repeated quietly. "I've got you now...and you've got me...that's all that matters."
He felt the Dominant Diva wrap her arms around his neck; felt her breath dance across his skin as she whispered: "I love you..."
Jeff closed his eyes for a second, momentarily recalling his self-created adage...
Being in love was like hitting that Swanton...when you fell, you FELL...
"I love you, too, princess..." the younger Hardy brother murmured.
For a long moment, they remained there, holding one another. Eventually, Jeff pulled back, holding Melina's face between both of his hands, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. "So..." the Rainbow-Haired Warrior ventured cautiously. "What are you going to do now?"
The paparazzi princess shrugged, the movement both helpless and euphoric at the same time. "I don't know," she admitted. A ghost of a smile flitted across her face. "I guess...that makes me just like you, huh?"
The Charismatic Enigma didn't answer; only touched the tip of his nose to hers briefly before capturing her mouth in a deep lingering kiss.
Then another. And another...
And suddenly, I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and it's effortless...
This can't be happening...
This singular thought pounded through Maria's head as she strode down the hall, like the annoying refrain of a song that one hated. Despite its repetitiveness, however, the backstage reporter endured it - mostly because even after seven days, it was the only coherent thought her brain seemed capable of producing...as though, in that one brief moment of paralyzing shock, all of her ability to cogitate rationally had been eradicated.
Or maybe because...there was some childishly foolish part of her that desperately wanted it to be true - as though by repeating the phrase enough times, like a magic incantation, it would somehow come to life and cast its spell on reality.
Wouldn't that be nice - to wake up and realize that none of this had happened? To find out that the awful truth festering inside her like a cancer was nothing more than a bad dream?
Too bad life didn't work like that. No...life instead gave you just enough truth to know that it was for real, and just enough doubt to keep you from being certain, and then provided you with a third emotion - denial - so that you could pretend, with no small amount of futile desperation, that your world wasn't spinning out of control...
This can't be happening...this CAN'T be HAPPENING...
Maria was far from the clueless bimbo she portrayed on Monday Night Raw, but she had come into the WWE with a certain amount of naivety. This sort of earnest sincerity had endeared her to a lot of Superstars and Divas...but it had also left her at the mercy of more than a few unscrupulous individuals; predators who preyed on that particular brand of vulnerability.
Randy Orton had been one of those guys, once upon a time - all the more reason not to believe him when he had approached her a week ago, and told her, rather bluntly...that Jeff was cheating on her.
The backstage reporter snapped her phone closed, gripping it tightly in her hand like some sort of protective talisman as she stared up at the Legend Killer. "I don't believe you," she snapped, trying to sound assertive despite the vertigo-like sensation that was threatening to take hold of her. "You're LYING-"
Randy chuckled softly, although there was no humor in the sound. "'Ria, angel...why on earth would I LIE?" To this, Maria had no answer...because he was right. The third-generation Superstar was one of the few individuals who had figured out that the truth, when uttered at the right time and under the right set of circumstances, could be far more manipulative and devastating than a lie. Randy didn't lie, because most of the time...he didn't need to.
The Legend Killer went on, cocking his head to the side. His eyes remained glued to her, and Maria couldn't get past how flat and lifeless they were, like those of a shark. "Don't look at me like that, angel - it's not MY fault you can't even satisfy your own boyfriend-"
"Who is she?" The backstage reporter's retort came out louder than she had wanted, and she almost cringed at the obvious raw emotion gnawing at its timbre. She could feel something building inside her, like a small spark that will eventually set off an atomic-like explosion, but she swallowed it down, FORCED herself to; settling for glaring at the World Tag Team Champion. "If you know so much, then you must know who he's cheating on me with, so...who IS she?"
From Randy, there was no answer, and after a second or two, the backstage reporter allowed her face to relax into a scornful smile. "I thought so," Tamping down the anxiety inside her - she didn't fear Randy Orton, but she didn't feel safe around him, either - she brushed past the Legend Killer. "This is all BULLSHIT-"
"He's fucking Melina," Randy's voice was so soft that at first, Maria was sure that she'd imagined it. But then the full force of the truth slammed into her, with the same velocity as a test car crashing into a brick wall, and she stopped dead, her lungs suddenly devoid of air.
As she stood there, unable to move, unable to THINK, she heard the soft scrape of Randy's boots as he approached her; felt the unwanted pressure of his hand on her shoulder. "You don't look all that surprised, angel," the Legend Killer remarked, his tone faintly amused. "Don't tell me you actually saw this coming-"
"Why..." Maria's high-pitched voice cracked. There was no point in holding back the tears; she could already feel them trickling down her cheeks. She stared up at Randy helplessly, wondering how she could have possibly seen his cruelty as kindness; wondering how she could have ever believed that he was a human. "Why are you...telling...me this?"
Randy shrugged, and the backstage reporter was stunned by the gesture; by the nonchalance of it all. "I just figured...that you would want to know." He said nothing further, but Maria could still hear the remainder of the thought, lingering in the air above them like a cloud of smoke...
"And because I can, angel. Because I can..."
Maria spun around, dashing down the hallway away from the third-generation Superstar, the malicious laughter of Randy and his tag team partner mingling with the anguished sound of her sobs...
The backstage reporter ground to a halt, the sudden motion jarring her back to the present. Since that moment, she had spent the past seven days in a fog of shock and denial - one which threatened to consume her. More than once, she had picked up her cell phone, fully prepared to call Jeff and demand the truth...and each time, she had been unable to go through with it.
Something as big as this, as devastating as this...needed to be met head-on. If she was ever to attain peace - if peace was even something to be gained from a situation like this - then she would need to confront Jeff face-to-face. She would need to look him in the eye and determine for herself whether this new piece of information was in fact the truth.
Until then...the ambiguity was going to drive her crazy.
Maria cast a cautious look around. She had been searching for Jeff in the back hallways of Baltimore's Mariner Arena for the last twenty minutes, with no success. The Charismatic Enigma was by no means elusive...but tonight...it was almost as though he didn't want to be found.
Then, just as she was about to resume her relentless pace, the backstage reporter spotted the object of her searching. The younger Hardy brother was about a hundred yards away, his back to her as he strolled down the hall. He hadn't noticed her, and something about his careless attitude - the way his hands were shoved into his pockets, the way he was bouncing on the balls of his feet as though he didn't have a care in the world - sent an involuntary rush of annoyance coursing through the Raw Diva's body.
It was as though he was not only unaware of the agony he'd put her through...but completely immune to it as well.
Maria quickened her step, attempting to close the distance between her and Jeff. She had barely covered a few feet, however, when the Rainbow-Haired Warrior ducked into a nearby dressing room, shutting the door behind him.
A handful of seconds later, the backstage had reached the door as well, and was just raising her hand to knock when she heard Jeff's voice from inside. At first, she thought he was on the phone - but then she heard a female voice answer his, its sound both strange...and completely familiar.
It was Melina's voice.
Maria's breath caught in her throat, and as she stood there, struggling to force oxygen back into her lungs, Jeff spoke again: "...I don't want you out there tonight - you might get hurt."
Melina: "I can take care of myself, Jeff."
Jeff: "I know that, princess - but this isn't a regular match. We're going to be flinging ladders at one another; if one of those catches you in the head-"
Melina, more vehemently this time: "I said that I can take of myself." A pause, then softer, hesitant: "If I don't...Johnny will suspect something. He's probably already furious that I've been avoiding him all evening. If I'm not there...it'll push him over the edge...and he'll take it out on you."
Another pause, longer this time, then Jeff, his tone quiet and resigned: "All right, princess; just...be careful, all right?"
Melina, almost too soft to hear: "I will..."
The pair fell silent, and for several long seconds, Maria couldn't hear anything. She leaned closer, until her ear was practically touching the wood. She could hear a few sounds emanating from within - the rustle of fabric, the scrape of shoes on concrete, which could have been sighing - and then one noise cut across them all, startling Maria and sending her heart plummeting into the abyss...the sound of Melina's rapturous moans.
The backstage reporter involuntarily backed away from the door, as though there was a monster on the other side waiting to burst through and grab her. She could see for the first time that it wasn't closed all the way; that it was open just a sliver - and against her will, Maria felt herself reaching toward it; felt her palm push against the wood, widening the crack just enough to peek through-
A movie director could not have arranged the shot so perfectly. The space between the door and the jamb was just wide enough to afford her a perfect view of the makeup mirror, which in turn was angled in such a way that it caught the reflections of the two figures on the other side of the room.
Maria's eyes widened as she took in the unimaginable tableau: Melina's legs wrapped around Jeff's waist, her fingernails digging into his back, her head arched back and those sounds - as harsh and grating as nails on a chalkboard to the backstage reporter's ears - escaping her throat, rising in pitch and intensity as the younger Hardy brother thrust into her again...and again...and again...
It was only a second...but it felt like an eternity. Bile climbed up her throat, so hot and thick and choking that for a second, Maria was certain that she was going to spew vomit like that little girl in The Exorcist. Clapping one hand over her mouth, stifling a low choked sob, she backed away and sprinted down the hall, running as fast as her stiletto heels would allow.
She knew that she was going to scream - she could feel the sound building and gathering momentum within her chest. Her only hope was that she could reach somewhere sufficiently secluded enough to release it; otherwise, the act of swallowing back all that pressure and emotion would no doubt rupture her heart within her chest.
Just as Maria was about to give up hope that such a location existed, she turned a corner and emerged out onto the loading dock. The area was deserted; the equipment truck hulking shadows in the dying light. Skidding to a halt at the edge of the platform, the backstage reporter screamed. It was a piercing shrill sound, full of misery and pain. She screamed until she thought her lungs would burst; until her throat was sore and she could no longer suck air back into her body.
And when she had finally stopped and the last reverberations of her wails had died away into silence, the Raw Diva slowly sank to the ground, legs splayed out on either side of her, her shoulders shaking as she wept.
Maria covered her face with both hands, tears leaking out between her fingers. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair. After all the jerks she had dated since coming to the WWE, she had finally allowed herself to believe that she had found a cute, funny, sweet guy who actually liked her for more than her face or her body.
Jeff was supposed to be the exception - even before they had started dating, all of her friends had remarked about what a cute couple they'd make. And when the Charismatic Enigma had asked her to be his girlfriend...well, even now, she couldn't describe in words just how ecstatically happy she'd been.
But in the end, it had all been a lie...hadn't it? Just like all the others, Jeff had let her down, too. Not only had he cheated on her with another Diva - but that other Diva had been Melina.
Melina...the one person that the younger Hardy brother had every reason to hate.
But the thing that hurt the most, more than knowing that she wasn't good enough, even more than knowing that Melina somehow was...was the realization that some small insignificant part had known for a long time that it was going to play out like this. And it wasn't based on what she had just witnessed - or when, a few weeks ago, she thought she had heard Jeff call her by another name.
No...she had known instinctively that it was all going to turn out this way when she had returned from ringside during a Lumberjill match to see the younger Hardy brother talking to the Dominant Diva. There had been this look on his face - one she could still picture even now - of acute longing and need that he had never shown toward her. Not prior to that moment...and not once in any of the moments that had followed had he ever looked at the backstage reporter with that kind of intensity.
How could she ever hope to compete with the paparazzi princess...when she couldn't even evoke that magnitude of feeling?
Maria slowly let her hands drop back down onto her lap. Her full lips were quivering, her voice barely more than a broken whisper. "All s-she ever did...was m-make his life miserable...so why h-her? Wuh-why h-her and n-not...m-me?" Her words melted away into tears as she broke down crying once again.
Part of her wanted to confront them; to kick open the door and watch both of them fumble for an explanation. But Maria already knew how that story would play out - she would cry and call him a liar, Jeff would make excuses, she would slap him and storm out. And then the most excruciating part of the pantomime would take place - the part where everyone would rally around her and tell her that it was all right, staring at her with those bland condescending expressions of pity.
The backstage reporter hated being pitied; it was as though, in everyone's eyes, she was reduced to this helpless simpering thing, incapable of standing up for herself or making rational decisions - even her closest friends were not immune to this particular emotion.
And in the end, what would happen to Melina? Nothing. At this rate, the paparazzi princess couldn't sink any lower in terms of her current social standing within the Diva hierarchy, and even if the other Divas gave her hell, she would always have this to rub in Maria's face - the cold ugly fact that she'd managed to steal Jeff Hardy's heart...while the backstage reporter had never possessed it to begin with.
Maria's pretty features tightened, her tears slowing and ceasing altogether as her face became a icy hard mask. The Dominant Diva had taken everything from her...and she would be damned before she let that A-list skank get away with it. There had to be some way to make her pay; there had to be some way-
The backstage reporter went stock-still for a second or two as the idea washed over her. Pushing herself back to her feet, she stood, turning and walking back toward the arena. With each step, she could feel everything - emotion, warmth, caring - bleeding away; swallowed up by the notion of vengeance; the sensation like the cold wet embrace of grave dirt.
Maria walked down the halls, staring straight ahead, acknowledging nothing, until she arrived at a dressing room door. The backstage reporter paused, glancing up, her green eyes coldly scanning the printed letters to confirm that she did indeed have the right room.
Johnny Nitro
The Raw Diva felt her mouth stretch wide in a tight humorless smile. So no one had faith in her. So they regarded her as little more than an airhead; a beautiful moron who could barely even hold onto a microphone, let alone a man. So she was too sweet, too naive, too dumb to ever be taken seriously.
Well, that...was all about to change.
Raising her hand, Maria knocked on the door.